I sent Milo a text the next day, asking him to look into anything out of the ordinary about the Arlington family and Button’s death. He shot me back a message stating he’d let me know if he found any results. I grabbed Toast and loaded us into my car. He needed to get out of the house for a bit. I missed spending time with the fluff ball anyway.

Today was the day I’d be going to see my mother back in Stoneham. I wasn’t particularly excited about the prospect, but it was like a band aid with her. Just get it over with by ripping it off. I’d promised Button I’d help figure out what happened to him. But since it would take a bit to get anything back from Milo, Turk convinced me to go ahead and talk to my mother. At least get some kind of foot hole made, so it wasn’t as hard to climb out of the cataclysmic trench I’d dug myself into.

As soon as I started the engine, Button suddenly appeared in the passenger seat. Toast let out a loud screech and practically leapt into the back seat like his tail was on fire. I glared at my ghostly passenger.

“That was just rude. I warned you about popping in unannounced. It’s hard enough getting his furry ass in the car. I don’t need you freaking him out more.”

Button huffed. “You don’t need my help doing that. Your cat is afraid of everything. I’m pretty sure I saw him fall off the counter yesterday in fright when the end of his tail brushed him.” He looked back at Toast, whose fur stood on end as he bared his little fangs.

“Doesn’t matter. He’s an innocent creature. Stop scaring him. And me for that matter. Why are you in here anyway?” I asked him confused.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Figured I’d come along for the ride. I’ve heard of your mother and am curious.”

I tensed. “I’m afraid to ask you what you’ve heard.”

A delighted smile lit his face. “All kinds of things, Crafty. Your mom is a legend. Though, people try not to talk too much about her. Especially in public. They’re always afraid she’ll somehow hear them and curse them.”

“Meh. You’ve got a point. Mother has no sense of the word privacy. You’ll see. My business is the kind she sticks her nose into most.” I put the car into drive and started our trip.

For the first ten minutes, all was quiet through the vehicle. Minus the two times I had to berate my feline companion for clawing at my seats. If he thought I wasn’t above declawing him, he was sorely mistaken. Button seemed perfectly happy with just watching out the window as the town slipped out of view.

I took the silence to peek at him a few times, still trying to figure out why he looked so familiar to me.

Oddly enough, his clothes weren’t the same today as the first time I saw him in my bathroom. I wasn’t aware spirits could change clothes like that. I guess it was possible since his form wasn’t even corporeal. The longer I stared at him though, the more curious I got about him.

“How do you manage to sit in a seat? Or stay in the car without flying through it like the night I drove off without you?” I asked him.

He turned his head to smile at me, obviously amused that I was asking him questions.

“Not sure really. It’s more instinctual. What’s weird though, is I kind of feel it. Like when I focus hard enough, I feel almost solid rather than gaseous.” He shrugged again.

I knew I wasn’t exactly an expert on spirits or any of the afterlife in general, but that just didn’t sound right to me. Ghosts shouldn’t be able to feel anything. They’re just the soul left over after the body dies. Emotions I could understand. But actual physical feeling? It was odd. Definitely something I’d have to bring up with my mother.

“So, what’s your story?” Button asked me; his eyes zeroed in on me intensely.

It was my turn to shrug. “Not much to say, honestly. Grew up in Stoneham. Stayed until I was about twenty. Moved in with Turk at some crappy apartment for a few years as I tried the whole college scene. Dropped out when I realized I wasn’t learning anything that was useful. Started making bath bombs and other bath products from home, mostly selling them on Etsy. Then a few years ago, Turk and I found the building the shop is in. We moved upstairs, opened the store, and haven’t looked back. That’s pretty much it.”

He scoffed. “I find that hard to believe. That was too cut and dry to be a life story,” he argued.

“Well you’re not exactly a fount of info either, Casper,” I remarked as I took the exit to Stoneham off I-95 South.

“You didn’t ask me. You asked about my ghostly form. Not the same thing.”

It took everything in me not to roll my eyes. “Fine. So, what’s your story?” I threw his words back at him in a sarcastic tone.

