Epilogue
Forty-one years old
Three months later
[Midge]
I wake alone in the bed, but not alone in my heart. I hear the noise of a new school year beginning downstairs. Today will be a day of a several fresh starts. I look down at my left hand as I often do and marvel at how lucky I am. A beautiful single diamond stands above the tiny-cut diamond band and a solid silver one. Stacking rings signify my marriage to Hank.
“How long you two been together?” Lily once asked.
“Not long enough,” Hank told her. “And I’ve been waiting too long for her.”
Once Hank asked me to marry him—the official question—he decided he had waited long enough for me. We married a week later at the local courthouse. We didn’t want to keep playing games of hide-and-seek—meaning hide in the bathroom for sex or have Hank sneak out during the night. It might seem fast to some, but my boys and I were ready for Hank to officially be part of our family.
I slip from bed, tug on my robe, and head down the staircase. My stomach flutters with all this day will bring.
“Big day for your mom today,” I hear Hank say from the kitchen.
“She’s gonna be great,” Liam says. I’ve paused on the stairs, listening to the general morning chatter between my boys and the man I love. He’s making lunches and checking schedules. I smile with a shake of my head. Who knew how great forty-one would turn out to be?
“I love her office,” Ronin adds. My office. I like the sound of that. I decided to work from home in a space above my garage. The boys helped me clean out the clutter over the summer and Hank fixed up the walls. Today, I’m pitching Starlight Farms, in Montana of all places. It’s a video-chat conference. After all my designs for Pendelton, I want this account to take my suggestions and make them come to fruition. Not to mention, I think it will add to their company…and mine. I’m taking the risk to go out on my own.
“Ronin, seven o’clock. Practice.” Ronin groans but I hear the smile in his voice. He’s thrilled Hank is his new drum instructor. Hank broke out his old kit and moved it into our garage. He makes Ronin practice under his tutelage each night and then takes a turn himself. He admits he doesn’t want to go back to his old rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle, but drumming seems to be a part of him. I like to watch as he bangs away, getting lost in his head and worked up. I worry at times he’s projected back to some memory, some image of him and her on stage, but then he looks up at me. He always catches me watching him as if he knows I’m there.
“It’s your eyes,” he says. “I’ll never look away.”
“I have a date tonight,” Elston announces. His girlfriend is cute, although a little shy around the noise of men. She’ll learn, if she sticks. Then again, Elston is too young to be so seriously involved. He’s only a senior in high school.
“Not tonight,” Hank warns. “Bring Eliza here.”
I chuckle. With summer over, Elston can no longer date on a week night as we return to school days and he knows it, but he’s always pushing just a little. Thank goodness Hank is made of strong stuff. He rolls with the punches from my oldest. It’s been a summer of learning and loving with a few lessons in parenthood in between.
“What’s tonight?” Elston asks.
“We celebrate.” This man. Such confidence in me.
“What are we celebrating?” Ronin asks.
“Let’s not step ahead of ourselves,” I say, descending the final steps into the kitchen. There is one thing I’m confident Hank will celebrate, although I’m nervous to tell him.
“Life is one step at a time.” Hank winks at me. “I’m ready to climb.”
I smile and he bites his lip. We try to keep the PDA on the downlow in front of the boys but sometimes I just want to tackle him despite them. Lately, I seem out of control with sexual need but I now know the reason in addition to my insatiable attraction to him.
“What are we having for dinner to celebrate?” Liam asks.
“Hot dogs,” Hank says, completely serious. “In a hallway.”
I sputter my orange juice, choking a bit as I glare at Hank. Memories of the night before flip through my mind. Elston’s eyes narrow before he groans, adding an ew with an eye roll. He gets the joke. He’s seen We’re the Millers.
“I like hot dogs,” Liam says and Hank chuckles.
“I don’t know what we’re having yet, but time for school young men.” Hank’s taken to calling my boys this and Liam loves it. Elston likes to pretend he doesn’t, but I think he secretly does. The boys shuffle out the door with wishes for a good school year.
“What time is the call again?” Hank asks.
“Ten.”
He glances at the clock on the stove. He goes to Restored Dreams around nine. It’s only seven. Suddenly, he looks over at me. I recognize the expression in those silvery eyes.
