My teeth ground together so hard I could hear them, and I resisted the urge to strangle someone. I wasn’t totally sure who might be my victim, but someone was going to wind up with my hands around his neck if the guys didn’t stop giving me excuses.

“What do you mean, you can’t find her?” I demanded, “You’re supposed to be the strongest Mages in the entire freaking world, yet you can’t find one woman?”

“If it were just a woman, we wouldn’t be having these issues,” Austin replied with a snap in his tone, suggesting he, too, was thinking about strangling someone. Probably me. “But she’s not. She’s a Ban Dia who has had several centuries of perfecting her magic. So it’s really not all that surprising she’s managing to hide from us.”

“Tell me what the message said again,” I ordered. Not that I didn’t already have it memorized, since we’d received it several days ago.

“Why?” Sam hissed, slithering into the room. “Did you lose your memory as well as your magic? Sounds like something a moron would manage to do.”

“Sam, I swear to magic, if you call me a moron one more time, I will take up taxidermy and mount your scaly ass on the wall. Is that what you want?” I glared at him, and the fucker held my gaze without blinking. Not that snakes really needed to...

“Sam, quit it,” Caleb snapped. “Go hunting for mice in the forest or something.”

Sam hissed a fuck you in my direction but did as Caleb told him, slithering his way out the back door and into the grass. Our “backyard” was massive; he was probably going to end up in a food coma from all the wildlife he’d find out there.

“Look, I’ll head back to the hotel and see what they have to say,” Caleb offered, rubbing his tired eyes. “Again.”

He followed Sam outside and had disappeared in a rune portal before I could call him on his snarky tone, which just left me to yell at Austin instead. The other guys were all out on various missions I had selected for them because I just couldn’t handle the lack of progress we were making on finding Bridget. She was the only one who could get the fucking bracelet off me, and until that happened, I was dead weight.

Without my magic, I couldn’t heal anyone else. I couldn’t create this army that Jonathan was so sure I needed; I couldn’t even heal myself. It was because of this that River had put his foot down about me participating in active missions with the rest of them.

If it had just been River, I could have won that argument. But it was a clear five against one, and without my strength or healing, I didn’t have a leg to stand on.

“How long is this going to last for, Princess?” Austin asked me in a quiet voice, his gaze locked on the black-ink pen in his hands.

“How long is what going to last?” I snapped back, feeling fired up and bitchy. It was pretty much the only thing I was capable of feeling these days. It was either bitchy or numb.

“This,” he repeated, looking up from his pen to give me a disgusted look. “All you’ve done since we found you at Jonathan’s is shut us out and refuse to discuss anything that isn’t directly related to ‘the mission.’ The only time we see any feeling from you, it’s this snide, snappy little Princess. So I’ll ask it again, how long is this going to last? Because I’ve just about had enough of it.”

My jaw dropped, and I gaped at him while searching for the right comeback. He was right, obviously. But none of them had called me on my shit so far. They’d just let me ignore the problem and pretend it hadn’t happened. That Wesley wasn’t...

“All right, let me know when you decide. In the meantime, I’ll steer clear.” Austin shrugged and stood from the stool he’d been perched on. Still I found no words to snap back with as he left the kitchen, and I heard his heavy footsteps heading up the stairs to his room.

From what little I had bothered to explore in the house, it had been clear that the guys had totally moved in. Their bedrooms were decorated in styles that perfectly fitted their personalities, and all their belongings seemed to be here too. Not that I’d snooped much. When it had become clear that there were bedrooms for everyone... I’d stopped. I couldn’t bear the thought of accidentally stepping into Wesley’s bedroom, even if he’d never been in there himself.

Right now, though, I heard Austin slam the door to his room, and seconds later, thumping music started up.

Fuck him. I was doing the best I damn well could! How dare he make me feel like I was being some sort of... petulant child? So maybe I wasn’t acting in the way he expected me to, but I was dealing as best as I damn well could!

Feeling fired up again, I stormed up the stairs after him and slammed open his bedroom door, only to hesitate when I saw him standing there in just his boxers with a T-shirt in his hands.

