“Thanks so much for spending the afternoon with the kids,” Mom says as she bends to sweep a few toys off the floor. “Ruthie! What did I tell you about putting your toys away?” She shakes her head with a small smile. “That child…”

Louis comes downstairs, dressed in a casual shirt and shorts. “Allen and Meg said they’ll meet us at the club in twenty minutes.” He looks her up and down, taking in her short skirt and heels. “You’re wearing that to golf?”

Mom lowers the toys into the large bin near the wall of the living room, which Ruthie has turned into a pseudo-playroom. “I have no idea what to wear! I’ve never been golfing before.” She kicks off her shoes. “Your friends are going to think I’m a complete idiot…” she mutters as she goes to her room.

Louis grins to me. “I find it so adorable how nervous your mother gets when she meets my friends and family. Have I ever told you how I had to practically drag her into my parents’ home when she met them for the first time? Yeah, I must have told you that already.” He chuckles.

I manage a small smile.

“You okay, Cassie?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about something.”

He takes a step closer. “Are you having problems with the…” His eyes dip to my legs.

“What? No, everything’s fine with the, um, stuff,” I lie.

“Oh, okay. I was just wondering because you haven’t spoken much. Are you and Damarian doing all right?”

It’s so liberating that Louis knows Damarian’s true identity. When Mom first broke the news to him, he thought he hit his head and imagined the whole thing.

“Everything is fine,” I lie again. “Thanks for asking and being so cool about it. I know it must still make you feel weird.”

He smiles again. “I love how it keeps life interesting. I’m really looking forward to the wedding. Can’t wait to meet some of the merpeople. Well, I met them by your anniversary but I didn’t know they were mythical creatures. My whole mindset is different.”

My throat feels like it’s stuffed with cotton balls. Will there even be a wedding?

“Are you sure you’re okay, honey?”

I put on a fake smile. “Yeah. Just nervous about the wedding.”

He wraps an arm around me. “I know what you mean. But just remember that your wedding day marks the day you will be giving yourself over to your soulmate. And he’s giving himself over to you. Just look into his eyes the whole time. Trust me, nothing else will matter.”

“Thanks.”

He glances at his watch. “Now if only your mother would get dressed a little faster.”

I laugh. “No chance of that happening.”

Ruthie runs into the room, her Build a Bear bunny held securely in her arms. “Hi, Cassie!”

“Hey!” I take her in my arms and spin around. “Where have you been hiding? I’ve been here for like ten minutes.”

“Bobby’s in the middle of playing Crypt Madness. Could you believe he made it to level 50?”

“There goes my hope of actually having a conversation with him this afternoon,” I mutter.

She sticks the bear in my face. “Bunny says hi!”

I smile as I stroke the top of her head. “Hi, Bunny. Ooh, I see your friend Ruthie bought you a new dress and matching shoes. You look so pretty.”

“It’s mom’s favorite color. She always loved to wear purple.” She turns to my stepfather. “Can I have another ride, Louis? Please, please?”

He makes a face as though granting her request is such a chore.

She puts her hands on her hips. “Stop fooling around and give me a ride!”

He makes a monster sound and scoops her off the floor, throwing her over his shoulder. Ruthie shrieks in delight.

It’s so hard for me to be happy along with them when I have this huge weight on my mind and heart, but I need to be. I don’t want to miss out on sharing great times with my family. I need to believe that everything will work out and that we’ll soon put this behind us.

Once Ruthie is back on the floor, she says, “Now do it to Cassie!”

“No way!”

“I think your sister is a little too old for my shoulder.” Louis pinches her cheek.

“Ugh! I hate when you do that.”

“But your cheeks are so squishy.”

“Stop! Joanie! Your husband’s abusing me!”

Mom comes out of her room, dressed in appropriate golf clothes. “Louis, stop abusing Ruthie.” She does a little spin. “Better?”

“Much.” Louis takes hold of her arms and draws her in for a sweet kiss on the lips.

