CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
When Lila made it to the kitchen, teeth brushed and hair up in a ponytail, Burke was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of him, and another steaming in front of the empty chair opposite.
He didn’t look at her when she first came in. What with being busy glaring at all the packing boxes she still had to assemble. His expression was identical to David’s from the day before.
Was that it, a day? It felt like six months. Or a lifetime.
After David had dropped his bombshell about Burke, Lila had scooted him out, dragged on her coat and driven halfway to Kurt’s house before she chickened out and diverted to Jenny’s instead.
There, she’d curled up with her best friend for a long and draining evening spent discussing how emotionally constipated men were, and how they always thought they knew best, and how it was a good thing that Lila, at least, wasn’t afraid to go for what she wanted, because she’d given her heart to a man who was misguided enough to sacrifice himself for some ridiculous perfect future she didn’t even want, and yes, another margarita sounded like an amazing idea but just one, because she had to get over there and inform Burke he was stuck with her whether he liked it or not…and then she’d woken up in his truck.
And again in his arms when he was talking to Mrs. Kowalsky.
And then when she’d jumped into bed, he was fast asleep.
Instead of waking him up, Lila had lain there gazing at him for perhaps a creepy amount of time. At his beautiful plain face, his strong dark eyebrows and high cheekbones, and those adorable freckles that she loved, because they were so faint and he was so tall and private that she was pretty sure she was the only person who knew they existed.
She’d snuggled into him, rearranging everything she’d expected from her life, putting Burke at the very center of it, decided that this was the perfect future she wanted, and fell asleep.
Now Burke was sitting at her kitchen table in the sunshine, and Lila’s chest expanded with a burst of such sudden and all-encompassing love that she had to fake a sneeze as an excuse to duck out and grab a tissue from the box in the hall before she could face him.
She blew her nose, blotted her eyes, and strode back into the kitchen. Burke watched her over the rim of his coffee mug and, registering her intention, held it out to the side as she ignored the chair he’d pushed out for her and sat on his lap, facing him.
She took his coffee, set it on the table behind her, and placed her hands on his stubble-rough cheeks. “Hi,” she said, and kissed him.
He refused to open up, giving her a punishing closed-mouth kiss instead. “We have to talk, Lila.”
“Why? Do you, perchance, have something you want to ask me?”
“I do.”
“So ask me.”
Burke’s lips twitched. “Did you sleep well?”
“Like a baby. That one was easy. Ask me something else.”
“Do you want coffee? I made some.”
Lila twisted around, accidentally (nope, not even a little bit) shoving her boobs in his face as she stretched for the coffee he’d poured for her, and twisted back.
The crests of his cheekbones were flushed.
Lila ran a thumb over one while she took a sip of coffee. Burke held still, but his hazel eyes flashed dangerously. Lila sent him a cheerful grin and wrapped her hands around the warm mug. “Yum,” she said. “Now ask me something else.”
“Did David upset you yesterday?”
“No.”
“Did what he told you upset you?”
“Yes.”
Burke’s jaw tightened. “Because of what he told you?”
Lila took another sip of coffee. “No.”
“Because I didn’t tell you?”
“Yes.”
“Does… Does it matter to you?”
Lila put the mug down with a loud clink and caught his face between her palms. She rested her forehead against his. “No.”
“Do I matter to you?” Burke’s voice was low.
“Yes.”
He hesitated, his hands coming around her waist and tightening.
Lila released him and waited. When he didn’t say anything else, she poked him in the chest.
Burke let out a huff of laughter. He dragged her closer and sighed. “Lila. Will you give up your new job, your new apartment in Seattle, and the likelihood of one day having children, and stay with me here in Emerson, where I can offer you only what you see before you.”
“Damn,” Lila said after a beat. “Way to undersell it.”
Burke’s face was set. “It’s called honesty.”
“Not the word I’d use. Try again.”
Burke frowned. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. Try again.”
