Luke hadn’t challenged Mel about the dog. He’d told the children he’d died of natural causes – just one of those things. She hadn’t mentioned it either, but it sat between them, in the silences, like an uninvited guest at a party. Every day he psyched himself up to say something and every day he couldn’t face the inevitable fight. Maybe he’d asked for it by denying her a baby; that was a horrible thing to do, wasn’t it? But he was clearly a horrible person. He’d got everything so wrong. Bernie dying was her way of showing him what he was doing to her; killing her hopes and dreams.

He’d been aware from the start of their relationship that she wanted a baby, but now he would never be a father again. It was a necessary act of rebellion, one that would allow him to retain an element of control, while keeping Mel happy. Something that would put his mind at ease. And she’d never know.

He’d organised the vasectomy for an afternoon appointment and was surprised by how quick the procedure had been. He was still young, at thirty-four, to be doing something so final, but he knew in his heart that he didn’t need to bring another life into the world when he could hardly cope with his own. At least he could keep Mel happy in the bedroom department and take the pressure off without having to worry about her getting pregnant. It felt like a big weight off his shoulders while he worked out what he was going to do. It was time, he decided, for him to take control of the situation. It was time for him to protect his children, his family and sort out the mess he had created.

He’d moved back into their bedroom, which had delighted Mel, and for the last month or so, everything had been running pretty smoothly. At least he’d thought it had. Until he’d been reading with the kids at bedtime, a habit that had started when they were babies and he’d made sure to continue. It was their time, just the three of them. Mel had tried to discourage him in the past, but he’d stood his ground because it was something that Anna had started and he felt it kept the three of them bonded together, regardless of Mel’s behaviour. Tessa was turning the page of the book they were reading when he saw something that made his skin crawl.

‘What happened to your arm, sweetie?’ Tessa looked up from the book and hid her arm under the covers.

She shook her head, lips pressed together as if to stop any words coming out of her mouth.

He pulled the covers back. ‘Let me see.’ He picked up her arm to have a closer look and could see a cluster of bruises on her forearm. Round, like fingerprints. He caught his daughter’s eye, a question on his lips that he didn’t want to ask. ‘Was it Mel?’

Tessa chewed her lip. ‘She said I mustn’t tell you or she’d…’

Luke frowned, fire igniting in his belly. ‘She’d what?’

‘Break my phone.’ She looked at Luke with big, frightened eyes. ‘She found it under my pillow. I need my phone, Dad. You can’t say anything. You can’t.’ She was crying now, pleading with him, and Luke was appalled that this was what his family had been reduced to.

‘She broke my phone already.’ Callum picked at the duvet cover. Luke swung round to look at him.

‘Why did she do that?’

‘She said I wasn’t listening.’ He looked up at Luke. ‘But I was. I was listening. I can hear her and look at YouTube at the same time but she said I couldn’t and she told me I was a rude, stupid, pathetic excuse for a boy.’

Luke’s heart stuttered.

What else has gone on that the children have been sworn to secrecy about?

‘Then she grabbed my phone off me and threw it across the kitchen.’ He looked so defeated that Luke pulled him close. ‘It hit the wall and smashed into pieces. I tried to put it back together.’ His voice wavered. ‘But I couldn’t do it, Dad.’

Luke gathered his children to him. Callum under one arm, Tessa under the other, his heart breaking with the situation he’d put them in. His jaw clenched tight, breath pumping out of his nostrils as his anger flared. ‘Look, this is not okay. You tell me if anything happens. She’s not allowed to bully you like this. I’m going to sort this out, kids. Don’t you worry. I’ll get it all sorted.’

His stomach churned as he finished reading and tucked the children into bed before heading downstairs, knowing that he had to tackle her while he was feeling strong, before he could talk himself into backing down.

Make sure we’re in the lounge, where there aren’t so many things that can be used as weapons.

He caught his thought and his jaw hardened because he knew for certain now that his relationship was dead and nothing could bring it back. The kids had to come first and Mel was steadily destroying all of them.