“How you feeling about the call?”
“Good,” I lie. I’m nervous, but it’s a good nervous—exciting even. He rounds the island slowly and my stomach flutters. I like how he looks at me, like he could devour me. He had his way with me last night, but I seem to be ready to be his again. He reaches out to brush my hair behind my ear.
“You got this.” He’s been saying this for weeks. I have to admit, he’s a confidence booster. My eyes drift to the array of items littering the island for lunchmaking. He let me sleep in. I’ve been extra tired lately.
“You’re kind of good to me,” I tease, slipping my arms around his waist.
“You’re good for me,” he retorts before his mouth finds mine. I love his kisses, long and languid, and within moments, he’s passed the seam of my lips for tongue. Without missing a beat, I’m lifted to the counter and hear the clank of jars and crinkle of a bread package shoved aside to make way for me. I’m all for making love on this counter but there’s something I need to tell him, and today seems like the perfect day.
I pull back slowly, lingering on his mouth before he travels to my jaw.
“Hank, honey,” I begin, telling myself not to get lost in his lips on my skin. “I need to tell you something.”
“Sure, little lady.” His mouth continues a trail to my chest and my robe is drawn aside to reveal swollen globes longing for his attention. He mutters against my breast. “I love your tits.”
“They love you,” I giggle, but gently wrap my hands on the sides of his head and force him to look up at me. “Hank, I have to be serious a second.”
With this his head shoots up. Sitting on the counter, I’m more equal with his height and his eyes level with mine.
“Talk to me.” I love the intensity in his tone. He wants to listen to me although I’m hoping what I say isn’t really an issue of concern.
“Remember how I said I wanted to be somebody’s someone?”
Hank’s head twists and his eyes narrow. The silver dulls to gray. “Yeah.”
I cup his cheeks to comfort the concern I see in those eyes.
“How would you feel about being somebody important to someone else?”
Hank gasps. His brows shooting up to his hairline. “I don’t want to be with anybody else.”
I chuckle though his fear is not funny. “No, honey. I mean a different kind of someone. Maybe a little someone.” I’m willing him to understand although I can see he doesn’t. “Maybe a little girl someone.”
His forehead furrows. A deep crease forming between his brows.
“A little girl someone?” He continues to question me with troubled eyes.
“Say, arriving next winter, around Valentine’s Day maybe.” I’m suddenly holding my breath as he appears so puzzled. Then he tilts his head.
“What are you saying, little lady?” He swallows. His eyes closing as he exhales. I can almost feel the hope coming off of him.
“I’m saying there’s the possibility of another little lady loving you, Hank. As her daddy.” His eyes jump to my belly and he rips open the remainder of my robe. The swollen breasts he’s enjoyed and the bulge of my stomach he’s ignored finally make sense to me. I took a pregnancy test a few days ago. I thought it was just the pill messing with my body. I hadn’t been on it for over twenty years. Instead, it turns out…
“I’m pregnant, Hank.”
I’ve only seen this solid man crumble one other time—when he was given a room in Lawson’s home. Now, he falls to his knees, his mouth seeking my belly before arms wrap around my lower body. His face buries in my stomach and his shoulders tremble.
“Hank?” He simply shakes his head against my lower abdomen, refusing to speak to me. He tugs me tighter to his cheek but then quickly releases me.
“Am I hurting her?” He stares at my skin below my belly button.
“No, sweetheart.” My hands return to his face and he peers up at me. “I can’t guarantee a girl, but just maybe.” I bite my lip.
“You’re okay, right?” I know what he means. We’ve discussed how I thought I was too old for a baby, but apparently my body disagrees. “How did this happen?”
I chuckle as we both know the logistics, but also, I’ve been on the pill a few months. “Sometimes these things just do.” I’m thinking it was Mother’s Day weekend in Lawson’s room. A day of another new beginning, giving Hank all that he ever wanted…inside me.
“Just when I couldn’t think of more to make me happy…” He kisses my stomach and then slowly stands. His hands come to my cheeks. “You make me more happy than I ever thought I’d be.”
“I more you,” I whisper.
“Thank you,” he says followed by kisses to my eyes, my cheeks and finally my lips. “Thank you for loving me and more.”