CHAPTER TWO

Comfort

Watching Xavier muddle around the house, collecting documents and items from various closets and cabinets, gave me a new appreciation for his intensity. He buzzed from room to room like the mad scientist he was. I followed in fascination. The hangover of relief that overcame me with Xavier’s reassurance made me pretty much useless for anything else.

Finally, he took a deep breath and sighed, raking his hands through his dark hair. “There’s nothing here. I haven’t found a single thing to help us. Lydia’s journals were incomplete. I thought for sure the rest would be here.”

“Well, you haven’t looked everywhere, so there’s still a chance. This is a big house.” From behind, I smoothed my hands up his shoulders and kneaded the tight muscles at the base of his neck.

He moaned, leaned his head against the back of the chair, and exhaled a breath of relief. “Are you sure we can’t just keep doing this? It feels wonderful.” He grabbed my hand and kissed the palm.

“Come on. Let’s go see what we can dredge up. Besides…” I leaned forward and kissed him upside down. “Intensely focused Xavier is pretty sexy.” I winked.

A confident grin tugged at his lips. “Well…if I must go for your pleasure… How can I refuse? Lead the way, my queen.”

I led him to the sprawling staircase. He swiped his palm over the sculpted, wood railing and promptly wiped his hand on his pants. “We’ll be staying at the hotel tonight. This place is way too dusty even with the cleaning.” He waved, motioning for me to go first.

“We have some time left before we think about going to bed.”

He kissed the back of my neck. “It’s impossible to not think about bedding you.”

I shivered with the feel of his lips as his fingers played along my throat.

I followed him from room to room, switching on lights and opening closets. All but one of the rooms had been set up as guest rooms, with dusty floral print bedspreads and outdated bedside lamps.

He huffed in frustration. “Other than some clothes and shoes in the closet Lydia left here, there isn’t anything else.”

Resting my hands on my hips, I looked up toward the ceiling. “What about up there?”

“The attic? I doubt there’s anything.” He glanced up at the small door, his eyes narrowing with fatigue and scrutiny. “Besides, I spotted damage in the far bedroom where the roof has been leaking. It’s probably a mess.” He turned to head back down the stairs.

I grabbed his hand and raised an eyebrow. “You’re not going to look? Seriously?”

He laughed. “I guess you giving me grief is part of the package.”

“Xavier, I’m not saying it to be difficult. I just want to make sure that once we’re done here, we’re really done.” I turned and jumped to reach the cord attached to the retractable stairs, but I was too short.

“All right.” Without needing to stretch, he grasped the cord and pulled.

Plaster and debris fell down onto our heads. The hinges on the stairs creaked but the way to the attic lay open. Xavier reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, activating the flashlight feature.

We both stared at each other for a moment and cleared our throats from the dust. He shined the flashlight at me. “I’ll go first.” Ducking his head, he set his foot on the first stair and then the next.

I could see the flashes of light as the phone reflected off the walls.

He reached the top and stopped. My foot planted on the third step when he said on a whisper, “Elaine, you’re not going to believe this.”

“What is it, Xavier?” I climbed closer and placed my hand on his back.

He took the final step slowly, settling his foot on the squeaky floorboards. Reaching up with one hand, he steadied a light bulb dangling from a wire and then flipped the switch on the socket, bathing the dank room in a soft, yellow glow.

I climbed a few more steps, grimacing at the smell of mold and mildew filling my nostrils. Xavier reached down through the opening and offered a hand, steadying me as I stepped into the musty space.

Xavier moved forward, and I was finally able to examine the large room. All the things you might imagine finding in an attic of a home this age—dust, cobwebs, trunks, old luggage, rusted metal filing cabinets—decorated the space.

Running his hand over the side of the closest cabinet, he wiped away the dust on the black surface, revealing a word written in white paint—Veritas.

I stood still, remembering his words that night in Paris—My name isn’t even Xavier Vincent. I was born Patient X in something called the Veritas Project.

