Chapter 7
Friend? Friend, my ass.
Julian wasn't sure if it was a past relationship, but it was obvious there was something more than a simple friendship there. Sam wasn't a bad looking guy. A bit older than Matt, possibly mid-forties, but there was something about his eyes that made you want to sit and tell him your life story. Sam wasn't Julian's type, but if the guy was Matt's preference, then Julian didn't stand half a chance.
Fuck.
The sudden stab of anger came out of nowhere. This older guy with the let's talk warm brown eyes and slightly curling hair didn't look so good to him anymore.
He stopped smiling as he released Sam's hand.
"It's amazing the difference it makes just removing that wall," Matt said in awe. He was either completely oblivious to the thoughts that ran through Julian's mind, hopefully, or he was trying to change the subject.
"Yeah, it's not needed for structural support so having it there is just killing the light."
"I can't get over how much you've done in the first few days," Sam said as he looked around the room and down the hall.
"I'm trying to get the water and power up as fast as possible," Julian said, eyeing Matt who ran his hands through his hair repeatedly.
"You were right, Matt, he is the right guy," Sam said with a smile as he looked over to his friend.
Matt's cheeks flushed with color. He must have realized he was messing with his hair because he shoved both hands in his pockets then looked down, probably to hide the deeper red that was burning his face and now ears.
"Uh, yeah," he said quietly then looked up at Julian with the oddest expression on his face.
Julian couldn't place exactly what that look meant, but it was enough to make him smile again and feel his jeans suddenly become just a little bit tighter. He couldn't take his eyes away from Matt. The tousled hair, flushed cheeks; Julian wondered if this was what Matt looked like after sex. Damn, he looks good. Matt gave him a tiny smile and suddenly Julian wished he wasn't covered in dust and sweat with an employee-employer thing going and someone else in the room. Fuck.
Sam cleared his throat and broke the moment. "Well, I'm glad to see Matt's in good hands."
"Yeah," Julian said with his voice a little hoarser than expected.
"I'll let you get back to work," Matt said with a tentative smile before making his way out of the room with Sam.
Julian couldn't stop looking at Matt as he walked away.
"Oh shit," Matt turned abruptly, grabbed the bottled water from the window sill and handed it to Julian. "I forgot."
"Thanks," Julian said softly as he slowly reached for the bottle. Their fingers brushed slightly and Julian felt a current travel down his body straight to his balls and up his spine, making his neck and head tingle.
Matt just stood there looking at him and Julian couldn't help doing the same. His eyes never left Matt's as he wrapped his lips around the bottle and took a swig. He could see the color rise again in Matt's cheeks.
"How are you feeling?" Julian asked. "Your arms still hurting?"
"Better. Uh, I'll let you get back to it," Matt said, finally breaking the silence. "If you need some help with anything, just holler."
"Will do," he said with a half smile as Matt left the room.
Julian took another sip of his water and ran the cold bottle against his forehead then the back of his neck. He needed to keep it together. Matt unsettled him to the point where he had a hard time keeping himself in check. Speaking of hard… "Down boy," he muttered as he pressed his palm to the front of his jeans.
He put the water on the window sill and continued with his work. He needed to find a way to detach, to keep it business as usual. The problem was he didn't want to. After his little sledgehammer swing session with Matt, he was screwed. Now he knew how it felt to be pressed against Matt's body. He wanted to know what it felt like to run his fingers through Matt's hair, pin Matt's body against his and anything else, a bed, a wall—he didn't care. Just anything to feel the pressure of Matt's body against his again to see if Matt would get that same flustered look Julian was becoming addicted to. He tried to shake off the visual forming in his mind. He needed to distance himself. His head was telling him one thing and every other cell in his body screamed otherwise.
"I'm so fucked," he said as he grabbed the sledgehammer and began to smash into the remaining section of the standing wall.
* * * *
"Do you need me to check up on you more often?" Sam asked in a teasing tone on his way out the front door.
Matt tried to look surprised. "What are you talking about?" He was unable to meet Sam's eyes.
"It's kinda obvious," Sam said softly.
Sam's consoling hand on his shoulder couldn't ease his embarrassment.
"Ugh, I've got a problem, Sam," he said and hid his face in his hands.
"Hey, it's okay. It's been a while so it might be a good thing. Besides, I'm getting the feeling it's mutual so I think it's a good thing."
Matt quickly removed his hands and looked at Sam as a hint of hope began to rise in him. "You think?"
Sam laughed. "Yeah, man. Totally."
Matt smiled. "I figured he was gay, but I didn't think he was attracted to me." He looked at Sam thoughtfully. "What did I miss?" he asked the always insightful Sam.
Sam just shook his head. "You know, sometimes you boys just shock the hell out of me and try to find some deeper mystery when things are right there in front of you. As plain as the nose on your face," he said as he tapped Matt's nose with his finger for emphasis.
