“Why good morning, Mister Barrett.”

I can’t speak for the way things are going in general—but in my bedroom, on this

Saturday morning, I’d say things are working out pretty fucking great.

The heavenly, golden light of the early morning sun is framing Maddie’s heavenly, golden hair in an ethereal glow. A curtain of her blond locks rests on the pillow in front of her smiling face.

“Maddie? Is that you? Fucking pinch me, please.”

“This isn’t the first time you’ve asked me to do that.”

“But it’s the best time...if it’s real.”

Maddie’s fingers find my bare chest under the sheets, and they take some time exploring. “You’re too muscular! I don’t know if there’s anything for me to pinch, so you might just be dreaming—or I am. Wait...”

Without any further warning, Maddie grabs a fleshy section of my cheek and proceeds to pinch nice and hard.

“I’ve never been so happy to have someone grab my ch—”

I’m interrupted by Maddie giggling magically at the way my voice sounds as she squeezes half my face.

“Dude, maybe you are dreaming, and that’s what you sound like in Dreamworld.”

She finally releases my cheek.

“You mean the theme park in Australia?”

“No, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. I am kind of digging the stubble, however.”

“You think I should skip shaving today? It would be a first.”

Maddie runs her fingers over the cheek she just finished pinching. Her fingers slow down, and eventually stop, resting atop my cheek.

“I don’t know, Eth.” Maddie smirks enchantingly.

“Fuck dreaming, I think I might just be in Heaven.”

“Nah. In Heaven, you’d be clean-shaven.”

“Does that mean you changed your mind about the stubble?”

Maddie’s smirk grows into a ravishing smile, and she pinches my cheek again. “Yeah...in Heaven, you’d be clean-shaven, and I’d be wearing makeup.”

“Maddie, you already look so fucking good...” Maddie laughs again at the sound of my pinched cheek voice.

She really does look fucking amazing, though.

The one lesson that life seems intent on teaching me repeatedly is that you can never guess what the future will hold. Things can go in any fucking direction at any moment, and no one’s immune from the universe’s signature random gut punches.

I can’t speak for any of the other shit going on in my life right now, and I certainly can’t fucking predict what even the near future has in store. But I can state with absolute fucking certainty that in my bedroom, on this Saturday morning, things couldn’t possibly be any better.

This moment—right now, with Maddie and I gazing at each other, and her fingers still resting lightly on my cheek—this is the one I wish I could freeze and save for eternity.

With that thought, I fade back into sleep.

Opening my eyes, a moment of panic sets in when I see the same thing I see most mornings: an empty other side of the bed.

Maybe it was all a dream. Or maybe she just left—that’s the more likely scenario.

“At least I’ll always remember that moment.”

As I hear myself say those words out loud, I notice the sound of my shower running in the bathroom.

She’s still here. I laugh at myself a bit.

Accepting that you can’t predict the future is one thing. Being at peace with the way things do turn out is quite another.

Judging from my panic, that’s a lesson that still needs to sink in for me. But for now, I don’t need to worry about any of that shit.

Because she’s still here.

Fuck, I’m going seriously crazy for this woman.

I mean, that’s probably obvious, but...

Fuck. I’m going to need think about what’s really going on, when I have some time to do so.

But for now, she’s still here—and that’s all that matters.

The shower’s still running when I bound out of bed. I don’t know how long she’s been in there, but I might have enough time to have breakfast ready when she gets out of the bathroom.

What I don’t have time for is running down to Leo’s Deli for bagels or any shit like that. I don’t think Madeline would appreciate me disappearing while she’s in the shower, and I don’t want to come back to find her gone.

The shower’s still running after I sprint to the kitchen, but I’m likely running low on time no matter what.

Since there’s no time to agonize over what to make, I take quick stock of the ingredients I have on hand.

By the time I hear the shower stop running, I’m almost finished making vanilla bean French toast with Hawaiian rolls. Yeah, I know it’s a coincidence with the whole Hawaii thing, but it’s the best bread I have for French toast.

By the time Maddie finishes in the bathroom, the French toast is done, along with a quick batch of red velvet pancakes I whipped up as an alternative.

