The Test
Somehow, Sofia thought she’d be more tired the morning after the party. Instead, she was the first one up. When she got home the day before, everyone wanted to know why Brandon was so adamant about talking to her. Thankfully, Sal had been there to settle everyone down. Everyone that is, but Alex. He was still on fire when she arrived, making her even more relieved she hadn’t been there when it all went down. Between Sal and her parents, they managed to get Alex to let it go—for now.
She stood lost in thought in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to finish brewing when Angel’s voice startled her. “Why you up so early, Sof? You gonna go running?”
The suspicion in his voice hurt. “No.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
Angel stopped at the center island of the kitchen and seemed to consider his next words before saying them. “Sofie, are you sure nothing else happened between you and Brandon?”
She turned to him, her insides falling apart all over again. “It was just a kiss, Angel. A mistake I’ll regret forever.” She hated being so melodramatic about it, but she was beginning to think that damn kiss would never stop haunting her.
He stared at her for a moment and her emotions took over. Eric hadn’t answered any of her calls the entire night and her whole family had been under such stress all because of her yesterday. She tried so hard but her emotions did her in.
“C’mere.” Angel walked around the island and held out his arms. She walked over to him and he hugged her. “Don’t cry, Sofie. It only makes me wanna go find that asshole and kick his ass.”
“It wasn’t all him, Angel.” She finally let it out. “I kissed him willingly.”
Angel pulled away from her to look at her face. “Why? Are you and Eric having problems?”
“No!” She shook her head. “The only person who’s ever kissed me before Brandon was Eric. I think the only reason I gave in to him was because I was curious. But it was so not worth it. I hurt Eric, and caused all this aggravation with my family.”
“You didn’t.” Angel’s forehead pinched. “His stupid ass did.”
“But it wasn’t all him. If I’d have just said no, none of this would be happening.”
“That’s what he wants you to think, Sof. He would’ve kept pushing, especially if he sensed even an ounce of… curiosity on your part. He should’ve never had you in his room in the first place.”
Sofia wiped the tears away and looked up at Angel unconvinced.
“Think about it. Why didn’t he ask any of us to come over and look at his shit? Why was he only interested in having you alone in his house?” Angel’s jaw worked as Sofia was so accustomed to seeing her brothers do when they were mad.
They talked for a little longer, with Angel warning her once again to keep her distance from Brandon. He also made her promise if she so much as got the inkling that he was following her again, to call one of them ASAP.
Back up in her room with her much needed cup of coffee, Sofia tried calling Eric again. To her surprise, he answered. She was so sure he wouldn’t answer she hadn’t even prepared what she would say. But she’d thought about it enough last night, so she took a deep breath, willing her voice not to break. “Hey.”
“How’d it go last night?” He didn’t sound angry, but he did sound down.
“As you can imagine.” She frowned. “Alex was a walking inferno even when I got here.” There was an uncomfortable silence for a long moment. Sofia cleared her voice and lay back down on her bed, gripping the phone to her ear. “Are you still mad at me?”
More silence. She squeezed her eyes, a warm tear slipping down the side of her face. She feared the worse. They’d never get past this.
“I’m just trying to understand why after everything he’s done, you’re still willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.”
Sofia sat up on her bed, determined to make him understand even at the risk of making things worse. “Because I can’t in clear conscience just put all the blame on him. Don’t you think it would be easier for me to just agree with you and my brothers? Yes, it was all him. He duped me and poor innocent little me fell for it, he’s a monster! But I can’t, Eric. I knew just going to his house would be an issue with you and my brothers and I still did.”
“You wanted to?”
“I would never choose to hurt you. He said he wanted to show me something, said I didn’t even have to come in he could bring it out. But I chose to go in. Not because I wanted to, Eric, but because at the time it didn’t seem like that big a deal.” She stopped to take a deep breath. “My whole life I’ve been called or it’s been insinuated that I was naïve. That day…”
She wasn’t sure if she should go on, but it felt like this issue would linger forever if she didn’t just say it.
“That day what?” His tone was hard again like it’d been the night before.
