Chapter 7
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers
Jack
The door was shaking with the force of Kodiak’s lunges. He wanted out so badly that I was seriously glad that Adam and I had reinforced the door when he had a break in three years ago.
Kodiak was a smart dog and I knew he’d know something was wrong. It wasn’t like Adam to leave the dog alone for more than his twenty-four hour shifts. Once or twice a shift, he’d run over to his house to let him out. Sometimes even taking him to the station with him when he could. He became the station’s mascot of sorts, and it was very rare for him to be by himself.
He was at the station the day that Adam died and even though he knew me, I knew that I wasn’t a good enough substitute for Adam. It would take Kodiak a while to adjust and I was hoping with Winter being here, he would calm down some.
I waited to tell Winter the story of Kodiak. I wanted to see if the memories would come to her on her own terms, without my interference. I’d give it a couple of hours to see how things went and if she still didn’t have any memory of him, then I would tell her about Kodiak.
Taking Winter’s hand, I set her to the side of the door, gave her a look of warning to stay put and opened the door to Adam’s house. Of course, I made sure to brace my knees first.
Kodiak hit me like a ton of bricks. One second I was braced with my legs planted firmly on the front porch and the next I had Kodiak’s front paws on my shoulders and his face in mine. He was licking me for all he was worth.
It took him a few moments to realize that there was someone else there with me but when he did, he was off of me in a flash and then doing the same thing to Winter. Only this time, he was much more enthusiastic about it. Like he was greeting a long lost friend.
Which, in truth, he was.
When Kodiak was just a baby, Winter found him on the side of the road, near death. It took Winter four vets before she finally found someone that would treat Kodiak. At first, she didn’t understand what, exactly, she’d picked up off the side of the road.
When the first vet turned her down, however, her eyes were finally wide open. The vet explained that he was a wild wolf, and no matter what rehabilitation they could do for him, he wasn’t a safe animal to have housed in a small animal clinic. They didn’t want to put their employees, nor the dogs and cats in any unnecessary risk, and turned her down flat.
She went through that three more times before finally taking him to an older vet that was well experienced. He did, of course, have conditions, and Winter followed every one of them to a T. The vet agreed to help, but, in turn, Winter had to take care of Kodiak. She did that twice a day, every day, for six weeks before Kodiak was finally able to come home.
However, since my apartment had a ‘no pet’ policy, and Winter was barely living at home as it was, Adam was the next choice. Adam was reluctant at first, but with Winter begging and pleading, he caved in his usual fashion when it came to a teary-eyed woman.
Kodiak wasn’t too happy with the arrangement at first either; it took adjustment on all of their parts, and Winter and I were over there visiting Kodiak just as much as we were at my own place.
It wouldn’t be until a year after Winter’s disappearance that I realized just how different Kodiak was. Adam used to write me letters explaining the differences in him. Seeing it with my own eyes and reading about it were two different things.
Seeing them together now, seeing how happy Kodiak was, was a real revelation. It was also quite sad, because when Kodiak realized Adam was gone for good, he might just spiral back into the depression he sunk into when Winter was gone.
Winter giggled as the big burly wolf dog practically tackled her to the ground.
“Hi, Kodiak!” She said enthusiastically.
I was disappointed, because the longer she was in his presence, the more I became aware that it wasn’t going to bring the memories back as I thought it would.
“Let’s get inside you two. We’ve got some plans to iron out, and then we need to get to the wake by six.” I said to both of them.
Winter scrambled to her feet, and fit herself into my side as we walked into Adam’s house.
Sights, sounds, and smells assaulted me; reminding me of what I’d lost. Adam’s prized sectional that was the site of so many laughs, was the first thing I saw as I made my way into the room. Then it was the pictures of us on the mantle. The picture of Adam and Winter at our wedding, where he stood in for me, saying the very vows that I painstakingly put every ounce of my feelings into.
However, the hardest, was the site of the dream catcher I’d gotten him all those years ago. In fact, it was nearly eighteen years to the day.
When we met, we didn’t get along so well. It was only when we were both nearly attacked by a dog that we became friends. He made a comment that he would have nightmares for years thinking about the dog almost biting his leg off. The next day, I’d brought it to him and explained the significance of one.
He’d cherished it. It followed him from his parent’s house, to his college dorm room, and finally to his home. Each time I saw it hanging in a place of importance, I was struck with just how much I lucked out getting him as a best friend.
Sure, we’d fought like cats and dogs, but that didn’t hurt our friendship. No, it strengthened it. Gave us firm building blocks that withstood the test of time.
Death was an unforgiving bitch though, and every day I would hurt thinking about what I’d lost. I was lucky to have Winter back, because, what would hold me together right now if not for her?
***
“Do you guys remember when he found the baby outside the station?” Paulo asked, wobbling drunkenly towards the bar where we were seated.
“Yeah! Did you see his face? He was so pissed! He saw the mom running down the street, but when the Chief started spouting shit about the Safe Haven law, he got it under control. The kid’s six now.” Donnie said, just as drunkenly.
