ETTA

 

There was a grip on my wrist and I recognized the rough skin immediately. The old man was pulling me from the car with such force I couldn’t keep my balance or even catch my breath. I tumbled out onto the ground with dust flying into my mouth and the skin being ripped from my knees as he dragged me.

"Bitch! I've been looking everywhere for you. You really thought you could escape me? Me!"

He kicked me hard in the ribs and I yelped, rolling over clutching my side. More sand entered my mouth and I coughed, my chest feeling as though it was on fire. As my vision came into focus, I looked up at him. His face was hidden by the shade, the sun around him like an aura of fire. But still, I could see the worry in his eyes. He wasn't just angry with me for escaping. There was something else.

"Where is she?" he asked. "Why have you got my granddaughter’s car?"

I tried to speak but couldn't. All I could do was cough.

What time is it? I thought. How long was I asleep in the back of that car?

"Where is she?"

He kicked me again and this time I heard a crack.

"Where is she!"

"I don't know!" I cried.

In the moment, I was too confused, too thirsty to understand who he was talking about it. It wasn't until he gripped my hair and began dragging me through the dirt that I had a vision of the girl's body beneath the tree, her blood pooling around her body as her face fell open.

Something red came into view and I heard the rumble of the tractor's engine. A bark sounded and I looked up to see my old friend, that damn skinny dog that got me into all this trouble in the first place.

It looked happy to see me and jumped on my face, licking the dust from my cheeks as I fell onto the seat.

"Down boy," said the old man and the dog obeyed him. "You get down there."

I didn't realize he was talking to me until he slapped the back of my head.

"Get down there!"

He pointed to a pile of rags beneath the seat and before I could move, he was already pushing me down and covering me with sacs and cloths until I couldn’t breathe and there was nothing but stale, musty air covering my nose and mouth.

"No! Let me go!"

"Silencio!"

He kicked me again, his steel toe capped boot connecting with my hip.

The tractor was kicked into life and began traversing the rocky landscape. Up above me, I could hear the dog barking happily and the old man's voice soothing it back into silence.

I tried to cry but couldn't.

~

There was the sound of animals, the scratching of chicken feet and the distant guttural moan of a cow. We were back at the farm.

The old man jumped down from the tractor with his new friend beside him. The dog yapped with joy and the old man talked back to him. A few seconds later, the rags were being torn from my face and I could see the farmhouse once again.

"Inside, now."

I struggled to my feet, my head pounding even harder beneath the ever strengthening beams of the sun.

"Inside!"

He pulled me by the arm, his bony fingers digging hard into my flesh.

"Let me go!"

"You're not going anywhere. You're going to tell me where she is."

He dragged me down the long hall and back into the kitchen. It only seemed like moments ago that I was laying eyes on that beautiful girl for the first time and catching the glint of her engagement ring.

"Sit."

He threw me into a chair, each of my bones aching as I landed.

"Water..." I managed to croak.

He ran the faucet and returned with a pint glass of murky brown water. I gulped it down thirstily and asked for another. He laughed and sat down across from me.

"Where is she?"

"Out there in the desert."

"Why did you have her car?"

I stared into his face, trying to figure if it was a trick question. Maybe he'd found her body already and was testing me. Maybe he truly was ignorant.

"I found it," was the only reason I could muster. "I was walking and I found it."

"You found it..."

I nodded.

"And where was Lol?"

His eyes were blackening, his brittle hands sliding across the table waiting to grab me again if I said the wrong thing.

"She wasn't anywhere," I said.

I looked down and saw his hands were shaking but he wasn't angry, he was distressed for his granddaughter, he was terrified he had lost her. For a moment, I watched the anguished look in his eye and enjoyed watching him be afraid. He deserved to know what it felt like.

"You're lying," he said through gritted teeth.

I stared deeper into his eyes. It felt like they were growing darker.

"That girl is the most precious thing in my life besides her mother," he said. "You tell me where she is or I'll kill you."

"But you won't get money for me if you do that."

His hands shook more violently, his foot tapping frantically under the table.

"Tell me where she is!"

I sat back for a moment and took a deep breath. The dog wandered over to me and lay his head on my lap. I rubbed his ears and he stretched his face into a grin.

You bastard dog. It's all your fault.

"Did you know that your granddaughter was a whore," I said.

He flinched and clenched his eyes shut, trying to block out my words.

"A whore who fucked the most precious thing in my life."

His lips turned blue and almost disappeared as he grimaced.

"No..."

"It's true. She fucked the most important person in my life and why? Because she could?Because she liked to wreck lives?"

The old man leaped across the table and grabbed my throat. My tendons pushed themselves against the bones in his fingers as I struggled to breathe but he wasn't letting go. He was squeezing me tighter until I could hear the blood rush in my ears.

"Don't speak about her," he grunted.

A stream of spit was cascading from his lips but he didn't notice. He leaned in closer until his forehead was pressing against mine and his white-knuckled hands were squeezing tighter and tighter until I was seeing stars.

"She fucked Lincoln," I whispered as the blood rushed to my head.

My vision was fast disappearing and as pure blackness invaded my eyes.

"So I killed her."

The old man dropped me in shock and reeled back. I gasped for air, sucking in lungfuls until the water in my stomach protested at my heaving and I vomited onto the table, coughing until I couldn't take the pain anymore.

"You didn't..." whispered the old man.

As the color came back to my eyes, I saw he was crying.

"It's true. I slashed her face and stabbed her. Left her dying in the dirt."

He shook so hard the chair beneath him was rattling on the tiles.

"Lies!"

"You'll find her beneath the tree. The only thing out there that lives."

"Lies!"

I found myself laughing. Laughing at seeing him in pain, chuckling to myself at the sheer absurdity of what was happening. None of it could be real. This had to be a nightmare. Any moment now I'd wake up beside the pool and mom would be sipping a mojito and moaning about something or other.

I closed my eyes and waited to wake up.

Any second now, I thought. Just another moment and I'll be dipping my toes into the pool.

"You cunt," the old man whispered through his tears. "She was an angel. The most beautiful girl that ever lived."

"No," I said, still laughing. "She was a slut."

I leaned by head against the back of the chair and kept waiting. The smile wouldn't leave my face because I knew that if I waited long enough, I would wake up and everything would be back to normal. I'd open my eyes and tell Lincoln all about the dream I had where a dog led me down a path to an old man who thought he could kidnap me for ransom money.

He'd smooth the hair down my head and kiss my forehead and tell me it was just a dream. It was nothing to worry about. I was with him and I was safe.

"Just a dream," I said to myself, my eyes still closed, still waiting to open them to the sight of the villa and the sparkling emerald glow of the swimming pool.

"Just a dream."

The old man was still shaking. I could feel his tremors beneath the table.

"You'll pay..." he said.

He jumped up and I listened as his footsteps moved out of earshot for a moment. When they returned they were faster and his breathing was labored.

"She was an angel!" he yelled.

There was a click and as I opened my eyes, I realized it was the sound of him loading his shotgun.

"An angel!"

He pulled the trigger and I saw the gunshot before I heard it, a glorious explosion of light and fire. It burst into my eyes just as the gunshot deafened me. There was nothing but ringing in my ears and pristine white light. Then the light vanished and so did the ringing. Somewhere far, far away there was the sound of the dog barking but then that disappeared too.

There was only blackness, then a voice. It was crying.

Who is that? Who's there?

Then I realized there was dozens of voices and they were all wailing for help, for safety, for forgiveness. They were the voices of all the girls from the Waters’ House.

I tried to open my eyes to wake myself from the dream but when I did there was still blackness.

And then I knew. I would never wake again.