Trusting
~Caroline~
“Trust me, Lux.”
“Always, Rex, but tell me what is going on, dammit,” I reply harshly once we are back at Rex’s house after a tension-filled ride home.
Alvin Higgins was in my apartment. He has been watching me. He is waiting for me, waiting for an opportunity to have me tethered to his cross or whatever kinky contraption he may have now. Bile rises in my throat as the memories invade.
Higgins wouldn’t kidnap me, would he? Why come back now? Questions play in my mind as Rex grabs a duffle bag from his closet and begins to pack some of my stuff, shoving my new panties into the bag with pajamas.
I stand stock still as he moves around the room, my heart sinking. Certainly, he isn’t sending me packing. He can’t break up with me when we aren’t completely together, can he?
“Shooter is comin’ to get you because it’s not safe for you here. We need to know that Higgins worked alone. Until then, we need to take you someplace else. Shooter will keep you safe.”
“Of course he will. He took care of Tessie, after all,” I mumble in anger.
Before I can react, Rex is closing in on me, making me back up until I hit the wall. He cages me in with each of his hands coming up to rest on the wall on either side of my head.
“Yeah, he fuckin’ did. I told you, Lux, there are far better men than me, and he’s one of them. You want that, go find it—consider yourself free. I’ve paid for my mistakes, and they haunt me to this day. Don’t throw shit up in my face when right now I’m sacrificing my club and my life out of fuckin’ love for you, all to handle your shit,” he spits out each venom-laced word.
His words don’t register right away. Tears fill my eyes at his anger towards me.
“I don’t want fuckin’ Shooter. I wanna stay with you. I don’t want better, because they don’t come better for me. I want you, dammit.”
His lips crash down on mine in a kiss that is more than passion; it is pure possession. I relish it and give back to him as hard as he is giving to me while I claw at his cut, wanting to get lost in him. Our teeth clank together painfully as my tongue seeks out his, and we fight for dominance over each other.
Finally, he pulls away breathlessly.
“I don’t want him, Rex. It’s you. I wanna be with you.” My eyes plead with him, my words meaning so much more than just this moment and him pushing me away for the night.
“If you want me when this is over, and you aren’t scared, you got me. I need to sleep at night knowing you’re safe and no shadows from the past can toy with you anymore. I need to sleep at night with you in my arms, knowing you want to be there for you and for me, for us, not out of fear. I want it all with you, but I can’t give you that with the clouds of your past hangin’ over our heads.”
“Why Shooter? Why can’t I go to Doll and Tripp?”
“What if it isn’t Higgins following you? We don’t know for sure. Doll is pregnant. I can’t bring that to her doorstep.”
Frustrated, I shoot off at the mouth, “And sending me to the house your son lives in is a better doorstep to land me and my problems on?”
“Lux, I trust Shooter to keep my son safe. He keeps my flesh and blood safe. Night after night, he does that. I gotta handle Higgins so we can be free of all of this, but I need you to go where I know you’re safe. I can’t lose you, and I can’t let Higgins get to you. Shooter will do whatever it takes to keep you safe, just like I would for him. Tripp is on a transport I couldn’t take because of you, so Doll has a prospect watchin’ her. I can’t bring this to her doorstep. Shooter has my back.”
Softening my tone, I say, “I don’t want to fight with you. I’ll go, but you need to know, this isn’t about me needing to be safe. This is about me wanting you, simply you. I love the dirty talking, badass walking, biker I met at a barbeque once who has become my knight in denim and leather as well as my every fantasy and every dream. Find Higgins. Do what you need to do so we can move on in our lives together. You, me, and the miles that pass beneath us—that’s what I want, Rex.”
“Then that’s what the fuck you’ll get.” He pauses, breathing heavily, his eyes searching mine. “You really mean it?”
“Yes,” I reply, matching his gaze.
“You love the dirty talking, badass walking, biker, huh? Good to know.” He kisses me softly this time as something shifts between us.
As I kiss him back, slowly drinking him in, his hands come down to run softly up and down my sides. Most of the kisses shared between Rex and I have been lust-driven, adrenaline-fueled, and fully combustible, but this one is different.