Moving farther into the room, my eyes scanned dozens of cabinets and hundreds of bankers’ boxes that had once been white but were now weathered with age. I stepped next to Xavier and took his hand in mine, giving it a slight squeeze. He stood still, gazing around the room at the vast amount of information that would need to be processed.

“Xavier?” I wanted to know what was running through his mind.

He bent and placed a kiss on my forehead. “It’s going to take me a month to get through all of this.”

“I can help.”

He wrapped his arm around my waist. “Let’s take a look and get a feel for what all of this might be. Why don’t you start over there?” He pointed to the collection of drawers to my right.

I stepped over a rumpled cloth on the floor, and the wooden planks moaned under my weight.

The cabinet before me was the same as the others, black with white lettering. Each drawer featured a silver frame and a handwritten tag displaying an alphanumeric sequence. I dragged my sleeve along the handle, ridding it of years of grime and opened the middle drawer.

The screeching of rusted wheels sliding on metal tracks sounded from behind me. The moisture from the leaking roof had taken its toll on the room’s contents. Xavier rustled paperwork. “These look like medical records.”

I pulled a manila folder from the middle of the files. “Newspaper clippings here.” After tucking the articles carefully back into the same place I found them, I checked several more folders. The numbering system didn’t seem to make any sense.

The hours flew by as we took stock of the room’s contents. I blew the filth from the top of a water stained cardboard box and lifted the lid. More files. Birth records. A folder labeled W152-7HT-953 gave me pause. Instead of containing one birth record, it contained two, but it wasn’t the number that drew me up short. “Xavier?”

“Yes?”

“What was Samantha’s last name?”

“Goslyn.” His shifting footfalls caused the floorboards to groan.

“Come here.”

A drawer slammed shut, and I felt his hand on the small of my back. “What did you find?”

I held the file open so that he could view the contents. In my hands lay copies of birth certificates for Anne Goslyn and Samantha Goslyn, born twenty minutes apart.

The gentle hand that Xavier rested on my back curled into a fist, clutching my shirt inside it. “So, Samantha wasn’t just convenient because she was my girlfriend. She had been under their influence all along.” He flipped the paper over to check the back and then returned it right side up. His jaw tensed and he released a barely audible growl.

I closed the folder, laid it on top of the open drawer, and turned to wrap my arms around him. Looking up, I tried to capture his gaze, but his forlorn stare made it impossible. “Xavier?”

“Yes.” His voice was soft and the response distant.

“Look at me.”

In slow motion, he lowered his head, still lost in thought.

I stroked my hand up and down his back, trying to comfort him, trying to pull him from the dark thoughts that gripped him. “I can’t fix what happened, but I can assure you that everything you have with me is real. Even if they somehow orchestrated you crossing my path, everything beyond that was my choice.” I clutched his hand to my chest, grasping his arm in both of mine, trying to strengthen our connection. I needed him to know he wasn’t alone.

He closed his eyes. “I know. That’s what keeps me going.” He looped his arms tight around me, pulling me to his chest. “I need you, Elaine, so much it scares me.”

“I need you too.”

“No, you don’t understand. They aren’t just words. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here to ground me. You are the first thing on my mind, always, and it softens me to everything else. Just knowing you’re mine shields me from all this mess.”

I squeezed my arms around him. “Let’s keep digging through this for awhile and see what else we can find. I’ll grab an empty box over there, we can toss anything of interest into it, and then we can take it downstairs where it’s less musty.”

He kissed the top of my head and conceded. “OK. Put the folder with Samantha and Annie’s information in there. I want to take a closer look.”

“Certainly.” I nodded and leaned back smiling up at him.

He released me and returned to the cabinets on the far wall.

I gathered an empty box and set it between us. As the hours dredged on, the box became stuffed with folders overflowing with the evidence of the ultimate betrayal.

