A MONTH LATER

“Two days, that’s all,” I tell Austin.

“Yeah, but they might just offer you the job right then and there,” he says, trying to sound strong and supportive.

“My stuff is still here. You’re still here.”

Austin pulls my bag out of the back of his truck and places it down on the curb. “Mind if I ask you something?”

“What’s that?”

“I know you’ve mentioned not wanting to be chased, but I didn’t run you out of this place, did I?”

I grab ahold of his shirt and pull him toward me. “You couldn’t do that if you tried, Austin Trace. For the first time in my life, I’ve wanted to be with someone as much as humanly possible. I should never have told you not to chase me, but I shouldn’t force you to chase me, either.”

Austin combs his fingers through his messy hair. “Yeah, it would make things easier if women didn’t force us to chase, especially those who indicate they don’t want to be chased, when they secretly kind of do. Do you have any idea how confusing y’all are?”

I press up on my toes and gently touch my lips to his. “You have me all figured out, so you have nothing to worry about,” she says with a quick wink.

“Not really. I’m still learning as I go with you. Somehow, I think you’re the type of person I could know my entire life and still not have you figured out at the end.”

“Just how I like it. Got to keep a man guessing.”

“I’m going to miss you, darlin’.”

“How much?” I ask him with a smirk.

“A lot. So, in case you feel the same way about me, I bought you something so you don’t get too lonely. It’s in your carry-on bag.”

“What?” I place my hand down on the zipper of my shoulder bag, looking at him with question. “What is it?”

“You’ll see,” he says. His smile worries me, so I unzip the bag and shove my hand inside, feeling something long, smooth, and covered with silicone. Oh, God.

“Austin … ”

“I named it Betsy Blue, just for you,” he says, falling into a fit of laughter.

“You bought me a vibrator and named it Betsy Blue? Are you kidding me?” I pull my hand out of the bag and slap him. “What if it causes the metal detector to go off?”

“Take a picture?” He shrugs with a smile. “Just promise you’ll think of me when you use it.”

I put my hand over my eyes. “Well, I can assure you I won’t be thinking of a damn pig, Austin.”

“Good, then my plan worked,” he says. “Have a safe flight, darlin’.” Austin wraps his arm around me and pulls me into him real tight, giving me a kiss that steals my breath. His lips don’t break away from mine, but there’s a painful moan rumbling deep in his throat, one that rocks me to the core. “Come back to me.” His whispering words move through me, causing a dull pain my chest—something I haven’t really felt before.

“I will be back in two days. Two.” He kisses me once more and regret floods through me. I don’t want that interview, but I need to know if I’m worthy of the job.

Austin walks me to security and stands with me in line until he can’t go any further. “Call me when you land, darlin’.”

“I will.”

“Be careful with your arm. You haven’t started therapy yet. Got it?”

“I got it,” I tell him with a laugh. “Go, go, I’ll be fine.”

I check through security, thanking God that TSA didn’t feel the need to dig through my bag.

I turn to see if Austin was watching and waiting for a show, but I only see him walking away, and I wonder if I truly have it in me to watch him walk away for good because I don’t think I do. I’ve never had trouble telling people to give me space, leave me alone, or just disappear altogether, but he’s different.

The bubble I have built around myself feels big and lonely. It’s like he’s been inside of my bubble with me this last month or so, and now that I can stretch out and take in everything around me, I feel like I’m lost when he’s not with me.

I go through the motions of making my way through the terminal and up to my gate. Thank goodness Brendan is picking me up from the airport in Boston because I’m going to need a hug when I get there.

A seat next to the check-in booth is free and I sit down and stare out onto the tarmac as they prepare the plane. I find myself wondering what made me want to be in the hospitality business, but it’s all I’ve known since I graduated from college. It just kind of happened, unplanned. That’s how I like to live—how I liked to live. I don’t know what I want now, and that’s scarier than just letting life happen.

I enjoy the fast pace of the job, and I like people watching. Plus, feeling in charge is nice, and the money isn’t so bad now that I’ve moved up the chain a bit. Blah. I have to snap out of it and go with the flow of my life. I was meant to get this interview and I’m meant to go through the motions. Whatever happens after, happens.

I’ve managed to zone out long enough that the flight attendants are calling all passengers to board the plane, so I look at my ticket and walk over to the collector. I hand the agent my ticket and head down the narrow, enclosed bridge to the plane’s opening.

