Chapter 3

Sam resisted the urge to wipe his sweaty palms on his jeans again. She probably thought he had some kind of weird physical condition because his palms were sweating so much. She was really cute in a girl-next-door kind of way, with her long, brown hair, pug nose, and freckles. Just the kind of girl he used to go for. Trust King to pick the perfect one. Too bad Sam was so nervous there was no way in hell he was going to be able to perform tonight. Not with her or anyone else. He’d been giving King looks and shaking his head and everything else he could think of to let him know the deal was off, but King was ignoring him, chatting Jane up as if they were old friends. King had a knack for that. Sam was shit at small talk.

“I’m a nurse,” she said in response to a question from King. “Trauma, like the emergency room, you know?”

“Wow,” King said, clearly impressed. Sam was impressed, too. “How long?”

“Are you trying to find out if I’m legal?” she said with a grin, teasing them. Damn if she didn’t have dimples. Of course.

“No offense,” King said, putting his hands together as if he were praying, with a little bow in her direction, “but you don’t look that young.”

“You got me,” she said with an unself-conscious laugh. She seemed pretty straightforward. Sam liked that about her, too. He wasn’t so great at figuring people out, with their secret signals and obscure body language. Just say it if you had something to say was his motto. “I’ve been nursing for about six years. What about you guys? How long have you been playing football? And this is the part where I confess that while I’ve heard of the Rebels, I know nothing about them. Or about football. Sorry.”

Sam breathed a sigh of relief. He’d been approached by groupies before and he didn’t like them. They were pushy and a lot of them wanted hard, rough sex. He didn’t want to go there, because he was afraid it would trigger something. He felt like a ticking time bomb around those women. Jane wasn’t giving off those vibes at all.

“I’ve been playing since high school,” King told her. “I played college ball at Florida, and a few seasons on other NFL teams before I signed with the Rebels.”

There was a long pause and Sam glanced over to see both Jane and King staring at him. “Oh, sorry,” he said, feeling stupid because he’d missed his cue again. “I played college ball for Army, West Point, then I went into the military.”

“So you came back from your tour and entered the draft?” she asked. “How does that work?”

“No, I was drafted before I went, by the Cowboys. When I came back, they traded me to the Rebels. They thought I was too old and too banged up to play, but the Rebels needed bodies on the field, and so here I am.”

“That’s bullshit, brah,” King said mildly. “You’re a good player. If you weren’t, they wouldn’t have signed you.”

Sam laughed. “This is the Rebels, King,” he said. “You and I both know they’ve taken on the worst the NFL has to offer. With a few notable exceptions, including you. I still can’t believe you chose the Rebels. I know you had better offers.”

“I wanted to come here,” King said in his straight-up way. “I thought it would be fun, a new team, a new place, starting from scratch. Right? Exciting, man.” He was nodding, agreeing with himself. “Haven’t looked back.”

“Only you,” Sam said, laughing again. He looked at Jane. “He means it. I bet he turned down a half-dozen offers that were higher than Birmingham because he thought it would be fun.” He shook his head.

“I like his attitude,” Jane said, linking her arm with King’s. “If you don’t love it, don’t do it. Life’s too short.”

Just then a firework went off, surprising Sam. He slammed his back against the front of the building they were walking past, reaching for his weapon, searching for the source of an attack out of pure instinct. His heart was pounding. For just a second, Sam was transported back to Afghanistan, on that awful day, on that godforsaken mountain road, watching Richie die. He took a deep breath and held it for a second before letting it out, the way the therapist had told him to. “Orange Beach,” he said, trying to hold the panic at bay. Another firework went off and he flinched. “I’m in Orange Beach.”

“Sam?” King was there, holding on to Sam’s upper arm. “You all right?” Another firework went off and Sam flinched again.

“Yeah.” His head cleared. “Yeah,” he said. “Right.” His voice was shaky. Did they hear it? He couldn’t even remember what they’d been talking about.

Suddenly Jane’s hand was holding his. “I guess you didn’t know about the fireworks,” she said softly. “It affects lots of veterans the same way.” She pulled him down the sidewalk and he let her, trying to block out the sound of the fireworks. “We’re here,” she said a few moments later. Sam looked up at the hotel in surprise. He hadn’t even noticed it.

“Let’s not say good night yet,” King said. “How about we grab something to drink at the bar?”

