CHAPTER 22

DARCY

 

Well, here I am again, head in the toilet spewing my guts up from a sip of nasty coffee. I need to do a test, that’s what I need to do. I wipe my mouth on some tissue as the door knocks lightly.

“Darcy, it’s only me chica. You ok?” I slide the lock across, I know it’s only Taylor and I can tell her. She pushes open the door as I stand. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I flush the toilet and step out then stand in front of the sink. I run the tap as I look at her in the mirror. I scrape my bottom lip with my teeth thinking about what to say, do I say it’s something else or tell her the truth.

Taking a deep breath in… “I think I might be pregnant.”

“I fucking knew it! When Adam said you’d been passing out and been sick already today. Ugh, he’s such a moron, how has he not guessed?” I shrug.

“Because he’s male, maybe?”

“We need a test. Maybe we should pop down to the hospital shop.”

“Taylor! I’m not doing it here.” I tell her as my voice raises an octave. “I have too much to worry about with my Dad right now.”

“Darcy, if you don’t find out and you keep being sick and passing out for no reason you’re not going to be much use are you.”

I look at her with pursed lips. I have a swig of water from the tap and swill my mouth out. “Want some chewing gum?”

Taylor offers me a tab of chewing gum and within seconds of popping it into my mouth, the minty taste freshens up the cesspit from being sick. “Come on, let’s go downstairs.”

“I need my bag first.” We go back to the waiting room. Mum is still in there by the looks of it. “I’m heading downstairs to the shop. Do you guys want anything?”

Adam stands and holds my shoulders. “Do you want me to come?”

“No, I’m okay,” I nod, “Taylor’s going to come with me, I need a break for five. Is that okay?” I ask quietly.

“Yeah, of course.” He kisses my forehead and lets me go. I grab my bag from the floor and place it on my shoulder. “Grab me a chocolate bar then, babe.” I roll my eyes to Taylor as we walk to the lifts.

 

I tuck the pregnancy test into the bottom of my bag and grab us both a chocolate bar... we grab Todd something too and a couple of bottles of water for us. We’re in the lift on the way back to the ward as my phone rings in my bag. Looking for it under all the shit in my bag, it rings off before I can put my hand on it. “SHIT!” Placing my bag on the floor I start to take everything out as it starts to ring again, finding it and pulling it out I see it’s Adam. “Hello!” I answer abruptly.

“Babe, you need to get back up here, now.”

“OH GOD! I’m on my way.” I will for the lift to hurry up. The doors open and we reach the floor we need while I’m shoving everything back in my bag. The doors open just as I finish, a look is all it takes for Taylor to know what I’m trying to say. We run from the lift and back to the ward. I drop my bag onto the floor and run into the room. There’s nurses and the doctor standing around the bed, my Mum is clinging to a nurse. Looking back at Dad then at the flat line on the monitor, everything rushes at me at once. The doctor shakes his head at me then looks at his watch. “Time of death; Two forty-five pm. Thanks everyone.”

 

“No!” I drop to me knees. My heart breaks as I realise my Dad is gone.

My hero. He’s gone! He’s dead.

I feel sick. Everything is numbed.

The room goes quiet as everyone leaves us, I sit on the floor not able to stand, my legs are like jelly so I stay where I am.

“Darcy, let me help you up babe, you can’t sit there.” I let Adam pick me up from the floor and sit me in a chair as he squats in front of me. He holds me again as a torrent of tears stream from my eyes but I can’t get them to stop. “Darcy. I love you babe, we’ll get through this.” I nod. His thumbs wipe the tears from my cheeks as more replace them. “I promise babe. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” I nod but I don’t really hear him, my body and mind is numbed.

I stand at the bed watching him, I don’t know why I think he’s all of a sudden going to open his eyes, I know he’s not going to. I pick up his hand, it’s still warm. “Adam can I have a minute please?” He nods and guides my Mum from the room.

“Dad.” I kiss his cheek. “I love you and always will, you’ll always be my hero.” I lift his hand to my face, I rest my cheek against it as the tears roll onto our hands making it wet. I want him to come back to me. If

I’m pregnant, my baby is never going to know his grandfather. The heavy sobs tear through me until I can’t breathe. Hiccupping and gasping, I cry for everything. I lay my head on his chest again like last time just feeling him close to me before I have to let him go for good.