CHAPTER 10
LILY FELT JARED’S hand slip into hers, and she followed when he gently tugged. In the far recesses of her logical mind, she knew she should send him off to his own tent, and find her way to hers.
She also knew the folly of letting him lead her anywhere in these mountains that he didn’t know like she did. But she didn’t stop him. Nor, for the first time in her life, did she even attempt to navigate the situation.
She simply let him lead. Wanted him to, so she could shut herself off, just for a little while. It’d been a long, long time since she could do so, certainly since before her accident, and ever since then she’d been fighting that all-consuming, unrelenting fear that she’d never be the same, that she’d not be able to support herself, and any of a myriad of other anxieties and concerns.
She wanted oblivion…nirvana.
Mindlessness.
Jared’s broad shoulders blocked out of most of the view of where they headed, and that was fine, that was perfect. For the first time in too long, she emptied her brain of thought, leaving only…emotions.
She’d had only herself to rely on. Or at least that’s what she’d always wanted. But somehow, on this trip, that was just another misconception she was discovering.
Leaning on someone might be good. If only for a few…
Jared stepped into the shadows and became a tall, dark sinewy outline of a man. “Come here.”
She shifted toward him, and he pulled her down to a rock. She saw they were on the far side of the lake. They were still within earshot of the others, but just out of view.
Fog hovered on the water, drifting over them, smudging the night scenery like a glorious wet painting. With a sigh, Lily let it all surround her, the crickets singing, the branches brushing together in the light breeze.
Her own heartbeat.
Jared didn’t say a word, just sat next to her, taking in the magnificent night in utter silence. She looked at him, at his profile with his strong, masculine features and the mouth that she, quite shockingly, wanted on hers. “Jared.”
“I want to strip you out of your clothes and take you right here.”
“The others—”
“Can hear, I know. We’d be quiet.”
The sharp desire in his voice when contrasted to his easy posture, tugged a short laugh out of her. “Uh—”
He looked at her then, his glasses slipping just a little, a frown on his mouth. His stubble had filled in a little after two full days, and his hair had been finger-combed again. Overall impression:
Badass.
When had that happened? Looking at him, a little frisson of sheer desire zinged through her, beginning at her toes, traveling through every single erogenous zone she had, plus a few she’d forgotten about… Yeah, she’d definitely found her oblivion, her nirvana. “Jared.”
“I know it sounds crazy,” he said. “You could have—”
“Jared.”
“—any guy on the planet—”
Cupping his face, she gave him a little shake. “Jared.”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to talk,” she whispered.
“You don’t—”
She kissed him. He didn’t protest, and neither did the night. A breeze blew her hair across her face and she impatiently shoved it aside, shooting closer.
With a groan, he pulled her in. She sank into him, the scent of his skin better than any scent she could remember. Around them, the water hit the rocky shore with a rhythmic, almost hypnotic regularity, in tune to their heavy breathing as she strained to get even closer.
She could hear the murmurs of voices—Michelle’s and Jack’s, she thought. Or maybe Rose’s and Rock’s. There was something incredibly arousing about that, knowing they were within earshot, especially given what she wanted to do.
“Lily—”
“No. No talking.” To that end, she took his mouth again, dancing her tongue to his, absorbing his low groan of pleasure, loving how his arms tightened on her as he kissed her back, hot and deep.
“God, you taste so good,” he murmured, dragging kisses along her jaw to her ear. “So damned sweet. I can’t get enough.”
She couldn’t either. His kisses, his touches, were as quietly demanding as the man himself could be. He kissed her again and again, and leaning over her, urged her back on the rock, stretching her out, supporting himself with his hands on either side of her face.
Oh, yeah, now this was what she’d wanted. Desire. Hunger. More, please.
Lifting his head, he looked down at her sprawled out beneath him. “You look sweet, too.”
She let out a sound that was half laugh, half groan. He needed to shut up and kiss her some more.
“What, no one’s ever told you that before?”
“Not exactly.”
“Well, they should have because you are. And hot. Did I mention you’re also hot? So damned hot. Lily—”
“No talking.”
“Can’t help myself.”
“Try harder.”
“Maybe if my mouth was busy—” In the interest of her wishes, he kissed the spot beneath her ear, then slowly exhaled, making her shiver wildly.
Good start.
“Mmm.” He shifted to her neck, dragging hot, wet openmouthed kisses down the base of her throat, where she was certain her pulse had approached heart-attack speed.
“And you taste pretty damn hot, too,” he said with a smile, the one that seemed to melt her brain cells and her bones at the same time. “Sweet and hot.”