He laughed. “That wasn’t so hard. To start, I come from a pretty big line of powerful fae. Not nearly as powerful as your mom, but pretty up there. Mom is the CEO of a high-end line of makeup called Flora Cosmetics. Pretty typical line of work for a fae woman considering nature is our source of power. The whole ‘anti-aging’ cream is her signature product,” he said with bunny quotes. “And dad owns and runs a major jewelry store called Arlington Gems. He inherited the legacy from his father, and his father from his. They all just kept passing it down. He’s got franchises from here to California. Alchemy is one of his many gifts, something he also gained from the men before him. Didn’t surprise me when I found out I was pretty good at it too.”

Something about his dad being prolific with prized gems tugged at the back of my mind. Was he connected to the Labradorite stone? Yet another thing to question.

“I was supposed to inherit his business and the family fortune once I reached thirty. It is kind of tradition for the first born to receive all inheritances by that age. I only had two years until it was mine. But, then I died apparently. No clue what happened. I can’t remember anything between waking up one morning to go over some paperwork with my father, and suddenly being in your shop. It’s completely blank.”

As I listened, I became more and more suspicious of his family. Would his father be the type to kill his own son to avoid passing on his business?

I didn’t get a chance to ask him anything else, because we’d pulled onto my mother’s street. Leave it to her to live down a road that no other houses were built on. She probably bought up all the lots to avoid any humans living close. Her nearest neighbor was a solid five minutes away.

Thick trees lined the narrow, winding road that lead to her house. They’d grown so tall, they almost blocked out the sun as they formed a canopy above us. Their red and orange leaves littered the road as we drove, flying out of the way from the gust of wind my car created.

I grimaced as her house came into view. It used to hold so much warmth for me when I was little, but the years away had given me perspective on just how lonely the home was. Now, it just held the woman who spent a majority of her time with men rather than me. It even looked gloomier than the last time I was here. You know those old Victorian houses you see in movies that look haunted? Yeah, her house was like that.

With its mansard roof, dark wooden exterior, and ornate pillars, the house appeared as if it were brooding. The white paint on the wrap around porch and shutters was chipping away. The chimney spilled black smoke into the air, decorating the sky above the house with a sad cloud. The only thing that seemed to be kept up with, were the gardens that surrounded the foundation.

Crimson and white bergamot, Wild Bleeding Hearts, and red clovers were tucked around the perimeter of the house. I recognized a few more varieties planted and knew she used most of them for potions and spells. She took pride in her gardens.

The only thing I truly loved about this house, was the large white willow weeping in the front yard. It was the center point of it and had one massive branch with my old wooden swing still attached. I’d spent many days and nights under that tree, wishing to get away. I loved my mother, but she was next to impossible to live with.

“So, are we getting out, or are you going to continue clutching your steering wheel for dear life?” Button asked; amusement tinged his words.

I snapped out of my daydreaming and turned the car off. But still, I didn’t move.

“Is she really that bad?” He asked me, some of the humor gone from his voice.

“No. I just… I know her. Yeah, she may have some useful information, but I know it’ll be like pulling teeth trying to get it out of her. She’d much rather chatter on about my love life or lack thereof.”

Button laughed. “You have more of a love life than you think. Don’t think I don’t see how flustered you get when Turk brings up that Warden Milo. Or how red you got when you talked to that Incubus guy. It’s entertaining actually.”

I glowered at him. “I didn’t ask you your opinion, now did I?” I grabbed Toast from the back seat and threw my door open. Somehow, facing my mother’s interrogation felt like a safer bet than listening to Button’s testimony about how red my cheeks got when the men in my life were mentioned.

My suede boots crunched on the gravel of the driveway as I walked to the porch. My heart hammered in my chest. Toast wiggled in my arms, wanting to get away from here about as much as I did. I climbed up the steps and heard what sounded like music coming from inside. I stopped as I faced the front door. I could feel the chill of Button’s form, hovering just behind my right shoulder. I pulled my black sweater tighter around me, pretending it was a barrier for the oncoming storm I was about to walk into. Automatically, I adjusted my black, floppy boho hat and ran a hand down my emerald, hi-lo bohemian dress, smoothing out the wrinkles as I steeled my breath.

You dressed nice. Your makeup is perfect. You can do this. I pep talked myself.

Here goes nothing.

I knocked, practically holding my breath as I waited.

When I could hear nothing but the music in the background, I knocked again – louder this time. Still nothing. I groaned in aggravation. I didn’t have time to just sit here and wait for her to walk here lazy ass to the door. So, I slowly twisted the knob and walked in.