“That day I felt something when I went in his room. I wasn’t being naïve, Eric. You all want to believe that I was completely in the dark about what might happen. I had a feeling something would. I could’ve left, walked right out the moment I got that notion but I didn’t. I chose to stay. There’s no way he could’ve planned that.” For a moment, she thought he hung up. “Are you still there?”
He didn’t answer, but she heard him breathe. When he finally spoke, his voice was clearly strained. “So when you told me it just happened so fast you didn’t get a chance to think, that was a bunch of bullshit?”
“No, it did happen fast.”
“But you knew it would and yet you still hung around for it.”
“Eric—”
“I had a beautiful girl throw herself at me last night, Sofia. I could’ve easily done something with her but I didn’t even consider it for second. You know why?”
Sofia didn’t respond. Something squeezed at her throat. When she didn’t answer, he went on.
“Because I would never do to you, what you fucking did to me.”
Sofia was left clutching her phone as the line clicked and Eric hung up on her again.
***
Eric was meeting his dad and the girls for late lunch. His dad called early in the morning, but Eric sent it to voicemail. His dad apologized for his insensitive behavior the night before and asked that he please join them for lunch.
The only reason Eric agreed to go was because he felt compelled to apologize to Jennifer. He never meant to humiliate her. After getting off the phone with Sofia, he now wished he hadn’t called his dad back to tell him he would be there. He was in absolutely no mood for socializing, but his dad had been so glad he was coming and kept apologizing and thanking him. Eric couldn’t bring himself to cancel.
When he got to the table, the girls were nowhere in sight. His dad was sitting at a table by himself.
“What happened? Did they decide not to come?”
His dad shook his head. “No, they’ll be here in about a half hour.” He motioned for Eric to take the seat across from him. “I wanted to talk to you alone first.”
Eric took a seat and prepared himself.
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“About last night, I know you think that I just don’t like Sofia, but—”
“No, Dad you were right.” Feeling the anger, but mostly hurt, inundate him again. He told his dad about the conversation he had with Sofia that morning, then he added. “You know last night Jennifer offered herself to me, no strings attached? She’s going back to New York and said we probably would never see each other again, anyway. Sofia would never find out, and I couldn’t even consider it for a moment. And Jennifer is a great girl. But I could never do that to Sofia.” His dad stared at him, hanging on every word. He was sure his dad was shocked that Eric was spilling his guts like this. But he needed to, needed to let it out, so he might start to heal. “Not only did Sofia do what she did, she did it with Brandon, that piece of trash from up the street. The guy that’s been nothing but an asshole to her and her brothers all her life.” He shook his head. The more he thought about it, the more disgusted he felt. “I thought I could forgive her because I can’t stand being away from her, but I don’t know anymore. I’ve been thinking about what you said last night, maybe she doesn’t deserve me.”
His dad leaned over and patted him on the knee. “Don’t put too much weight on what I said last night. I was drunk and not thinking straight.”
Eric shook his head. The overwhelming pain he’d felt when he first found out about Sofia and Brandon months ago was back. Only this time an utter disgust accompanied it. She’d let that asshole in. And now he had no idea how to get him out. He’d be the perpetual reminder that his beautiful Sofia wasn’t the perfect girl like he’d always thought. He’d held her on a pedestal since they were kids, and Brandon had knocked her right off.
They talked until the girls got there. His dad warned him not to make any rash decisions. Maybe wait at least until he got back. Eric agreed, still not convinced that he could actually go through ending things with Sofia.
After breakfast, they all went for a stroll. Eric waited until his dad and Tina were walking ahead of them and out of earshot. Their walk up until then had been a quiet one. He could tell Jennifer was embarrassed. She’d hardly said a word all through breakfast.
He turned to Jennifer. “I’m sorry if I—”
“No.” She placed her hand on his arm and stopped. “Please. Please, whatever you do, don’t apologize for anything. I feel so stupid.”
