Chapter 13

Sam looked over at the door in surprise when he heard the heavy knocking. He glanced at the time. Eleven o’clock. Who the hell was coming over at eleven? He was going to kick someone’s ass. He watched as King walked over to get it.

“You expecting someone?” he asked King.

“Nope.” King didn’t sound particularly upset. Not much threw him off.

When he opened the door, he stood there, a look of shock on his face. Sam couldn’t see the door, and he stood up, alarmed at King’s reaction.

“You came,” King said.

“Don’t just stand there. Let me in.” Jane’s voice shocked Sam immobile. King stepped out of the way and she walked in, peering at Sam. “Hey,” she said, blushing.

“Hey,” he said back, too surprised to come up with anything original.

“So, you called,” Jane said. “A lot. And here I am.”

“How did you get my address?” Sam asked. He shook his head in disbelief. Jane shows up at his door and that’s the first question he can think of?

She waved a thumb in King’s direction. “He gave it to me earlier tonight. In case I decided to come over and see you guys.”

“He did?” Sam closed his mouth. He wasn’t going to talk anymore if he couldn’t say something that wasn’t stupid.

“I did,” King admitted. “I just didn’t think she’d show, or I would have told you.”

“Yeah,” Jane said, wandering around his apartment, looking at his stuff. “About that. I guess I’ve been sort of giving off mixed signals.”

“You could say that,” King agreed. “But you weren’t expecting us.”

She laughed. “Ho, boy, that’s an understatement.” She’d made a circle and came back to stand in front of King again. She stuffed her hands in the back pockets of her cutoffs and bent one knee. The pose was classic tomboy, and Sam was charmed despite his shock at her sudden appearance. She looked nervous. Sam could relate. “Seeing you again really wasn’t in my plans.”

“Sorry to ruin that for you,” Sam said. He was surprised by the hurt and anger in his tone.

“No, I’m sorry,” Jane said, blowing out an exasperated breath. “That was my issue and had nothing to do with you guys.” She gestured to the couch. “Can I sit down?”

“Oh, yeah,” King said. “Bad manners. I was just so glad to see you I forgot them.”

Jane smiled as she walked over. “Nobody worries about manners anymore, didn’t you know? It’s a free-for-all.”

“Don’t get him started on what’s wrong with the world today,” Sam warned. “He’s got a list.”

“Don’t we all,” Jane said wearily. She fell on the couch more than sat down on it.

“No manners is the root of most of it,” King said, nodding. “Can I get you something?”

“A water? I already had a beer earlier, so I don’t think another would be a good idea.”

“Coming up,” King said, heading to the kitchen. “Sam?”

“Nothing for me,” he said, slowly sitting down on the big chair beside the couch.

“Sam,” Jane said, meeting his eyes. He could tell it was hard for her. She was blushing furiously. “You have to know this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.”

He groaned and let his head fall back on the seat. “Great. This is the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ speech.”

“No, no,” she said quickly. “I mean yes, but not like that. Look, I’m really embarrassed about how I acted that night with you guys. I can only imagine what you think of me. But it was a chance to be wild and crazy, you know? And I never did that before. And then to have you show up at the hospital and see me like that…It was my two worlds colliding.”

Sam could relate to that idea. It was a little like he’d felt when Carmina showed up in Birmingham. “Okay,” he said, not sure what Jane needed from him.

“And that’s a bad thing?” King said, handing her a bottle of water.

“In my head it is,” Jane said with a laugh. “Like I told you, I’m the good girl.” She took a nervous sip of water.

“Ah,” King said, as if that made perfect sense. “I see.”

“I don’t,” Sam said, confused. “What does that have to do with us?”

Jane snorted out a laugh as she was drinking, and had to wipe her mouth. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I’m serious,” Sam snapped, feeling like an idiot because he didn’t get something the other two obviously did.

“Sam, I slept with two guys. Together,” Jane said slowly. “Good girls do not do that.”

“Sure they do,” he said in surprise. “I happen to know a couple of them. One is an assistant coach in the NFL and the other is a cop. I dare you to call either one of them bad, or whatever the opposite of good girls is.”

“Slutty,” Jane said. “That’s the opposite of good girls.”

“So, you want to be a good girl?” Sam asked, confused, his heart sinking. “You just want to be with King?”

“What? No. I don’t know.” She slumped on the couch, looking miserable. “That’s the problem. I mean I’d like to see King again. But I’d like to see you again, too. Do you even want that?” She gestured at King. “King has been calling. You haven’t.”

“I do,” Sam said firmly. “I’m not good with that stuff. King said he’d take care of it.”