‘Darling, have you finished?’ Mel looked up, a broad smile on her face. His spirits took a dive. Christ, this isn’t going to be easy. Where do I start? She got up and wrapped her arms around him, pressed her body to his. ‘I thought we could have an early night tonight.’ She ran a finger down his chest, stopping at the waistband of his jeans. ‘Have a bit of us time.’

He took a step back and the smile fell off her face, to be replaced with a frown.

‘What? What is it now?’

‘I’ve just seen the bruises on Tessa’s arms.’ His hands clenched and unclenched by his sides, the anger burning within him as fierce as anything he’d experienced in his life. Keep cool, he told himself, aware that he was on the edge of striking out. He took another step away from her.

Mel’s hands went to her hips. ‘She was being really cheeky and wouldn’t listen to me.’

‘But, Mel, you must have gripped her really hard to create bruises like that.’ His voice was low and ominous.

She stood tall and defiant, a finger jabbing at him as she spoke. ‘Your kids are spoilt rotten. They’re not easy to deal with when you’re not here.’

Luke took a breath, summoning all his courage.

‘I’m leaving, Mel.’

Saying the words out loud, he knew it was going to happen. Without warning, she launched herself at him, scratching at his face. He grabbed her arms to stop her attack, his hands circling her wrists, and she thrashed and squirmed, trying to get free. He grasped her harder, determined that she wouldn’t get away.

‘Mel, stop it! Stop it now. This isn’t going to solve anything.’

She glowered at him, lips pulled back from her teeth in an angry snarl. ‘You can’t leave me, you stupid man. You can’t. Don’t you remember? I know about your drugs. Didn’t Bernie’s death teach you anything? And you know I can take your kids from you, don’t you? I have photos, remember. When I get started, you won’t even have access, you stupid man.’

Luke tightened his grip around her wrists as he worried about what she might do when he let her go. He had to calm her down.

‘Listen, Mel, trying to fight me isn’t going to get us anywhere.’ He stared at her, and she glared back, still struggling to release herself from his grasp. He clenched his teeth as he fought to keep her under control. ‘Let’s talk about this. Properly talk.’

She glowered at him, but stopped trying to resist and after a moment, he let her go. She stood there, chest heaving up and down, and he took a few steps back, leant against the wall, eyes scanning the room for missiles. They stared at each other for a long moment before Mel crumpled on to the sofa and closed her eyes.

‘Luke, I know I can fly off the handle sometimes, but…’ She sighed and opened her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks. ‘Luke, I love you so much. I want this to work.’ She wiped at her tears with her hands and gave a shuddering sigh. ‘You have no idea how much I want this to work. I just… I just want a baby.’

Luke sighed. He couldn’t tell her. Not now, not anytime.

‘Luke, I think—’

The lounge door opened and Callum stumbled in, still half asleep, a wet stain clearly visible on his pyjama bottoms. ‘Dad.’ He looked terrified as Mel glared at him. Then she picked up a mug from the coffee table and hurled it at him, striking him on the cheek. Callum screamed and fell to the floor, his hands over his face. Luke dashed across the room to his son, and gently prised his hands from his face so he could see the damage.

Mel stood up, shaking.

‘Look what that fucking son of yours has made me do now! This is why our relationship is cracking up. It’s him. And her. They don’t want me. They’ve never wanted me.’ Her hands gesticulated wildly as she spoke, her voice getting louder and louder. ‘You don’t know what they’re like when you’re not here. They wind me up on purpose.’

Luke glared at her.

‘They do!’

Luke picked Callum up and took him upstairs, got him into clean pyjamas and settled him in the spare bedroom. He had a big lump on his cheek, but Luke didn’t think any bones were broken. His eye was closed, though, and Luke knew that he’d have a black eye by the morning. He thought long and hard while he waited for Callum to fall asleep, then he went back down to the lounge, his face red with rage, his heart pounding.

‘Mel, you need to know something. I can never give you a baby. I’ve had a vasectomy.’

‘What?’ Her mouth fell open, horror in her eyes. ‘You’ve done what?’

‘I had a vasectomy. I don’t want any more children.’

The dismay on her face was a small reward for the damage she’d done. He went to the spare room and locked the door, while he considered his next move.