We were about six shots, multiple beers, and a bottle of Jack Daniels down, and we were definitely feeling it. We needed it though. We all needed that release that talking about Adam would give us. Reminding us of the good times, and the bad, that we all had with him.
“He met him not too long ago. The kid was so excited to meet the firefighter who saved him.” Duncan called from further down the bar.
“Hey! Make some room!” Tai called, as he limped slowly into the huddle that was surrounding us.
Adam’s dad got up from his seat and moved it closer to our group, giving Tai a place to sit down. “Since you’re going to be a dumbass and check out of the hospital against doctor’s orders, you have to at least sit down.”
Tai smiled in thanks, but didn’t reply. Not that he could say much. He was doing it against doctor’s orders, but this was only going to be a once in a lifetime kind of thing, and he didn’t want to miss it. As much as I hate to admit, I would have done the same thing in his shoes.
Kodiak got up from his sprawl against the base of the bar and padded over to Tai, nuzzling his hand. Tai grasped onto Kodiak’s fur and gave him a bear hug. It had to have hurt, but he did it anyway.
It was silent, while everyone watched the interaction between Tai and Kodiak, but soon it picked up again. Everyone told stories. Each and every one of them tried to top the last one with even more embarrassing escapades.
I stopped them at the sex ones though; there was no way I wanted to have his parents listening in on how much of a slut Adam was.
Adam’s mom, Honey, came up to me when Winter excused herself to go to the restroom. My arm automatically circled her shoulders and I pulled her into my side. John, Adam’s dad, gave me a hard look like he always did. He wasn’t a fan of other men touching his wife.
However, I had a wife of my own, so he just gave me the ‘Watch it’ look instead of the full-blown intimidation. The man knew the score though. His wife was a knockout at sixty-two. She was a high school teacher, and the talk of the boy’s locker room, even now.
John always made an appearance three or four times a year though, just so the boys knew whom she belonged to and didn’t get any funny ideas. John was an intimidating man. At over six feet tall, he was built like a fucking freight train. He was also worked for the railroad and earned those muscles the real way, through hard work and back breaking work.
“I can’t believe she’s back.” Honey whispered to me.
I gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Me neither. I’ve woken up every night for the past twenty four days and stared at her for hours at a time.”
When Winter had first shown up, I’d immediately called Adam and told him everything I knew. Adam was absolutely stunned with the news. Although he’d been discreetly looking for why all these years, he never thought that she’d ever be found. That night I’d gotten a call from Adam’s parents and they’d expressed their happiness about having Winter back as well and were equally as devastated when I’d reminded them that Winter didn’t remember them, nor me.
Honey turned and stared into my eyes for a long moment. “You’re a good boy, Jack. You deserve to be happy. Don’t delay in making up for that lost time. You need to date her all over again, show her why she fell in love with you in the first place. Take her back to Kyle and spend some time there. See if that helps her remember.”
I’d thought about taking her back to Kyle while we were here, but something didn’t feel right about it. Everything was still so blurry as to what happened. What if the person who attacked her lived in Kyle? What if her sister had something to do with it? There were too many unanswered questions, not to mention she was sent from Shamrock to Kilgore by Sam’s dad for a reason.
Sam tried to call his father numerous times, but either he didn’t want to talk, or he couldn’t, and until we found out which, she was going to be kept away from Kyle and Shamrock.
When I looked up, it was to find Winter weaving through the throng of firefighters. They parted for her as if she was royalty. Most of them remembered her, but the same couldn’t be said for Winter. It wasn’t every day that a man married a woman for his best friend, and, at the time, it’d been the talk of Kyle, Texas for months following.
It was surreal to see someone you thought was dead. Adam had been devastated and I hadn’t made it any better by demanding he find answers. In fact, I only exacerbated the issue. Now, I could look back at everything logically, but then, I was a man that had just lost his wife and had no way to get home to her. No way to get closure. No way to do anything but rely on his best friend to fix something that he shouldn’t have to fix.
Winter stopped next to John and said something. John looked down at her for a few moments, and then wrapped his arms around her. They stayed that way for a few moments before he let her go with a kiss on the forehead. Winter’s cheeks heated before she burst out laughing.
“I think she remembers because she’s in a familiar environment. All these years she’s been somewhere that didn’t constantly remind her of her old life. Now that she’s here with you, and somewhere familiar, it’ll come back quickly. That doesn’t mean you can cut corners with her. You’ve both changed quite a bit over the years. Even when it all comes back to her, you’ll still be a stranger. I haven’t seen any of the old you in years.” Honey said sadly, as she watched Kodiak make his way to Winter.
His large scruffy head came up to her navel, and he pushed just hard enough to get her attention away from John. Winter’s arms came from her hips to rest on either side of Kodiak’s ears. She hugged him closer to her stomach, and then continued speaking with John.
I nodded my head, not really knowing what to say to Honey’s observation.
One thing I was sure of was that Winter was mine and I wanted Winter to be mine in every way possible. If that took fifty years, then I would do whatever it took. She deserved it.