And a fresh pot of French press coffee, of course.

“Are you expecting company?” she asks as she finally walks into the kitchen.

“I’m expecting you.”

“It looks like it, actually. How did you know about me and French toast?”

Maddie gets through two pieces of French toast as I quickly shave and shower—she mentions nothing of the Hawaiian rolls.

“It looks so nice out today for once,” Maddie says as we finish. “Let’s do something with our lives and go outside.”

With no plan in mind, we venture into the great outdoors of lower Manhattan.

“Ugh, it’s as cold as it was earlier.”

This is fucking embarrassing, but for the first time I notice Maddie’s wearing jeans and a cardigan—not her suit from yesterday.

“Did you go clothes shopping while I was asleep?”

“No, silly. I went home—just to pick up some fresh clothes. My roommate was in the bathroom, so I showered back at your place.”

“Maddie, I know you don’t like to answer these questions, but...”

“I live on John Street.”

We’re walking down Broadway, barely two blocks from my building. I point down a cross street to our left.

“You mean that street right there?”

“Yep.” Maddie’s looking straight ahead, smiling. “Hey, neighbor.”

“Well, holy shit. You’ve got a short commute, I guess.”

“Longer than yours.”

“Shorter than from Boston.”

Maddie’s smile brightens.

“This is where the SEC needed me. Fresh out of grad school, I wasn’t about to complain.”

Before long, we’re holding hands again and winding our way around the southern tip of Manhattan, and wandering back uptown, and having the time of our lives.

Well, at least, I am.

“It’s still too fucking cold for fucking spring,” Maddie says as we stroll up Gold Street. “April better be nice, not the cruelest month, like they say.”

“Who says that?”

“You know, the guy that wrote the musical about the cats.”

“Walt Whitman?”

“No, he wrote about commuting to Brooklyn.”

“Speaking of...do you want to walk to Brooklyn since the bridge is right here?”

“Was this all a giant ruse to get me to walk with you to Brooklyn?”

“Hey, you’re the one who mentioned April...and Cats.”

Maddie rolls her eyes, smirking. “I guess…since it is cold as fuck and everything that we should walk across the bridge to a place that’ll be even colder.”

Here I am, excited to be walking across the Brooklyn Bridge with somebody. And it is cold as fuck, too.

But I’m the happiest I’ve been since...

Hawaii’s been my go-to happy memory for the past few years, but these past couple days have given Hawaii a run for its money.

Naturally, we’re surrounded by tourists at the pedestrian entrance to the bridge. Watching Maddie look around at the loud, brightly dressed packs of sightseers, I’m afraid she might regret agreeing to this.

Maddie turns her face to me, smiling warmly.

Then she lifts her head to the sky and starts shouting.

“Crowds of men and women, attired in the usual costumes, how curious you are to me!”

Maddie gets a running start onto the walkway—and once again I find myself running to keep up with her.

Well, fuck.

I am falling hard for this woman.

I’m falling for Madeline.

I catch up with Maddie quickly. We keep running until we get to the middle of the bridge, when we settle into more of a light jog.

“I’ve gotta do something to start working off all this food and booze from the last couple days, Ethan.”

“Yeah, me, too.”

“You, too? Did you even eat anything today?”

“No, not yet.”

“Fuck that. We’ve gotta go to Grimaldi’s. Come on!”

Maddie takes off running yet again, and I take the fuck off after her.

Gladly.

I’m falling for Maddie—in a way I’ve never fallen for anyone before.

Not for Audra, no, not even close. And I was ready to marry her.

As for that week with Maddie five years ago...I can’t even say. I’m not thinking about that anymore.

I’m thinking about today, a day I get to spend with Maddie.

Not Maddie from Hawaii.

Not a memory.

But Maddie, who has me sprinting across the Brooklyn fucking Bridge on a cold as fuck day.

And that’s what I’m thinking about—today.

I’d like to think about tomorrow, too, but, that’s something I’ll have to figure out.

“Come on, Eth! We need to beat the rush!”

Tomorrow’s something I’ll have to figure out soon—my decision on Switzerland’s due in less than a week.

