Whiskey
~Caroline~
Kenna found me puking in the bathroom at work and sent me home for the day. If she only knew I didn’t have a virus like she thought. No, I had no guts to face my past or my boss.
Back home, my mind goes back.
Alvin Higgins, my once ‘employer.’ God, if Chad knows about that, he will definitely push harder for more from me. He just found all the leverage he needs to make me do anything he wants.
My doorbell ringing shakes me out of my memory. Looking at the clock, I can’t believe how much time has passed with me lost in my past. It is well past dark, well past dinner, and well past a reasonable hour for someone to visit me.
Looking out the peephole, on the other side of my door is Delilah. Quickly, I open the door for my close friend.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask as the worry builds inside me for my friend.
“Ice cream,” she simply states, raising a plastic bag.
She brushes past me as I shut the door and follow her to my kitchen. The pints are lined up on my counter as she searches the drawers for spoons.
“Chunky Monkey? Really, Delilah, you know me better.”
“Lux—” she starts, but I throw my hand up to stop her.
“Oh, no, don’t you even. I’m Caroline or Cola to you, but you do not call me Lux,” I reply firmly, reminding her of my nickname thanks to an auto-correct blunder during a text once that changed my name to cola.
“Right now, you are being the ‘deluxe’ model. It’s ice cream. Who doesn’t love some Cherry Garcia?” she asks, smiling and holding up the pint of flavored goodness.
“I’m sure plenty of people love all that … just not me. Vanilla Bean Haagan Dazs is the only ice cream I eat, and you know this.”
“Walk on the wild side, Lux,” she jokes, wiggling her eyebrows at me.
“Oh, Delilah. If only it was so simple,” I sigh. “Why are you really here at almost ten at night?”
“You didn’t answer anyone’s calls. I tried, Rex tried, Sass tried, and even Kenna. We know you left work early, and we were worried.”
Scooping up the container of chunky frozen treat, I walk over to my couch. I eye the container like it could somehow swallow me up and save me from my friend’s speculative stare.
How do I tell Delilah all my secrets? I am not who she thinks I am or who I was or … I don’t know. Hell, who am I?
“Talk to me, Caroline.”
“Don’t know what to say, Delilah.”
“You say, I need some help. I got a double decker douchebag at work harassing me. That would be a start,” she responds sarcastically, like it is so easy.
“Okay, I have a double decker douchebag at work bothering me,” I repeat her words with a snarky tone. “I can handle it, though.”
“Yeah, looks like you’re handling it so well.”
As I twist the spoon in the softening ice cream without eating any of it, Delilah’s small hand reaches out and squeezes my wrist before dropping it.
“Come on, we’re friends. Let me help you, even if it’s just to listen. Kenna had some trouble in the past with Chad, so I know he has a history, Caroline. Now tell me what he is doing to you that has you tied in knots. This is your dream job, yet you aren’t happy. I’ve never seen you so on edge. I’ve never seen you so shaken and not confident.”
I hang my head in shame. Am I that transparent? I look at the ice cream melting, revealing the bumpy contents mixed beneath. This is a prime example of my world right now. The exterior is melting away, revealing all the bumps in my past. Everything I have tried to cover up is close to being exposed, and I don’t have the first clue what to do about it.
“You can tell me anything, Caroline. I’m not one to judge. I’m your friend no matter what.”
I bark out a half laugh. “My entire future has fallen apart.”
“Because of this Chad guy? Look, Caroline, I know Kenna had something happen with him. Tripp can talk to Jake and find out what really happened. Obviously, he has a pattern of pestering the women he works with. Let Tripp, Rex, and the Hellions help you.”
“Yeah,” I laugh rudely at her. “If something happened to Kenna, why haven’t your badass Hellions done anything before now?”
“Watch yourself, Caroline. That’s my family you are challenging. My. Entire. Family.”
I drop my head in defeat. I don’t mean to be a bitch, but I don’t see what her so called family can do for me.
“We live by a code, Caroline. One that is hard for an outsider to understand. Jake isn’t patched in. Kenna and Jake are family, but we can’t offer club protection or retaliation.”
