Later that evening, Luke dropped the children at the farm, without explanation to his mother, except to say he would be back later. Then he’d gone home, readying himself to have a serious conversation with Mel. He’d been sitting in the kitchen when she finally arrived back, cheeks flushed and a triumphant gleam in her eye.

‘I’ve got a meeting with the regional manager of CBL Systems!’ she announced as she walked in and put her bags on the table, along with a bottle of wine. She noticed his lack of response and frowned at him. ‘You know, the company I’ve been trying to get a contract with.’

He gazed at her, anger sizzling through his veins.

Her hands went to her hips, confusion on her face. ‘I thought you’d be pleased.’

‘Yes, well done,’ he said, in a monotone voice.

‘What the bloody hell is wrong with you?’ She had that glint in her eye, the one that signalled trouble. He should have taken notice, should have moved, but he was so angry with her that he stayed in his chair, determined to get his point across.

‘I’ve just found out that the pictures of Anna are gone. All of them. And Tessa tells me you’ve—’ She flew at him then, fingernails clawing at his face before he knew what was happening, before he could dodge out of the way.

‘That bloody dead wife of yours!’ she screamed. ‘Why should I have to live with her face all over my walls? Why should I? It’s as if I’m not good enough. Saint bloody Anna. Like shrines all over the house, they were.’ And all the time she was shrieking at him, she was scratching his skin like a wildcat, his hands and face taking the brunt of the punishment dished out by her sharp acrylic nails.

‘Mel, stop it!’ He held his arms over his head and pushed her away with his foot before he stumbled out of his chair, managing to put the table between them. She glowered at him, fury in her eyes.

‘Not bloody good enough, am I? You just don’t care about me. Even though I look after everything. Do everything for you. I run the house, I run our lives and what thanks do I get?’

He drew a breath to say something to try and calm her down, but before he could speak, she grabbed her laptop bag from the table and smacked him in the face. It smashed into his cheekbone, sending shards of pain shooting through his flesh. He staggered backwards holding his head in his hands, gasping.

‘You stupid excuse for a man. You don’t love me. And you sure as hell don’t respect me, or you wouldn’t have had those pictures of your dead wife all over the house.’

She hurtled round the side of the table, the wine bottle in her hand now, and started whacking him with it on his arms and legs and torso, the extent of her rage seeming to have no end.

‘Mel! Mel! No, don’t, please,’ he begged, but there was no stopping her and the more he pleaded, the harder she hit him. Fearing that she was going to do him a serious injury he finally had to kick her away and run out of the house, glad that he had his car keys in his pocket. He jumped in the car, locked the doors and screeched out of the drive, his body shaking with the shock of his ordeal as he headed back to the farm.

‘Oh my God, Luke! What happened to your face?’ His mother clasped her hands to her cheeks, mouth open.

Luke gazed at her for a moment. He had no idea what he looked like, but his face was stinging like crazy, his left eye was slightly closed and there was blood all over his hands. His body throbbed where she’d hit him with the bottle and he wondered if she might have cracked a rib, every breath bringing a searing pain to his chest.

His mouth clamped shut while he tried to compose himself, feeling a bit light-headed with the shock of it all. He sank into a chair and closed his eyes for a moment, exhausted beyond thought, dragging his eyelids open a moment later to see his mother filling a bowl at the sink, the first aid kit out on the table.

‘Right, then,’ she said as she brought the bowl over. ‘Let me have a look.’

Luke felt like he was five again and actually, it was just what he needed. A moment in time to give up responsibility and let himself be looked after.

‘So, what started it this time?’

Luke winced as his mother dabbed at his face. ‘What do you mean “this time”?’ His heart was racing as his mind scrambled to find a plausible explanation for his injuries. ‘It wasn’t my fault. I had a… a run-in with a bunch of youths when I went to the shop to get a bottle of wine. They just jumped me.’

‘Hmm.’ Fay dabbed at his wounds and he looked away, unable to meet her gaze. ‘You may be thirty-four now, but I still know when you’re lying, Luke.’

He felt even more stupid then, for trying to hide the truth.

Mel’s right, isn’t she? I’m a poor excuse of a man. Tears stung his eyes. How on earth had it come to this? But he knew; she’d told him. He didn’t respect her, hadn’t thought about her feelings when he was thinking about the children needing a connection to their mother. He realised how insensitive he’d been and could understand why she’d been so upset. At least it was only his behaviour that she punished; he was sure she hadn’t raised a hand to the children because Tessa would have told him earlier. It was up to him to sort himself out and be a better husband.

His emotions bubbled up inside, blocking his throat and making it impossible to speak.

‘She’s done it before, hasn’t she?’ Fay said. ‘Maybe not this bad, but she’s kicked off.’ He opened his mouth to deny it but he caught the look in his mother’s eye and thought better of it. ‘I’ve seen the scratches. The bruises. You think I don’t notice, but I do. Why the hell you had to marry the woman, and so soon after meeting her, is beyond me. I thought you were intelligent, but this is stupidity, it’s…’ Fay’s jaw tightened and she shook her head, as her anger rendered her speechless.

