It is extraordinary what phenomenal sex does to a person. Pearl and Jack hadn’t returned until the wee hours of the morning, which meant Ezra and I had the whole afternoon and evening to ourselves. We had very much taken advantage of the situation. Pearl had been quiet about the fact Ezra and I had broken our friendship pact, but had seemed pleased with the destroyed state of our bedroom, quickly going about fixing items, since she had gotten the hang of it throughout the past week. Jack, on the other hand, had requested only that we change the shredded sheets once the mattress and headboard were fixed.
Ezra and I were both still in fine spirits a week later. Other than the few hours we were away from each other of a morning with either our punishment in the day care area or sparring with the Elders, we spent our time holed up together in our room, enjoying one another, or with Pearl and Jack, trying to keep their minds occupied from their loss. One was incredible, while the other was mentally daunting.
We were now following Jack and Pearl, letting them stumble about in their half dazes, wherever they wished to go. We had spent a few hours in the bar, so we were all a bit tipsy, which helped the outing some. Currently, we appeared to be heading toward the pools.
I held up a finger. “You do realize we don’t have bathing suits.”
Jack snorted. “Clothing’s optional in half the area.” He stretched his arms over his head, listing to the side. “A sauna’s all I can handle right now, anyway.”
Pearl nodded. “Sounds fabulous.” Her voice held the right tone, but her eyes were still void. “We’ll have to grab more drinks afterward, if we sweat the alcohol out of our system.”
Jack shrugged. “Works for me.”
My eyebrows lifted in Ezra’s direction. “Alcohol, naked sauna, then more alcohol. Sounds like a frat party verging on an orgy.”
Ezra grunted, taking a drag from his cigarette. “I’m all for the alcohol and bare skin, but my sexual needs are currently being met,” his grin was sensual, “so no orgies this time.”
Jack waved a hand. “Didn’t need to know that, man.”
Ezra shrugged, lagging behind. “Just saying.” I could feel his gaze on my ass. “Jack, buddy, I also gotta say they’ll be met again tonight.” A little growl sounded behind me.
I glanced back, even as Jack and Pearl groaned in exasperation, wavering a little on my feet. We were closing in on the pool area, so I gave Ezra a look telling him to cut it out. Well, at least, I did after I lifted my eyebrows, letting him know I was game. Very, oh, so very willing.
Making our way through the main pool area, all four of us ignored the few who tried to grab our attention, beelining straight to the sauna and hot tub areas. We were shit out of luck because all the saunas were taken. So we grabbed towels from a nearby table and started peeking in the rooms with the hot tubs, going for the next best thing. Definite chuckles issued from all four of us at the occupants’ blatant activities.
Until we came to a room where I froze just inside the doorway. My stomach actually churned as I saw a striking Vampire straddling…King Venclaire. My biological dad. They both appeared to be naked, their mouths stuck together. Like, I really shouldn’t see him kissing a woman. Nor should I see his hands gliding up her back while she moved up and down on him, doing God knows what under the water.
Thank God for the fucking water.
A tiny squeak made its way past my lips as I cringed and quickly back-pedaled, only to slam against Pearl who was squinting into the room, trying to see past the steam to who was inside.
Ezra muttered, “Oh, damn.” He also started quickly retreating, but my biological dad’s head snapped around to us. Pearl gasped, apparently seeing who it was, while Jack snickered quietly, but he quickly cleared his throat when Ezra elbowed him in the stomach. My hand was over my mouth, embarrassment flooding my system, but I was also grossed the hell out, the alcohol not sitting so well anymore in my stomach.
My biological dad leaned, covering the woman’s upper attributes, shouting, “Out!”
I squeaked again, turning and shoving everyone — yes, with some Shifter strength — the hell out of the room. I kept pushing them clear down the hallway to the farthest room with a hot tub. It was blessedly empty. Pointing a slightly shaking finger at their carefully blank faces, I muttered, “Not a goddamn word about that,” my shoulders hunched, “scene. Understand?” Kids weren’t supposed to see that shit.