His tongue deliberately moves against mine as if he is memorizing this moment. My hands reach around his neck before sliding up into his hair. When he pulls away, sucking on my bottom lip before giving me a few short pecks, there is a definite change in the dynamics of our relationship tonight.
He did say he loved me—sort of—but my insecurities creep in.
“Let’s go.” He pulls back from me. “The quicker we get this sorted, the quicker we can get back to me lovin’ you, and the quicker we can get back to you riding my cock. That bra on your bed really isn’t my taste, but picturing you in leather and lace? Oh, yeah. Higgins may have had trouble gettin’ hard, but just the thought of you has me ready to explode,” he pipes out casually as he continues to pack the small bag for me.
~~~~
Three days later, I am on edge. Shooter says everything is fine. Apparently, Boomer followed the blue sedan from Rex’s the night we found the bra at my apartment. Noticing the tail, the car took off. Boomer stayed with him, but this sent both Boomer and Rex out of town, following my stalker.
“We got a problem, Shooter. Momma’s almost up, and we got no fruit. I think Lux ate the last of the blueberries. Momma is gonna make us eat the oatmeal, dude. No way can we have pancakes without fruit.” I listen to Axel talking to Shooter as I make my way into the kitchen.
“Dude, really?” Shooter chastises jokingly. “I’ll handle your mom. We’re not eatin’ oatmeal, buddy.”
“Shooter, man, I think you’re awesome, but you don’t have super powers. My dad is like total tough guy, and he even says I gotta eat the oatmeal when mom says to. You aren’t gonna win.”
Shooter grips his chest in mock pain. “You crush me. I can’t believe you said I don’t have super powers. Way to lose the faith. Damn. I guess we better get ready to choke it down.”
“You keep cussin’ around my son, you’ll be choking on soap, not oatmeal, mister!” Tessie enters the kitchen from behind me.
“Losin’ your touch, man,” Axel teases Shooter.
I smile at the banter. Axel really does look and act just like Rex.
Finally, the little boy notices me and runs over to hug me like he does every time he sees me since our second visit with him.
Rex does stuff with him, just the two of them, and other times with Shooter. However, he tries to have time for the three of us, as well.
As I run my hands through Axel’s hair, I smile as I think of a future for all of us co-parenting this little man together. Does Rex see that, too?
“Yes, we all do.” Tessie comes over and whispers to me as Axel takes off to his room to get ready for the day.
“How do you know what I’m thinking?” I ask as I move over to the coffee pot.
“The love you have for my son is written all over your face as you watch him. The worry you have for my son’s father is etched in every feature as you constantly glance out of my kitchen window waiting for Rex to pull up. I know this isn’t easy, but you gotta know, Rex wouldn’t have you around Axel if he didn’t think you weren’t going to be around for our boy. He’s a lot of things, not all of them are good, but he’s a good dad. You’re part of this, too. You’re part of our strange dynamic that has somehow found a way to work. Rex and you will find a way to work, too.”
“Thanks, Tessie.”
“Anytime you need a reminder of how far you’ve come with Rex, look at him. Really look at him. You bring out the good inside him. You challenge him. You don’t accept the bullshit freely. Since you, he doesn’t run wild with the barflies anymore. Since you—since Axel—he has changed. Dare I say, he has grown up? Once you’re safe, you’ll be free to see for yourself the way he looks at you.” She smiles sweetly at me as she begins to make oatmeal.
“You really make them eat this every day? I’ll admit it, when he’s with us, he gets cereal, and yeah, we sneak him donuts, too.” I feel guilt wash over me that I am breaking his mom’s rules.
Tessie laughs at me. “It’s become a weird game of sorts, honestly. When we would struggle, oatmeal was a cheap and warm breakfast to feed him during the cold winter months. Then Shooter came along, and it became their thing to wake up and beat me to making breakfast.” She giggles to herself. “Honestly, it works for me. Most mornings, Shooter is up and has it all done. Shhh … mom code here; you can’t share my secret. It’s nice to have someone else handle breakfast. So, yup, I make sure to feed him oatmeal when I can to remind them to beat me to it.” She winks at me as she finishes up breakfast.
