“Why can’t I get this chord change? What’s wrong with me?” I asked.
“Hang on,” Cole replied, jumping up. “I gotta get my list.”
I laughed as he ran out of the room. We’d been on tour with Many Maus for about two weeks and were currently staying in an adorable bed-and-breakfast in the heart of Amsterdam. It was a beautiful city, with old buildings lining waterways and cobblestone sidewalks. Sunlight beamed in through the open wooden shutters, lighting up the entire third floor.
Parker walked past my room while reading his phone. “Did you guys see this review? The actual music critic liked us, but the commenters are vicious.”
“Don’t let the trolls win,” I called after him. It was something else I’d figured out recently. I’d been so reluctant at every step of my relationship with Ryan because of my parents and my fears of what I felt for him both physically and emotionally. But those internet voices? The ones who disparaged me and said we’d never work, the same ones I’d claimed I didn’t care about and didn’t listen to? I did care, and I did listen. I let total strangers make me doubt myself and doubt Ryan.
Never again.
“Hey, Cole?” I heard Fitz call from another room. “Remember we have that thing right now. You coming?”
Thing? My brothers hadn’t mentioned any plans.
“Yeah,” Cole replied. “Give me a second and I’ll meet you downstairs.”
Before I could ask where they were going, Fitz and Parker left. Cole stuck his head in my room and said, “The only thing wrong with you is that you gave up on love too quickly.”
Easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one who’d texted Ryan and never heard back from him again.
“And, uh, stay here. Don’t go anywhere.”
Before I could ask Cole why he’d said that, he was already gone. Weirdo.
I tried to make the quick change again on my Fender but finally gave up and set it down on the bed. I wondered where Ryan was now. He had been at a fund-raiser in LA last night. I’d continued doing my best Luna-tic impersonation and spent most of my free time stalking him online. Still wondering why he didn’t respond to my texts.
Maybe he was dating CeCe again, and he would be a happy little family with Thomas. That image made me feel queasy.
But I also knew I could have loved Thomas. Just like my mom took Cole in, I would have adored Thomas because he was Ryan’s son.
I wished I could tell him that.
Given that I had the place to myself, I decided to take a nap. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes.
I heard music coming from outside. That wasn’t all that strange; there were often performance artists on the sidewalks, busking.
The strange thing was that I recognized the tune.
And the voice.
My pulse hammered as I ran over to the open window and looked outside.
Ryan was there. Singing the same song to me that my mother had when I was a little girl.
He was Lloyd Dobler-ing me.
There is a flower within my heart
Maisy, Maisy
Planted one day by a glancing dart
Planted by Maisy Ell
Whether she loves me or loves me not
Sometimes it’s hard to tell
Yet I am longing to share the lot
Of beautiful Maisy Ell
Maisy, Maisy, give me your answer do
I’m half-crazy all for the love of you
It won’t be a stylish marriage
I can’t afford a carriage
But you’ll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two.
He sang the song while leaning against an actual tandem bicycle that was locked up to the fence.
The man I loved was serenading me. I wanted to fall at his feet and beg for his forgiveness. I wasn’t worthy of his song.
I couldn’t believe he was here. Singing to me. The crowd of people who had gathered around him applauded when he finished, and some of them even tried to give him some cash. I wanted to laugh as he politely refused.
“What are you doing?” I yelled down at him. My heart was in my throat, making me feel like I was going to choke. This had to be good, right? Had he finally found a way to forgive me?
“Can I come up?”
That was probably a smart move, considering how many people had stopped to take his picture or film him.
Not to mention I wanted him to come upstairs more than I wanted my next breath or my next heartbeat. “Yes! Take the stairs up to the top floor!”
My hair was in a bun, my face scrubbed clean. I so wished I was wearing something besides yoga pants and a tank top.
He knocked on the door and on my heart at the same time. I opened both to him and whatever he had to say.
“Hi.” Just hearing his voice again was enough to make me swoon.
“Hi. Come in.” I let him into our small sitting room. Like my brothers, he had to duck from the roof eaves on this level. I sat down on the tiny love seat, and Ryan sat across from me in a 1960s-style orange armchair, setting his guitar on the floor.
I greedily drank in the sight of him. He looked a little thinner, tired. Stubble lined his face; his hair was tousled. But he was still the most beautiful man I’d ever laid eyes on.
Then it occurred to me how truly impossible it was for him to be here at this moment. “You were in Los Angeles last night.”
“I was.”
“Then how are you here now?”
He rubbed his jaw. “After the fund-raiser, I got on a red-eye to come here and see you.”
It was a fifteen-hour flight. A pang of love and disbelief hit me hard, and I put a hand on my chest. “You got on a plane for me?”
“I did. Some noise-canceling headphones, a sleeping mask, and heavy sedatives were involved.”
He was too good. Too amazing. I didn’t deserve any of this. I started to cry. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.”
In seconds he was on his feet, pulling me up from the love seat. He held me tight, and his embrace felt every bit as good, as right, as I remembered. He rubbed my back, laying his head on top of mine, soothing me.
“I was such an idiot,” I said in between sobs. “I completely overreacted and ruined everything. I’ll never forgive myself.”
“You have to forgive yourself because I already did. A long time ago.”
