Clara

 

It was amazing how much this one job had changed my life. Instead of waking up alone in my own apartment, I was waking up every day next to a strong, caring man who had promised to protect me. Instead of waking up to more work every day, I woke up to Mason’s green eyes watching over me and to his arms, embracing me. I woke up feeling safe, comfortable, and happy. For the first time in my life, I knew what had really been missing the whole time.

 

There had never been anyone like Mason in my life. There had never been anyone who allowed me to feel safe and comfortable intimately.

 

Something had changed the first time we had sex. It was like the whole dynamic of our relationship shifted in those few minutes we shared of ecstasy and bliss. We were no longer at each other’s throats, except maybe to kiss each other there. We stopped trying to exert power over one another. We were together. We were equals. We had accepted each other.

 

We slept together a few more times in those first few days. We explored each other’s bodies as completely as time would allow, and we had all the time in the world. Mason had stayed home with me, avoiding the motorcycle club except for the occasional conversation with Mick. I hadn’t checked my phone in days, even though I was sure I would find countless messages from Skull when I did. We avoided everything beyond his balcony or his front door. We hid away from our professional lives to enjoy some personal bliss.

 

We spent those first few days in a paradise filled with flirtation and ecstasy. We stayed in bed. We cooked naked. We stayed up and drank late on his balcony. We drank early on his balcony. We cuddled on the couch and watched movies. We showered together. It was like a dream come true, a dream in which I could walk away from my life of crime with this man whose body and heart were strong enough to carry me to safety.

 

Alas, dreams were sometimes just dreams. They didn’t come true, and we eventually had to wake up to face reality.

 

I woke up alone. My hand rested on the empty spot where Mason’s body should have been. My head rested on his pillow. I heard murmuring from the other room, so I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I could see the couches from the bed, and as the world came into focus, I saw Mason sliding on his boots with his phone up to his ear. It looked a lot like MC business.

 

I pushed the covers back and slid my naked body out of bed to see what was going on. We seriously hadn’t worn clothes in almost a week, but Mason was sitting on the center couch with his colors on over a white t-shirt and blue jeans. His hair had been brushed back, instead of hanging down in front of his face as it had been for a few days. He glanced up at me as I approached and ended his call, telling the person on the other line that he was on his way.

 

“Let me guess, you’re still going after Skull,” I stated as I walked around behind him. I leaned forward and ran my hands down his strong, firm chest.

 

“Of course I am,” he said plainly.

 

“And you’ve been looking for him behind my back this whole time,” I teased him. “That’s why you’ve kept your conversations to text messages or why you’ve taken your calls outside, huh?”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t want to bother you with it all,” he sort of apologized. Well, I took it as an apology. I wasn’t quite sure if he meant it that way, or if he was just trying to soften the blow.

 

“I thought you had dropped it, honestly,” I said, making my voice a little firmer. I let the humor and amusement go from it.

 

“Why would I?” he asked.

 

“Because we have the perfect opportunity right now to walk away from all of it,” I tried to convince him. “We can get out of the business, leave everything behind, run off together, and start a new life.” I smiled as I rattled off my fantasy to him.

 

“Not hardly.” He laughed. “Look, I know Skull was behind the thefts. I know now that he had you stealing product from me so he could sell it and undermine my business.”

 

He grabbed one of my hands and turned around, looking up to me with his kind green eyes. There wasn’t an ounce of anger or hatred in them anymore. He’d gone soft for me. When he looked at me, all I saw was tenderness. I melted when I looked into those eyes.

 

“Besides,” he continued, “he threatened you. He sent those thugs after you.”

 

“We don’t know that for sure,” I argued. “Skull would never do anything like that to me.” I tried to sound convinced. After all, Skull had been the one telling me to get out of Mason’s HQ. He had called me. It wasn’t like I had called him after being locked up to try to get him to meet me somewhere, even though that was exactly what I was planning on doing when he called.

 

“Sure he wouldn’t,” Mason said, letting me go and getting up from the couch. He turned his back because he was getting ready to leave, but it really felt like he was turning his back on me.

 

“Why do you feel like you have to defend me, though?” I asked him. “I’m not asking you to do anything like this. I don’t expect it. You haven’t been to the clubhouse in almost a week. You’ve barely spoken to anyone in the MC. I’ve completely dropped off the face of the earth since those guys in the park. Let’s cut our losses and move on, Mason.”

 

“Cut our losses?” He turned around and looked at me like I’d gone crazy.

 

“Yes, let’s call it quits. Let’s pack up what we need and hit the road. We can retire. We can both afford it,” I explained. I glanced around his nice apartment overlooking downtown as a prime example of our financial stability.

 

He paused a moment and looked like he was considering what I had proposed. Then he shook his head and frowned. The way I saw it, if he could have put Storm’s Angels mostly aside for a week, there was no real reason he couldn’t just grab his money and go.

 

“I can’t call it quits, Clara. The MC is all I’ve ever known. I have a responsibility to my men. When I took over a few years ago, we were a small-time organization with a lot of chapters spread out and doing their own thing. Storm’s Angels focused mostly on petty crimes. We made a pretty penny doing that, but it wasn’t sustainable. Some of our members still had real, legitimate jobs. I didn’t agree with that, so I took over and turned things around. Now, we have a reputation for being ruthless and deadly to our rivals, but we are dependable to our partners,” he explained.

 

I stood and listened, staring down at the floor. I felt like a child being scolded by her father. I didn’t like that feeling. I’d spent my adult life not answering to anyone but Skull, and barely even to him. The whole point of my life was not to have to answer to anybody, and I wasn’t about to start answering to someone just because I slept with him.