Both Sam and Jane were shaking their heads before he’d even finished speaking. “No more bars,” Jane said with a shudder.

“What she said,” Sam added. He knew he was shooting himself in the foot. God knows, if he was going to sleep with someone, he’d love it to be Jane. She was cute and sexy and funny. What his mom always called a “nice girl.” Sam had a soft spot for nice girls. But it just wasn’t meant to be. Especially now that she thought he was a basket case after those stupid-ass fireworks.

“Okay,” King said. “How about we grab a drink and sit out by the pool?”

“I think it’s closed,” Jane said, peering over his shoulder as if she could see the pool from the street.

“I don’t mean to swim,” King said. “Just a quiet place to sit and talk. Yeah, Sam?”

“Sure,” Sam said slowly, giving King the “It’s over” look again. “Just to sit and talk, yeah.”

“Oh,” Jane said, looking surprised. “Well, okay. That sounds good.”

King led the way to the bar and they all ordered a beer. Sam knew he could nurse one of those all night. They followed King again when he headed for the pool.

“How about here?” King asked, stopping by a table in a secluded corner. They were facing away from the direction of the fireworks.

“As long as they don’t start blowing things up again I’m good here,” Sam said, pulling out a chair for Jane. She looked at it in surprise before she sat down.

“Thanks. I don’t remember the last time a man pulled out a chair for me. Well, a man who wasn’t my father,” she amended with a big smile.

“You have seriously been hanging out with the wrong kind of men,” King told her.

“Clearly,” she responded fervently. “Since you two seem to be the right kind, maybe you can tell me where your secret hideout is.”

Sam sputtered with laughter, choking on a drink of beer. “That means we’d have to teach you the secret handshake,” he said, after he stopped laughing.

“And?” she asked, her voice filled with anticipation.

“It’s against the rules,” Sam said sadly, shaking his head. “No girls allowed in the Batcave.”

“Batman sucks,” she said, and Sam and King both laughed.

They’d been sitting there talking for a while, about everything from Jane’s crazy Southern family to King’s traditional Samoan tattoos, when King blindsided Sam.

“Captain America can take Ironman any day of the week,” Jane was saying after the conversation cycled back to superheroes. “Not only that, but he’s definitely the only Avenger with decent boyfriend potential.”

“What?” Sam said with a laugh. “What does that even mean?”

“Well, he loved Peggy Carter, right? He didn’t get with another girl until after she died. That was, like, eighty years with no sex. And he was probably a virgin, too. I mean, they only kissed once. That’s loyalty.”

“You want loyalty in a boyfriend?” Sam asked skeptically. “It sounds like you want a German shepherd, not a boyfriend.”

“I’m just saying that that’s the kind of devotion a girl is looking for in a man,” Jane argued.

“Not having sex isn’t necessarily devotion,” Sam told her honestly. “He’s a soldier, right? Who the hell knows what’s going on in his head. Shit, that Red Skull would shrivel anybody’s dick, not to mention the whole crashing the plane into the Arctic and being frozen thing.”

“Sam hasn’t had sex since he got back from Afghanistan,” King said suddenly. Jane had been sucking on the lime that came with her beer, but at King’s comment she slowly lowered it and stared at Sam.

“No shit?” she said. “How long is that?”

“Just a few years,” Sam mumbled, glaring at King. “It’s no big deal.”

“Ouch,” she said with a wince. “Did you have a genital injury?” At Sam’s horrified look she blushed. “Sorry. Nurse. It just slipped out.”

“No,” Sam said firmly. He decided to shoot from the hip. “But my head’s messed up. I was injured, IED, and some of my team died. It screwed with my head, that’s all.” He was glaring at King. “I’m worried I might lose my shit if I get all, you know, into it and stuff.”

Jane was listening carefully, watching him, and he could feel himself blushing. “Has it happened before?” she asked. “You know, losing your shit in bed?”

“I had nightmares when I got out of the hospital,” he said stiffly.

“Hmm,” she said. She looked like she was thinking. “What does your therapist say?”

“I don’t have one.” It was her turn to look horrified, and he backtracked. “I did have one. But since I moved to Birmingham, I haven’t found a new one. I talk with my old one on the phone every couple of months. An Army doctor.”

“Is there a VA where you live?” she asked. “You should go there. They have support groups and stuff. You know, people who get what you’re going through.”