“I’m not sure I want to be ‘taken care of,’ like a problem with the mob,” she said with a wry smile. “I’m not a mind reader, Sam. I’m going to need some input from you. Look, I never gave my good-girl status a thought before I met you two. Now…I suppose good has its rewards, right?”

“On the other hand,” King said, “bad can be rewarding, too.”

She snorted again and Sam remembered why he’d been attracted to her. She wasn’t even trying. She hadn’t the night they met her, either. She was one of the rare people who said take me as I am.

“This is kind of a big deal in my world,” she said.

“It’s kind of a big deal in our world, too,” King assured her. “We never did that, either.”

“I’m a good guy,” Sam said, sitting back in his chair. “Or I thought I was. I guess I’m not. I’m a slut, too.”

“Yep,” King agreed, sitting down on the couch with Jane. “Me, too. Big slut.”

“Come on, you guys,” Jane said. “You know that’s not true.”

“Then why are you one?” Sam asked seriously. “What’s with the double standard?”

“It’s not me,” she protested. “It’s everyone else. You know how people react to that stuff. Just look at the way your friends are treated in the press.”

“I don’t see any press here,” Sam said, looking around. “Do you?”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you,” Jane said, clearly exasperated. “I can do this if we keep it low key.”

Sam didn’t like the sound of that. “What does ‘low key’ mean?”

“You know,” Jane said, hedging. “Just hanging out and…stuff. Not in public, you know?”

“Wait a minute,” Sam said. “Hold up. You want to keep us a secret?”

“Yes,” Jane said with a relieved sigh and a smile. “Now you get it.”

“So we’re just fuck buddies,” Sam said sharply, getting annoyed. He’d had enough. “I’m out of here.” He stood up, his gut churning with hurt and disappointment. “Look, I’m nobody’s shameful secret. Either be with me or don’t. Whatever.”

“Seriously?” Jane said, as sharp as Sam. “I don’t want to play your way, so you’re going to take your ball and go home?”

“Yeah, I’m taking my balls and going home. Wait a minute. I am home. You came here.”

“I thought about you guys a lot after Orange Beach. This”—she gestured between the three of them—“is a fantasy come true. But fantasies by their very nature aren’t reality. I’m trying to reconcile that. You’re not helping by putting words in my mouth.” She was speaking in that overly calm voice women used when they thought men were being assholes. “What I’m saying is I’m not ready to be the next Rebels headline. Aren’t I allowed to take baby steps with this? After all, we don’t even know if we like one another out of bed.”

Sam took a deep breath, trying to keep his shit together. Why was he so upset about this? She had a point.

“Yes,” King interjected. “You are. I know what we’re proposing is unusual.”

“Exactly,” Jane said. “Give me credit for trying this, for crying out loud. I mean, two guys. That’s insane.” She put her hands on her forehead as if she had a headache. “What am I thinking? This is never going to work.” Suddenly she pulled her hands away and stared at them in dawning horror. “Oh, God, that’s what you want isn’t it? I came in here making all kinds of assumptions and you haven’t even told me why you keep calling, or what you want. What do you want, exactly?”

“Oh, no, you got it right,” King said. “We talked about it, and we liked it, the three of us together. We want to see where it goes.”

Sam felt like a bug under the microscope as she stared at him. “Sam?”

“Yeah,” he admitted, butterflies in his stomach. “If that’s what you want.” She started to answer, but Sam put up a hand to stop her. “But you have to be more sure than you are right now.” She blew out a breath, staring at him helplessly. He smiled wryly. “Exactly. I think before we go back to where we were, we need to take those baby steps.”

“What’s your idea of baby steps?” she asked skeptically.

“We have an away game in Seattle this weekend. When we get back, we’ll go out.”

“Can’t you guys just, I don’t know, rip my clothes off again and fuck me and then we can see where we’re at?” she said hopefully.

“Wow, you really are a bad girl,” King said in appreciation. “I like it. I don’t know that good girl very well, but she can stay at home when we go out.”

“No,” Sam said, standing firm even though he wanted to cave and rip her clothes off. He wasn’t even sure why he was taking such a hard line, but his gut was telling him it was the right direction. “I just feel like I’m ready for more, that I deserve it. I’m not somebody’s secret, embarrassing fuck buddy. I’ve been afraid to be who I am for a long time. Maybe I wasn’t even sure who I was. And now I know, and I don’t want to take two steps forward and one back anymore. Not even baby steps.” He shook his head in frustration. “I don’t know how to explain it. That’s just how I feel. Look, we don’t have to take out an ad in the paper. But can’t we, I don’t know, just go out and eat or something? That’s pretty low key.”

“You do deserve it,” King agreed. “And so do I. We all do.” He looked expectantly at Jane.

“I’ll think about it,” Jane said. “But I’m not making any promises.”