I set Toast down, watching him immediately take off to hide somewhere as I closed the door.

“Mother?” I called out, hoping she wasn’t going to force me to go looking for her.

When no answer greeted me, I sighed. Looks like that’s exactly what I’ll have to do.

I wrinkled my nose when the smell of incense burning hit my nostrils like a freight train. Mother always did love her incense. Though, the amount that was burning was a bit more than anyone should ever love. The dark, oak floorboards creaked beneath my feet as I walked around the first floor of the house, finding it empty.

I found the source of the smell burning in the living room on the coffee table and fireplace mantle. I was positive I wouldn’t find her in the kitchen, so I completely skipped looking in there. Mother sucked at cooking. She’d only go in there if she was making coffee or tea for herself. I cautiously followed the music, which seemed to lead me upstairs. Surprisingly, it was a song I knew; Potions by See. Not my mother’s usual taste in music. Which made it even more shocking to hear as it blared loud enough to shake the house the further up the stairs I climbed.

I passed my old bedroom door and continued down the long, dark hallway. I could still feel Button floating behind me, giving me at least a bit of comfort. I wasn’t sure what I’d find behind the door at the end of the hall. It was Mother’s room. That’s where the music was coming from, so I had no doubt that’s where I’d find her.

However, my steps faltered as I got closer. I didn’t think I was prepared for whatever she was doing. Nothing good ever came from her door being closed in the middle of the day.

Goddess, this sucked.

“Just knock, ya big baby,” Button admonished me.

I turned on him and placed my hands on my hips. “Here’s an idea, you float your translucent ass in there and warn me of whatever I’m walking into. How about that?”

He shook his head. “Na, I’m good. It’s much more fun watching you torment yourself.”

“Asshole.”

“Chicken.”

I threw my hands up in surrender. “Agh! Fine! But so help me, if you leave me at the mercy of what’s in there, I’ll ghostbuster your ass so fast, your ancestors will feel it in their graves.”

Button snickered. “Yeah. Okay. Go on, Crafty.” He shooed at me with his hands.

I rolled my eyes and faced the door again. Deep breaths, Christi. Like a band aid, just get it over with.

I straightened my back and stalked the last few steps to the door. Without allowing myself to think about it, I turned the knob and ripped the door open.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, could’ve prepared me for the absolutely agonizing mind fuck I was faced with when entering her room. No amount of bleach could clean the images from my brain.

“Oh, my Goddess! Mother!” I shouted, slapping my hands over my eyes at the sight of her writhing beneath a pile of naked men. Four of them to be exact.

“Oh! Christi! Hello, darling,” she said casually to me, as if greeting me during a pleasant, Sunday brunch.

At this moment in time, I’d gladly be burned at the stake if it meant I could erase the last two seconds of my life from of my memory.

“This your daughter, Emma? She’s cute.” One of the men in the room said.

Fucking gross.

“Seriously, Mom? What the fuck is this? Some kind of sex crazed cult? Cause if it is, you’re on your own,” I shouted at her; my hands still tightly covered my eyes.

“Oh, quit being so dramatic,” I heard her reply. The sound of clothes being put back on greeted my ears. Thank the Goddess. “You know very well what this is. Not my fault you didn’t knock.”

My mouth fell open. “Are you serious? I knocked twice and shouted your name! If you weren’t so busy playing the four-man tango, you’d have heard me!”

This was just getting worse by the second. I could hear Button muffling a laugh behind me, obviously getting some sick fascination from my torture. I really wished he was solid right about now. I needed to punch someone.

Hands pulled mine from my face. My mother gave me a slight eye roll and walked over to the mini bar she had set up in the corner of her room, pouring herself a glass of champagne. I glanced over at the men to see them finishing putting their clothes on. It didn’t surprise me that they were all just a bit older than me. Mother was a cougar. Then again, with how old she really was, basically every man who wasn’t a warlock was far too young for her. Mother knew all the best concoctions that helped slow her age progression. She was nearing ninety-years-old, yet still only looked just around mid-forties. Some said I was a carbon copy of her.