“See?” King said. “I told you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sam said, suddenly very tired. “I will.” He was surprised when Jane leaned over and laid her hand gently over his. He felt that soft, warm touch in places it wasn’t meant to go and he felt like a perv. Jane wasn’t trying to come on to him.

“For what it’s worth, you don’t act like the kind of guy who loses his shit,” she said softly, with a little smile. She leaned back in her chair before the moment got awkward. “Trust me, I’ve seen plenty in the ER. Homeless vets, or just some mentally ill people who don’t qualify for state-run institutions.”

“Thanks,” Sam said, and he meant it.

“We actually came down here to get him laid,” King told her, like he was talking about the weather.

“Not cool, man,” Sam quickly said.

“What?” King shrugged. “It’s not going to happen anyway, right?”

“Why not?” Jane asked. “The weekend’s not over yet.” She sounded curious, but that was it. Not into him at all, just as Sam had suspected. And who could blame her? He was clearly fucked-up in the head.

“Not the way King planned it,” he said, sounding more upset than he wanted to be.

“How he planned it?” Jane repeated. “That sounds kinky.”

“Oh, man,” King said with a shake of his head. “Now you’ve got her thinking we’re into weird shit.” He turned to Jane. “I just promised him that I’d stay in the room, in case he lost his shit, you know? That’s all. Not like I’d join in or anything. Like a bodyguard, right?”

Jane’s eyes had gotten big. “So you’d watch him have sex with a woman?” she asked slowly.

“Yeah,” King said. “Not like in a sick way. Just as a friend.”

Jane snorted with laughter and then doubled over as she began laughing even harder. Sam felt his blush from his shirt collar to his shaved head. He slid down in his seat, wishing the ground would swallow him up.

“Not the reaction I was expecting,” King said, watching her with a smile.

She shook her head and bit her lip trying to stop laughing. “Hey, babe,” she said in a deep voice. “King wants to watch us do it. But just as a friend.” She snorted again. “Priceless.”

“You don’t think that will work?” King asked.

“Oh, it’ll work,” she said, grinning.

“What?” Sam sat up in his chair, sure he’d heard her wrong.

“Please,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Some girl gets to strut her stuff for the two of you? They’re going to be standing in line. Trust me on this. You’re wasting your time sitting around here with me. Go back to the bar and I guarantee you’ll find a girl tonight. You’ll find five if you want them.”

“Would you?” King asked. Sam felt like a complete idiot, sitting there with his heart in his throat, not even able to take a deep breath.

“Would I what?” Jane asked, oblivious. “Go back to the bar and find you five girls?”

“I don’t want five girls,” Sam blurted out. “I want you.”

Jane was sucking on her lime again and choked. King thumped her on the back and she waved him away. “Excuse me?” she rasped, looking a little panicked as she stared at Sam.

“Never mind,” he mumbled, looking away.

“What he means is, would you sleep with him with me in the room?” King asked.

“That’s unfair, putting her on the spot like that,” Sam said sharply.

“Are you asking in a hypothetical way?” Jane asked. “Or, you know, actually asking? If I’d like to sleep with him? With you? There?” She wasn’t looking at either one of them when she asked. Sam turned wide eyes to her, not sure where her head was at. She sounded nervous more than excited about the idea.

“Whichever you want it to be,” King said, and Sam’s heart started pounding in his chest as she finally turned to him. Suddenly he was afraid of what she might say.

“You don’t have to answer,” Sam said quickly. “Really. I’m sorry we even brought it up. It was a stupid idea from the start. Seriously. I never thought I’d find anyone I wanted to sleep with, or that we’d actually ask someone. It’s stupid. Forget it.”

“You want to sleep with me?” she asked incredulously.

“Hell, yeah,” Sam said without hesitation. “I’ve had a hard time thinking about anything else since we met you.”

“Really?” She shook her head. “Sorry. It’s just…I liked you from the start, but I didn’t think you were into me.”

“It’s this whole idea,” Sam said miserably. Finding out she liked him only made the situation worse. What must she think of him now?

“So you don’t want King there?” Jane asked, after a short hesitation.

“If he’s not there I don’t think I can…you know,” Sam said, determined to be honest. “I want to be with you, but I don’t know what will happen.”

“So you can do it with him in the room?” She was blushing, which was making Sam breathless. Was she actually considering it?

