They finished dancing in silence. Noah knew he’d said something to upset her, and he was pretty sure he knew what it was. But what was he supposed to say?

That every moment he spent with her weakened his resolve to leave? How would that be helpful? To either of them. He was here to complete a job, that was all.

And even though all he could think about was taking Sophia into his arms and promising her that he would never leave her again, he knew that was a promise he couldn’t keep. He needed to gain access to James’s boss, and involving Sophia any more in his life was dangerous.

She would only end up hurt like so many other people in his life. And he wasn’t sure he could survive that.

When the song ended, Sophia dropped her hands and turned away from him. He watched as she weaved through the crowd and sat back down on the bar stool. He pushed his hands through his hair as he blew out his breath.

His stomach hurt. His head hurt. And his heart ached. Why was he fighting this? Before he got here, he’d convinced himself that she didn’t want anything to do with him. But every conversation they had, or didn’t have, kept hinting that, perhaps, this was something she wanted.

Sophia being upset that he was leaving could only mean one thing: she didn’t want him to go anywhere.

His heart squeezed at that thought. She wanted him to stay. And every minute—every second—he was around her, staying was becoming his number one goal as well.

He moved over to the bar, but on the other side, away from Sophia. He wanted to get his wits about him before he approached her again. After ordering a beer, he turned and leaned back on the countertop. He watched the couples around him. Some were dancing. Some were getting a little too friendly.

He grabbed his pint and took a drink. Then he set it down and mustered his courage as he made his way over to Sophia and tapped her on the shoulder.

She turned with her eyebrows raised. “What do you want, Noah?” she asked. Her expression had turned stony. Like she was fighting with herself. He took that as a good sign.

“We need to talk.”

She blew out her breath as she shook her head. “I think we’ve talked enough.”

Just as she turned back toward the bar, he grabbed her arm to stop her. “Please?” he asked.

He couldn’t live like this anymore. They needed to talk. Really talk. No more of this almost saying how they felt. He wanted…something. To be close to her? To have her forgive him? He wasn’t sure. But he knew that it was going to be impossible to move forward until this was resolved.

She glanced back at him and studied his face. Then she sighed. “Okay.”

She slipped off the stool and grabbed her purse. He led her outside, where the darkness surrounded them, and the twinkle of the stars above them lit up the sky.

They rounded the corner of the Rusty Barrel. They could still hear the music, but it was no longer loud enough to drown out their conversation.

Sophia leaned against the wall and turned her face up toward the sky. She was waiting for him to start. Which made sense. He was the one who dragged her out here.

“You have to understand, Sophia. I never meant to hurt you.” Just saying the words caused his chest to squeeze. He’d hurt her, he knew that. But that had never been his intention.

She slowly lowered her gaze until she met his. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she studied him.

Not wanting her to respond and weaken his resolve, he continued. “I was a stupid teenager. I was dealing with stuff with my dad, and I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you. So I ran. I threw myself into a world where things made sense. Bad guys were bad. Good guys were good. People respected me. I wasn’t the delinquent from the wrong side of town.”

He pinched his lips together as he thought about what he was saying. He hadn’t realized it until now, but Sophia’s mother had hurt him. She’d made him feel unworthy of her affection. It wasn’t Sophia’s fault, but he’d known that, no matter what he did, her mother would never approve of their relationship.

She parted her lips and her eyes were wide. “Noah, I—”

“I know,” he said. She didn’t need to apologize. None of this was her fault. “I couldn’t make you pick between me or your mom. That wasn’t fair. Besides, I didn’t think I could do the one thing you wanted me to do. I couldn’t stay here.” His voice dropped as that statement settled around them. “I couldn’t be that guy for you.”

When she didn’t respond, he glanced over to see her studying the ground.

Should he continue? “I’m not sure I can ever be that guy for you.” And that was the truth. Sophia deserved someone who wasn’t scared. Someone who didn’t come with the baggage that he did. If staying in this town was what she wanted, then she deserved a guy who wanted the same thing. A guy who could give it to her.

Sure, his dad was gone, and the bitter memories were gone with him. And perhaps, if things were different, he just might be able to stay. But he couldn’t make that promise to her unless he was 100% confident. And if there was any doubt in his mind, then he needed to walk away.

He blew out his breath and turned to lean against the wall next to Sophia. Silence engulfed them as they stood there, side by side, listening to the sounds of crickets and frogs. From the corner of his eye, he saw her wrap her arms around her chest. She was protecting herself. He knew that stance all too well.

Good. She should protect herself. Her mother had been right. He was the wrong guy for her. Even though he knew he’d die to protect her, he couldn’t protect her from his inadequacies. Even if he’d give it all up to be with her.

