Joshua stayed at the foot of the bed, glaring down at his feet. When he finally looked up at me, I could tell that he was still as angry as ever.
“So, you formed your MC,” he said slowly. “And you found killers for members. Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
I nodded. “I had to do a lot of research,” I said. “Especially to find people like Roni.” Just saying her name put a bad taste in my mouth. Roni was dangerous, and I was starting to realize that just because I was her leader I wasn’t guaranteed protection from her heinous schemes. “I had to pay a lot of money to find names like that.”
Joshua laughed humorlessly. “You paid to find that big dyke?” He shook his head. “She’s fuckin’ trouble, Jasmine.” The name sounded unreal from him now that he knew who I really was, but I didn’t really want to ask him to call me Leslie. “Stay away from her.”
I shook my head. “She was necessary,” I argued. “And we used to be best friends.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I was actually grooming her to take over the Wild Witches, until recently.”
Joshua coughed. “Why? What happened?”
The air between us had settled a little bit, but that didn’t make me feel any better.
“It’s none of your business,” I said quietly.
Joshua frowned. “What was that?”
I spread my legs out on the bed and rested my elbows on my knees. I was hyper aware of being close to Joshua again—I could still catch the faint whiff of my musk on his face whenever he talked. “Nothing,” I mumbled. “Look, Joshua, about the past—”
Joshua held up his hand. His face was deadly serious, and the anxiety came crawling back down my spine. I realized that he was still angry with me, but that he’d somehow managed to turn it inside. This was a trick Joshua used to pull all the time back in the old days. He wasn’t ever comfortable being emotional, so he always made himself bottle everything up and keep it inside. But it rarely worked, and I knew that once he’d started, he’d keep things in until he couldn’t bear to bottle it up any longer. And when Joshua exploded, I knew it would happen fast and hard. Joshua had a hell of a temper, and I could only imagine that leading an MC for years had made it sharper than ever before.
“I don’t wanna talk about that right now,” Joshua said slowly. He stared at me, as if beginning to realize something. Suddenly, I got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Joshua,” I said slowly. “You remember I told you about Taylor’s assault? How it happened the night of the party we threw to celebrate our independence?”
Joshua nodded. He frowned at me. “Yeah. So what?”
I bit my lip and swallowed. “So,” I said slowly. “Some of your guys came to the party. Mike and Will and Derrick, they were all there.”
“Yeah,” Joshua said. He ran a hand through his hair and stared at me. “So what? You fucking told me this already, Jasmine,” he added, his voice grating with irritation. “There’s nothing else to discuss. I said I was sorry, I don’t fucking own my guys. I can’t tell them where or where not to go.”
“No,” I said quickly. “It isn’t about that. This is different, I think it’s important.” My heart began to thud against my chest and I felt my torso tensing up with anxiety. Raking a shaky hand through my hair, I looked at the ceiling. “Well, Taylor didn’t see her attacker,” I said. “The room was dark, she only said that it was definitely a man.”
“Men rape women all the time,” Joshua said. He sneered. “It’s fucking disgusting, but it’s a fact of life.”
“No,” I said forcefully, holding up my hand. “It’s not that. It’s…it's what Roni told me afterward. She told me that she saw a guy sneaking out of the clubhouse, wearing a Venom Brothers jacket. She told me it was one of your guys."
Joshua looked at me with a stunned expression on his chiseled face. He shook his head. “No,” he said. “That’s fucking impossible. One of my guys wouldn’t do that.”
I felt sick inside as Joshua’s face turned from red to white to almost green. I felt the same way, like I was going to puke everywhere. Something clicked in my brain ,and I realized that not for the first time, I’d gotten everything wrong. Still, I wasn’t ready to let Joshua off the hook.
“Can you prove it?” I asked finally. “Can you prove that your guys weren’t involved?”
Joshua thought for a second. He nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I can prove it because they all came back to the clubhouse,” he added. He wrinkled his forehead. “Except for Derrick,” Joshua added. “He must have stayed out somewhere that night.”
My heart sank. If he didn’t have an alibi for every single one of his guys, I didn’t think we’d be able to prove anything.
“Wait,” I said slowly. “Do you think he stayed with Patti? I mean, is there a chance? Do you know if they were dating a few weeks ago?”
Joshua nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense,” he said. “Can you call her and ask her?”