Protection. Retaliation. While my head spins, I look at my long-time friend like she has two heads, and she giggles like this is normal conversation. Oh, what are you having for dinner? Lasagna with a side of vengeance. What the hell is this motorcycle club stuff really?
“Stop overthinking everything. We’re family and we protect what’s ours. We offered to back Jake up, but you gotta know, with his military career, we can’t step in too much.”
“Delilah, stop talking. You’re making crazy mob thoughts pop in my head.” I shake my head, trying to clear my crazy mind from racing.
“Don’t act like you don’t know. You’re intelligent and not blind to my lifestyle.”
I frown at her. I am not oblivious, but I don’t want to know all of this, either.
She reaches out and smacks my thigh. “I get it, Caroline. You are innocent, naïve in a way to a lot of what goes on in my world, but you aren’t stupid.”
“I don’t want to put out a ‘hit’ on Chad,” I spit out before I even realize what I am saying, and Delilah laughs at me.
“First, we wouldn’t put a ‘hit’ on Chad. Stop watching so much TV. The boys will just make it known you ride with us and are protected by us.”
“He doesn’t come from your world, either. He doesn’t have to follow your code.”
“No, he doesn’t, but come on, if a guy like Rex makes one visit to him, a pussy like Chad will back off.”
Tears fill my eyes. Yeah, he might back off … after he shares all of my secrets with anyone who will listen. I will be blacklisted in my profession. He is my immediate supervisor; therefore, he is the person to give my reference if I were to try to get another job. Rex stepping in will be just the thing to push him over the edge to ruin me completely. Now, more than ever, I need the Hellions to back off.
“I’ve faced worse than Chad Stillwell. I have it under control,” I state firmly.
When her phone chimes with a text message, she smiles at whatever came across the screen.
“It’s late. I’m good. Go home to your man.”
She frowns at me, her eyes searching mine for something. I am not sure what, though.
“There is more to this than you are telling me. Cola, I’m here for you. There is nothing you can’t tell me.”
“One day, Doll, one day.”
Her eyes dance as I use her nickname rather than her actual name like I normally do.
“It’s not so bad on the ‘wrong’ side of the tracks, ya know,” she adds with a wink as she gets up and takes her empty ice cream container to the trash.
If she only knew what side of the tracks I truly came from. If they all only knew.
She pauses at my door as I follow her out.
“Secrets always find a way to come out. Nothing is ever really buried, forgotten, or hidden forever, but we can help you, Caroline. No matter what it is, we can help you.” Without another word, she leaves and doesn’t look back as I stand in my open doorway, taking in her last statement.
~Rex~
Tapping my hand on the bar, I signal for Corinne to give me another whiskey straight. The liquid burns going all the way down to the pit of my stomach. Looking around Ruthless, my head spins, and not from the alcohol.
Finishing the drink, I slam the glass down on the bar harshly. Corinne immediately serves me another with a look that clearly shows she understands tonight I need to drown in every drink I can get.
Boomer idles up to me, climbing on the stool beside me as I down yet another one. He reaches out and grabs the glass just as Corinne places the next one in front of me.
He drinks, quickly shaking his head as the alcohol hits him, burning its way down to the pits of his insides. I eye him in warning not to take my next drink as I slap the bar again.
“Rex,” he begins.
I hold up my hand to stop him. “Don’t, Boomer. Don’t think you know what I’m doing. Don’t think you know what I’m thinking. Just don’t talk. You’re welcome to sit here and drink with me in silence, but that’s it.”
“I’m not one to watch a brother sit back and drown, and I’m definitely not one to keep my mouth shut when someone I know is lost. You got frustrations, Rex. Understandably so. Pound that out in easy pussy, not by pounding away the drinks. That only leads to a hangover.” With that, he slides off the stool, nodding at Purple Pussy Pamela who immediately makes her way to him. They take off to the back.
The back. The stockroom is in the back. The stockroom where Shep got to Tessie. Why the fuck do I keep coming back to Ruthless?
Feeling like the walls are closing in on me, I get up and stagger my way out of the building. As I step outside, the fresh air assaults my nose like an awakening. It’s too late to go back. With a shift in the wind or maybe I am so drunk I feel like the wind is blowing around me, Pop’s voice plays in my head like a recording.