She had the same crystal blue eyes and long, flowing white blond hair. Only hers had a bit of a wave to it, rather than board straight like mine. She was an inch shorter than me, and had slightly bigger boobs, but all around, our body types were similar. But while she was more on the tan side, I was perpetually pale. We were mistaken for sisters more often than not. And she loved it. She used her youthful looks to her advantage and actively worshipped the Goddess Voluptas. Pleasure was her forte.

Emma Craft had the exact life she wanted. Magic more powerful than most would ever dream of having. Men who fell at her feet, begging for just one night. Respect of the witching community. Well, mostly respect. Can’t say many agreed with my mother’s lifestyle, but it’s not like they had any say. My father was the only man she had a serious relationship with. When he left her for someone else, she was a changed woman. And you know that age old saying, ‘Hell hath no fury like a Craft scorned’? Okay, I improvised some of that. But it was true. Mother became a woman to be reckoned with after that. It took everything in her not to turn to black magic. My Aunt Tilly, Mother’s older sister, used to tell me that I was the only reason she stayed on the path of light magic. That didn’t stop her from becoming a more free-spirited witch though.

“Would you all please give me and Christi some privacy?” My mother stated to the men in the room. “It shouldn’t be long. She never stays for extended visits anyway.”

I didn’t let that little dig get to me. She knew very well why I didn’t stay to visit long.

As the men began to make their way towards the door, I held a hand up to halt them. The idea of talking to her about something serious in this room, grossed me out.

“Actually, can we please go somewhere else to talk? I can’t even deal with what I just saw, let alone stay in here right now.” I didn’t even give her a chance to answer, before I strolled quickly from the room. My skin crawled as I treaded down the steps, trying in vain to erase everything.

“So, I gotta say it. Your mom is not what I expected,” Button said with a laugh.

I glared at him as we made our way into the living room. I grabbed all the burning incense and snuffed them out, not wanting to clog my sinuses with anymore of the smell.

“Well, she’s exactly what I expect every time I come here. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to unsee that.”

Button scoffed, and his eyes widened with disbelief. “Oh, Goddess. You’re a prude, aren’t you?”

I rounded on him, anger blatant on my face. “I’m not a prude! Would you like to see your mother in the throes of passion with not one – but four men? I want you to really think about that imagery before you answer.”

He went still. I watched his expression morph from humor, to disgust, to horror in a span of five seconds.

“Yeah. That looks about right,” I stated, flopping myself down on the couch and kicking my feet up on the coffee table.

He slowly floated down to sit next to me, his face still pulled in a look of absolute terror. “I hate you so much. Now I can’t get rid of that.”

I snorted. “Imagine if you saw it in real life. Double what you’re feeling, and you’ve got me. Trust me. The fact that she’s with four men doesn’t concern me. It’s seeing it happening that has me traumatized.”

“Touché.” Was his only response.

“I would ask you who you’re talking to, dear daughter,” my mother’s voice filtered in behind me, making me jump in surprise. “But, I have a feeling I don’t really need to. Spirit I presume?” She asked as she walked around the couch to sit; her red, silk robe pulled tight around her.

She set her champagne glass on the table and sat back, waiting.

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

She sighed. “Well, for one, I know that if you’re talking to yourself, you’re not doing it because you’re crazy. And two, I can sense him.” She tapped her nose. “Spirits bring a slight ozone smell with them.”

I gawked at her in surprise. “Really? How come I can’t smell it?”

“Well, I guess that probably has to do with your dulled power. Being able to pick up the less obvious signs of spirits is usually a big trait for Craft women. You just can’t because your power suffers.”

Yet another reminder of how bad of a witch I was. Even my Spill magic had seemed to be weaker in the last few weeks.

“Do you ever question why my powers are so weak compared to yours?” I asked her.

“Of course, I do. What mother wouldn’t?” And just like that, she evaded a real answer. Every time I brought this up with her, it was as if she wanted to steer away from the subject. She would evade with an answer that wasn’t a lie but wasn’t exactly full of truth either.

Sometimes, it felt like she knew more about my magic than she was saying. But with how badly she wanted me to be just like her, why would she hide that from me? Wouldn’t she want me to reach my full potential as a witch? It was a double-edged sword.

“So, what information have you come for this time? You only visit me when you have questions. Sometimes, you don’t even drop by. You call. Obviously, this is important,” she stated.

It bugged me how perceptive she was. But at least I didn’t have to beat around the bush.