“Noah,” she whispered.

He glanced over at her to see her peering at him. The earnest look in her eyes made his heart break. She was hurting. Geez, he was an idiot. Even when he was trying not to hurt her, he was hurting her.

But she looked like she was waiting for him to tell her to continue. “Yeah?”

“I’ve spent the entire time since you walked out on me ten years ago trying to convince myself that I don’t care about you. That I don’t care about anyone.” She paused as she closed her eyes. He could see her pain written across her face.

There was nothing he wouldn’t do to take that away. He moved toward her. He wanted to fix what he’d done. But she just shook her head.

“I kept everyone at a distance. If I didn’t care about them, then they couldn’t hurt me. But the one thing I was so scared of came true anyways. I was alone.” She shivered, and before Noah could stop himself, he pushed off the building and slipped off his coat.

He held it out to her, and Sophia hesitated before she turned and let him drape it over her shoulders. She looked so small, so vulnerable, wrapped in his coat. It was taking all of his strength not to reach out and pull her toward him.

“Sophia, I—”

She shook her head. “I get it, Noah. You needed to find your way. To make a name for yourself. And from what I can tell, you’ve done a good job at that.”

But he hadn’t. He’d failed so many people. He swallowed, and the emotions in his throat almost choked him. How could he tell her that he was a joke? He hadn’t protected Judy. And, even though he deluded himself into thinking that he could protect Sophia, he knew he couldn’t.

He felt her hand on his cheek. Startled, he glanced up to see her staring at him. There was so much feeling in her gaze that it took his breath away. He could see that she cared about him. Her feelings were as plain as day.

“Noah,” she whispered as she leaned in closer to him. “I can’t pretend anymore.”

He wanted to step back. To back away from her. Tell her that he didn’t want her. That she was an idiot to get involved with him again. She deserved someone better than what he had to offer.

“Please. Don’t shut me out again.” Her gaze felt heavy as it bored into his own.

What was he supposed to do? How could he say no to her? She cared about him. That he was sure of. He could feel it. Her touch was soft—it was everything that he wanted. For a moment, he allowed himself to lean into it. To let the flicker of hope dance in his chest that they just might be able to make this work.

He parted his lips and allowed his heart to speak. No more censoring. He wanted to say everything that he was feeling. Heck, he wanted to pull her toward him and show her everything he felt. But could he? It went against everything he wanted for Sophia.

“I…can’t.” The words tasted bitter on his tongue. As soon as they were out and floating in the air, he wanted to take them back. To unspeak them.

Especially when he saw her face fall. He’d hurt her. Again. What was wrong with him?

The back door opened, and they both jumped. A waiter emerged, and when he saw them, he jumped as well.

“I’m sorry,” he said, raising his hands to expose an unlit cigarette in one hand.

Noah moved to speak, but Sophia beat him to it.

“It’s okay. I was just leaving.”

Noah turned to see Sophia step away from him and shoulder her purse. She marched toward the car before he could stop her. He nodded at the waiter and then followed after her.

He wanted to explain. What he’d said back there had been a colossal mistake. He’d done such stupid things. Half the time he was trying to protect her—the other half, he was trying to protect himself. And what had happened just moments ago had been a sad attempt at protecting himself by convincing her that he didn’t care for her.

Idiot.

“Sophia, I’m sorry,” he said as she reached the car and pulled her door open.

She let out a frustrated groan as she turned to him. “What do you want, Noah? Huh?” She turned to meet his gaze.

He stepped back. There was fire in her eyes. When he didn’t respond right away, she scoffed and turned back to the car. “I’m over this,” she said.

Like sand through his fingers, he was losing everything that he wanted. But how could he stop this? “Sophia?” He stepped toward her.

She hesitated. “The truth. Please.”

He paused before he spoke the truest words he’d ever said. “What if it hurts you?”

She peered over at him. “Sometimes it’s worth it. You can’t protect everyone. But isn’t being with the person you love, even if you end up getting hurt, better than being apart?” Her words hung in the air as she chewed on her lip.

The answer to her question was yes. He wanted to say it. But she didn’t know how he’d failed someone already. Would that change how she felt about him?

When he didn’t answer right away, she sighed. “Let’s just go. It’s been a long day, and I’m exhausted.” She slipped onto her seat and pulled the door shut, leaving Noah to stand there, alone.

He took a few seconds to gather his thoughts before he rounded the hood and pulled open the driver’s door. One thing was for sure, he needed to decide what he was going to do. Was he going to move forward, be truthful, and finally allow himself some happiness?

Or was he going to keep his distance in an effort to protect her?

He knew what his heart wanted, but his head disagreed. He just wasn’t sure how long he could keep his heart at bay.