The night added to the intimacy. Around her she could hear the things that had always lulled her, soothed her; the crickets, a distant howl…her favorite sounds.
But now she had a new favorite sound—the quickening of Jared’s breath as he stared at her hungrily, and also with just a little befuddled surprise, as if he couldn’t quite believe his luck. Then he bent over her again, touching his mouth to hers, and she knew she’d been right. There was no better way to beat back the emptiness that had taken over than with this. Him. Sliding her hands into his short, silky hair, she held him to her.
“Lily—”
“Shh.” Beneath him, her body was coming alive, the loneliness and emptiness she’d felt only a short time before with Keith quickly being replaced by a heat that was working outward from everywhere Jared’s mouth touched. Then his warm hands slid beneath her T-shirt, skimming over her ribs, his fingertips just barely stroking the undersides of her breasts. Her nipples had long ago hardened, but they hardened further, into two tight, aching peaks.
“I could kiss you all night,” he whispered. “Tell me you feel the same.”
“Jared Skye, what does shh mean? No talking, that’s what!” With a huff of impatience, she sat up, pulled off her shirt and tossed it aside. There. She looked up at him, figuring that would finally get her message across.
His gaze took in her white lace bra, his eyes on fire. Rising up to his knees, he pulled off his shirt, too.
Finally. In reward, she ran her hands down his torso, but he backed away.
Huh?
Smiling, he stood up, then kicked off his shoes.
Okay, she liked where this was going. A lot.
And then he shucked his pants. Yeah, she really liked where this was going…
There he was standing beneath the meager starlight naked as the day he was born.
She licked her suddenly dry lips. “Okay, that works. Now—”
But she was talking to herself because he’d turned, and without a single word—which was just as she’d asked so what could she say?—he dived into the water in one clean, catlike movement.
Sitting up, she stared in disbelief at the black ripples on the lake until he re-emerged and tossed the water from his wet hair.
Without a moon for light, she couldn’t be sure, but she thought maybe he was grinning.
“Come on,” he said, and lifted a hand.
“Skinny-dipping?”
“Why not?”
“Because…” Because I’d thought you’d be inside me by now.
“It’s juvenile.”
“Actually…” He stood up so that the water lapped at his shins. His body gleamed by the meager starlight as water sluiced off him, down his shoulders, his arms, his chest, his belly…
Lower, and, oh yes, she looked. He was aroused, hugely so, and her mouth went dry. God, he was a beautiful man, so beautiful she wanted to lap him up one sip at a time.
“I don’t feel so juvenile,” he said very silkily.
Oh, boy.
“You coming in?”
“I don’t know,” she murmured, still staring at him. She’d wanted mindless, wild, animal sex. Him inside, her wild, no thoughts allowed.
And yet everything he did, every time he touched her, or spoke, or even just looked at her, her thoughts raced. She was yearning and burning, all of her, not just her body but her heart and soul, and that scared her deep.
Damn it, she’d just wanted to have some mutually satisfying sex, that’s all. Why couldn’t he oblige?
As if reading her mind, he let out a slow, daring smile. “What’s wrong? Someone else took charge of the moment, and you lost your place?”
She opened her mouth. Then carefully closed it again. “No.”
But he laughed. “Yeah.”
“You’re pissing me off.”
“I know it.” He splashed her, just scooped his hand into the water and splashed her, wetting her from her roots to her toes and all the places in between, including her bra. Water dripped off her nose as she looked at him. “That was juvenile, as well.”
“Yeah? What are you going to do about it?”
“I’m sitting here without my shirt on, and you want to play?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You’re crazy.” But she toed off her shoes.
He smiled.
“I don’t want any strings between us,” she said, pointing at him. “Just this.” She unzipped her jeans. “Got it?”
“This being…”
“Us. Naked.” She unhooked her bra. “Can you handle that?”
He was still smiling. “What if you decide you want more?”
“I won’t.” She let her bra fall. “Can you handle it?” she asked again.
“I can sure as hell try.”
And then she slid her jeans and panties down in one fell swoop. His smile faltered, replaced by a fiery look of desire that stole her breath.
“Come here,” he said very softly, and held out his hand.
A light breeze blew over her and she shivered as she stepped into the water, reaching out for him. He pulled her in, tight, close, and just like that, at the feel of his wet, warm body against hers, he banished the chill.
He kissed her as he pulled them both down into the water, and as the water closed around their shoulders, lapping at their bodies, she tasted the inside of his mouth and found unbelievable comfort in the familiarity of him.