Can’t change what’s already been done once it’s done, boys. You’re gonna make mistakes, and it’s gonna hurt to learn from them. But hurting brings on healing, boys. What hurts the most, what you feel the most that is what you carry with you. Sometimes, life will bring you to your knees, but how you pick yourself up off the ground determines the kind of man you are.
While I look over my shoulder at the shack we call a bar, my knees feel weak, like they are going to buckle under my weight both physically and emotionally. I blow out a breath as I try to stay upright.
Noise beside me causes me to turn my head. Keri, a skinny, blonde barfly is making her way over to me.
Boldly, she reaches out and cups the crotch of my jeans. “You look lost, Rex. Let me help you find a home for that dinosaur in your pants,” she flirts with me.
My own words coming back at me only make my stomach churn.
The jokes, the carefree way I have lived my life to this point, all eat at me. Nothing feels right anymore, nothing feels normal.
I look down at the girl in front of me, and she licks her lip, making my dick stir. The whiskey adds to the blur of thoughts in my mind. I just want to feel something, anything right now.
“Oh I’ve got a dinosaur in my pants. Think you can handle it, huh? I may have to taste that tight cunt of yours before I release the beast.”
I grab Keri by the hand. Sure, I fucked her once, maybe a year ago or so, and this isn’t the first time she has tried to get a round two with me. Usually, I don’t do repeat performances. Tonight, however, she is willing and I am able, so I am going to give her exactly what she is asking for.
She stumbles as I guide her around the back corner of the building. I hear the whoops and catcalls of my brothers who are outside as I sloppily push her into the wall.
Without allowing myself to think, I crash my lips to hers in a fierce kiss. Our teeth clank as she battles to keep up with the force of my tongue, mouth, and my mind. My hands pull at the sides of her shirt, and I feel the material pull and tear before I can yank my mouth off hers to remove the barrier keeping me from her now exposed breasts.
I wipe the spit from my chin that our kiss caused as I drop my head and bite her nipple before sucking harshly. She cries out and arches into me as the pain and pleasure mix lights her body up.
“Rex, ooowwww.”
I know I am rough, but I am too inebriated to slow down or hold back.
I yank at the button on her jean shorts. When I can’t get it undone, I bite her side by her ribs in frustration, and she trembles at the harsh assault.
I run my hand up the inside of her thigh, and without warning, I push my way up the leg of her shorts, moving her panties to the side before I thrust two fingers inside her. She stills around me at the sudden invasion, her nails digging into my shoulders as she holds on.
I slide them out to push back into her drenched pussy, making her clinch around my digits as she tries to rock into my hand. Then I bite down on her stomach before licking my way up her body. At her neck, I suck hard, knowing I am marking her.
“More, give me more.”
“So eager to be devoured. You like to be the prey.” I whisper in her ear, breathing heavily down her neck.
I pull my fingers out and step back so she can fight with the button on her shorts. I grab at my crotch. My dick is only semi-hard, but fuck it.
She is naked against the side of the bar as I unbutton my jeans. I stand back, using the fingers I just removed from her pussy, the fingers still glistening with her juices, to point at my cock.
“Suck it to life.”
Eagerly, she drops to her knees, the concrete most likely cutting her delicate skin.
To my right, I can hear my brothers talking amongst themselves. Yeah, they can see us, but I don’t give a fuck as long as I get off.
Her lips brush my dick softly.
Grabbing her head, I guide it to face my crotch. “Suck it, don’t play with it.”
She opens her mouth, taking me to the back of her throat. She sucks, licks, even bites, and I have nothing. In fact, my semi-erect cock is now a limp excuse for an appendage.
Yanking her off me, I push back to tuck my dick in my pants and button them. She is on her knees, naked and staring at me, completely lost as to what has gone wrong.
Frustrated, drunk, and confused, I punch the wall behind her. My knuckles crack at the impact, and blood drips down my hand. I feel nothing, though.
She gets up then runs her hand up my arm. “It’s okay, Rex. Whiskey dick, ya know. It happens.”
I shove her off and take off to my bike. Drinking and driving. Tripp will have my ass, Roundman will have my ass, and who the hell knows the pavement may have my ass. I don’t give a fuck.
Whiskey dick, my ass. My problem isn’t whiskey dick; my problem is I am a dick.