Matt looked at him and began to get frustrated. He couldn't figure it out. He'd known Julian now for a few days, and sure, they'd had a few unusual moments but those had been in the early hours with the initial power struggle between them. Here he was, hoping Julian was at least a tiny bit attracted to him, but he didn't have a clue. Yet Sam was so positive, certain, the attraction was mutual.
"What the fuck did I miss?" he asked, following Sam to his car.
Sam laughed as he sat in the driver's seat. He just shook his head and said, "It's mutual, Matt. The both of you couldn't hide your hard-ons if you tried."
Matt just stood there in the middle of the street for a moment after Sam drove away. How could he have missed that? Damn. He walked back toward the house with his mind racing. It did seem as if something had passed between them upstairs just a little while ago. When Sam had made that comment about Julian being the right guy, it had almost sounded as if Sam was implying something else. When Matt looked up and saw Julian's gaze on him, he couldn't help but smile. He had been so mesmerized by Julian's stare he hadn't realized he was standing in the middle of the room staring until Sam had cleared his throat.
Then the water. Shit. When their fingers had brushed, a surge of heat traveled like a tidal wave throughout his body. Julian's gaze was as steady as his. But when he'd wrapped his lips around the bottle to take a drink, all Matt could imagine was Julian wrapping his lips around something else, and it sure as hell wasn't a water bottle. He'd needed to leave the room before he lost his composure and did something completely different than keeping it business.
Another crash came from upstairs. He stood there, debating if he should go up and help. He entered the house and started to make his way to the stairs but stopped. This situation had to stay professional. He closed his eyes as he battled with himself, a white-knuckle grip on the railing kept him in place. He finally let out the breath he was holding, opened his eyes, and released the railing. He looked up one last time before turning around and heading to his makeshift office.
He had to finish this place. For Liam, his aunt, and himself. He needed to regain control of his life and define who Matt Doner was. He'd left the old self behind the day his freedom returned and he had changed his last name. The question was…who was he going to become? That should be his focus right now. Building this halfway house was important, and he was going to make sure he didn't screw this up by going after the one builder who was willing to work on his terms.
He was determined to get this renovation completed within the year. He wanted it finished by around this time next year in memory of Liam. With a renewed sense of responsibility, he sat at his desk and started running the numbers on the various accounts and estimates. He was going to do this and put everything else aside that would inhibit the completion of the renovation. Even if what he was putting aside was upstairs and possibly mutual.
* * * *
Within the first week, Julian had managed to get follow-up permits, fix the two patches in the roof, and replace the broken windows. With power in a portion of the house, he could finally plug in a few lamps and fans. Never had Matt appreciated electricity more than when he was able to walk around in the evening without stumbling over the uneven floor or getting splinters in his hands from a rough edge he couldn't see. The combination of electricity and running water…well, hell, it felt as if he had won the lottery. He wasn't sure how Julian had managed to do it all within a week, but one thing was certain, when Julian was determined, it was damn near impossible to find a more dedicated person.
Since Sam had mentioned the potential mutual situation, Matt started noticing a few details. How Julian's gaze lingered a little longer than usual and how he smiled at him every time Matt ran his fingers through his hair. He tried to keep their conversations short and businesslike, but sometimes he just wanted to linger and be around Julian. They'd occasionally take a break down to the coffee shop or simply sit and relax for a few minutes in the backyard. They talked about the renovation's progress and what was next on the agenda. Even though they kept their chats to the construction, never discussing anything personal, it was causal, nice. There was something comforting about being in Julian's presence. He was no longer intimidating, rather he had a calming effect. Matt felt safer than he had for some time. He felt he could be himself.
He sat at his desk and sighed as he thought about what had happened yesterday. In an attempt to be around Julian for a while, he'd offered his help with some of the drywall upstairs.
"Come here," Julian said.
Matt, being the obedient assistant, did as ordered.
Julian unexpectedly reached up. "You've got something here," he said as he pulled at the side of Matt's locks. He showed him a small piece of a white substance, evidence of what he had removed. Then Julian ran his fingers through Matt's hair a few times slowly, claiming there was more 'construction crap' in it.
Construction crap, dirt, dust, he didn't give a shit. It felt great to have Julian's fingers in his hair. But Julian abruptly stopped. "There you go," he said rather hoarsely then turned to continue working on the wall he was rebuilding. Moment over. Matt still remembered the sensation of Julian's touch. Soft, caressing, not harsh or rough as one would expect with his appearance.
He sighed and tried to focus on the spreadsheets in front of him. Everything was moving along rather nicely. He finally had the money from the sale of his condo and the project was going as planned. Somewhat. He weighed the pros and cons of pushing things with Julian. He just couldn't do it. Things were great between them and the renovation was on schedule. He hoped the trend would continue even though the situation with Julian was slowly wearing away at him.