Comfort, even as she wanted him to make her explode. So, so unbelievable. But at least she wasn’t alone in this odd phenomenon. She could hear his ragged breathing, as well, feel the pounding of his heart as he nudged her even closer, wrapping one arm around her lower back, the other sliding into her hair to tug her face up to his. He felt it, too, whatever “it” was, and a little stunned, a little overwhelmed at it all, she touched his jaw.
“Lily,” he whispered, his longing making his voice thick and husky.
She was a strong swimmer, and yet he held her up in the water. It felt incredible, leaning on him, letting him do the work, knowing he wouldn’t let go. Her toes bumped his shins, their bare thighs slid together. His hard abs pressed into her softer ones, and without conscious thought she ran her hands up his chest and around his neck, pressing her mouth to his for more of his achingly slow, melting kisses.
She hoped like hell no one else decided to go for a late-night naked swim, but then he slid a hand down her spine, stopping to squeeze her butt before stroking further, down the back of her leg, urging it around his waist, which opened her up for him, and oh God, he arched his hips into hers so that she could feel exactly what she did to him.
He was hard, gloriously so, and boldly nudging at her opening, and she forgot all about the others.
He was a stranger, and yet she’d never felt closer to anyone in her life. Pressed even closer, she made a sound of intense need, and he met her more than halfway, his mouth welcoming hers, harder and deeper this time, as if he’d pulled the plug on any hesitancy, on the leash of his control. His hands roamed wildly over her, and hers did the same, and when she wrapped her fingers around his glorious erection, he swore and staggered unsteadily, and they both fell.
Water closed over their heads, and laughing breathlessly, they crawled to the shore. Lily lay back on the sand, her head and torso out of the water, looking up at Jared as he towered over her, his eyes glittering.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, lowering his body to hers as the water lapped at their calves. “So damned beautiful you take my breath.” He buried his face in her hair, then her neck, breathing her in as if he meant to inhale her, his hands skimming up and down her body, spreading the heat within her.
When she opened her legs for him, he groaned, low and raw, and made himself at home between them, cupping her face for another soul-wrenching kiss. Then he took that kiss on a cruise down her throat to her breasts, and she couldn’t help it, she cried out.
“Shh,” he murmured, and sucked her hard into his mouth.
It turned out it was hard to “shh.” She tried, she really did, she just couldn’t, so he put his fingers over her lips and slid farther down her body, kissing each rib, her belly button.
Lower.
Oh. God.
Slipping his hands beneath her, he lifted her high enough that he could kiss her.
There.
And with the water lapping at her legs and Jared lapping at her center, he took her right out of herself and back again, leaving her gripping wet sand in her fists, staring blindly up at the stars, shuddering, stunned.
“Again,” he commanded, and though she’d just exploded so hard she thought she couldn’t come again, he proved her wrong.
Twice.
Good lord. He might have been a classic workaholic, a self-described ordinary working stiff, but there was nothing ordinary about what he did to her there on the shore. Whatever his experience had or hadn’t been, he was earthy, giving, a masterful lover, and even when she had him in her hands, making him tremble and swear as she slowly stroked, he took care of her, almost intuitively knowing what she needed and when, which was him, inside her.
When he sank into her, their twin groans mingled in the night air, and when he began to move, she couldn’t have come up with her own name.
“Lily.”
Right. Her name was Lily. Good. Great. But she promptly forgot it again because he’d opened his eyes and locked them on hers, letting her see what she did to him, letting her watch the pleasure, the hunger, the sheer need for her roll over him, through him, and back into her.
No one had ever been this deep within her before, inside her body, her mind, her soul.
No one.
And she gave herself up to it. Really, she had no choice. It was the first true joy she’d experienced in a very long time. Given the look in his eyes, he felt the same. Marveling, she touched his jaw, his mouth, her heart quickening as he kissed her fingers and thrust deep within her.
Unbelievably, she felt her body tightening again, but then he did the one thing she wanted him to never do—he stopped.
“Lily—”
“No. Please don’t stop.” Was that her, all breathless and panty, sounding like Marilyn Monroe? Yeah, and she didn’t care, all pride had deserted her, because damn it, she needed him to keep moving, she needed that more than she needed anything else in the entire world. Her toes were curling, her body on the very edge. “Please, please…”
“God.” Dropping his forehead to hers, he panted for breath. “Lily, don’t move.”
“I have to.” Arching up, she wrapped her legs around his waist, which brought him even deeper within her, and they both gasped in pure, unadulterated pleasure. “Jared, you have to—”
“No condom.” He grated this out, his fingers gripping her hips as if she was his lifeline.
Condom.
How she’d nearly put that little thought right out of her head was beyond her, but he’d fried her brain cells. “Front pocket of my jeans.”