I’m one of the last people to board the plane, but I checked my bag so I don’t have much with me, which is good. I take my aisle seat next an old man who’s reading a newspaper. I slouch back to get comfortable and pull my earbuds out of my purse.

“Going home or visiting?” he asks immediately.

A talker. Fabulous. No one would ever guess that I work in the hospitality field. “I’m not sure,” I tell him.

“Well, then, you must have quite the story.” The guy looks like Santa. I can’t think of a better way to describe him. He’s even got the jolly, pink cheeks that look like they’re stuffed full of candy. I try not to focus on the fact that his shoulder is leaning up against mine and probably will be for the next few hours. My poor bubble.

“I don’t know if it’s a story, or just that I just have trouble making life decisions,” I chuckle and pull out the airline magazine from the pocket in front of me.

“I hear ya, kid. My daughter lives in South Carolina, but my girlfriend lives in Boston.” His story sounds way more fascinating than mine.

“How old is your daughter?” I ask.

“Sixteen,” he says. The man seems a bit old to have such a young daughter but to each their own.

“That’s a tough age I’ve been told.”

“It’s the age where she needs her mom—the woman who moved down to South Carolina just to make my life a little more challenging.”

“Did she remarry?”

“Yes, she did,” he says with a sigh.

“I see the problem,” I tell him. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to talk to my girlfriend and try to persuade her to move down South with me. If it doesn’t work, I suppose I’m not worth enough to her.” He shrugs. “What are you going to do?” I can hear in his voice that the poor man is hurting. He sounds out of breath just telling me about his situation. At least I don’t have a kid in my mix. That would add a whole new level of complication I probably couldn’t handle.

“Life can be unfair sometimes, but I’m certain everything happens for a reason. Although, I’ve noticed lately that life likes to be kind of sneaky and not show you the reason up front. It makes everything a gamble, you know?” I tell him.

“You’re a smart woman. I hope my daughter has the same kind of head on her shoulders that you do. Your parents must be proud,” he says.

I hold in the laughter, sparing him the woe is me story. Instead, I smile to end the conversation and glance down at my magazine.

* * *

The wheels hitting the ground cause me to jump. That was a good nap I wasn’t planning on. I should try reading plane magazines more often I guess. I pull my phone out of my bag and turn the airplane mode off, so I can text Brendan to let him know I’ve landed.

The man next to me is just waking up too. “Don’t you love when you sleep through the whole flight?” he asks.

“It’s like it never happened,” I tell him.

“Hey, good luck with your dilemma.” The man pats me on the back and groans as he stands up to leave.

“Same to you. I hope your girlfriend decides to go with you.”

“Well, if she doesn’t, I’ll keep in mind your brilliant words of following life’s plans.” I hope I’m right about that. I don’t even know where I heard that life has a plan for everyone, but it’s something I feel like everyone says. Maybe it’s wrong. Maybe we’re supposed to create our own plans and make things happen the way we want them to happen. Why is everything so confusing?

“Or, tell her all the good things she’ll be missing out on. Maybe that could work too,” I tell him. I’m worried enough about screwing up my own life, never mind someone else’s. “Actually, don’t listen to a word I said. I really know nothing and shouldn’t be giving out advice. You seem like a good guy, so yeah, do what your heart tells you.”

He laughs. “Give yourself some credit, kid. You’re doing okay.” He grabs his bag and heads down the aisle.

This is why I should just keep my thoughts to myself.

I exit the plane and follow the signs down to baggage claim because after living in this area my entire life, I still can’t remember how to get out of the airport. I swear they change the terminals around once a year just to screw with people.

Brendan is waiting for me at the bottom of the escalator in front of the arrival doors. “You didn’t have to come inside, silly. I could have found you.”

“I figured you needed a bear hug,” he says.

“I do.” Brendan wraps his arms around me and squeezes the air out of my lungs. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” I try to tell him through my flattened lungs. He releases me and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

“Let’s get your bag.”

“Are you sure Kalvin doesn’t mind me staying with you guys?”

“He insisted,” Brendan says.

“How are things with you two?” I honestly thought things were completely over with the two of them when he left for South Carolina with me, but I guess he’s had a change of heart.

“Better after a month break. He seems more committable now.”

Oh geez. “What does that mean, exactly?”

“I told him I want a serious relationship and that includes certain things.”

“And?” I ask.

“He said he had been thinking the same thing.”

“So?” I push for more information.

“That’s it,” Brendan says.

“Well, I guess that’s a good thing then.”

“How’s Austy-poo?”

“No, that’s not a nickname.”