“Gross!” Ruthie covers her face with Bunny.

I ruffle her hair. “It’ll only be a few more years until you no longer find that gross.”

She makes a face. “Never.”

As soon as Mom and Louis leave, I scoop Ruthie into my arms and balance her on my hip. “So what’s the plan for today?”

“Eat junk food and watch PG-13 movies?”

“Do you really want to stay home all day? Let’s go to the park or to the beach. No, forget the beach.”

“What’s wrong with the beach?”

I want to have fun with my siblings and not be constantly reminded of the turmoil going on in my heart. “I taught there this morning and am a little sick of it.”

Her eyes bug out. “You’re bored of the beach?” She puts her hand on her forehead. “The world is coming to an end.”

I laugh and tickle her.

“Immune!”

“No, you’re not.”

“Okay!” she says as she tries to avoid my hand. “Okay, I’m not immune! Ooh, let’s go to the aquarium and see Damian’s whale show.”

And there goes the turmoil. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ruthie. He told me one of the whales is not feeling well. I think they canceled the shows for today.” I hate lying to my siblings.

She frowns. “Oh okay. So can we stay in and watch Pg-13 movies? Please, please, please?”

Why do kids have the power to win you over with their begging eyes?

“How about we keep the movies PG?” I say.

She raises a fist in the air. “Hooray!”

“But only if your brother agrees to join us, too.”

“Good luck with that.”

Ruthie and I enter his room and find him at his desk, his eyes glued to his computer screen.

“Oh look, he breathes,” I say. “For a second there, I thought he was a zombie.”

Ruthie giggles.

“Shut up,” he mumbles.

“Come on.” I put my hands on his shoulders. “It’s not every day your awesome big sister comes to babysit. Your wish is my command. At least for today.”

“Then my wish is to play this game all night. I need to beat Timmy.”

“Cassie promised we’d watch PG-13 movies and eat junk food all night, Bobby!”

“I said PG movies.”

She gives me a face like she knows she’ll get her way. Which she probably will.

“Not interested,” Bobby says.

“We won’t choose any girly ones. Promise.”

He sighs and exits the game. “Fine.”

I ruffle his hair again as we leave his room. “I love spending time with you, Bobby.”

His shoulders hunch. “I know. Sorry.”

He’s still dealing with his parents’ deaths, though he has come such a long way and I’m so proud of him. It’s a little easier for Ruthie, since she was much younger and doesn’t fully understand what losing someone means. For now, she’s content in knowing that her parents are always with her and watching over her. I’m not sure how she’ll feel when she’s older, but I’ll do whatever I can to make her happy.

“Bobby chooses this time,” I say as he crouches before the DVD cabinet in the living room.

“And you can choose PG-13!” Ruthie hops onto the couch.

“Ruthie…”

“What? Just make sure it doesn’t have nakedness and too many swear words.”

I can’t help it but laugh.

“Okay.” Bobby gets up from the floor. “I choose this.”

I read the label. They rated this movie PG-13 because of scary images. I’m always hesitant about this sort of thing because of what the kids have been through with their parent’s deaths.

“Are you sure you guys will be okay with this?” I ask.

“Yes!”

“Okay, because if you have nightmares tonight and want to sleep with my mom, don’t put the blame on me.”

“I’ll microwave popcorn,” Bobby says.

“Bring cookies, potato chips, and soda, too!”

As we settle down to watch the movie, images start to play in my head, of a future I can have. If Damarian and I decide to have kids and they turn out to be humans, they’ll be part of Ruthie and Bobby’s lives. But if they turn out to be merkids, they won’t get to know their aunt and uncle. I still have no idea when I plan on telling them about me and Damarian being merpeople, but it seems like it’ll be a long time down the road. I wish my kids can live in both land and sea, but I can’t see how that’s possible.

I guess Damarian and I will just have to figure it out once we get there. Assuming we get there. No, Damarian will give me answers tonight and we’ll find a solution and then we’ll go back to living happily ever after.

I’m sure of it.