He blinked. “You have a condom in your pocket?”
She stared up at him. “I think the correct reaction here is gratitude.”
“Oh, trust me.” He reached up for the clothes they’d tossed on the shore, and fumbled through her pocket. “It is sheer gratitude. I’m also flattered.” He was back, kneeling between her thighs, his hands sliding slowly up her legs, his gaze following his own movements, his breathing going ragged again.
“Hurry,” she panted.
“On it.” But he leaned in and kissed her inner thigh, then turning his head, nuzzled her very center.
Her gasp filled the quiet night. Lifting his head, his eyes were dark as he tore open the packet and rolled the condom down his length. Then he was poised at her opening, going still as he looked at her. “So beautiful,” he murmured.
She touched his mouth, his jaw, then sank her fingers into his hair to tug him closer. “Kiss me,” she whispered, rocking up to meet him, and when he sank into her again, she let out a sound of sheer relief. Between the dark night, the heat between their bodies, and the power of his thrusts, she was lost. Lost.
And apparently he felt the same way, because he tore his mouth from hers and arched his back to thrust even deeper, gripping her hips as he did, his gaze locked on hers, driving her higher and higher, watching her with eyes gone glossy with passion. He was beautiful, too, so beautiful, and then, with a surprised cry, she shattered again, and this time, took him with her.
It took a good long moment to come back to herself, and when she did, the night air was cooling her damp skin, blowing her hair in her flushed face as she lay bare-ass naked on a rock with an equally bare-ass naked man she’d known all of a few days holding her tight to him.
Oh, boy.
Sitting up, she reached for her top.
Beside her, Jared sighed. “Fun time over?”
She’d told him she didn’t want any strings, just this. She’d made sure he knew that, and yet she’d forgotten one tiny little thing—to believe it herself. Now she was fighting the urge to cling, and that was just disconcerting enough to have her needing to run for cover. “I should get back.” Yeah, that was it.
He watched as she slipped into her jeans and shoved her panties in her pocket. She pushed her hair out of her face and looked for her ponytail holder, but it’d vanished. Willing to write it off, she jammed her feet into her shoes.
“What was it?” he asked quietly as he rose. “The intimacy? Or the fact that you engaged your heart?”
Her entire body went from limp-as-a-noodle satisfied to drawn tight as a bow. “Not that I have to explain myself here, but I prefer not to lie around naked for anyone else to find us.”
“No one is even going to look for us.” He smiled grimly. “It was both. We got too close too soon, and you regret it.”
“I don’t do regret.”
“Right. You just shut yourself off.”
She turned to face him as he pulled up his jeans. “Shut myself off?”
“Sure.” He jammed an arm into his shirt. “That’s easier than facing the truth, right?”
“And what is the truth?” she asked, knowing she wasn’t going to like this one little bit.
He buttoned his shirt atop the abs she’d just had her hands all over. “That what we did got a little too close for comfort. And now you need to back off. You need to be alone, where you can tell yourself that no, you didn’t just nearly come right outside yourself because it was that amazing.”
She put her hands on her hips and absorbed that unexpected punch of truth. “A little sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
“No.” He laughed harshly. “Hell, no. It’s just that I was there, Lily, and I know damn well that’s not how it usually is. At least for me.” He shoved his fingers through his hair and just looked at her.
She knew what he wanted to hear. That no, hell no, it wasn’t usually like that for her either, but she was still reeling from what he’d pulled out of her. She was nearly staggering with it.
This was so not what she’d expected tonight.
She’d wanted a little escape, a little fun, a little oblivion, that’s all. Only what she’d found was so much more than that.
So much more.
Hating that he was right, about everything, she turned away and started back toward camp. “Actually, my usual MO is just to walk away,” she called back. Like she was doing right now, as a matter of fact.
“’Night, Jared.”
“Lily.”
She turned back and lifted her chin. “I warned you.”
“That this would be just sex.” He stood there watching her, hair standing straight up, eyes sleepy and sexy, clothes rumpled. Rumpled. “Yes, yes you did warn me, thank you. Your conscience can be clear.”
“I hope this won’t affect our working relationship.”
He just looked at her in disbelief, and yeah, she felt stupid. Working relationship? God. “Good night,” she managed around a thick throat, knowing she was being impossibly rude, but was utterly unable to stop herself.
She’d been looking for herself, and here she was. Pathetic. Weak. Needy.
And she’d let him see.
“If we don’t talk about it,” he warned as she turned away again. “You’re going to dream about it. About me.”
Yeah, of that, she had no doubt.