Dutifully, they nodded.
Turning my back to them, I started stripping down, and immediately felt heat at my back. Ezra’s palms landed on my hips, his grip tight. My hands stalled behind my back at my bra’s clasp, trapped between our bodies.
Quietly, he asked against my ear, “What happened to being modest?”
I shrugged. “It’s just you three. You’ve all seen me naked before.”
A pause, then he grunted, releasing my hips. But he didn’t exactly move away, feeling him undress behind me. I withheld the snicker as he blocked me from their view, even though they were both turned away, giving each of us a semblance of privacy. I was most definitely still modest, but Vampires were even more so.
Moving to slip into the water, I kept my head down, not glancing in Jack’s and Pearl’s direction. Not that I really could with the huge Vampire directly next to me the whole way. I sighed as the heated water glided over my bare skin.
And was instantly dunked.
Ezra’s lips were on mine as he took us under the water, his tongue thrusting inside my mouth. He pulled me flush against him, his arm tight around my waist with his other hand on the back of my head. Surprised or not, I held my breath, giving him as good as he gave by grabbing his hair and rubbing my tongue against his. Even under the water I heard his predator growl, the noise muffled as his chest vibrated against mine. I was wrapped around him tight, legs around his waist, when my lungs started to seize for air.
Nipping his lip, I tapped his shoulder. He quickly brought our heads above the water, mouths separated. Gulping air, I wiped the water from my eyes, seeing Jack and Pearl already in, water up to their shoulders.
Jack grumbled, “Seriously? After everything we just walked in on?”
Ezra grinned, showing a little fang. “You can’t see shit under the water.”
Pearl flicked her finger at us. “Not with us in here.” She shuddered.
“Thank God the water was dark,” I murmured, hardly hearing her as a quick visual of my biological dad…ugh…nope, not going there. Ezra gently pulled me to the side, placing me directly next to him on the rock bench and pulling my legs over his thigh, one of his arms around my waist. “Next time, we need to tell him to keep it behind closed doors.”
His fingers trailed up and down my leg. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about it?”
I held my hands up out of the water in a stopping gesture. “You’re right. Never mind.”
Jack said lazily, “If I see this water rippling more than it should be right now, I’ll freeze your half.” His lips lifted in the barest smile as his head fell back in relaxation.
Ezra and I both chuckled, even as I grabbed his hand, which was beginning to wander up to my breast. I tugged it back down to my leg, hearing him sigh softly, his head also falling back, but more in defeat. I agreed with Pearl and Jack. No funny business while they were in here.
Pearl went under and resurfaced to brush hair out of her face, saying abruptly, “I miss him.”
Instantly, I whispered, “I know.”
“How do you two do it?” Jack asked, his eyes blinking open to stare at the ceiling. “How did you get past it?”
Ezra cleared his throat, speaking slowly. “It’s not that you get past it…” He sighed. “I’m not really the best person to ask this, because I went crazy for a little while when Felicia died, but for me…time and the friendship of you three have helped immensely. The pain isn’t so agonizing anymore. I loved Felicia, but she’s not coming back. I choose to live in the now, with hopes of a possible future — when I’m ready — rather than in the past.”
Pearl dunked herself again, which I realized was her washing away her silent tears.
“He explained it perfectly,” I murmured quietly, my own head resting against the rock floor, arching my neck over the tub’s edge. “That’s what helped me. Time and friendship.” I shook my head against the floor, stating bluntly, “There’s no easy fix to the pain of losing a mate.”
“Sometimes I wonder why we even have them,” Pearl whispered, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat. “I mean, why do that to someone when it hurts so badly when they’re gone?”
“The magic,” Jack murmured, grabbing Pearl’s hand as she brushed her hair back, both their entwined hands falling under the water. “We live so long, it’s supposed to be a gift to us, finding the one perfect person to live our life with.”