Another morning, another day. I will go to work with Shooter as my shadow. I will leave work and return here to wait impatiently for Rex to return. I can do this. I will do this. I will not distract him, because he is making this sacrifice for me, not for his club, not for some obligation, but to keep me safe because I matter to him.
~Rex~
By the time I was able to get Lux over to Shooter’s, Boomer lost Higgins. We are unable to confirm the driver of the sedan. After my text, he was going to disable the vehicle and move in on the driver. Only, the driver pulled away right as he got my approval to move forward.
Boomer followed the blue sedan to none other than Alvin Higgins’s gated community. Pulling over, he climbed a fence and made his way to the immaculate home. With no concern for being exposed, the blue sedan sat freely in his driveway. Without the proper tools with him, Boomer was unable to enter the home without triggering the alarm; therefore, he waited.
It didn’t take long before Higgins was back in the blue sedan and traveling south towards Caroline’s apartment. He followed him into a gas station, which is where Boomer thinks he was made. Higgins pulled out and headed into South Carolina where, due to gas needs, we lost him.
Until now.
The blue sedan was ditched and traded for a Mercedes rental outside of Columbia, South Carolina. Our boy, Conductor, hacked into Higgins’s financial records where his credit card charges easily gave us a trail to follow.
John Boy and Dukes handled the breaking and entering effortlessly, and we were able to confirm Higgins is working alone. Between the pictures he printed and the computer files scoured, Chad’s inquisition was more a pay-off. Once he was able to tie Lux to Higgins as his previous dog walker, he reached out on the basis of needing an employment reference. This all brought Lux and her current life to the forefront of Higgins’s mind. Finding her living alone and working in a corporate job, no longer tied to the Hellions, he thought it would be safe to move in.
Wrong.
It has taken us two days of following and another day of securing, but now I have the bastard in the simple basement of the small ranch house in the middle of Sumter County, South Carolina. The ten acres on which it is centered keeps outsiders away. The Sumter Charter of the Hellions MC have been more than accommodating for me and my guest.
Since he managed to stay at a five star elite hotel with cameras and security, getting him out was an issue. A bellhop uniform, a janitor uniform, a syringe, and a laundry cart all aided in our ability to go in and out unnoticed.
We came in, he fought a little before the prick of the needle—the injection of Propofol—and quickly he was asleep, dumped in the laundry cart, and removed from the hotel and into our waiting van. We have his room still booked and still paying.
He is now bound to a wooden chair in the middle of an unfinished basement as the drugs begin to wear off. His ankles are zip-tied to the legs. His arms are secured in the same fashion by his wrists and elbows. Twist and turn as he may, he won’t be getting up from this chair.
He slowly blinks, trying to sort out what happened to him.
“Well, look who has decided to join the land of the living for a little while,” I greet him as he attempts to focus on me.
He shakes his head and pulls at his restraints while I look at my sharpened bowie knife. Then his eyes grow wide in fear as he watches me.
“Caroline Milton,” I say her name, and he narrows his gaze at me.
His overpriced suit pants are a wrinkled mess, and his fancy button-up shirt is pulling tightly against his chest as his breath quickens.
Going over, I slide my knife in between his shirt, sliding it down to pop all the buttons open. “You have a twisted history with her.”
“I thought … I thought … I thought she wasn’t tied to the club anymore,” he stutters at me.
“You had an agreement with the Hellions, an agreement you broke.”
I laugh as his pants darken at the crotch, and his pee runs off the chair. I stand behind him, pulling his head back against my stomach. Then I hold him firmly as I run my knife around his neck, applying just enough pressure to avoid breaking his skin.
“You collared her.” I trace around his neck yet again, this time piercing the skin just enough to draw a steady stream of blood. “Erectile dysfunction. You have trouble getting hard.” I run the flat part of my knife over his exposed chest. “Does that feel hard to you?”
While he weeps like a baby, as he pulls helplessly against the zip-ties holding him to the chair, I cut his shirt off him, quickly and ruthlessly.