I slipped the Labradorite stone from my pocket and handed it to her. Her eyes lit up with interest and she sat straighter as she took it. Her hand ghosted over the gem, and her eyes fluttered closed. I watched as her palm began to glow a fuchsia color as she passed her hand over it back and forth.

“Mmmm, this is powerful magic. It’s barely there, but I can just make it out. Binding spell for sure. But something is different about it.” Her eyes popped open and she handed the stone back to me.

“What’s different about it?” I asked, slipping it back into my pocket.

“Does your ghost remember anything about its death,” she asked, ignoring my question.

I shook my head. “No, he doesn’t. Just maybe the morning before, then suddenly being in my shop. Turk had purchased the stone with a bunch of other gems. But, when I had him look through the computer system for the sale, it wasn’t there.”

Milo had suggested I try tracing back who the seller was, but we came up empty handed. Whoever had brought them, made sure to erase the file. That part confused me, though. How had they managed to do that?

“Oh, he huh? Did he give you his name?”

“Beauregard Arlington.” I felt Button ease closer to me when I said his name. The hairs on my arms raised with the chill that spread over my body.

Mother’s eyes seemed to pick up on that. “Ah, the son. The Arlington’s are very powerful fae. I’ve met Isadora several times and use her makeup. Beautiful products. Then again, fae were always amazing at using natural products to make something even better. Her husband, Gerald, however, is not very outgoing. More of a business man than anything. From what I’ve heard, he fancies women who are of the more demon variety and had several affairs. Quite a scandal, actually.”

Ha! Button is fae! I had a feeling I’d be right about that. That last part about the affairs gave me pause though.

I glanced over at Button and saw his face masked with confusion.

“Did you not know this?” I asked him.

He slowly shook his head, staring at the ground and swallowing hard. “I knew he and my mom weren’t the happiest of couples, but I’d never heard about Dad having any affairs. Especially with demons. He’s too involved in his business. When would he have the time?”

“I take it he had no idea,” Mother said sadly.

“Nope. Says he was too involved in business. When would he have the time?”

Mother let out a humorless laugh and zeroed her gaze over my shoulder, probably able to sense exactly where he was. “Dear boy that was a long time ago. Probably only months after you were born I’d say.”

At the look of betrayal on Button’s face, I waved my hand. “This doesn’t have anything to do with what happened to Beau, so let’s just move on.”

Button’s face snapped up to mine when he heard me use a shortened version of his actual name, rather than my usual nickname. I kept eye contact with him, keeping my face schooled. I hadn’t meant to say his name, but I could see by the look on his face he enjoyed that. The corner of his mouth turned upwards a bit.

When he wasn’t being a total asshole or getting angry, he was quite attractive. I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t have ogled him had I known him when he was alive.

“You’re right. It doesn’t. But then again, it may. That stone was made by Gerald.”

My eyes left Button, and my head whipped around to look at my mother. “I knew it! He told me how his father was a master at Alchemy. Something told me he made that stone. How did you know, though? Does it have like a signature mark on it or look like his work?” I couldn’t stop the questions pouring out of me. I felt a bit proud of myself for speculating about the stone. To find out I was right, felt pretty good.

“Not exactly. I can feel his essence embedded inside. One of the many things I surpass most witches and warlocks in, is the ability to sense other’s magic. Almost like a dog memorizes and can pinpoint specific smells it’s come in contact with. That’s how it is for me and magic. For example…”

She made a gesture with her hand at me, then appeared to be pinching at something with her thumb beneath her four other fingers as she pulled her hand away from me. Suddenly, little, translucent streams of crimson red and cerulean blue flowed out of my body and towards her. They shimmered and swirled as they flew right into her. She inhaled, and her eyes lit up.

“I know you were recently intimate with an Incubus; his magic lingers faintly around you. And…” she paused, seeming to mull over the other magic. I knew what she’d find.

A knowing look spread across her face. “Well, well, well. Milo James. You liked that boy even as a child. I can practically taste your desire for him on the tip of my tongue. For both of them actually. Why are you denying yourself these men, darling?”

My cheeks flushed crimson. “I’m not here to discuss my love life, Mother.”