“See something you like, Princess?” he challenged me, and my mouth went dry. “Or is that a silly question, seeing as you haven’t so much as touched anyone in over a week?” He tossed his T-shirt onto the dresser and stalked closer to me.

“I just...” I needed to stop and lick my lips, which were suddenly like the damn Sahara desert. “I came to tell you that you have no right speaking to me like you did downstairs.”

Austin snorted a laugh, reaching past me and pushing the door closed. Trapping me.

“You know, not so long ago you wouldn’t have put up with that at all. You wouldn’t have let me finish my sentence without a fight, even if it meant you needed to punch me in the face. Yet here you are, trembling and confused. Sure, you’re saying the right things—deep down you know what you should be saying. But you don’t feel it anymore, do you, Princess?” He edged closer, and I backed up a step to maintain some space between us.

“Feel what?” I replied, frowning and really trying to keep my gaze on his face. He was right. I hadn’t let them touch me, and I sure as shit hadn’t initiated any contact myself. It still seemed wrong. Maybe I was just scared that it would break my glass house of pain.

“Feel anything,” he answered, stepping closer still so that he was towering over me. “Even this angry bitch act you’ve got going is just that. An act. So when are you going to let the real Kit back out? Huh? What is it going to take to break through those walls you’ve put up?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whispered. “I’m fine.”

Austin laughed a bitter sound. “Oh yeah? Prove it. Kiss me.”

“I’m not...” I scowled, looking for a way out but finding none. He had me pinned to his bedroom door and was calling me on my bullshit.

“Fine,” I growled. Rising up on my toes, I smacked a quick, lifeless kiss against his lips, then huffed. “Happy? I’m fine.”

“That was pathetic,” he sneered at me. “Why don’t you kiss me like you mean it, Princess? Or are you still pretending?”

Grinding my teeth, I narrowed my eyes at him to see if he was just pushing my buttons for the sheer fun of it. I used to be able to tell, it used to be so obvious when he just wanted a rise out of me. Now, though... it was impossible.

“Fine,” I snarled again, clenching my jaw even as I rose back up on my toes. This time, I pulled his face down to me as I pressed my lips against his, but still... fuck, he was right. I was still pretending.

“I can’t,” I admitted with a small sob, breaking away from his lips but leaving my hands on the back of his neck. “I can’t. It’s wrong.”

“Why?” he whispered back to me, his arms encircling my waist and pulling me tighter to his body. “Because of Wesley? Why do you think he would have a problem with you kissing me, Princess? He didn’t when he was alive.”

Austin’s voice cracked over that last word, and it was like a knife through my heart.

“He loved you so much, Baby Girl. Do you really think he would want to see you like this? Shoving all your pain and grief down and locking it away? Avoiding us? We love you too, and we loved him. He was a brother to us all. Did it ever cross your mind how we might be feeling?” His words were whispered in a harsh voice, thick with pain, and it was almost too much to bear.

“I can’t do this, Austin,” I replied in a small voice. “I need to get my magic back so—”

“So what? So you can save the fucking world?” His reply was bitter, and his hands clutched me tighter. “You can’t even save yourself right now, Princess. How do you expect to save the world?”

“I don’t know what else to do,” I admitted, feeling my walls start to crack. “I can’t afford to feel what I did before. People are dying out there. I can’t just curl up in a ball and cry.”

Austin made a noise of frustration, dropping his head so that our foreheads pressed together. “Maybe not forever, but can’t you just let me in for today? I promise the second you leave this room you can go back to this... robo-Kit. But just show me you’re still in there? That there is still hope of pulling my Baby Girl out of that hole?” His voice was anguished, but it was what came next that killed me. “I can’t lose you too.”

Releasing my breath in a rush, I leaned up and kissed him again. Really kissed him this time, letting him feel all the pain that Wesley’s death was causing me. More than that, there was the fear. Fear that I’d lose one of them next, and then where would I be? I couldn’t recover from that. Hell, I could barely recover from this.

