CHAPTER 9

DARCY

 

I let Mum cry in my arms for a bit longer until she calmed down a little.

Passing her some tissues to dry her face, I make us some tea but I make Mum’s a little sweeter than normal, my grandmother always did that, said the sugar helped - I don’t know how though.

I look at the time and see it’s only ten thirty p.m. Grabbing a packet of biscuits, I pop them under my arm and take those and the teas into the living room. I pass Mum her mug and sit down.

There are no words to say. We’re both upset and don’t know how to deal with Dad’s revelations.

Surely it was just said in the heat of the moment? But he has been getting worse now for a while - even I can tell that. I’ve had such a good evening with Adam and was on a high, then I came back to this.

I hate feeling like this, I don’t mean to be selfish but I just wanted a night for myself, to think of myself for a change.

“How was your date on Saturday, Darcy?” Mum asks me while wiping her nose.

“It was good,” I say smiling, but I can’t let myself be as happy as I was, it doesn’t seem fair.

“Is that who you were with tonight?” she says with a small smile.

“Yeah, it was.”

“And this is the lad you met a couple of weeks ago?”

I smile and nod.

“What’s his name again?” she asks fishing for information. If it makes her happier - I’ll tell her…

“I don’t think I told you. His name’s Adam and he’s twenty-two... and I actually really like him.” I confess shyly.

“Well then I need to meet him.”

I raise my eyebrows at her and smirk.

“Someone finally has my baby girl’s attention, I have to meet him.” Mum pulls me into her and hugs me. I smile sadly. Dad should be here while I tell them I’ve met someone but he’s not, well not in mind anyway.

We drink the rest of our tea and tell Mum I’m heading to bed as I’m exhausted. I kiss her cheek, take my cup to the kitchen, leave it in the sink then head up.

I lie there for a while. I can’t get the thought from my head that Dad really wants to die. I turn onto my side and try to get comfy but it’s not working. Picking up my phone, I flick through Facebook, boring. Without thinking, I open my text messages and send Adam a message.

 

ME: Hey, you busy?

 

I send Adam a message, he probably won’t answer though... I don’t know what it is about him but he makes me forget about my problems for a while. I wait for a few seconds when I don’t get one back, I go to place my phone on the table at the side of me when it rings in my hand… I look at the caller ID and hold my breath, as I see Adams name.

Shit, I didn’t think he’d ring! Do I answer it, or don’t I? Oh, for God’s sake Darcy man up before it rings off! Not thinking anymore, I slide across the screen and lift it to my ear.

“Hi.”

“Hey gorgeous, are you okay?”

“Um, yeah,” I say quietly, “I just thought I’d text you.”

“You miss me already?”

“A little ahead of yourself aren’t ya?!” I answer joking with him.

“Always babe, you know that.” I smile knowing that he is but that’s his way, and I’m quickly getting used to that.

“So, did I disturb you when I text you?”

“No never. I was just finishing off a manuscript for my boss. You could never disturb me.”

“Aww!” I smile again. “Well I better let you get back to it.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem quiet.”

“That ‘cause I’m talking quietly….” I say sarcastically.

“Hahaha, funny! Okay If you need to talk though, I’m a good listener, just so as you know.” I smile to myself, “you get some sleep beautiful.”

“Why do you call me that?”

“Call you what? Beautiful?”

“Yeah.”

“Because you are, now get some sleep. Night, babe.”

“Night, Adam.” I click the receiver button and place my phone on the bedside table. I turn over, get comfy and drift off with Adam’s voice in my head. I don’t think I’m beautiful but I can argue with him in my head, right?

 

**********

 

This week has dragged by. Business is terrible, I’ve had to send one of the guys home as I can’t afford to pay him.

I’m not cut out to run a business obviously.

I drink my coffee which has now gone cold and pick up my chicken salad baguette. Thank goodness, it’s Friday. We’ve got nothing on for tomorrow so I’m thinking of not opening at all.

Fuck it - there’s absolutely no point whatsoever. Maybe it’s me... maybe it’s me that’s run the business into the ground…

I’m so entranced by my own pity party I don’t hear the person that walks into the garage.

“Are you thinking about me?”

I squeal in shock as the voice speaks into my ear, but I know who it is the instant I hear it. I spin around to face him and tap him on the hard chest.

“You made me jump you idiot!” I say frowning slightly.

“What’s up, babe?” He smiles at me as he bends at the waist slightly to capture my lips. Gazing into his captivating eyes I see the gentle, protectiveness in them.

We’ve spoken every night since I texted him Monday night, just everyday chatting - telling each other about our day; he knows about the garage already and knows how worried I am that I’m going to fail. He assures me that I’m not but I’m not as positive as he is.

I haven’t told him about Dad though yet, but I’m not sure how long I can keep it from him. Dad has barely come out of his room, he hardly speaks to anyone.

It’s not that he can’t get around... he can with the help of his sticks, but he chooses not to, then treats Mum and me like crap in return.

“You look deep in thought. What’s wrong?” he cups my face with his hands and makes me look up at him. The smile he was wearing has completely gone now and in its place a scowl.

“It’s my Dad, his depression isn’t getting any better, the tablets he takes aren’t helping it seems and refuses to go back to see the doctor. I’m worried about him and Mum. Dad told Mum on Monday night that he wanted to die. He said he was useless and it would better for everyone if he was dead. I can’t deal with that - he’s my Dad for fucks sake. This place is sinking quicker than the Titanic did. What the fuck am I gonna do Adam?!”

Tears prick at my eyes and gone is the strong Darcy, in her place is a young girl who just wants her Dad back and with no responsibility.  

“Babe, it’ll be okay.” Adam pulls me into him, holds me and lets me cry. He rests his cheek on top of my head as his hand cups my bare neck, massaging it softly and telling me everything is going to be fine... but I don’t see how it will be.