She laughed boisterously. “On the contrary, that’s just half of what you came here for. I’m afraid I gave you the only info I know about your stone and your ghost. The rest you’ll have to ask them. You’re a smart girl, Christi, and far more powerful than you realize. One day, you’ll figure it out on your own. But, I want to help push you in the right direction for that.”

“Okay, one, how do you suppose I talk to his parents? I can’t just pop over and tell them their dead son is speaking to me. Especially if they’re the ones who killed him and trapped his spirit. Fae aren’t exactly prone to being questioned. They like their secrets. And two, I don’t think I like the idea of you pushing me in any direction. What is with you and other people telling me I’m more powerful than I realize?” I started to stand and shook my head. “No. I don’t want help realizing anything. Everyone keeps telling me I’m powerful. You’re wrong. If I was, then life would be a helluva lot easier for me.”

I motioned with my head to Button that it was time to go.

“Christi, wait. I can get you in with the Arlington’s,” she said.

I stopped my retreat to the door and turned, arms folded with impatience.

She folded her hands together in front of her. “I know that Gerald can’t help but want to touch and observe priceless and powerful gems. You know how Fae are with their gems. I can give you something of mine that he won’t be able to resist seeing. I’ll arrange the meeting and you can bring it with you under the guise that I sent you in my stead and you can just subtly ask questions. It’s that simple.”

I nodded, realizing that it would help having an excuse to be there. “Okay. Thanks. That would help a lot.” In the back of my mind though, I questioned why she desired to help me so badly. Emma Craft wasn’t the type of witch to help anyone for free. Even her own daughter.

She took a few steps towards me and enveloped me in a hug. I almost jumped in surprise at her warm embrace. My mother never hugged me. She used to when I was a kid, but nowadays, she kept her distance. What is going on with her?

She placed a kiss at my temple as she pulled away but stopped to whisper in my ear.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for wh-…” I was about to ask but was hit with a blast of power from behind.

Colors exploded around me and warmth seeped into my skin. My legs trembled, and my heart raced. What had she done to me?

She pulled away and smiled sadly. “I had to, Christi. I don’t want you making the same mistakes as me. You can’t fight the emotions you have inside of you. You need to act on them, otherwise, you’ll be far more lost than I ever was.”

My bones quaked, and my breath heaved. “What have you done, Mother?” I knew there would be a price for her assistance. Hecate damn me!

She shrugged. “It was a simple Seduction Spell. You’ll have long enough to get home before the spell takes full effect. And when it does, trust me, you’ll want to use it to your advantage.”

I shook my head, trying to clear out the onslaught of colors that seemed to be flashing behind my eyes. The world around me was far brighter than it should’ve been. Button looked on at me with a mixture of concern and amusement. He must know exactly what this was.

“What is going to happen?” I said through gritted teeth.

“Ohhh, you’ll know. I suggest you get moving, though. Don’t want this creeping up on you while you drive.” She spotted Toast hiding on the top of one of her china cabinets and swished her hand at him. He let out a hiss as he levitated in the air. She pushed him to me and I grabbed him as he fell from the air. Then, she flicked her hand at me and I felt the world shift.

Suddenly, I was sitting in my car with Toast freaking out in my lap. He let out a feral meow and dashed over my shoulder into the back seat. Button immediately popped into the passenger seat, eyes wide on me.

“Your mom is a fucking bad ass. She just vanished you and Toast like it was nothing!”

I turned the engine over in my car and grasped the steering wheel hard, the warm pulses of power still radiated through me.

“What did she do to me?”

Button laughed. “Oh, man, Crafty! You are going to be so mad. You should really start driving.”

I threw the car into drive and sped from her driveway; my foot hit the gas pedal hard as the car veered onto her street.

“Answer the question, Button!” I shouted at him, starting to freak the fuck out. Was this going to kill me? Why is it so hot in here? I clenched my thighs together as a sensual sensation rocked me to the core. What the fuck was that?

“Okay, so basically, you’re going to want to have sex. Like badly. If you don’t, the spell will only hit you harder and harder, to the point it’s almost painful. It’ll only go away when you gain release.”

My jaw dropped so far down it almost reached the floor of the car. “You’re fucking kidding me, right? Why the fuck would she do something like that to me?”

Button shrugged with a shit eating grin on his face. “No clue. She’s your mother.”

“I’m so going to kill her,” I growled, pushing my foot down harder on the gas pedal.