“You won’t lose me, Aus,” I whispered, breaking our kiss but not moving more than a quarter inch from his lips. “I promise I’m still here.”

This time when our lips met, it wasn’t with that same bittersweet pain. This time it was burning heat and passion built off our heartbreak, a heat that I was sure would burn me before all was said and done, but I welcomed it. Anything to help me feel something other than despair.

Austin crushed me against the door, his mouth dominating mine as his hands held me tight to his body. His kiss was desperate and demanding, and I wanted nothing more than to melt in his hands and let him do whatever he wanted.

We were so far past the point of words, but we communicated flawlessly as he hoisted me up, carrying me across the room as my fingers tore at my own clothing. He was already in nothing but his boxer shorts, so I was way overdressed. That was something that I rectified fast.

By the time he’d thrown me backward onto his bed, I had already stripped off my T-shirt and bra, and it took him all of three seconds to grab hold of my sweatpants and yank them off along with my panties. Another two seconds saw his underwear join mine on the floor and my hand wrap firmly around his hardened length.

“Shit,” he moaned as I pumped him with my fingers. Shifting his weight, he returned the favor, sinking two fingers deep inside me, then withdrawing them to slick over my clit. The sensations set my whole body on fire, and I sucked in a sharp breath to keep from crying out as he sank those torturous fingers back in again.

“Austin,” I breathed, tightening my grip on him and bucking my hips against his hand. “Quit fucking around and fuck me already.”

He huffed a short laugh, nipping my neck sharply with his teeth before withdrawing his fingers and replacing them with the head of his pierced cock. “Yes, your highness,” he teased, but any response I might have given was cut short by his powerful thrust inside me.

The abrupt entry made me scream, and my fingernails dug into his powerful back hard enough to probably leave marks. Still, I wanted more.

“Shit, yes,” I hissed, wrapping my legs around his waist like an anaconda and pulling him in deeper. “Fuck me hard, Aus,” I encouraged him. “Make me hurt tomorrow.”

He grunted a sound that must have been agreement as he braced his weight and did exactly as I wanted, pounding into me so hard his headboard smacked into the wall. Waves upon waves of pleasure rolled through me. Exquisitely toe-curling, it was shattering all the walls I had built around my emotions, and I felt tears begin to slip from my eyes.

“Princess,” Austin panted, swiping a tear from my cheek and then palming one of my breasts. “Stay with me. Stay here with me. It’s just us now.”

Biting my cheek hard enough to draw blood, I nodded and swallowed down the tears. “Keep me here then, Aus,” I begged him, desperate to be in the moment with him, but unable to keep my mind from picking at those exposed wounds.

He met my eyes with his blazing green gaze, checking that I meant what I said, before giving me a short nod and pulling out of me completely.

My whimper of protest was cut short as he used his strong grip to flip me onto my belly, then haul my ass into the air so I was positioned on my knees with my face in his pillow. He didn’t immediately reenter me, but I was okay with the anticipation as he leaned over and grabbed something from his bedside table, then disappeared from view again.

Cool air breezed across my exposed cunt, and I shivered with desire, waiting for what was coming next.

“Make you feel this tomorrow, huh, Baby Girl?” he murmured in his deep, husky voice that made my nipples tighten against the comforter. “I can do that.”

Yes, yes, yes. My brain chanted encouragements, as all my mouth was capable of when I felt the warm metal of his cock piercing brush against my slick pussy was incoherent moans. Slowly, ever so slowly, he pushed back inside me, and I felt the scrape of his metal the whole way. One of his strong hands gripped my hip, pulling me back as he pushed in, setting a rhythm that was both torturous and mind-blowing at the same time.

“Austin...” I groaned, pushing back onto him harder.

“Shhh,” he whispered, and I heard the distinctive click of a bottle cap flicking open. Seconds later, cool, wet lube dripped down my crack and onto my asshole. “You said you wanted to feel it tomorrow,” he murmured, tossing the bottle of lube onto the bed and smoothing the slippery substance over my tight hole.