Starting at his fingertips, I run my blade up his arm.
“You tied her to a cross.” I pierce the skin and watch the blood seep out.
“Collared.” I run the blade around his neck again, drawing another line of blood from him, deeper this time. Slowly, he will bleed out.
“Immobile.” I run my blade down his other arm.
“I didn’t know she … she didn’t want it.” His words are garbled in pain as he tries to swallow.
“Bullshit. You knew, but you have this sick, twisted way of thinking, don’t you? If you can’t get off, you’ll force her to get off. Shows what a man you still are, right?”
He sobs and tugs. Still, the ties hold him firmly in place.
“Masochist. You got off in your own way—on her humiliation, her lack of control.”
He doesn’t respond. He is numb in either pain or fear, although which one, I am not certain.
“How does it feel, Higgins?” I tap the wet crotch of his pants with my knife. “The inability to control what one does to your body, how does it feel? You want a hard cock? I could feed you mine right now.” I grab my jeans in reference.
“Nah, I’ll save that for Lux. She happily and greedily sucks me off. She gets herself off riding me.” Using my knife, I tip his head to look at me. “Ahhh … but you know that already, don’t you? I saw you watch us from the window in the living room. Did you enjoy the show? What was that like to see me not move one hand to help her as she climbed on my cock and rode me until she got what she wanted?
“Wanted,” I repeat, watching his eyes dance in the memories. “Wanted, say it with me.”
He tries to turn his head from me, so I stab my knife down into the top of his thigh.
“Wanted. Say it with me.”
“Wanted!” he cries out the word as I pull my knife from his leg.
Slowly, meticulously, I run my knife over his legs and at his crotch, and he trembles. “Funny how the human body works. Unless a man suffers from erectile dysfunction, such as yourself, even the ugliest of broads can work a penis until it is hard. The blood rushes to the member as each stroke passes. The skin tingles, the senses heighten, the balls tighten, and boom, you blow your load. Doesn’t matter if she’s hot or not. Females are the same way. Rub those pussy lips, flick her clit to bring the blood to the skin’s surface. The skin tingles, the senses heighten, the nub tightens, and boom!” I yell as I stab my knife straight down into his cock, all the way through to his balls.
He cries out before he vomits all over himself and me.
“The thing is, you sick fucker, it may take a little longer and be a little harder, but a woman can be forced to have an orgasm, too.”
I do not remove my knife as he hunches over in the chair, sobbing as he bleeds out, his blood mixing with his urine and vomit on the floor.
I want to gag at the smell. I want to gag at the man. I want to gag at the things Lux endured at his hands.
I look at my hands before I reach out and lift his head, forcing him to look at me. His eyes roll back in his head before coming to focus back on me.
“You couldn’t use your cock, but you used your hands to force her body to react. Today, with my hands, I end you. When I leave here, I go home, and I use these same hands to bring her pleasure after pleasure until you are no longer even a bad memory.”
He tries to shake his head out of my grasp.
“I get your appeal. She’s beautiful. She’s intelligent. She’s the total fuckin’ package. Thing is, Higgins, she was never yours. You owned her by a contract. She owns me by my balls because she has my heart.”
His head lolls as he loses more blood.
“Funny how the human body works, yes. Even funnier is how the human heart bleeds. Your heart physically bleeds out on this concrete floor for a little while until the reaper comes and steals your soul. My woman has bled out invisibly for years while the guilt and shame held her captive as these ties do today. My heart beats for her, my heart bleeds for her. You hold no power over her mind, her body, or her soul anymore. I’ll see you in Hell, fucker.”
I twist the knife in his crotch before I walk up the stairs and into the main part of the house. Going to the small bathroom, I shower, washing away the vomit and blood of Alvin Higgins. I wash the disgust of a worthless man down the drain. I wash my past failures off as I have insured he will not harm Lux again. I wash the shame of my shortcomings and the shame of her past down the simple two inch hole. When I leave here, life begins for us both.
No longer burdened by our pasts, we can begin again.
New love. New life. New ride.