It'd been the most difficult month of my life.

Since Sylus left, the temptation to go back to the comfort of the bottle was massive, and it definitely didn't help that the opportunities to drink were numerous because of the new album. But I was determined to keep my word. I thought of the story he'd told me about his eye, and the strength that allowed him to endure and come out on top. I wanted to tap into some of that strength and use it for myself.

I'd begun writing a new song about him. How could I not? There was so much to say, so much I had to express that I'd never been able to before. Audrey agreed to collaborate on the track with me in a duet.

We sat in my home studio to record a demo to present to the label executives. I was on my acoustic guitar, running through the song and making adjustments as Audrey practiced singing.

"I like this," she said, reading the lyrics. "Chris, this is so different from your other music. It's beautiful."

"Hey," I said with fake offense. "You saying my other music sucks?"

"Low-key terrible," she said with the biggest shit-eating grin. "Jay-kay."

I shook my head and turned back to my guitar.

"This song is about him, isn't it?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Why are you playing dumb? I know you miss Sylus."

I plucked the strings, drawing out the melody of the song. I'd hoped I'd be able to move on with my life and everything I felt would just fade away, but a month later and I could still feel the touch of his fingers on my skin, how his lips tasted on mine, and the warmth of his body against me. Everything was just as fresh as the day he left.

Audrey sat next to me and touched my shoulder. "Hey," she said gently. "It's alright."

"I feel like I'm going insane," I said.

"I don't blame you. I would be going crazy too. You're being completely unfair to yourself, you know? You don't need to be suffering like this."

"What else can I do? There's nothing I can do."

"Tell him how you feel, maybe?"

"As long as I have to keep things a secret, that won't matter."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "So, enough with the secrets.”

I laughed. "You're shitting me, right?"

"I am absolutely not shitting you, Chris," she said.

"You know exactly why I can't do that."

"Yeah, you've told me. And I'm telling you that if you don't face the fact that you're just scared, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life. Is that worth saving your career for? You've made it, Chris. You've already done what you set out to do in the music world." Audrey reached out and put her hand on my wrist. "Now, you've gotta do what's right for you. Don't you think?"

I stared at her, speechless.

She squeezed my arm. "You can do it."

Audrey went home after finishing recording her part of the demo, and I stayed up late tweaking the mastering. It was already perfectly acceptable, I knew that, but I didn't want to go to bed. I was thinking about him more than usual tonight, and I knew that passing by the guest room would set me off. The house was lonelier than ever before. I missed Sylus.

I hit the play button and listened to the track again. Audrey's and my voice harmonized beautifully with the unplugged acoustic guitar.

I had accomplished everything I'd set out to with my career, hadn't I? I wanted to be a superstar musician, and I was. I had money and fame. So, what was I so afraid of?

The track ended. I pressed play again. This was definitely nothing like anything I'd released before. This wasn't some catchy twang fest meant to reach the top of the pop charts. This was music from my heart, maybe for first time.

I knew what I wanted. I knew what I needed to do. The question was whether or not I could summon the courage to do it.

We all had different mountains to tackle. This was my Everest.