Chapter Eight
Blake parked on the broken, twisted driveway. As he stepped outside, he took in the smell of gasoline overlaid with something sweet—chocolate. With the peeling paint and broken step, it was grim. Hard to imagine a young Erin bounding home from school with a backpack slung over her shoulder and a cheeky grin on her face. This wasn’t a place that inspired smiles.
But that’s what Sophia was doing when she opened the door—smiling. She had a huge smile on her face as she embraced her daughter.
“Mama, I missed you so much.”
Sophia turned to him, and he was shocked to see tears in her eyes.
Then Sophia collected him in a hug. Somehow it happened exactly like that despite her being shorter and smaller—he found himself embraced and even squished by her. After a beat of surprise, he hugged her back. Erin looked at them with tears in her brown eyes—so like her mother’s—and he knew this was how they both looked when they were happy.
His voice was surprisingly thick when he said, “It’s good to see you, Mrs. Raider.”
In his life he’d been a son and a boyfriend and a fiancé. But he had never been hugged, only hugged, until Erin. And her mother.
“You don’t know how much I worried about Erin,” she said. “She is so strong, too strong. I worried she wouldn’t let anyone in.”
It felt like she was giving him her blessing, and it was a gift. He was grateful when she didn’t make him respond, just nodded as if something had been decided there in that dingy hallway.
He picked up their bags and followed both women inside.
In the bright light of the kitchen, Sophia gasped. “Erin, what happened to your face?”
Guilt raced through him because across her jaw was a raw, red mark from the tree. Apparently his own scars couldn’t shock Mrs. Raider, but the evidence of their sex would need to be explained.
A pink blush covered Erin’s cheeks. “We took a detour to a hiking spot Blake knew. I ended up face-first in a tree.” She sent Blake a secret smile. “Clumsy.”
Sophia seemed to consider her daughter. After a moment, she relaxed. “I’ll get some ointment. It doesn’t look too deep, but just to be sure. Meanwhile both of you have a seat. And have some cookies.”
He and Erin obediently sat at the small kitchen table where a plate of warm cookies sat waiting for them.
She grinned at him as she took one. “Busted.”
He blinked. The sex? “Your mom didn’t know.”
Erin took a bite. “She knows.”
“No way.”
“I got my Trailblazer patch when I was eight. I’ve hiked all year round. I don’t run into trees. But don’t feel bad. She knew and she let you stay. That means you’re in.”
A warm, full feeling entered his chest. It didn’t help that the cookie tasted like sugar and heaven. This felt a little like he’d thought home should feel. And family. And a childhood he’d never had. In some ways he’d grown up privileged, and for that he felt both shame and gratitude. But in other ways, he’d never known until now the quiet, powerful contentedness of belonging.
* * *
Erin lay awake, unable to sleep, even as Blake rumbled peacefully through a dream behind her. A few minutes later she gave up and carefully slipped out of his arms. She padded out of the bedroom to find her mother sitting on the sofa with a book open in her lap, eyes staring sightlessly in front of her.
She snapped her attention to Erin as she entered. “What’s wrong? Do you need something to eat?”
Erin laughed softly. “Definitely not. You stuffed both of us full of lasagna. And then cake.”
Her mother couldn’t hide her pleased look, almost smug. She enjoyed feeding people, and had especially liked the way Blake could pack it away. “I can give you the recipe.”
“The lasagna, yes. I don’t think I should bake that cake, not when Blake and I can eat almost the entire thing in one sitting.”
Her mother patted the cushion beside her. “Come sit then, if you’re having trouble sleeping.”
Erin sat down on the worn couch. She’d spent hours here, studying for a test or watching TV or reading quietly beside her mother. This couch was more her home than the city or the house ever had been. And so it gave her the strength to bring up the topic that had kept her awake.
“Mama, remember I told you that Blake is Senator Morris’s son.”
Her mother grew still. “Yes, I remember.”
“And I know you used to work for them once.”
“Yes.” The word came softer now. It sounded almost afraid, and Erin didn’t want to continue. She didn’t want to be the one to hurt her mother, but she couldn’t continue as if she didn’t know.
“Blake’s father told him that you two were… involved.”
A long silence with only the distant, muffled sound of a slamming car door to fill it. “That’s true,” her mother finally said. “I was young… not as young as you. But much more foolish than you.”
Erin frowned. “It’s not foolish to fall for someone, even if they’re not a good man. We can’t control who we love. You taught me that.”
“That’s right, but you should know, Jeb—Mr. Morris—was a good man. He just made a mistake. There’s a difference.”
“A mistake? He let you get thrown out. He didn’t defend you.”
“I didn’t mean that, sweetheart. I meant having an affair. He cheated on his wife. And even if he cared about me when he did it, that doesn’t make it right.”
Erin had a hard time sympathizing with the Ice Queen after their encounter, but she knew her mother was right. “I guess.”
“And I knew he was married too. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him. I risked my job for that, and I lost it. I risked our family’s income and being able to care for you.” Her mother sighed, shaking her head. “Like I said, foolish.”
Erin took her hand. She knew how strong her mother was—cleaning houses was intense physical labor. And yet her mother’s hand felt small, almost frail. She squeezed. “I’m sorry for how it turned out, but I never would have wanted you to hold back, to not take a chance on love, just because you had me.”
“Now you understand why I worried for you. That you saw me as a role model, holding myself tight, afraid to be hurt. I feared you would do the same.”
In some ways Erin had done that. She’d blamed being busy with school and work for her lack of relationships. But she could have tried more, if she’d wanted to. She could have taken a chance on love, just like she’d told her mother. Even with Doug, she’d held herself back. It hadn’t been until Blake that she’d been able to do that. Seeing him every week and then every day, learning the kind of man he was. Knowing that he would always protect her.
And finally letting go.