“I’ve never heard it put that way before.” Ezra tilted his head, eyeing Jack. “It makes sense, though.”
I blinked up at the ceiling. “I see the world through a crack.”
Pearl asked slowly, “Meaning?”
“I mean, I see the possibilities of a future after losing a mate. A truly happy one with another partner. Full of love and kindness and normal fights. At first, after Dominic died, I didn’t see that. All I saw was gray, a life I had to walk through. But now, through the crack, I see a world full of colors, a life I would love to walk through, not one I have to.”
“What’s stopping you?” Jack’s eyes were avid on me.
Ezra grunted. “The rest of the wall.”
I nodded, my head bumping his shoulder. “Exactly.”
Ezra stared at Jack and Pearl. “Once you get to where she’s talking about, which is exactly where I am too, you’ll see that fucking crack is so damn tiny compared to the rest of the damn wall.”
Pearl’s head cocked. “The wall is fear?”
Ezra nodded, but said, “Yes, but that’s not what you feel at first.”
“Disbelief,” I stated, not agreeing with Ezra completely on this one because I felt no fear.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Then shock.”
I nodded this time. “Then a sort of void.”
He murmured, “A big dose of wariness comes next.”
Ezra glanced at me when I stayed mute.
I shook my head. “I don’t know what comes after that.” Wariness was where I was currently at, the feeling fairly new to my system.
Ezra blinked, staring. “Ah.” He turned his attention to Jack and Pearl. “Hope and fear come next, hard enough to cripple you.” We stared at him, waiting for more. He had been longer without his mate than any of us. Farther along in the grieving process. He shrugged lightly, stating, “I don’t know what comes afterward. I haven’t gotten there yet.”
Pearl’s eyebrows puckered. “If you don’t know, then how do you know for a fact you can cross over to this mysterious colorful life?”
I gauged Pearl and Jack, remembering how I had felt in their shoes, and answered for Ezra. “Because it’s not just a possibility, it’s reality.” When they only stared, I continued explaining the best way I knew how. “The Coms don’t have mates, and although their marriages end in divorce too many times to count, plenty don’t. Instead, their marriages are long and full of love and children, and yes, full of normal everyday problems. It’s not perfect, but life isn’t.” I shrugged. “Really, the two imperfections — their normal marriages and life — only make them stronger.”
Still, Pearl and Jack stared.
Ezra sighed, tilting his head to murmur against my wet hair, “The Com reference only confused them, since they have never lived among the Commoners, even if it was fairly apt.” He pressed a kiss to my head, and then turned his attention to Jack and Pearl. “Do you think all of those families we passed by to get back here — including those with children – are mated pairs?”
The eyebrows of each came together.
“They’re not,” Ezra clarified gently. “And they are still happily married and were living wonderful, full lives before the attacks.”
“Huh.” Jack’s head tilted, his eyes staring off at nothing. “But, there’s a wall.”
It wasn’t a question, but Ezra and I nodded.
“I can’t see it yet.” Pearl’s head dropped back, staring at the ceiling.
“Me, either.” Jack cleared his throat. “They said time and friendship first.”
Again, Ezra and I nodded.
“And beer,” Jack stated, his head dropping back. “Lots of beer.”
“That too,” Ezra rumbled. “And once you’re ready…sex.” Smiling slowly, his hand cupped one of my breasts under the water, holding firmly even when I grabbed his wrist. “Lots of hot sex.”
“Ezra,” I whispered in reprimand, my body jolting when he pinched my nipple.
His grin only increased. “Hold your breath, sweetheart.”
“No, Ezra.” My eyes narrowed, placing stopping hands on his shoulders. Still didn’t help. I barely got in enough breath before he took me under the water, his mouth and hands in places they most definitely shouldn’t be with Pearl and Jack in the tub with us.
My God, did it feel wonderful.