“But I didn’t mean to—”
“Mean to what, Eric? Remain faithful to your girlfriend?” She scoffed. “She’s a lucky girl. You shouldn’t have to apologize for being a good guy. Like you said, anyone else might’ve taken advantage of the situation, girlfriend or not. I should’ve never acted the way I did.” She squeezed his arm. “I should be the one apologizing, and I am. My behavior last night was appalling.”
Eric smiled. “I wouldn’t call it appalling. You’re young, beautiful, and single. It was New Year’s Eve and you were having fun—nothing wrong with that.”
With a weak smile, Jennifer started walking again and shrugged. Eric walked alongside her but she didn’t look at him. Instead, she stared at the ground. “We both know it was wrong of me to push even after you so politely turned me down, but I’d rather not dwell on that anymore.” Finally, she glanced up at him again. “Can we just forget it ever happened?”
“What happened?”
Jennifer gave him an appreciative smile. After strolling around a nearby open market place, Eric managed to push his issues with Sofia to the back of his mind, at least for a while.
After about an hour, they stopped to munch on some churros they’d purchased from a vendor.
“Eric.” Jennifer leaned against the railing of the bridge they were standing on. “I know I was the one that asked you to forget about last night, but I can’t help but feel like you’re still feeling uncomfortable.”
Eric turned to her. “Not at all, I just have a lot on my mind today.” He bit into the churro and looked out in the road below them.
“Anything you wanna talk about?”
Talking to another girl about Sofia might help, but after what happened last night, he didn’t think it a good idea. He shook his head. “Not really, just school and my internship.”
When Eric got back to his dorm room that afternoon, he read the long text Sofia had sent him earlier. He hadn’t wanted to hear what she had to say all day. Even now, he wasn’t sure wanted to, but he read it anyway.
I want you to know I’ve never once given any thought to what my life would be like without you in it…until now. I know even after I explained why I let it happen, you weren’t completely satisfied with my answer, but since then I’ve had time to reflect and I think I have a more honest explanation. I was afraid to tell you before, but because of everything that’s happened I think you deserve the truth. After giving it much thought, maybe my brothers were right. Brandon was wrong for taking me into his room and even initiating the kiss. I’ll give them that. But nothing takes back the fact that I let him. Why? I gave in to the moment. Plain and simple. Curiosity got the best of me. Eric. I can’t take back what I’ve done. Believe me, if I could, I would. I just want you to know if I live to be a hundred, the fact that I gave in will be my biggest regret. Even if my prayers are answered and somehow we work things out, I will forever regret the pain that I’ve caused you. No matter what happens. I love you. Always have. Always will.
Eric read it several times, the lump in his throat present the entire time. He was going to have to do one of two things. Either he got over that damn kiss and let it go, or he got over Sofia and let her go. At the moment, both seemed impossible.
***
Eric didn’t respond to Sofia’s text. He hadn’t responded to any of her texts in days. Including the last one where she said she was done torturing herself. He still couldn’t stomach discussing the fact that she’d given in to Brandon just like that. She probably even enjoyed the moment.
He was also done torturing himself. He’d spent every evening that week so far after classes and his internship with his dad and the girls. They caught a show one of the nights and tonight he and Jennifer were on their way to a concert. His dad had gotten tickets for them. Some Spanish rock band Eric had never heard of. His dad said they were supposed to be good, but Eric didn’t care. He just wanted the distraction. Having gone days for the first time ever, without any contact with Sofia was killing him. If this was a taste of what his life would be like withoue like wt her, he was going to be one miserable bastard.
Eric held Jennifer’s hand through the crowd as they made their way into the concert. They stopped to buy drinks at the concession stand.
“You want a mixed drink?” Eric remembered the kind of drinks Jennifer preferred New Year’s Eve.
“I’ll take a beer,” Jennifer said, blushing.
Eric laughed. “You don’t have to.”
“Trust me, I learned my lesson.”
They took their beers and walked around the huge lobby of the arena. They were early. It was fun to people watch. Before long, they were on their fourth beers. Eric’s dad had given him one of his credit cards. The prices for everything in the concessions were ridiculous, but his dad insisted he not worry about the money and just enjoy himself.
