Sylus had me naked on his bed.

My heart raced with anticipation as I pressed my ass out towards him. My whole body was aching for his cock with a desire I'd denied for so long.

I trusted Sylus. And I wanted him to take my virginity.

"If you want me to stop, just say the word," Sylus said.

"I can take it," I said, completely unsure if I actually would be able to.

I shivered as he rubbed the lube on me, his fingers taking a moment to tease my entrance. He pushed one in and I gripped the bedsheets, surprised at the unfamiliar sensation.

"Good?" he asked.

"Yeah," I murmured.

Then he pushed in a second finger. I allowed myself to relax, taking the stretch of his two thick digits. He curled his fingers against my spot and I moaned in shock.

"H-holy! Fuck!"

He teased me like that for a little while and then removed his fingers. "Ready for the real deal?”

“Yeah.”

I felt the touch of his condomed cock against me, and he gripped my waist and began to push inside.

"Oh, shit," I groaned. He was big and it fucking hurt, but it was a good pain. As I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to open up as much as possible for him, I reminded myself of something Sylus had told me when I'd first met him. Pain is weakness leaving the body. I was leaving my weakness behind.

And as that thought went through my mind, the pain slowly dissolved into pleasure. He was inside of me.

"Fuck," he muttered. "You're so tight, Chris."

Then he started to rock his hips. His cock pumped in and out of me, sliding against my spot and sending waves of ecstasy through my body. I had no idea I could feel this kind of pleasure without touching my cock.

He started to move harder, faster. The pain was back and I embraced every moment of it. I clenched the sheets between my teeth, groaning into them as he fucked me, the sound of skin on skin echoing through the room. Soon, my mind was in another place, taken by the pleasure. I was being fucked by Sylus. I was being fucked by Sylus. I was being fucked by Sylus.

I barely even heard him say he was going to come. The orgasm hit me at almost the exact same time, like a dam bursting and exploding a lifetime of pent-up emotion and desire in a single instant. I bellowed into the sheets as it rocked me. I was no longer in control of my body. I felt my cock flex and throb as I made a mess on the sheets, and I could feel Sylus pulsing inside of me.

When the climax had passed, it felt like I had been stripped bare, like I was a whole new man. I collapsed onto the sheets, a delicious soreness lingering in my body, proof that Sylus had taken me.

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

"Now that is a fucking lesson," I breathed.

After cleaning up our mess, we lay together underneath the covers. It felt so good to be there with him, holding each other, and it made me wonder what it would be like if we were a real couple.

I lay against his chest and looked up at his face. I reached up and touched his cheek, feeling the prickle of stubble against my fingertips. Then, I pushed my face into his neck and drew in a deep breath. God, he smelled good.

I brushed a strand of hair from his forehead and ran my finger gently and curiously across his eyepatch. Sylus took my hand and held it against his chest.

"Sometimes your weakness can become your greatest strength," he said, after a long silence. "Syria, six years ago. It was my first mission as a MARSOC Raider. We were executing a night mission to take three targets, in and out, no fuss, no muss. Turned out, our intel was bad and they knew we were coming. They pinned us down with explosives and a machine gun, and we had to hold off their attack to allow for our extraction. A helicopter rescue that should've taken thirty minutes took five hours. I was with my brother, Virgil, stuck belly-down in a cesspit for cover, holding the line. A grenade sent an inch-long piece of shrapnel at me."

Sylus tapped his eyepatch. "I thought I was going to die out there. Turned out, losing my eye encouraged me to prove I couldn't be slowed down, that it was no disability to me. A year later, I was regarded as one of the best snipers in the Raiders."

"Shit.” I was stunned by his resilience.

"You're the first person to hear that whole story, aside from my brothers."

"You're quite an amazing human, Sylus Synn," I told him. "I can only imagine the kind of things you went through. Makes me realize my hang-ups and issues are pretty petty in comparison."

"No. It's all subjective. We've got different mountains to tackle using different toolsets. It's hard for me to imagine what you've struggled with. My question is, are you going to finally come out publicly?"

It felt like frost had crept over my entire body. That was the real question, wasn't it? To me, the answer was obvious.

"My career hinges on the persona that's been built up for me," I said. "It would be career suicide to come out publicly."

Sylus looked surprised. "Hold up. So, you're gonna tell me that after all this, you'll be going back to square one?"

"It's not square one. You know about it."

"And, when I leave?"

I sat up. "What do you mean?"

"When my job is finished."

"Well... I was hoping you'd stay on as my regular bodyguard."

He wiped his hair back and exhaled a long breath. "I don't know about that, Chris."

"Why not? We could see where this thing takes us, and—"

"I'm not about hiding. Thought you would've got that about me. Right now, this is a professional arrangement, like we agreed. Anything after that..." He shook his head. "You're a celebrity. You're a superstar. I understand why you'd want to keep things on the down low. But I ain't into keeping secrets."

"Except for your war stories?"

His eye narrowed. "Those are no one’s business but my own."

"And this is no one’s business but my own."

"That's fine," he said. "But you're asking me to continue this thing, and it's not something I can imagine myself keeping secret."

"There's no reason it needs to go beyond a professional arrangement.” I was grasping at straws, trying to make this work because I wanted him.

"It'd be a lie," he said.

Hearing that made my heart jump, knowing he might be feeling something more.

I went back to my bed to go to sleep. I wanted to stay in Sylus's room, but couldn't bring myself to ask. He was right—it would be a lie. I’d be lying if I said that I didn't want to take this further. I was in a real fucking bind, and I had no idea what to do. I knew I was being selfish by hoping Sylus would continue this thing in secret. Bodyguard by day, lover by night. We'd never be able to have a normal relationship. But I couldn't help but pray for him to change his mind.

I dreamed we were together, a couple.

I woke suddenly with my pulse racing, a lump in my throat and a throbbing erection in my pajamas. I clung to the sweet feelings created through fantasy that were quickly fading away with the dream. Him next to me. Wanting me. Us, together, no secrets.

In the end, all I was left with was an ache in my chest and the creeping return of that damn familiar self-loathing.

As I lay in bed trying hard to clear my mind, I began to get the feeling that something wasn't right. I didn't know what it was—until Sylus burst into my room.

"Chris. Wake up."

I shot upright.

"What the fuck?"

He had his cell phone in one hand, its screen glowing, and in the other he clutched a pistol.