“Lila. Will you set aside your dreams for—”
“You suck at this,” she interrupted.
“You didn’t let me finish.”
“Was there any point? I can guess where you were going with it.”
“Lila. I want you to say no to all the opportunities—”
“I will make the rude buzzer noise next time. I’m not kidding.”
“Goddammit. Lila. Instead of a glamorous cosmopolitan life in—”
She made the noise.
Burke stared at her.
“We can keep doing this all morning,” she told him. “Or maybe I could ask me for you? Yeah, I think I’m gonna do it, because you’re getting all red in the face and you know how that turns me on.”
His fingers spasmed around her waist. “Lila—”
“Quiet, wench,” she said. “I’m doing it for you. Mouth along to the words if you like. Lila. Would you honor me—” She broke off with a gasp as he thrust up to his feet, taking her with him. He took half a step forward and dropped her butt on the table. Hard.
“Lila,” he growled.
She placed a hand on her chest, fingers spread wide, and said in a deliberately breathy voice, “Yes, Burke?”
“You will marry me.”
“Yes, Burke. I will marry the hell out of you.”
Burke kissed her. He threaded his hands into her hair, lifted her face to his and kissed her as if he’d never stop, his tongue in her mouth, a growl in his throat and his heart pounding against the palms she rested on his broad chest, before she fisted his shirt and hauled him closer.
They were both gasping for air when he pulled away in a series of small, biting kisses, finishing with a slow drag over her bottom lip.
“I can’t give you everything you deserve,” he said.
“Can you give me all of you?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation.
“That’s all I want.”
He sighed and sat back in his chair. Lila remained perched on the table, crossing her legs and swinging one lazily. He grabbed her ankle and rested her foot on his knee, stroking up and down her calf.
Lila repressed her shiver. It was time to be serious.
“Burke. We can discuss all of this in the appropriate depth when and if the time comes. I can’t, however, go on for a minute longer without making sure you understand. I don’t want to in any way diminish or make light of your…shall we call it status?…as a potential babymaker. When I say it doesn’t matter to me, I am not disregarding your reality. I am not saying I accept you as somehow deficient or less than perfect. My measure of a man has nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not he can knock me up, and god knows how that rumor got started, although I’m looking at Kurt.
“My measure of a man is based on who he is as a person. How he treats others. How he goes through his life, with honesty and integrity and compassion and strength.”
Burke’s aroused flush had faded. The heat in his cheeks now was down to his shyness.
God, she loved him.
“Why did I think that I’d get to do the talking when I proposed?” he said.
“Because you are a hopeful, hopeful soul.” She grinned. “I said I wanted a family.” Lila pointed at him. “That’s you. You and me. Oh. And David. Hey, I’m going to be a stepmom! Awesome.”
And she didn’t have to get her mom a puppy. She’d give her a ready-made grandson.
Burke studied Lila’s face as if to check she was being genuine. He must have been reassured, because one corner of his lips hitched and he gave his head an infinitesimal shake. You’re crazy. But I like it. He squeezed the calf he hadn’t stopped stroking, and swept his fingers up to play at the back of her knee.
“Do I want to be a mother one day?” Lila continued. “Yes. Probably. We can have a long talk sometime about how to make that happen. But know this much right now. I don’t believe that the only way for me to be a mother, for you and me to expand our family by having more children, is as narrow as me carrying our biological child. If it doesn’t happen, we have options. IVF, a donor, adoption, fostering. Love matters, not DNA. However we choose or do not choose to have a child, what matters to me is that it’s you and me choosing it, doing it together. Okay?”
“Okay.” Burke stood and leaned into her. He kissed the end of her nose. “I don’t think I’ve heard you be serious for that many words in a row.”
“That’s because you fired me before we got to the contract and paperwork stage of buying your house. I am very serious and impressive when dealing with such things. Oh, shit.”
“What?”
“Um…hah. Somehow in the middle of all this romance, I kinda forgot to mention. I already signed the contract for a job in Seattle.”