Since this was Jennifer’s last night here, they planned on going out to a club after. They slowed down on the beers once the concert started. After having to make a restroom run a couple times, they decided missing so much of the concert wasn’t worth it. The band was actually good.
Once at the club, however, they decided Jennifer deserved to have a good time and let her hair hang down without it turning into a disaster like New Year’s. They stuck to beer, but had plenty of it. The clubs in Spain were so different than the ones in the states. In the U.S. closing time was usually around one or two in the morning. It was just after midnight and things were just getting started. The bartender told them closing time was at six!
Eric had class in the morning. He wasn’t planning on pulling an all-nighter, but he still had a few hours in him. They danced and continued to drink, though Jennifer ordered water a few times in between beers.
Seeing the way guys eyeballed Jennifer reminded him of his trip to Cancun with Sofia. He’d been so relieved when she asked him to go with her. Not because he didn’t trust her, but at the time he’d been worried for her safety. Thinking back now, the way the guys had gawked at her at the bars even with him at her side, he couldn’t help but wonder if she might’ve given into her curiosity way back then, had he not been there. Her girlfriends sure as hell got crazy. Anger flooded him. He downed the rest of his beer and ordered another one.
They’d just handed it to him when Jennifer walked out of the restroom and headed toward him. A guy stepped in front of her, saying something that made her smile. It could’ve been the alcohol or maybe even the sudden hot rush of adrenaline he was feeling over thoughts of Sofia. Whatever it was, he started toward Jennifer with only one purpose. The second he reached her, he slid his arm around her waist pulling her closely to him and kissed her forehead. She smelled damned good.
“Everything okay?” He turned to the guy, who smirked, but shook his head.
“Everything’s cool. You’re girlfriend is stunning.” The guy lifted his beer toward Eric in a good natured gesture of peace.
Eric clinked his bottle against the guy’s and forced a smile. With that, the guy walked away. Jennifer turned to Eric but didn’t pull away from his embrace. “What was that about?”
He leaned his forehead against hers. “Just making sure everything was okay.”
“I didn’t look okay?”
She’d obviously had a mint in the ladies room, because her breath smelled of mint. Did her mouth taste like it, too? Curiosity.
They stood there without saying anything for what seemed like too long. With the music blaring around them and people still dancing on the tables and chairs, no one noticed them just standing there. He gulped when she licked her pink lips and stared at his. He was so close he could feel her warm breath against his lips. “Eric?”
“Hmm?” He closed his eyes, fighting with himself.
He should let go of her. Walk away. Another part disagreed. An eye for an eye. Sofie would have to understand.
“Are you gonna kiss me?” She whispered so close to his mouth he could almost taste her.
“You want me to?”
“Yes.” She said this into his mouth.
Eric licked her bottom lip, tasting the mint. She trembled in his arms. It immediately felt wrong. He hugged her, pulling his face away from hers. Instead, he kissed the side of her head.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear breathlessly. “Please, this time let me apologize. I shouldn’t have done that.”
She didn’t say anything, just took a deep breath. When she finally pulled away, she looked him in his eyes. “We should go.”
The cab ride back to her hotel room was a quiet one. Eric was so mad at himself. He’d been totally unfair to Jennifer, using her to get back at Sofia. How immature was he? Like that would’ve made things any better. She made him stop apologizing before they even got into the cab. When they reached her hotel, she turned to him and kissed him on the cheek. “It’s really nice to know there are still good guys out there. Don’t feel bad, Eric. You’ve given me hope.”
Eric smiled and kissed her hand. “You don’t need hope, Jenny. Any man would be lucky to have you. It was a pleasure spending time with you this week. I hope I do get to see you again some day. Have a safe trip.”
The second she was out of the cab and turned toward the hotel, he let his head fall back. He put his hand over his eyes. Could he be a bigger ass?
Before they even reached his dorm, thoughts of Jenny had already taken a distant second in his mind. He missed Sofia more than ever. Any chance of sleep tonight would be in vain. He plopped into bed, licking his lips. He could be making love to Jenny this very minute, but all he could think about was Sofia. Son of a bitch.