I sit alone in the tent that’s set up on my grandparents’ property. We used it tonight for the rehearsal dinner, and it will be used tomorrow night for my wedding reception. I look around at all the perfectly placed decorations. The magnolia flowers I’ve always dreamed about having at my wedding. The images I always dreamed of growing up, for what my perfect wedding would look like.

I’ve always wanted to get married in just this spot, having loved my grandparents’ land since I was little. They once had thousands of acres but began to sell it off in large chunks over the years, keeping the area around the house for themselves, after neither my dad nor any of my aunts and uncle showed any desire in taking over the farm.

I stand and walk to the edge of the tent and look around, taking in the star-filled sky. The slight breeze feels good against my heated skin. Everything is perfect, except for this nagging feeling deep within me that has me wondering what is wrong. I keep pushing the feeling back, figuring it’s just the normal wedding jitters and nothing more than that. I pull a chair to the edge and sit back down.

Tomorrow, I’m marrying the man I love.

The man I plan to start a family and grow old with.

As I think of these things, and what my life will look like five, ten, twenty-five years down the line, I don’t see Brad.

I see Sam.

The man I’ve always loved, but he just doesn’t love me the same way. He doesn’t want to marry me.

I shake my head, hoping to clear the images of walking down the aisle to Sam.

Dancing with Sam.

Running away to a romantic honeymoon with Sam.

I don’t even realize the tears have started to roll down my cheeks until one hits my hand that’s sitting in my lap. I quickly swipe at the tears, not that anyone is out here with me. But if anyone was to come out, I don’t want them to see me sitting here crying.

I take a few deep breaths, doing my best to calm myself down.

I sit in the moonlight awhile longer, thinking back to my childhood and all the good memories.

The summer had passed by in a blur. My family moved into our new house at the beginning of the summer, and as much as I hated the idea at the time, it has been amazing.

Steven and I made fast friends with Sam. He fit in with the two of us, and we’ve been thick as thieves all summer.

School starts tomorrow, and the jitters of starting at a new school have been increasing all day. The excitement of meeting new friends and teachers is almost overwhelming. Sam has been assuring me that the school we’ll be going to is great and I’ll fit in easily, but I’m still nervous about it.

“Do you have your backpack all ready for tomorrow?” my mom asks, walking into my bedroom with a basket of clean clothes.

“Yes, I’ve packed and repacked it a few times, just to make sure I didn’t forget anything.”

Chuckling, she tells me, “You’ll do great tomorrow, and it’s not like you don’t already have two built-in friends.”

“I know,” I say on a sigh. “I’m still nervous, but at least the three of us got put into the same class.”

“I can’t believe my babies are going to be in the fourth grade,” Mom says, wrapping me in a hug.

“Well believe it, ’cause we’re not getting any younger,” I tease her.

“How about we head out for a girls’ lunch, and maybe go get our nails done afterwards?” she suggests.

“Sure! I’ll just put these clothes away quick, and then can be ready to go,” I reply, hopping off my bed.

“How’d you like your first day?” Sam asks me as we all walk home from school.

“It was great! Mrs. Smyth was so nice, I’m really going to enjoy being in her class. I was just a little bummed you and Steven got switched into the other class. How was your first day?”

“It was good, and I told you that you’d love Mrs. Smyth. Did she give you any homework?”

“Nope, said we won’t start homework until next week. She’s easing us into it,” I tell him, as a small laugh escapes my lips. “What about Mr. Lund, did he give you guys homework?”

“Just our reading logs for the month, so not really homework.”

“Oh yeah, we got those, too.”

“I’m going to go grab a snack, but after, do you guys want to play?” Sam asks Steven and me as we approach our houses.

“Yep, meet ya back outside in a few minutes,” Steven tells Sam as he runs up and into our house.

“See ya in just a bit. I’m glad your first day was good,” Sam says to me before he splits off and walks over to his driveway.