After rummaging in quiet assessment for some time, Xavier finally spoke. “This all seems to suggest that the breeders, well at least the women that volunteer to have the Society’s children, are relatively new. The volunteering is, anyway. There are records of breeding that date back to the turn of the century. And did you notice that everything in here is a photocopy. The technology isn’t the greatest, so it’s almost as though this room is a backup of something else. If I were to guess, this was all brought here ten or fifteen years ago, or at least copied then. The question is… Did Lydia bring it here after I was gifted the house, or did these files belong to my adopted parents?”

He walked to me, and when I rose from closing the bottom drawer, he kissed the back of my neck, causing me to shiver. “Let’s go downstairs.” He turned and hoisted the box, brimming with files up off the floor. “We could be at this for a week.” He smiled. “I’ll go through things, and then we can head to the hotel. In the morning, I’ll take you back to the city. I know you wanted to see if your father had any answers. I’ll come back here later to go through the rest.” He nudged his chin toward the stairs and waited until I was back on the second floor before turning out the light.

Under the light of the dining room chandelier, with flickering bulbs meant to resemble candles, Xavier pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. It was the first time I had ever seen him wear them, and he looked even more studious.

He exhaled a heavy, frustrated breath, laced his fingers through his hair, and leaned back in his chair.

I walked to his side of the table and stood behind him. “Are you OK?”

“Yes, I just can’t believe how insidious this all is.”

“They all must be high on power. What kind of people think it’s OK to use other people as pawns in their game? There’s no consent, only deception.”

I leaned down and draped my arms around his neck, while scanning the incriminating documents strewn across the table. “It’s a cult. There are well-documented cases of atrocities committed by cults. Enough people tell you something is normal, you’ll believe it. Religion thrives on the concept.” He stretched and yawned.

I remembered his comment from earlier and craved a connection with him that had nothing to do with the Society. “Maybe you need a break.” I straightened, and slid my hands up and down his arms before setting a steady squeezing and release of the muscles at the base of his neck.

“I really need to finish looking through this box.” He groaned on a shaky exhale. But instead of reaching for another folder, he eased back, slouching deeper in his seat while my hands worked his tense shoulders.

Touching him was such a simple thing to do, but it seemed odd to indulge in an act so normal and comforting after all we had been through. This was what we were missing—something to fill the gap between love and lust. We had been each other’s distraction. The other’s passion. What we needed now was sanctuary—that all-consuming solace that could only be found in each other.

A sustained hum echoed from his chest. “Elaine, that feels so good.”

“I’m glad. I wish there was more I could do to help you.” I concentrated on the tender spot where his neck and his shoulders joined, pressing a thumb against the tight, corded muscle.

“Oh, you’re helping.” Another groan. “So wonderful.”

I pressed hard on his left shoulder and then the right, stretching the skin and kneading the muscle.

He leaned his head to the side, giving me better access. “But there’s so much…”

“Shhh… Just relax, you’ve been at this all day.” I reached up, removed his glasses, and placed them on the table. “Close your eyes.”

Tipping his head back to rest against my chest, he did as I asked. My fingers caressed his temples. My thumbs smoothed across his forehead, cheekbones, and the bridge of his nose, applying pressure with each pass. Cupping each stubbled cheek, I rubbed the outline of his jaw with my thumb.

“I love you so much.” He let out a breathy whisper.

I ran my thumb along his bottom lip, and he placed a light kiss on the tip of it. My hands played over his chin, along the firm ridges of muscle lining his neck, and he visibly relaxed with every touch. Sighs, moans, and sounds of contentment escaped when I snaked my hands under his shirt and traced my fingers along his collarbone, brushing through the fine dusting of hair on his chest.

He clasped my hands, holding me to him, his heart beating against my palm.

I leaned down and nibbled his bottom lip in an upside down kiss, his chin stubble tickling my nose.

He moaned again.

When I released him, he breathed, “I’ve dreamed of this, but never thought it could be anything more than a fantasy. And here you are.” He raised both of my hands to his mouth and kissed each one. The legs of his chair scraped against the floor as he slid it away from the table and turned it enough to maneuver me into the space between his knees. His hands encircled my waist, thumbs rubbing back and forth over the crest of my hips and his eyes focused upward on mine.