With shaking fingers, I pulled out my phone and dialed Patti’s number. Working with Joshua felt better than I’d expected it to, almost like old times again. Even though my anxiety was rising by the minute, I didn’t want to waste any time. Not with Roni on the warpath and Derrick in the hands of the Russians.
“Hey,” Patti said. I frowned. There was something odd about her voice, something panicked. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” I said, trying to sound casual. “Just wondering about something. The night of the party, did Derrick stay with you?”
“What?”
I groaned. “The night of the party, the party we had in the clubhouse a few weeks back. Did Derrick stay with you? You were dating by then,” I added for emphasis. “Just tell me the truth, Patti.”
Patti stuttered. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I mean, can you ask him?”
“No,” I practically exploded. “I can’t ask him, as you know, because he’s being held by the fucking Russians! This is really important, Patti, some innocent lives are at stake here. I need to know where he stayed.”
“I really don’t remember,” Patti said. “You know, I had so much to drink that I can barely remember a thing about that night.” She paused. “You do mean the night that Taylor was attacked, right?”
Rage and irritation seared through my mind, and I tried to take a deep breath and calm down as best I could. Don’t yell at her, don’t yell at her, don’t yell at her, I tried to tell myself. But then I started remembering some other things that made me even angrier. Patti hadn’t been too drunk the night of the party; she’d told me that she was getting over a cold and she was still taking antibiotics. And when the guys had arrived, Mike and Will had hung out and harassed Roni. Derrick had disappeared. So had Patti. They’d likely gone to a room and spent the whole night fucking. Why wouldn’t she just admit it?
“Jaz,” Patti said, her voice sounding nervous. “Are you still there? Did you hang up?”
“I’m right here,” I snapped callously. “You have five fucking seconds to tell me the truth,” I said angrily. “You have five fucking seconds, or I’m coming over there and beating it out of you myself. Don’t lie, Patti. I know Roni’s been manipulating you from the start, and I’m not going to take it anymore.”
Patti let out a sound, something like a little, shocked, gasp. It was the kind of cry that someone would make when stepping into an icy pool, or when burning themselves on the stove. And in that cry, I suddenly knew everything. Patti was lying to me. Roni had been lying to me the whole fucking time, and she was playing Patti like a cheap fiddle. Roni hadn't seen a member of the Venom Brothers sneaking out of the clubhouse, because Derrick had never left. He hadn't even been in Taylor's room; he'd spent the whole night with Patti. And now, Roni wanted to blame the attack on him. I shook my head, feeling more bitter and upset than I had in a long time.
“I know Roni is getting you to lie,” I said slowly. “But you really need to think about what you’re doing, okay, Patti? If you lie to me like this again, and I catch you, you’re out for good. And your name is fucking mud,” I added. “Roni isn’t doing this to be your friend. Roni’s doing this because she wants to lead the Wild Witches.”
“Roni wouldn’t hurt me,” Patti said. I was pleased to note that she sounded incredibly uncertain. “Roni cares about me. She cares a lot more than you do, Jaz.”
I burst out laughing. It was a harsh, dry sound. From the bed, Joshua glanced up at me in alarm. “You’re fucking mental,” I told Patti. “Roni is trying to blame the attack on Derrick, don’t you get that? He was the only member of Venom Brothers who stayed the night, the only member who could have hurt Taylor. And she made you lie, and say that you were drunk just to get you out of having to admit that he spent the night in your room! Don’t you fucking get it? Roni is using your boyfriend as a scapegoat,” I said confidently. “She doesn’t give a shit about you. She just cares because you’re dating someone in the MC she wants to smear.”
Patti was silent for a long time. “I don’t believe you,” she said finally. “Roni was the one who told me it was okay if Derrick stayed in the first place,” she argued vehemently. “And if she was trying to fuck me over, don’t you think she would have lied?”
“No,” I said sharply. Nausea came over me in such a strong wave that I had to lean over and retch. Nothing came up, but I didn’t feel better when I straightened myself. “No, she wouldn’t really care about that, Patti.”
Patti was quiet again. “I have to go,” she said suddenly, her voice sounded hurried and panicked. “Bye.”
I rolled my eyes as the dial tone buzzed in my ear. “Fuck her,” I mumbled, throwing my phone across the room and taking a perverse pleasure in the sound of it cracking against the wall.
Joshua stared at me. “So Roni was behind this whole thing.”
I bit my lip and nodded. “I feel like such a fucking moron for listening to her.” I moaned, putting my head in my hands and resting my forehead on my knees. “I can’t believe she was lying the whole goddamn time!”
