CHAPTER FIVE
Lila let herself in to her parents’ house with a cheerful shout. Neither her mom’s nor her dad’s car was in the driveway, but you never knew. Lila had walked in on enough awkward, embarrassing, and downright eye-popping situations in her career as a real estate agent that she had learned to announce her presence.
As this was her parents’ house and not a client’s, she went with yelling, “Your golden child hath returned to bless you with a visit!”
No reply.
Lila hung her jacket on one of the hooks by the front door, kicked off her shoes, hopped into the old pair of Uggs she kept there, and scuffed down the hall to the kitchen.
She was sitting on the counter, swinging her legs and eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon, when her mom’s white Jeep came into view and her mom jumped out.
Lila watched her mother plod up to the house, almost swallowed up by the enormous puffy pink coat she wore, a bag of groceries tucked under one arm. That uncanny sense she’d always had for where Lila was at all times kicked in as she neared the house, and she glanced up at the kitchen window.
Lila waved her spoon.
“Hi, honey,” her mother called as she came through the front door, rustling in her coat.
“Hi, Mom.”
Mrs. Baxter dumped her shopping on the table and attempted to pull off a disapproving glare. “How many times do I have to tell you, young lady? Not out of the jar!”
Lila grinned, and stuck the spoon back into the peanut butter. “I’m the only one who eats it.”
“That’s beside the point.”
Lila slid off the counter. “Can I make you some tea?”
“Sure, honey. Thank you.” Mrs. Baxter wrestled with the coat, which was almost as big as she was, and emerged red-faced and sweating.
“Isn’t it a bit late in the year to be dressed for a snowpocalypse?” Lila caught the coat before it landed on the floor and carried it out to the hall to hang it up.
“I like to be cozy,” her mother called after her.
Lila made the tea while Mrs. Baxter put the small bag of groceries away, then she took a deep breath. “Why don’t we go and sit in the living room?”
She wasn’t looking forward to this. She’d put it off for a few days, but it was time to tell her mom that she was leaving Emerson.
She didn’t anticipate this going down well.
“So what’s new with you?” Mrs. Baxter curled at one end of the couch and Lila perched at the other.
Lila set her teacup down and arranged herself in a deliberately casual pose. “Um. Not much. Let me see. Finished the arrangements for Jenny’s party. It’s on Saturday, don’t forget.”
Jenny had spent half her life over at the Baxters’ growing up. Mrs. Baxter was as likely to forget Jenny’s wedding celebration party as she would be to forget Lila’s.
Lila continued, “I managed to find a house for the Martinezes. And, I quit my job.”
Her mother jolted. “What?” It came out in a screech. “You quit? But you love that job.”
“Eh.”
“You don’t love it?”
“I don’t know. I think I do?” Lila slid down and rested her head against the back of the couch. “I like being a realtor. I’m just thinking maybe I’ve been one long enough. Here. In Emerson.”
Mrs. Baxter covered her mouth with a hand and mumbled through it, “You’re leaving?”
“It sorta looks like I might be. Yeah.”
“But why? I don’t understand. I thought you were happy here? Oh, honey, aren’t you happy?”
And that was the crux of the matter.
No, Lila wasn’t happy.
She wasn’t unhappy, either. She was content.
Content made her nervous.
“I’ve been thinking a lot recently.” Her mother nodded encouragingly. Lila continued, “About life and stuff. I took a hard look at what I’ve achieved. And what I’ve yet to achieve. Thing is, I came to the realization that I don’t have a place in Emerson anymore.”
Mrs. Baxter leaned forward, set her cup on the coffee table, and grabbed Lila’s hands. “Just because Jenny got married it doesn’t mean you’ll be pushed out—”
“This isn’t about Jenny!” Seriously, first Kurt thinking she wanted to snag him to father her children because of Jenny, now her mother thinking she was jealous of Derek or something? “It’s about…timing, I guess. Opportunity.”
“I don’t understand.”
Lila sat up, curling one leg under her. “I feel as if I’m spinning my wheels. I’m marking time. Mom. I’ve turned thirty. I can stay here and have a good life, doing what I’m doing and making good money. Or I can be brave and reach for something more.”
“What sort of more?”
“I don’t know yet. That’s part of the fun, part of being brave. I want new experiences. I don’t think Emerson has anything left to offer.”
Her mother considered her. “This is about boys, isn’t it?”
“Argh.” Lila thumped her head lightly against the back of the couch. “Fine. Maybe? Maybe I do want to find love. I’m a red-blooded woman. I have needs. Is that so outrageous?”
“No, honey.”
