I stop outside the bathroom door and wait, almost hoping she’ll follow me. If she does, I’ll have no choice but to take her fast and hard against the wall. I adjust the towel, because I feel like my balls are trying to crawl up my throat. I have never, ever felt like this before. I’ve never been this turned on.

What’s sad is that she has no idea how much sheer willpower it took for me to turn her down. She was naked right in front of me, with her pert breasts up high, and her flat stomach leading down to a thatch of hair that was far from trimmed. It was perfect. Absolute perfection, and I was an idiot for turning her down.

I reach my hand out to turn the knob and go back in, but then I stop. If I go in there, it will be nothing more than what it was two minutes ago. It will be nothing but me getting my rocks off while she pretends that all is right with the world.

I’m sure it would be amazing, and earth-shattering, and it might even be life-changing, but it won’t be real. And I want something that’s real.

I get dressed and open the bedroom door a crack. The two little ones are sleeping and the two older kids are quietly watching TV.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and text my brother as I sit down on the edge of the bed.

Me: Any chance you and Lark could come and help us with the kids?

BestBrotherEver: Nope.

Me: Why not?

BestBrotherEver: Mom said we couldn’t, even if you called and begged and pleaded.

Me: Are you serious?

BestBrotherEver: Yes.

BestBrotherEver: Want to tell me what’s wrong?

Me: No.

BestBrotherEver: Why not? I’ll pretend I don’t have balls and I’ll give you advice. Good advice. Advice you can only get from a woman.

Me: Lark’s with you, huh?

BestBrotherEver: Hi, Mick! It’s Lark. How’s my sister?

Dripping wet in the shower where I just turned down sex with her, I think to myself.

Me: She’s fine.

BestBrotherEver: Are you sure?

Me: I’m positive. I’m sitting right here looking at her.

I’m looking at her naked in my mind’s eye, for fuck’s sake.

BestBrotherEver: It’s me again. Lark is sending me to the store to get peanut butter and ice cream.

Me: Pregnant food?

BestBrotherEver: Did you know that pregnant women want to have sex all the time? It’s like heaven. With bitching and crying. Henry tells me not to try to fight with a hormone, that I can’t win. So, I just get crazy food and let her climb on the old Ryan pole any time she wants.

Me: Ew

BestBrotherEver: TMI?

Me: Way TMI.

BestBrotherEver: So what’s wrong? Why are you asking for help? Shit getting too real?

Me: Define too real.

BestBrotherEver: You’re feeling feelings and she’s feeling feelings and you’re both hot and sweaty and tired and you have kids stuck up your ass 24/7 and you’re stuck in a confined space with them. When that happens, things tend to get real. It’s like feelings and shit are sitting right there on the surface, and they’re just waiting to either be acknowledged or thumped away.

I say nothing, because what Ryan’s saying sort of makes sense, and that scares the fuck out of me.

Me: You been reading pregnancy books again?

BestBrotherEver: No, I’m married and I love it. And I know if I was you, and I was stuck in confined spaces all day with the woman I love, I’d want to jump her bones, particularly late at night when she’s lying there breathing softly beside me.

Me: .....

BestBrotherEver: You tried to fuck her and she said no, right? I knew it.

Me: No, that’s not what happened.

BestBrotherEver: Oh my GOD! SHE tried to fuck YOU and YOU said no.

Me: Shut up

BestBrotherEver: You turned down pussy you’re in love with.

Me: It’s not the right time.

BestBrotherEver: You waiting for her to drop down on her knees and profess her undying love for you?

Me: Shut up

BestBrotherEver: Oh my GOD. You are!

Me: I hate you.

BestBrotherEver: Did you tell her about Nicky?

Me: No

BestBrotherEver: Why not?

Me: What good would that do?

BestBrotherEver: It would help her understand why you’re not taking her up on the pussy buffet, dumbass.

Me: Nicky was a long time ago.

BestBrotherEver: And it explains why you’re looking for the perfect happily-ever-after rather than sex.

BestBrotherEver: Tell her.

Me: I don’t think that’ll solve anything.

BestBrotherEver: Hey, all this love bullshit is amazing, but Lark wants to talk to Wren and she’s not answering her phone. So your phone’s going to ring in 3…2…1…

Me: I hate you.

BestBrotherEver: I love you too. Answer your fucking phone so my wife will stop texting me.

My phone rings and I swipe the slider.

“Hey, Mick,” Lark says. “Is my sister around?”

“She’s in the bathroom.”

“Can you pass her the phone? It’ll only take a second.”

“Hang on.”

I knock lightly on the bathroom door. Wren opens it. Apparently, she showered, because she’s wrapped in a towel.

“Lark wants to talk to you.”

She nods, but she doesn’t look me in the eye. My fingertips brush hers when she takes the phone from me, and heat shoots straight up my arm. I swear I hear her let out a breathy little gasp, just before she jerks the phone, and her hand, away and closes the door.

I get Anna and Devon ready to go swimming for a couple of hours, and herd them out the door.