“Well, that’s what Kalvin and I have been calling him.”

“Yeah, still, a no,” I tell him.

“Okay, just tell me what’s going on with Austin. Is that better?”

“I don’t really know,” I huff. “I shared my feelings with him.”

“Holy crap. You did not.”

“I did.”

“What do you feel?” he asks, with way too much excitement.

“I don’t know. Stuff.”

“Well, then that changes everything, Scarlett.”

“Right. Everything is different now that I feel stuff,” I tell him with an eye-roll.

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to the interview and then I’ll see where it goes from there.”

“How can you even live this way?” Brendan scolds me. “Wait a second. Did he talk about his—I mean does he have feelings feelings for you?”

“He said a lot of sweet things,” I tell him, trying my hardest not to smile.

“Oh. My. No, Scarlett, get back on that plane right now and go get him. Are you crazy?”

“No, I’m not crazy. I’m trying to figure out my stupid life,” I remind him.

“Your crazy, stupid life,” he follows up with. “Your heart must hurt right now, huh?”

“Any other questions, Brendan?”

“Yes, I do have more questions.” Of course, he does. The questions never stop with Brendan.

“Okay, can we just take a break then?”

“Oh my God, you poor thing, you’re hurting. Come here.” He wraps me back up in his smothering hug and pets my head. “It’ll be okay.”

“Brendan.”

“Your interview is tomorrow morning, right?” he changes the subject. This man makes my head spin sometimes.

“Yes, at nine.”

“What if they want you to come in for a second interview?” he asks.

“I told them I was flying in from South Carolina, so they told me they’d have a decision for me tomorrow.”

“Are there other candidates?” he continues drilling me.

“I’m not sure,” I tell him.

“I guess your resume must have impressed them. What about money?” Clearly, we have no conversation topic boundaries. I think I’m just realizing this while trying to keep up with his questions.

“The salary is twice what I’m making now.”

“Oy,” Brendan says.

“There’s my bag.” I run over to the moving platform and grab the case with my good arm, dragging it off the side and righting it so I can wheel it out.

“You’ve really learned to manage with one hand, huh?” Brendan says. “You must be such a good girlfriend.” He winks, and I elbow him. “Kalvin is waiting outside for us in his car.”

“When did he get a car? Why did he get a car?”

“He bought a house in Brookline.”

Um, okay, it’s been a month. How does that all happen in a month? “Oh.”

“Yeah, see, he’s serious.” I guess so.

We get outside and Brendan spots Kalvin in what looks like a brand new Lexus. “What does Kalvin do again?”

“He’s a dancer.” Okay, I don’t know why I didn’t know this or failed as a friend to ask what Brendan’s boyfriend did, but I swear he was a waiter somewhere.

“I really thought—”

“I didn’t tell you,” Brendan says quickly.

“Got it.” It makes sense. Kalvin looks like the Chippendale type.

Brendan opens the trunk and I hoist my bag onto my knee so I can slide it inside, but Brendan takes it from my hand and places it in the trunk for me.

“Thanks for picking me up,” I tell Kalvin as I hop into the backseat.

“Of course. I’m so glad to see you!” I kind of thought Kalvin didn’t like me all that much, but I’m starting to see there’s a lot I didn’t wrap my head around with him.

“Congratulations on the new house. That’s amazing,” I tell him.

“Wait until you see it,” Brendan says. “It has antique charm with a modern flair, and it’s so homey.” Homey. What does that feel like exactly?

It takes us about forty minutes to get out of the city and to Kalvin’s house, which looks like it’s from the 1800’s. I love these kinds of houses, despite the potential of having ghosts as roommates. If I even mention that to Brendan, he’ll most likely never sleep here again, though.

“You seem sad,” Kalvin says as we walk up the path to his front door.

“I’m just tired. Traveling exhausts me.”

“I hear ya. I’m not a fan of flying.”

“Your house is beautiful,” I tell him. It’s exactly how Brendan described. Clean and homey, but charming too.

“I have a spare room upstairs that you can stay in. I’ve already made up the bed for you, and I’ll get your bag upstairs.”

“Thank you, Kalvin.” He’s being so nice. I’ve never seen this side of him before. Something has changed with him, in addition to the double-sized muscles he’s now sporting. I think I remember him being a gym junkie, but I’m wondering if this dancing gig is newer and the reason for the change in his appearance.

As soon as we enter the quaint guest room, I plop down on the bed. “Kalvin, something has changed about you,” I say.