“Yes,” I panted, pushing back to keep his dick moving in me but also desperate for more.

His thumb massaged the lube around and then pushed inside, making me whimper with excitement. He’d teased with this before—so had Cole and River. But I had yet to take anything more than the two fingers Austin had just replaced his thumb with. Something told me that was about to change though.

“I think I need to hear you say it, Baby Girl,” he groaned, pumping his dick in time with his fingers as they stretched and lubed me in preparation. It was uncomfortable, but in the best possible way. My nerve endings were all lit up, and it was taking all the willpower I possessed not to spiral into uncontrollable orgasms right then.

I huffed a short laugh, as though my feelings on this weren’t already abundantly clear. “Austin,” I started, licking my lips to wet them as I turned my head a little to look back at him. “Please, Austin... fuck my ass.”

His lips twitched into a small smile, but his eyes flared with excitement. I knew full well that the guys didn’t keep secrets between one another; it was one of the first things River had told me, well before I became sexually involved with them. So there was a pretty good chance Austin knew he would be the first to hit this particular milestone.

Alpha-male asshole that he was, that was probably half the fun for him. Not that I fucking cared. I’d been thinking about what it would feel like ever since Cole first breached that private place with his thumb. And I’d be lying if I wasn’t dying to know what it’d feel like to have both holes filled at the same time...

“For once, Princess,” he chuckled, withdrawing his rock hard cock from my pussy and positioning the wet, pierced tip against my ass, “I’m not arguing with you.” He began to push inside, and I tensed on instinct. “Relax, Baby Girl,” he growled, tightening his grip on my ass cheek. “Let me in.”

Those simple words were so heavily weighted, meaning so much more than the literal interpretation. But he was right, and I did as instructed, forcing my body to relax and allowing him to push his way deeper inside me. At first I almost changed my mind. It hurt, but more in an uncomfortable way than anything else. Within moments, though, when my body stretched to allow this much, much bigger intruder, that pain changed to something indescribable.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Princess,” Austin panted, adjusting his grip on my cheeks and shifting his weight behind me. “Are you okay?”

“Uh-huh,” I groaned, arching my back a little to make him move. “Now fuck me, dammit.”

He snorted a laugh, but did as he was told. Starting slowly, he gave me a few, almost warning thrusts, which I met with enthusiasm, pushing back onto him and moaning like some sort of professional. Anal wasn’t something I’d ever thought I’d be into before, but this was next level.

“Something tells me you like this,” Austin murmured as he thrust in and out of me with the assistance of all the lube he’d prepped me with. One of his hands left my butt and slipped down between my legs, pumping into my pussy a couple of times and then circling my clit with teasing strokes. Close, but not quite touching.

“Austin,” I begged, grabbing handfuls of the quilt and trying not to lose my freaking mind. “I’m so fucking close.”

“I know,” he replied, pumping his fingers back inside my pussy and making me scream as he stroked over my G-spot.

That was it, I was done.

My orgasm crashed through my body with a force that left my knees shaking and my throat raw from screaming.

“Baby...” Austin groaned as my body trembled with the aftershocks. “I can’t hold out much longer.”

“So don’t,” I replied. “Come for me, Aus.”

“Fuck,” he cursed, grabbing hold of my hips once more and increasing his pace to something I knew I’d be feeling tomorrow. Shit, as if I could ever forget this.

When he came, it was violent and passionate, ending with him collapsed on top of me and both of us a sweaty, gasping mess.

We lay there like that for what felt like an eternity. Austin’s tattooed arms curled around me in a tight, possessive hug that made me feel completely safe.

Loved.

I knew my behavior had been driving everyone away; I wasn’t totally oblivious to the fact that it was tearing the team apart just as much as losing Wesley was. But I simply didn’t know any other way.

Austin had changed that though. He may not be amazing with words, but he’d told me exactly what I needed to hear in the way we’d just come together.

I wasn’t in this alone.

We needed each other more now than we ever had before. I was an idiot to think otherwise. Alone, we were each strong people. But together, we were indestructible.