I bent and kissed his forehead, his nose, and finally his lips.

He gripped the hem of my shirt in his hands and pulled me closer.

Leaning back for a moment, I forged a plan, but he misinterpreted my actions.

“I’m sorry… I…”

I covered his mouth with mine, swallowing his words. I bent my knees, kneeling before him and began trailing kisses down his throat.

His deep, throaty groan vibrated my lips. “What are you doing?”

My hands smoothed over his chest and rested on his wide spread thighs. I shot him a wicked grin. “I’m loving you.”

He brushed the dark strands of hair from my face. “Oh, I know that. I’ve never been so loved. I wish I could capture this moment so I never forget what this feels like.”

“Better yet, how about we make a pledge to always make time for this.”

He crushed his mouth against mine, clutching my head, holding me to him.

A frenzied mashing of lips, grazing teeth, and dancing tongues left Xavier panting against my mouth. With his lips barely touching mine, he breathed, “Marry me, Elaine.”

I chuckled. “How can you even think of that with everything else going on?”

“Because I won’t let them dictate our lives. Society or no Society, I want you to be my wife. I want to give you the world—a future that will make everything you’ve endured for loving me worth it.”

“What makes you think it hasn’t been worth it so far?” I slid my hands along his inseam until they could go no farther. I grasped his cock through his pants.

He gasped. “Ummm… Elaine… ahh…”

I undid the top button and lowered his zipper as our mouths danced. I snaked my hand into his boxers and his breath hitched. “You don’t…”

“Shh… I want to.”

His protest died on a whimper.

“Let me do this for you.”

“Elaine…” He said my name like a prayer.

I pulled out his cock, hard and thick. “Xavier, watch me. Don’t take your eyes off me.” Stroking my hand up and down his length, I stared up at him.

His hand cupped the side of my face, our gazes locked.

Each time his cock glided through my fist his expression grew darker. Breathy sighs left his lips.

“I want you to clear your mind. Think of nothing else but what I’m going to do to you. About how I’m going to wrap my lips around your cock. About how I’m going to slide you in and out of my hot, wet mouth until you come.”

He moaned. “Elaine…”

I dipped my head and closed my lips around the head of his cock, applying a slight suction.

His hips shifted forward and his fingers played down my neck, causing a shiver to run through me. He closed his eyes for a moment. “So good.”

With his shaft gripped in one hand, I licked the salty droplet from the tip and ran my tongue along the ridge. When I reached the sensitive underside, I flicked my tongue in teasing strokes. Lifting my gaze to meet his intense scrutiny, I engulfed him again, lubricating my efforts. I slid my mouth up and down his length several times and then smoothed the moisture over his rock hard cock, gliding him through my fist.

He groaned and cupped my head between his hands. “I never imagined it could be like this.”

I released him for a moment and said, “Well… I’m just warming up.” I winked. “I’m not even to the good part yet.” I licked the sensitive underside, dragging my tongue up and over the head.

He laced his fingers through my hair and gathered it in his hand, holding it atop my head while my mouth worked him.

He breathed deeply. “That’s not what I meant.” He sucked air between his gritted teeth while I pistoned him in and out of my mouth with slow steady motions. “This is certainly wonderful.”

His legs stiffened when I cupped his balls with my other hand.

“God…that’s good.” He tossed his head back. His rapid breaths halted long enough for him to speak, “But I meant, just being with you like this. Before this, when you were just touching me.”

I couldn’t help myself. I paused and allowed him to fall free from my lips, and grinned. “Do you want me to stop, I mean…”

His hand tightened in my hair. “Don’t even think of stopping now.” He tried to hide his amusement behind a growl.

“What do you want me to do, Xavier? How shall I serve my king?”

“Fuck. Elaine…”

I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock. “What’s the matter, doctor? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a loss for words.”