Luke felt himself shrivel inside and wondered who else had seen through his lies. What about his work mates, his boss, the teachers at school? He’d given all of them excuses over the last few months.

He sighed and it felt as though the will to live was flowing out of him in his every breath, his body throbbing and sore, his mind swamped by regret. It was a little while before he could summon the energy to speak.

‘She got rid of all of Anna’s photos. Threw them away. I tried to talk to her about it and…’ He flinched as Fay dabbed at his hands. In all honestly, he was horrified by how quickly things had escalated, had been properly frightened about what Mel would do next when she’d cornered him in the kitchen with the bottle. That wild look in her eyes, the feral snarl on her face; she looked completely mad, somebody he didn’t recognise at all. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself but that only brought slicing pains to his ribs and he couldn’t stop the tears from falling. He’d made such a mess of everything, had let his loneliness and loss lead him and his kids into a situation he had no idea how to resolve.

His mother was right, of course. It had happened before. But each time, he’d blamed himself, knew that he’d said the wrong thing. Knew that Mel was struggling to slip into the role of wife and mother to two children who weren’t hers, children who were still grieving for their biological mother. It had all happened too quickly, that was the problem. He should have stood his ground and waited, done things more gradually, but Mel had been so persuasive. And although she struggled to know how to parent the children, and perhaps let her tongue run away from her at times, he knew she loved them. It wasn’t the children she wanted to punish, it was only him. So it was up to him to work out a solution.

He sighed. ‘What am I going to do, Mum?’ She looked at him, concern etched on her face, but before she could speak, Ted’s voice fractured the silence.

‘Ditch the bitch.’ Luke hadn’t seen him standing in the kitchen doorway, didn’t know what he’d heard, but it was obviously enough to know that Luke had been attacked by Mel. ‘It’s your house. Throw her out. It’s the only thing you can do.’ He waited a beat. ‘If you’re man enough, that is.’

Luke bowed his head, the feeling of failure making him want to go to sleep and never wake up. That would be the easiest answer, would save him from messing up his kids’ lives.

‘You know you can stay here,’ Fay said, lips pursed, frowning. It was a look Luke knew from his childhood, a look that meant that you didn’t argue. ‘The kids can have a day off tomorrow. You can’t possibly think about going back there.’

Luke squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears to stop, and told himself to man up. But his head was throbbing, his body ached and his thinking was blurred. He was the head of his family, it should be him in charge. Not his mum, or Ted. But it was clear that the dynamics weren’t like that. Not here. Not at home. Not anywhere. He swallowed hard, the heat of shame burning up his neck.

‘I have to go back,’ he said, dread in his heart. ‘Not tonight.’ He sighed. ‘I’ll let her calm down. But tomorrow, I’ve got to go back and see if I can sort this out.’ He’d be a failure if he didn’t and he’d be damned if he was going to give Ted another thing to crow about.

His mum nodded, weariness in her eyes. ‘It’s all been such a rush, hasn’t it? Everything so fast. I thought maybe…’

‘It’s a rebound thing.’ Ted finished her sentence, a habit of his that made Luke clench his jaw. Once again, Ted behaving as if he was Fay’s son, not Luke. He made out that he was closer to her, Luke the outsider. ‘He let his dick make the decision. We never thought it would last. Did we, Ma?’

‘For Christ’s sake, she’s not your mother!’ Luke shouted, unable to help himself. He hated it when her called her that, but his mother never stopped him.

Ted scoffed and put his arm round Fay’s shoulders. ‘’Course she’s my ma. Good as, anyway.’

Fay’s fingers went to her temples, her eyes squeezed shut. ‘Can you boys just give it a rest?’ She wriggled away from Ted and glared at them both, her eyes flicking from one to the other, her face an angry scowl. ‘I have been a mother to both of you. But neither of you own me, just remember that.’ She gathered herself and held on to the back of a chair. ‘I don’t want to have this conversation again; do you hear me? I thought you two would have grown out of this by now.’ Her words were enunciated very slowly and carefully, like a threat, as she looked from one to the other. ‘Do not make me choose between you.’

They’d had fights about this very thing when they were younger. Ted wasn’t a sharing type of guy and Luke wondered why he’d thought he would be any different fifteen years on. He knew in that moment that he couldn’t come back to the farm. He had to make things work with Mel, stand up for himself and prove them wrong.

A little later, when he’d been cleaned up as best his mum could manage and she’d filled him with hot, sweet tea to counteract the shock of being attacked, his phone pinged; a text message from Mel.

He typed his reply, determined to get to grips with the situation.

He wouldn’t take the children, though. Not until he was sure that Mel understood that this couldn’t go on.