Joshua moved closer. For a second, I thought he was going to put his hand on my back as a gesture of comfort. Judging from the confused expression on his face, he was probably thinking the same thing. “It sucks,” Joshua said sharply. “What was the revenge plan?”
A sinking feeling came over me just as nausea came roaring back. Before I could leap to the side, a rush of bile came up my throat. It was hot, sour, and thick and I choked on the taste as I struggled to swallow it. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I flopped back down on the bed and stared at the grimy ceiling. "You're going to hate me," I mumbled, covering my eyes with my hands. There was still a glass of beer on the bedside table and I reached for it, drinking almost the whole thing in one gulp. It went down warm and carbonated but at least it washed the taste of vomit out of my mouth.
“I already kind of hate you,” Joshua said. There was no trace of mirth or laughter in his voice. “You lied to me for years,” he added slowly. “Just in case you forgot.”
“I feel sick,” I whined. Forcing myself to take a deep breath, I sat up and stared straight at Joshua. “Things are bad, Joshua. This is really bad.”
Joshua licked his full, sensual lips. “What happened?”
“After the attack, Roni was the one who roused up the whole club about getting revenge,” I said slowly. “I wanted to steal your arms dealer from you and take over the city, but she was convinced that wasn’t enough. She wants to drag the cops into this, Joshua. The fucking police!”
Joshua gaped at me. “That’s so wrong,” he said, twisting his face into a disgusted expression. “She’s a fucking monster if she wants to snitch on an MC like that.”
“I know,” I said quickly. “I remember what happened to Hell’s Queens.” Joshua gave me a blank look. “They were wiped off the map because one of their girls was raped, and they snitched on another MC running the same drugs they were,” I said. “They all went to jail, and they were all killed in prison for being fucking snitches. Roni didn’t listen, though. She was fucking hell-bent on dragging the cops into this for some reason.”
“So, what’s the plan?” Joshua’s voice was heavy and painful to hear. “She’s just going to call the cops on us, then?” His voice rose louder and louder. “She’s going to fucking ruin my MC because of a lie?” He stood up and balled his hands into fists, shoving them into his pockets.
“She’s going to have the cops show up when you meet the Russians,” I said miserably, feeling sicker than I had before. “She…she seduced them, and now she knows when you’re doing the big meeting on Saturday.”
Joshua shook his head. "That fucking bitch," he said, frowning and kicking at a clod of dirt on the floor. "Wait," Joshua said, staring up at me. "She's a lesbian, right? How did she seduce those guys?"
“Work is work,” I said with a shrug. “I don’t fucking know.” Joshua stared at me and I felt a hot flush come over my cheeks. “What?”
“I don’t believe you,” Joshua said. He shook his head and sat down heavily, glancing around the room. “I think you know exactly how she did it.”
I bit my lip. “She gave them head,” I mumbled. “She met them outside, in the desert, near where the gun deal is supposed to go down on Saturday. And they promised her the date and time were set in stone.”
Joshua shook his head again. “This is so fucked up,” he breathed slowly. “I have no fucking idea what to say to you right now, Jasmine.”
I winced again at his use of my new name. “I know,” I said meekly. “I’m sorry. But I didn’t want to go to the cops! I kept telling everyone that it was a bad idea! And Roni got all the other girls on board and they fucking railroaded me until I agreed!”
Joshua looked at me and narrowed his eyes. The disgust on his face was obvious. “You’re not a fucking leader,” he spat. “You barely know how to lead yourself! You aren’t fucking fit to lead an MC right now, letting your girls run all over you like that! You’re supposed to be their goddamned president!”
All I could do was hang my head. I knew everything that Joshua was accusing me of was true, and yet I didn’t want to cop to owning any of it. I knew that this was my fault, that I should have dug my heels in and really argued when Roni brought up bringing the cops around. I knew that it was my fault. But still, even though Joshua and I had come clean to each other, I couldn’t make myself apologize.
“I’m sorry that I hurt you, Joshua,” I said in a shaky voice. “But I don’t know what to do.”
“You have to stop Roni,” Joshua said in a warning tone. “You have to fucking warn her against showing up or calling the cops, Jasmine. You can’t ruin our lives like this. My guys aren’t rapists. Derrick’s a selfish asshole, but he wouldn’t rape anyone.”
“Then who did?” I asked in a small voice. “Who fucking did it?”