 

“Now, I can’t run out on the empire I’ve built,” he continued. “If you want out of it all, that’s great. I’ll be happy to take care of you and protect you should your old boss come looking for you—and believe me, he will—but I can’t walk away from Storm’s Angels.” His voice was tender and patient as he explained himself to me.

 

“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you to walk away from it. I didn’t really expect you to take me seriously anyway. It’s just a fantasy I toy with every once in a while,” I said, walking around the couch and sitting down. If I were ever going to get out of this life, Mason was going to be my ticket out. Of course, if I couldn’t get him to leave the MC behind, I knew it would only be a matter of time before I got back into things through him.

 

“Why are you defending him?” Mason asked. “Why are you trying to keep me from going after Skull?”

 

“You wouldn’t understand,” I said, looking up at him. I couldn’t explain to him how I felt about my boss. Skull had taken me in and had taken care of me in much the same way Mason was talking about doing, except Skull had done it when I was very young. He could have taken advantage of me. He could have used me for so many things besides teaching me how to steal from other bosses.

 

Skull always had beautiful young girls around him, his private girls who took care of his needs. He had prostitutes and call girls, but he didn’t treat them like the little punk ass pimps on the street. Skull’s women did well for themselves. Skull merely offered contacts and protection. He could have thrown me into either of those positions, but he saw something in me.

 

“You’re special,” he would tell me. “You’re the daughter I never had.”

 

“Try me,” Mason said, bringing me back to his living room, back to sitting naked on his couch while he stood in front of me fully clothed.

 

“Look, he’s just done a lot for me, okay?” I said. “I don’t know that I’m ready to tell you the whole story right now. Just understand that there’s a lot there. He means a lot to me, despite the fact that a lot of people would describe him as being more of a snake than a man.”

 

“So, you two have a pretty thick history, then.” He rephrased my words.

 

“Yeah, you could say that.” I nodded.

 

He nodded, too, and stroked his chin. His eyes were deep in thought. He looked like he was searching for some sort of compromise.

 

“All right, fine, we’ll just shut down his drug business and take back what’s ours. How does that sound?” Mason asked me. He sounded like he really expected me to buy it, but I didn’t. I knew that no matter what happened when they confronted him, there would be a story about how something had gone sideways. Skull would end up getting shot either way. I couldn’t let Mason send his men after him.

 

“Fine, but that’s all you do,” I told him.

 

“It’s settled, then,” he said, nodding and turning away to finish getting ready to leave, except I wasn’t finished yet.

 

I stood up, feeling foolish for trying to confront him as naked as I was, but I didn’t have any other choice. “No, it’s not settled,” I told him. “If anything happens to him, it’s on you, Mason. Understand?”

 

“Hey, whoa, easy now.” He put his hands gently on my arms. “Look, I mean it, we’re just shutting down his drug business. He’s got a lot of stuff going on we don’t want any part of, but we’re taking back what’s ours, from the product to the clients. You want me to have him call you when we leave?” he asked in a vaguely condescending tone.

 

I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to fight with him. There was no point in it. He was probably lying to me anyway. I knew I never should have let it slip that Skull had been my boss, but he probably would have found out soon enough as Skull encroached on his territory more and more with the drugs I’d stolen from him.

 

“You do what you want,” I finally told him, raising my hands in submission. “I’m out of it. As long as you can provide me with a way out of this life, you do whatever you feel like you need to do.” I walked into the bedroom and started grabbing clothes he’d had delivered for me over the last few days.

 

“Where are you going?” he asked.

 

“Nowhere. I just feel foolish standing around trying to talk to you naked,” I told him, holding back any sign of anger that might have been in my voice.

 

“Well, at least you know you have my attention,” he joked.

 

“Are you saying you only take me seriously when I’m naked?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Hey, now, I didn’t say that.” He walked to the bedroom door. “Listen. That was Mick who called earlier. We think we’ve found Skull. I’m going to take a few guys with me in case things get hairy, but I’m going to try to talk him down from this new business of his, okay?”

 

“Take me with you,” I blurted out, not thinking about my words before they escaped from my mouth.

 

“I’m sorry?”

 

“Take me with you.” On second thought, it did sound like a good idea. “You can use me as collateral. Or I can talk to Skull for you. You know, I know him. I know what makes him tick.”

 

Mason thought about it for a moment. He stroked his stubble-covered chin from where he hadn’t shaved in a few days and narrowed his eyes as he considered my offer. Eventually, he shook his head. “Too risky,” he said. “He’s already threatened you once, whether you want to admit it was him or not. I can’t risk him trying something else. No, as strategic as it sounds, I don’t think it’s a good idea to have you there. You’ll be safer staying here.”

 

His phone rang, and he pulled it out of his pocket.

 

“It’s Mick. I’ve got to go,” he told me. “I’ll be back.” He turned away and answered his phone, grabbing his keys off the bar at the kitchen. He walked out the door, telling Mick he was on the way and that I wasn’t coming along.

 

I looked around the apartment. It had felt so comfortable with Mason there, but sitting alone in silence, his beautiful apartment quickly began to feel like a foreign place to me. And as a new place, I had the opportunity to explore it since Mason wasn’t around.

 

A moment’s feeling of guilt struck me as I sat there on his bed considering going through his things. This was his space, and we were working on building trust in the midst of a lifestyle that promoted distrust and suspicion.

 

I decided against it.

 

Instead, I pulled out my phone to check my messages and get caught up on what was going on in my professional life in my absence.