“I’m not saying I want to bump into the man of my dreams right now, and fall in love, and make babies, and get started with that happily ever after. I’m saying I’d like there perhaps to be a slight possibility that I could. And I don’t think Emerson is going to provide that opportunity. Same goes for my career. Remember I said that I finally found somewhere for the Martinezes? I’ve sold that house three times now.”
“Oh.”
“I have professionally lapped myself. I need more, Mom. There has to be more, and I’m hoping it’s out there.” She made a vague flailing gesture. “Because it sure as hell isn’t here. I handed in my notice to Allison. I’m doing this.”
“I could set you up with someone. There are some very nice men in my class.”
“College students.”
“Community college student. They’re not all kids. Some of them are quite mature.”
“Thanks, but no. And while that might solve my lack of a sex life, it isn’t going to solve my professional concerns. Because, again, this isn’t a hormone-fueled husband hunt to fulfill myself because my bestie has found the dream and for some reason that makes people think I want to fall in line and follow her off that cliff. I have to tell you, since I quit already and I’m committed to this path, the absolute last thing I need is to stumble into my soul mate. That really would complicate matters.”
Mrs. Baxter’s eyes filled. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’m not leaving yet.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She clutched her uterus. “I miss you already.”
Lila’s mother had had a terrible case of empty-nest syndrome when Lila left for college, and had been giddy with joy when Lila had returned.
“My nest will be empty again,” she moaned
And there it was. “Mom. Your nest has been empty for some time. I haven’t lived at home since I was eighteen.”
“But you’re here. In Emerson. And soon you won’t be.”
“Think of the upside. Your peanut butter will be unmolested.”
“You’re the only one who eats it. I buy it for you. And you won’t be here! I’ll have sad, unopened, unwanted jars of peanut butter in my cupboard.”
“I’m thirty. It’s time to unclench the maternal grip.”
“I will never unclench. Never. You’re my baby.”
“You can come up to Seattle all the time.”
Her mother brightened. “I could do with more culture in my life. Not that Emerson isn’t brimming with culture and opportunities and nice young men—”
“Mom.”
“—but I suppose Seattle might have a touch more to offer in certain areas.”
“Or San Francisco.”
“No!” Mrs. Baxter clapped a hand over her mouth, then tried to act all cool, like she hadn’t just flat-out shouted. “Um. That’s quite a trip from here, isn’t it? Why would you want to go to San Francisco, anyway? Think of the weather.”
“The weather?”
“They get a lot of fog.”
“We’re in the Pacific Northwest. When it comes to weather, we’ve got San Francisco beat. Eh, it was a thought. I was going to give Gabe a call and see if he had any openings in his real estate department, but maybe it wouldn’t be a good fit. I like to sell homes. I like to put people in homes. I don’t think I’d get the same job satisfaction buying and selling buildings and small countries and whatever else it is Gabe buys and sells.”
Gabe Sterling was a friend and an honest-to-goodness billionaire, although Lila tried not to hold that against him. He’d hire her in a shot, having tangled with her in a professional capacity before and thus being aware of her skills.
Her mother looked relieved. “I think you’d be amazing it at, honey, but I’m not going to lie. I prefer Seattle.”
“Like I said, I won’t be leaving right away. I only told Allison a few days ago. I’ve got to look for a job, put my house on the market…ugh. There are a thousand things to do.”
“It all seems like a lot of effort. Are you sure this is what you want?”
“I’m sure. And don’t tell Jenny.”
“Hmm. Is that wise?”
Yeah, Jenny would freak out at Lila for keeping this a secret, but come on. Jenny was deliriously happy with Derek and Kate and the new baby. Lila wasn’t going to allow even a hint of a shadow to be cast over her happiness.
Did Lila want to talk it through with her? Hell, yes. But it could wait until Lila had found a new job, had a solid plan. A departure date.
By that time Jenny would be so caught up in all the new baby stuff, she wouldn’t have the energy to be pissed at Lila.
Lila hoped.
“I refuse to spoil her fun, Mom.”
“I want to go on record as saying this is a poor decision.”
“Thank you. I appreciate your honesty.”
“Can I tell your father?”
“Nope. You tell Dad, the whole world will know. I’m keeping this between you and me, and Allison. It’s no one else’s business, anyway.”
She’d made the right decision, Lila told herself as she left her parent’s after staying for dinner and then hanging out to watch a fight on pay-per-view with her father.
She’d miss nights like this. She’d miss getting her coffee in the mornings from Megan, and meeting Jenny at Kurt’s, but while she loved all these things, she couldn’t deny the fact she was treading water.
She wanted—needed—more.
Since life didn’t seem inclined to deliver more to her doorstep, then Lila would get her ass out there, and she’d hunt it down.