Maddie doesn’t even slow down when we get to the stairwell off the bridge. She doesn’t slow down until we get to the Grimaldi’s entrance.

Thankfully, since it is a cold-as-fuck day, and it’s an off hour, there isn’t the usual Grimaldi’s line stretching down the block.

“It was worth it to beat the rush, wasn’t it?”

“Totally,” I respond, still slightly winded. “I can probably skip the gym this week.”

“Bullshit. I know you won’t—not after we split a large pie.”

We get our brick oven pizza to-go, eating slices out of the box on our trek back to Manhattan across the bridge.

“Fuck, I didn’t mean to sleep so late.” I haven’t been keeping track of the time today, but I’m surprised to see dusk already starting to set in as we walk west.

Finished with her last slice, Maddie leans up to give me short, sweet kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“For sleeping late?”

“For this weekend. It’s been...well, it’s been amazing.”

There’s a sparkle in Maddie’s eyes as she looks up at me.

“Maddie...it’s been amazing for me, too. You’re amazing. And I can’t wait to do this again.”

“Hey, if you ever want to come by my place, I can cook you dinner.”

“I’d love that. Would tomorrow be good?”

“Sure.”

“Are we being serious? Because I totally want to see your place.”

“Yes, Ethan.”

I deposit the empty box in a recycling can as we exit the bridge into Manhattan. Maddie and I stop for a slow, smoldering kiss.

“I have to go back home and turn in early tonight, though. I’ve got a lot of crazy shit going on at work this week, and I have to start preparing.”

I don’t know what crazy shit Maddie’s referring to, but I’m reminded of my own possibly related crazy shit.

And I want this weekend to last a little while longer before I have to go back to it.

“Do you want to swing by Lush Republic for a drink first?”

Maddie looks up at the sky, starting to frown a bit. “Okay.”

Maddie hugs me tightly, like she’s saying goodbye for a long time—or for good. I hug her back and keep my confusion to myself.

The mood changes. Our walk to Lush Republic is silent.

Before we get there, I decide that I’m going to need to talk to Maddie about Switzerland. While I don’t know what’s suddenly bothering her, I have a feeling it’s related.

Charles is tending bar again, and he has two pints of stout ready when we sit down.

Maddie is quiet as she takes her first sip.

What I should do is ask her what’s wrong.

But, for some fucking reason, I mention the S-word instead.

“They’re giving me until Friday to make a decision about Switzerland.”

Maddie picks up her glass and puts it down, robotically, staring into space.

“Maddie, it’s a lot of money. A lot.”

I could fucking kick myself for saying all this. But, I’m telling her the truth about what I’ve been thinking.

“You’re fucking serious, aren’t you?”

“Madeline...I don’t know everything you know...”

“You don’t. Or do you?”

Maddie’s eyes are on me now, and tears are forming.

Fuck, fuck, I’m fucking up.

“I don’t. Seriously. I’m just trying to explain my point of view...”

“I told you, Ethan. Weren’t you listening? And I told you again to stay the fuck away!”

“It’s just...two years, Maddie, and I’d never have to work again. Even if I was supporting...a...”

The sight of tears running down Madeline’s cheeks hits me like a freight train. I don’t give a shit about the company, about Switzerland, about any of it.

Right now, the only thing I care about is the pain I see in Madeline’s eyes.

The pain I put there.

It’s not the first time, either. I’m such a fucking asshole.

“Maddie...forget it. I’m not going to do it. I just...I’m so sorry.”

“How could you even consider it?”

Seeing Madeline cry is tearing my soul apart. All I want to do is help her, but I feel so helpless.

I reach out to touch her on the shoulder, but she backs away.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t ever fucking touch me again. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

She’s not yelling, I don’t think anyone else even hears her.

But I don’t care.

I won’t lie—I’m confused. I know it’s a touchy subject, but I didn’t expect her to react like this.

That still doesn’t make me feel like any less of an asshole.

Madeline leaves.

I stay at the bar, unable to speak, unable to move.

Just two minutes—if that—and a few words.

That’s all it took, and I managed to irrevocably fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to me.