After days in the island heat, an unavoidable sunburn, and hours of crying, I’m dehydrated by the time I get to Jon and Livvy’s loft early Saturday morning. In the room next to the guest room, my two nieces are sound asleep in their respective cribs. Even after the absolute shit-day I had, I think I’ll probably sleep like a baby once my head hits a pillow.

“Here,” Livvy whispers, tapping me on the shoulder. After handing me a glass of water, she puts her arms around me and hugs me for the third time since I walked in. “I love you, Max,” she says softly, “but wake them and die.”

I laugh lightly and nod, walking back into the room they’re giving me for the night. I hear the door to the girls’ room click shut behind me. Both Liv and my brother follow me into the room.

“You okay?” Jon asks as I plug in my cell phone, which had died sometime on the flight.

“I think I have everything I need. Blanket, pillow. I’m good.”

“Not about that, Mascot,” my sister-in-law says, taking a seat next to me on the bed.

“Fuck him,” I mutter.

Jon shakes his head, looking disappointed.

“How could he?” Livvy asks.

“Maybe he just can’t help himself,” I respond. “Maybe he’s always been this way and he’s just been on his best behavior for two years. Maybe this newfound freedom just allowed him to show his true colors. It’s probably best to find out now rather than after we get to California.”

“You’re still going to Long Beach, though, right? You’re still going to college.” His second sentence is a statement.

“Of course, I am, Jon.” I roll my eyes at any implication that I wouldn’t go. “Yeah, I picked a college in California because of him, but I loved the school when we toured. I’d pick it again without him… and, like, I guess that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“Good,” he says, patting my shoulder.

“I just mean it’s better that he cheats on me now, when I can find out, rather than when we’re away at school and he can do it behind my back… you know, when I’d be none the wiser, right?”

“It’s just so out of character, you know?” Livvy asks.

“He cheated on Brin.”

“That’s different.”

“That’s what Trey says, but it’s really not, is it?” I look between the two of them for an honest response. I get shrugs from both of them, but Jon finally says something.

“He loves you, Max. He never had any feelings for Brinlee. I know that… that’s different.”

“Well, whatever his motivation. He still cheated,” I assert.

My phone rings loudly. I answer it quickly without even looking to see who’s calling, meeting Livvy’s severe glare and hoping Edie and Willow didn’t hear the profanity-laced rap song that’s my ringtone.

“Hello?” I get ready to hang up on Callen.

“Buddy? It’s Will. Are you okay?”

“It’s Will,” I tell Jon and Livvy, covering up the mic. “Did you tell him?”

They both shake their heads. “Take your pain pills. Get a good night’s sleep,” my oldest brother tells me on the way out. “Turn off your ringer.”

“’kay.”

“Where are you?” Will asks.

“At the loft. I just got in a few minutes ago. Why?”

“Are you doing all right?”

“What do you know?”

“I know, okay?”

I sit in silence, angry. “Callen called you?” I always loved that Will and Callen had such a close relationship–until now. This can only be problematic going forward.

“Yeah. He’s worried about you.”

“Biggest lie of the millennium.”

“It’s not, Max. How’s your hand?”

“Cut up and bruised and it hurts pretty fucking bad.”

“I bet it does. Did you get some good drugs for it?”

“Well, they haven’t knocked me unconscious or made the pain Callen’s caused me go away, so I guess not,” I tell him sarcastically.

“Why’d you punch a window, man?”

“Because his face wasn’t anywhere near me.”

“Max, you’re not typically the violent one. I’ve never known you to throw punches.”

“Crimes of passion are real and alive, Will.”

“How’d you find out?”

“Are you just going to go feed this intel back to him?”

“Mascot, come on. I’m here for you. I’m always on your side, first and foremost. I just want to know what happened. I’m trying to put it all together. I won’t tell him anything you don’t want him to know.”

“I don’t want him to even know we spoke,” I tell him. “I know I can’t keep you two from talking, but I want our conversations to stay between us. Got it?”

“Understood. Thanks for understanding the position I’m in.”

I still consider my response before I finally tell him. He’s the person I trust most in the world. “I walked back to a shower stall… and found his swim trunks on the floor with some other guy’s and I heard them fucking.”

“So… you could have broken it up?”

“Just seeing their feet was enough to enrage me, Will. Had I seen any more than that, I don’t know what I would have done.”

“Well, I doubt you would have hit anyone,” he counters. “Crimes of passion happen in the moment… it would have happened right there. You’re not a fighter. You’re scrappy as hell. You talk a good game… but you care too much about him to hurt him. So, you hurt yourself instead.”

“Don’t read into it,” I argue. “Like I said, he just wasn’t in my line of sight.”

“Whatever, Mascot. I’m sorry you hurt yourself. You’re still gonna be able to play bass in the family band when we’re old and gray, though, right?”

“If you ever come back and finish teaching me,” I say with a chuckle, then a sigh. “When are you back?”

“Just two more months... I should be home that weekend before you go off to school. Jon and I were going to drive down with you guys.”

The nagging lump that had been in my throat most of the day comes back at that thought. Callen and I had already rented a truck big enough for all of our things. The cross-country trek was our next big adventure together, and it was never going to happen now.

“I’ll have to hire my own moving van or something. I don’t have much to move, anyway. It was mostly his shit.”

“Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll handle it all.”

“Callen’ll have to drive all the way to California alone.” And just as I feel sad for him, I get angry again. “Fuck him.”

“You guys will be leaving around the same time anyway. Maybe we’ll all go together, but separate–”

“If you want to help him, Will, fuck you, too.”

“Max, come on. Don’t be mad at me. If you don’t want that, it’ll just be the three of us. Maybe his parents can come back from Europe early to help him.”

“Don’t care.”

“You do.”

“I don’t. I can’t. I hate him,” I cry, unable to hold back the tears. “I hate what he did to me.”

“Oh, Buddy,” he says. “I hate what he did to you, too. And since I don’t mind throwing a punch or two, I just might remind him to never, ever mess with my brother again the next time I see him. I just can’t do it in front of Shea, or she’ll kill me, and it can’t be any harder than I’d ever hit you or Jon.”

“You gave Jon a black eye, remember?”

“A black eye never killed anyone.” I smile and acknowledge his statement with a huff. “You just have to understand that you made me care for him like a brother, too, Max. I’m pissed as hell at him, but he’s still like family to me. We’ve been through too much.”

“I told you, I’m not going to ask you to stop talking to him. I just don’t wanna know about it.”

“I got it. And I’d never betray your trust, Mascot. I want you to know that. I respect you more than you’ll ever know. You’re being really grown up about this.”

“Twenty-seven stitches grown up?” I ask him.

“You damaged property and yourself. You didn’t involve any police. You’re considering everyone else’s feelings–even his. I’d say you’re being pretty fucking grown up.”

“I miss you so much, Will.”

“Man, I miss you, too, little brother. I’d give you a big hug if I was there.”

“Thanks.”

“Now do me a favor. Just take the prescribed dose only of whatever the doctors gave you. Okay?”

“I’m pissed and I’m sad, but I’m not suicidal, Will. This is me we’re talking about.”

“I know. Okay.”

“I have to live to see you deck him.”

He laughs loudly into the phone. “As long as you’ve got something to live for.”

“I’ve got lots to live for, Will. Callen’s just not on that list anymore.”

“Glad to hear you’ve got a long list, Mascot. I love you. Call me tomorrow night and let me know how much fucking pain you’re in. I’ll be the only one with strong enough sensibilities to withstand your language, trust me. It’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker.”

“I promise, I’ll call you. Love you, too, Will.”