His gaze intensified. He yanked my head back and leaned forward so that his lips were at my ear. “I want you to keep fucking me with that beautiful mouth of yours until I come. And when I do, I want you to swallow every last drop. Is that clear?”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Oh yes. Crystal clear.” I enveloped him and set a slow and steady rhythm.

Moans echoed through the room, and his hand tightened in my hair with each stroke that brought him closer to climax.

I slipped my free hand underneath his balls, and with one finger caressed the smooth patch of skin just beyond them, applying pressure to the sensitive spot.

“God, Elaine…” A rumble worked its way through his tightened jaw.

I continued my slow, even pace, applying more pressure between his legs, until I felt him tense. Each time he breached my lips, audible wet sounds mixed with his sighs of contentment. I knew he was close. Staring up into his eyes, I freed him for a moment to say, “Xavier, remember the Rainmaker—our first kiss. I want to taste you again. Give me all of you.”

He growled and fisted my hair tighter. “Oh, I remember. But this time…” he hissed, pistoning in and out of my mouth, “I’m gonna be inside you—your mouth.” His cock pulsed.

I increased my pace and kept my eyes fixed on his gaze as my mouth worked his length with quick, confident strokes.

“Oh God… You are so fucking beautiful. And you’re mine.”

Nothing but adoration reflected back at me while he watched every move I made.

Moving faster, I pressed harder between his legs.

“Fuck… Elaine. So good.”

Squeezing his shaft tighter, I felt his legs stiffen around me.

“I’m… I’m going to come. Swallow me. All of me.”

I took pleasure in his tightening features, flushed face and stiff muscles as I prepared to receive his gift. A growl escaped his lips as thick, salty spurts filled my mouth. I maintained my rhythm, milking him of all he had to give, allowing the viscous streams to coat my tongue and throat. He throbbed in my mouth, his legs rigid as his hand pulled my hair while he crested and fell.

I swallowed every last drop and licked the final remnant from his skin. With soft, slow, lazy motions, I continued to stroke him with my hand, and sat up on my knees.

He stared at me with reverence in his gaze. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love you.” Wrapping his arms around me, he pulled me closer. His chest rattled with a contented sigh.

After a few more strokes, I tucked his cock back into his pants, zipped and buttoned them.

He stole my breath with another frantic kiss.

Gripping my shoulders, he eased back and focused on my mouth. “I can taste me on your lips. I never imagined how erotic that would be. To have proof you savored me.” He brushed the hair out of my face and cradled my cheek with his palm. “Let me return the favor.”

I smiled and leaned in to press a quick kiss on his lips. “We’ve got plenty of time for that. I really didn’t mean to distract you, but you have been working so diligently, and I wanted to give you a break.”

He stroked his thumb along my lip. “Thank you.” He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again slowly. “I can’t even begin to explain what you mean to me. Please don’t ever doubt my devotion to you.” He looped his arms around me, squeezing. “I can’t live without you now. I need you more than air.” He exhaled into my hair, loosening his hold to rub circles on my back.

I patted his shoulder. “I’ll let you get back to work.” Standing, I tried to pull away, but his arms held me.

He stared up into my eyes. “Elaine, is this how it’s going to be?”

“What do you mean?”

“You being near me. Us together. Your touch. Your love.”

“It is, if that’s what you want.” His intensity was unnerving.

He gripped me tighter. “It is. What about you?”

“Yes. This is nice.” I smoothed my hands down his arm.

“Marry me.”

I laughed. “Xavier, less than twelve hours ago, you were questioning my motives for meeting with Oscar.”

“No, you’re wrong. I had faith that every ridiculous doubt that passed through my mind was wrong.”

“I’ll be honest. I’ve been through so much in the past month that I’m not sure of anything. Even though I wanted to believe that you’d never choose the Society over me, the incident with Marco hasn’t healed. I need time.”

He grabbed my hands and kissed them. “OK. I’ll wait. If I have to wait forever, I will.”