CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LEIGH
Resume writing is vying for second place on my list of Worst Things to Happen to Leigh During This School Year. Not that I'm pessimistic enough to keep a running list all year... usually. This one just carries a lot of terrible things and we're only in the middle of the semester. It requires extra vigilance and some Prosecco.
"Find anything exciting?" Sealy drops next to me with a chilled bottle of a white wine mix and two mason jars with crazy straws. The whole thing is very College Station. "I thought we'd toast job hunting on a different coast with better aesthetics by being as country as possible."
"The crazy straws are a nice touch."
"Definitely one of my finer moments. Whatcha got? Is NASA ready to accept us as fresh-faced astronauts yet? Can I flirt my way aboard the ISS?"
"Unlikely while all the grumpy old men still run things. The day a young hot guy takes over, though..." We toast one another and sip loudly on our straws. "This just made this whole crappy experience like 100 times better."
Sealy peaks over my laptop and raises her eyebrows. "California? What happened to DC?"
"I want something new before I resign myself to a life of government work, you know? Even if this government work is freaking space exploration, I'd like to see the rest of the country first. California beaches are calling my name. Their beaches are worth the traffic, but I don't think Maryland is the same."
"My uncles live in Maryland and girl, let me tell you. You think you've seen beautiful beaches? Wait until you see their mountains."
"California just feels right." I shrug and take an extra-large slurp. "Maybe I can be Elon Musk's third wife. Because that appears to be the only way to get into Space-X."
"Now you're just talking dirty."
"Private sector space flight, baby."
"Oh, Leigh. You'll just make me come all over the couch."
"Working 100 hours a week. Missions to Mars. Questionable benefits."
"I'm coming!" Sealy screeches and we laugh until she gets her serious face on. "Speaking of orgasms."
I stare at her through squinty eyes while I sip on my wine to ease the pain of whatever she's about to drop in my lap. "I hate you."
"Fucking genius, Leigh. Don't be jealous. Anyway. I happened to notice that things have been very... um, less quiet on your side of the apartment."
"Are you seriously doing this right now? Do I need to pull out the recordings of you and Clark after a night out? Because holy fuck, Seal..."
"Oh, Leigh, let's not make this about me. We're instead talking about your lack of a sex life and how that vibrator has been working overtime—"
"Oh my god." I throw a pillow over my head so I don't have to look at the ridiculous faces she's making, and so I can hide the fact my face is surely three different splotchy shades of red.
"I'm concerned about the vitality of your poor vibe. He's going to die soon, Leigh. Do you really want that blood on your hands?"
My voice is muffled behind the pillow. I'd like to die now. "That's what fresh batteries are for."
"For the greater good of vibrators everywhere, I think you need to get properly laid. And interestingly enough, I know just the guy—"
I throw the pillow at her. "I don't like where this is going, Sealy Shepperd, not one bit."
"See, he also has been relying on the tried and true 'hands on' method, if you will." She uses freaking air quotes and everything. "Because he had a terrible fight with this girl he really super likes—"
"Okay, that's enough." I slam my laptop shut and jump off the couch for more wine. "I don't want to have this conversation sober. I don't want to have this conversation at all."
"I figured you'd say that. There's an open bottle on the counter."
I pop my head out of the kitchen to say, "Hate you."
"Love you, too."
Fuck the glass. I drop the straw in the bottle and stomp into the living room. "Why did you talk to him?"
"Because he keeps moping around the fucking field during their training camp thing and I was getting really tired of it. He is a perpetual mood killer every time I'm with Clark. Kinda like you are when I'm with Clark."
My heart seizes but I quickly force all thoughts of hope and reconciliation out of my mind. I heard everything he had to say on the matter, including me using him for a status symbol. That, of all things, probably hurt the worst.
"Yeah, well he can keep screwing himself for all eternity. I told him I was done and I meant it. We weren't anything, anyway."
"Bullshit. You were more than just fuckbuddies and someone needs to finally admit that before I go insane. Just because you stole kisses when you thought no one was looking definitely doesn't mean that you weren't a thing."
"We were not a thing. We were just... using each other for our various needs. The needs ended, thus we ended." I slurp the wine loudly. "Now, can we go back to shit talking Space-X for being so goddamn elitist?"
"Sure, if by Space-X you mean Heath Davis, and if by elitist, you mean how you two need to get together and talk about shit, and or fuck, then sure. Let's do that." She slurps just as loudly and crosses her legs with an impressive amount of flair. "Can you please cut the crap for two seconds and admit you have serious feelings for this boy?"
"No." I shake my head firmly and slosh wine over my heads. "He's a cow town football meathead. I'm the girl with the brains. We don't belong together."
"If this were a Reese Witherspoon movie, you would totally belong together."
"I don't look like Reese or have a southern accent, so I guess I'm out of luck. Now, about Elon Musk—"
"You moaned his name last night, Leigh." Sealy stares at me with arched eyebrows and a wicked smile. She looks like every Disney villain ever drawn. "Admit you care about him and miss him. Admit he filled a space you needed filled, pun intended, and you aren't ready for that to end."
"We'll part ways in a matter of months."
"I never said get married."
"I don't love him."
"I never said you were. But you definitely have feelings for this guy, otherwise you wouldn't have cleaned out our entire collection of Ben and Jerry's, which I am still not over, you wicked creature."
The whole thing is so insane. As much as I'd love to have it all go away, I don't think I can overlook everything that happened. "He really hurt me, Sealy."
"I know." She softens. "Believe me, I know. I've held you on this very couch while you've cried and lamented over having feelings for a cow town football meathead. But you have, and you do. Leigh, for once in your life, go after something that makes you happy and won't threaten to ruin you mentally."
"Too late." I say bitterly, already hearing his words play through my head all over again.
"No, no. You stop that right now. He said some stupid shit, but so did you, Leigh. I'm not saying he was right to say any of that, but did you ever stop to think about the things he said to you? About how you made him feel, too?"
"You can't possibly be taking his side."
"I said I wasn't, and I'm not. I swear. But I think playing devil's advocate for half a minute might do you some good. And in case you deleted his number, I'm putting it back in there right now."
"I hate you."
Sealy hugs me tight. "I'm your best friend. Now listen to me."
"I'll think about it.”