He raises his brows and walks across the room to open the blinds. “Nice and sunny in here.”

“Kalvin, I know I don’t know you all that well, but I love Brendan like a brother, and I’m just curious as to what’s changed.”

Everything about Kalvin is perfect, from his slicked, old-fashioned, hipster hairstyle, to his pricey clothes and shined shoes. Of course, the thick, pumpkin-orange-rimmed glasses that he wears just work for him like they wouldn’t work for most people, but he knows how to make things look good. I’ve noticed that at least.

He takes a seat in the plushy guest chair beside the window. “Nothing has changed. I’ve just had realizations.”

“I understand,” I tell him.

I continue staring at him, waiting for him to continue because I feel like there is more he wants to say.

“I seriously missed Brendan when he left. I knew I had to make some changes so he’d come back to me. I did, and really I just want things to work with him.”

“That makes me happy to hear. You must be the culprit who stole him away from me?” I smile so he knows I’m joking.

“Possibly,” he says with a nervous grimace.

“If he’s happy, I’m happy. Honest.”

“Just so you know, if you decide to stay in Boston, you can stay here as long as you’d like,” Kalvin offers.

“That’s very sweet of you.”

“I told Brendan we’ll have to make frequent trips down to South Carolina so I can visit this cute little town he’s been telling me all about. Plus, I need to meet Austin.” Kalvin never appeared to care much about my life before, but I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s being sincere.

“That would be awesome,” I tell him.

“Do you know what you’re planning to do about the whole job interview and your dating life?” Pushy. Hmm.

“Not yet. That’s why I’m interviewing here tomorrow.” I narrow my eyes and lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees.

“Kalvin, there’s something you’re not saying.” He looks super nervous all the sudden, and I believe I’m about to find out what is going on. I’ll ninja my way into his brain if I must.

“Okay, but can you not say anything to Brendan yet? I want to talk to him on my own.” That was easier than my ninja moves, but I don’t know where this could be going or whether I even want to know.

“Sure,” I tell him. I hope whatever he has to say is isn’t something I’m going to have to avoid Brendan over.

“I had this thought one day while you guys were gone. It was like a cloud broke open in my head and suddenly, I was drowning in my own tears. I realized that I’m twenty-seven and I want a family. I want kids. I want someone to call me Dad and tell me I’m their world. I’ve spent most of my twenties being selfish, and I’m sick of living that way. I think I was so cooped up in my own little world until I came out a few years ago that I needed to go wild and get partying and hangovers out of my system. As soon as you guys left though, it was like I ran dry. I suddenly wanted everything that Brendan talked about, and I was afraid it was too late after I kept shooing him off.”

“You want to have kids?” I ask, highlighting the most important part of his explanation.

“Yes. I went to an adoption agency. They said I would have a much higher chance of being a match for a child, sooner rather than later, if I was in a stable relationship.” He pauses, looking at me, likely to gauge my reaction before continuing. “I know how this sounds, Scarlett.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t sound good right now,” I tell him. “Is Brendan just part of your plan to adopt a family?”

“No, I had already started trying to mend things with Brendan.”

“Did you talk to him about any of this while you were trying to ‘mend’ things?” I ask.

“Not exactly,” he says.

“Oh my God.” I stand up and grab my head. This can’t be happening. I know Brendan wants a family and all that, but I’m positive he’d want to be a part of the decision-making process. “If he even thinks you’re just getting back with him so you two can co-parent, do you have any clue how that’s going to turn out? You should have made this decision together, Kalvin.”

“I know, but I got excited and just acted on the thought. I want to marry him and have a family.”

“For you or him?”

“Us,” he says. He’s lucky he said that. I was about to sock him in the stomach.

“If I were you, I would come clean as soon as possible before this goes any further. He’s going to be crushed when he finds out you started this without him, and he might think you’re only using him now. Personally, I would probably think that.”

“I know it’s going to be hard proving my intentions,” he adds to my lecture.

“Yeah, it is,” I snap back.

“Where are my favorite people?” Brendan shouts from downstairs.

“Don’t make me hold onto this information, Kalvin. Have this talk with him.”

“I will,” he says.

“Oh, and p.s., an adoption agency might not smile about one parent being an exotic dancer.”

“Wait, what?” Kalvin says.

“Brendan told me, sorry.”

“No, I’m not an exotic dancer. I’ve been performing as an extra for various shows in the theatre district.”

I laugh. “I should stop assuming.”

“But, wow, thank you for that compliment.”

And now I’m mortified. “Anytime.”