Burke paled. “We can do long distance. It’ll be tough, but there is no way that I’m—”
“Stop, stop.” Lila smoothed out his frown with a fingertip. “I signed a contract with a very nice woman called Susan. Not with Satan. I can break it without being dragged down into Hell. Pretty sure. And even if that happened, you’d come get me, right?”
“Yes.”
“So there isn’t a problem. I’ll look like a flake and maybe get my rep dinged a bit, but I can live with that. Whether I can live with all the hoops Allison is going to make me jump through to get my job back is another question.” Lila thought about it. “Yeah, she’s going to make me start at the bottom again. Office junior, photocopying and making coffee and stuff. Damn.”
“You ever think about going into business for yourself?”
She smacked him on the arm. “Good idea. I shall threaten her with a rival agency. You’re a genius. I’ll get my job back and I’ll get a raise.”
“That’s not going into business for yourself.”
“I don’t want to set up my own business. I’m going to buy Allison out when she retires. By then I’ll have raised any children we have or have not had, and be able to commit the time.”
Burke considered her for a quiet moment. “You’ve thought about this at length.”
“Hashed it out with Jenny last night. What? You think it was all sobbing and margaritas and romantic movies? Career goals and some basic financial planning were included. On a side note, we’re going to have to talk to your loan adviser. Once I’ve sold this place, we’ll have more capital to put into your new house. Um. Our new house?”
He tucked her hair behind her ear. “Our new home.”
She wound her arms around him. “You didn’t really think I was going to go through with leaving, did you?”
“You should have,” he said, lifting her up and heading for the bedroom.
“You beat me to the punch, Burke. I was coming over to Kurt’s tomorrow—that’s today—to tell you to pull your head out of your ass and marry me already.”
“Other than that, did you have anything else scheduled?”
“Nothing important. I thought I’d go to the coffee shop. Buy you a cupcake or twelve. Why?” He smiled down at her with such passionate intent in his eyes that Lila’s stomach clenched. “Or we could do whatever you’re thinking.”
“Depends. How flexible are you?” he asked.
“I think you know how flexible I am, since you damn near bent me in half last time we had sex.”
“Then let’s give it a shot.” They’d made it to the bedroom. Burke dropped her on the mattress and stripped his T-shirt over his head.
Lila held him back as he braced his fists either side of her hips.
“I have one more thing to say first,” she told him. “And I’m not sure how you’re going to take it.”
“Just spit it out.” He climbed over her and lowered. “I’m waiting.”
“I’m cautious.”
“Am I going to react badly?”
“I don’t know. Last time I tried it you were all, ‘no, don’t say the words, I shall silence you with my wild lovemaking skills and then release you like a butterfly. Fly free, Lila. Forget about me. Don’t look back’.” She flung out a dramatic arm.
“I am amused,” he said flatly.
“I love it when you get sarcastic. I also love your cute face.” His cute face was frowning. Adorable. “I love your big shoulders and your pretty eyes.”
His pretty eyes narrowed. “What are you doing?”
“I’m approaching carefully. Like a lioness. So I don’t spook you.”
“Lioness, huh?”
“May I continue?”
“Please do. Might want to speed things up before I find something to keep your smart mouth busy, though.”
“I love your dirty threats,” she said promptly and he gave her a dangerous look. “And your hands. Maybe too much? Could be something a bit kinky going on there.”
Burke pressed her down and lay on top of her. He kissed her.
“I love your smile,” she mumbled against his lips and was rewarded with feeling that smile curl against her skin when he tilted her head back and kissed her throat. “I love you, Burke. I love you. And also, I think you should let me call you Griffin, because I like that name and it feels very formal, calling you Burke.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Griff?”
He shook his head.
“Finn? Finn is sexy.”
“Are you done?”
“Almost. I figure one more comment and you’ll follow through on that intriguing promise to find something to keep my smart mouth b—”
And he did.