“I don’t know,” Sam said, frustrated. “I’ve never done anything like that before.” He turned to King, unsure.

“No big deal, right?” King said with shrug.

“So you’ve done this sort of thing before? Watched people have sex?” Jane seemed very interested in his answer.

“No,” King said. “But there’s a first time for everything, right?” His grin was infectious, but Sam didn’t smile. He was too nervous. His palms were sweaty again.

“You don’t seem too enthusiastic about the whole idea,” Sam said to Jane.

She shook her head and laughed nervously. “Okay, I’m trying to be cool, but holy shit, I’ve never done anything like that before. I mean had sex with another guy in the room watching. That’s way outside my comfort zone. This is where I should probably tell you that I’m the nice girl.”

“What does that mean? The nice girl?” King asked.

“It means I’m the Goody Two-shoes who tattled on everyone else, and who teachers held up as a shining example. Breaking the rules is not in my DNA.”

“So that’s a no?” Sam said, more disappointed than he thought he’d be. He’d known it was a stupid idea and it was never going to work. But at least his radar was still working. He always went for the good girls.

“No, it’s not a no,” Jane said. She covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide. After a second she pulled her hand away and grinned. “I just said that, didn’t I?” she whispered, looking guilty and excited.

“Yep,” King said. Sam was ready to grab her hand and drag her up to his room.

She laughed breathlessly as she looked between Sam and King. “Oh my God. You are so hot. Are you sure you don’t want to go back to the bar and look for someone else? Someone who, you know, has done this before?”

“Nope,” Sam said, grinning back. “You’re the only one I want.”

“Wow. Okay.” She blew out a breath, her eyes wide. “Give me a second to process this.”

“Like, how much time?” King said. He shrugged at Sam’s look. “What? We’ve only got tonight, right? And it’s”—he paused and looked at his watch—“twelve thirty. I was trying to get an idea.”

Instead of being angry, Jane laughed again. “Okay. I mean, yes. I’m good. It’s processed.” She bounced in her chair a little, clearly nervous. “Shouldn’t we be overwhelmed with lust? If we’re going to do this, I mean.”

“I am,” Sam admitted. Once he stood up she’d see for herself. “Honestly, just the idea that I might be able to have you tonight has me so turned on it’s almost painful. And it feels good.” He laughed. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way. Even if this doesn’t happen, I’m glad I got to experience this rush again. But, for you, I guess it’s hard to get excited about a guy with my issues. I get it.” He was disappointed she wasn’t as turned on as he was, but he couldn’t blame her.

“You’re kidding, right?” Jane asked. “I mean, you’re hotter than shit, even with that hair. Did you lose a bet, by the way? I’ve been meaning to ask.”

“I told you,” Sam said, pointing at King. “I’m not letting you talk me into shit again, man.”

“I got us here, didn’t I?” King asked with a grin. “You’re about to get laid by a hot mama, brah. That’s all me.”

“Well, Sam did have something to do with it,” Jane said with another breathless, husky laugh, and Sam’s heart skipped a beat. “Although you’re pretty easy on the eyes, too,” she added for King. She covered her face with her hands as she laughed. He’d noticed that she did both when she was nervous. “I can’t believe I’m going to do this. This is like porn-star stuff.”

“It’s just straight sex,” Sam assured her, alarmed at where this was going. “I mean, just you and me. Not like a threesome.”

She peeked between her fingers at King. “You don’t want to?” she asked. She lowered her hands, waiting for an answer. Sam didn’t know what to think of her question. Did that mean she wanted to?

“I’m not crazy,” King said with a big laugh. “You’re hot all right, inside and out. I’d be grateful to be with a woman like you.” He shook his head. “But this was for Sam tonight.”

“Thanks,” she said, clearly not sure how to react. “Sam?” she asked. He wasn’t sure what she was asking.

“I never thought about it,” he said, hedging. “I mean, I haven’t been able to have sex with one person. Two people seems like pro ball when I’m still an amateur.” Jane laughed and he relaxed.

“Yeah, maybe we need to get you out of your slump before we start throwing fastballs at you,” she agreed. “Not that I can throw a fastball.”

“Wrong sport,” Sam said with a lopsided grin.

“I told you I don’t know anything about football,” she said with a helpless look.

“That’s okay,” King said, standing up. “You’re about to learn a lot about football players.”