I pulled back. His face looked blurry through my tears. “Then why didn’t you answer my texts?”
“I didn’t find out about those until Angie told me at my release party. After you left in New York, I sort of threw my phone against the sidewalk and left it. When I went back to get it, it was gone. So I had to get a new phone, and my security team made me get a new number. Just in case. I never got your texts.”
Blinking hard, I tried to process what he was saying. “But your release party was two weeks ago.”
He ran one hand through his hair. “This was the first opening in my schedule, and I wanted to come say what I needed to say to you in person. It wasn’t textable. I have to tell you about Thomas.”
Nothing else in the world mattered as long as he was here, holding me. “I will love Thomas. He’s a part of you.”
“Not in the way you think. Thomas isn’t my son. He’s my brother.”
Not his son? His brother? Immediately I got squicked out and wondered what was wrong with CeCe. “You mean your dad and CeCe? That’s . . . totally disgusting.”
“When she found out that my dad didn’t have any money, she came up with a plan to say Thomas was mine so I would pay child support. I think she was hoping the resemblance was strong enough that I wouldn’t question her. But I had a paternity test done.”
The resemblance had been enough that I hadn’t questioned her and put all the blame on Ryan.
For something he hadn’t even been guilty of.
“I’m so sorry,” I told him again. It felt like I couldn’t say it enough. “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I should have stayed and worked things out with you, just like you asked me to. I promise I won’t ever run from you like that again.”
Ryan squeezed me tightly against him, making it impossible to breathe. I didn’t care. “There’s nothing to forgive. I love you.”
“I love you. I never stopped.”
He smelled the same. Felt the same. This was where I belonged. With him. He really was my home.
“I fired my dad.”
I lifted my head. “You did?”
“I’m going to help take care of my baby brother, but I’m tired of bailing out my dad. It’s not my responsibility to pay for his life so he can do nothing but make bad choices. He had a job before I became famous. He can get another one. I hired Dean Bruno to be my manager. He thinks the first single for my next album should be ‘Maisy.’” Dean Bruno was one of the top managers in the music industry.
Who was already employed, last I’d heard. “But wasn’t he working for . . .”
“Yes. I lured him away from Skyler Smith.”
My heart was back in my throat again. “Wouldn’t that upset your girlfriend?” Even though he’d just said he loved me, I needed to clarify where things stood.
His hand rested against the back of my neck, cradling my head. “Skyler and I didn’t date. That was all publicity. You’re the only one for me.”
“You know that makes me love you more, right?” I asked, wanting to collapse into a puddle of relief.
He kissed my forehead, and it felt like all was right in the world again. “I got you a present.” Ryan reached into his back pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He handed it to me.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“It’s the deed to your house. I bought it from the people who bought it from you. I know how much it meant to you. I wanted your mom to have a place to come home to, in case she gets better.”
“Are you serious with this right now?” Ryan De Luna was too good to be true.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart.”
“How can I not cry? You’re amazing, and I suck.”
“You’re amazing, too. I wouldn’t love a sucky person.”
That made me laugh, and Ryan tenderly wiped away my tears.
“I sold my house in Gstaad to buy yours. That couple you sold to were quite the negotiators.”
He sold one of his many houses for me? “Aw. That is so . . . stupid that you had a house in a place with a name like Gstaad.”
Now it was Ryan’s turn to laugh.
“But seriously? Thank you. This means everything to me.”
“You’re welcome. And I have another present for you.” Had I imagined it, or had his voice just wobbled?
He let go of me and this time reached into his front pocket.
He pulled out a tiny box that could hold only one possible thing.
I covered my mouth with my hands. “I don’t understand what’s happening right now.”
Ryan got down on one knee, opening the box. “Didn’t you ever listen to the lyrics of ‘Daisy’ before? It’s a proposal song. I’m proposing to you. Be my wife, Maisy. I love you, and I don’t want to live without you. These last few months have been among the worst of my entire life. I don’t want another day to go by without you in it.”
My mouth just hung open. I was unable to take in the enormity of what was going on. I didn’t know anything about diamonds, but it was huge, glittery, and gorgeous.
“This isn’t a fake engagement, is it?”
He grinned. “Not fake. It was never fake for me, Maisy. With you it was always real.”
Would I ever stop crying today?
“Also,” Ryan added, “I can absolutely afford a carriage. A stylish marriage, if that’s what you want.”
“I can’t believe you’re proposing to me while I look like this.”
“I think you look hot. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.”
Okay, that was not true, considering the crowd he ran with, but I figured being in love might have skewed his perception. Which worked for me.
“That diamond is so big,” I said as Ryan took it out and put it on my finger. “Maybe too big.”
“Said no woman ever,” he teased. “I actually considered some larger diamonds, but I didn’t want it to weigh down your hand while you’re playing. Because I want you to keep pursuing your dreams and your music. I don’t want marriage to mean an end to either your or my goals. We’ll figure out a way to make it all work. But I also want the whole world to know that you’re mine. So I got something reasonable.”
I held my hand aloft, letting the diamond sparkle in the sunlight. It was light. I wouldn’t have any troubles playing. But reasonable? “It’s not reasonable. As I once said, I’m not selfish enough to deny you the pleasure of giving it to me.”
Voices came up to the window from the sidewalk. They were calling our names. We walked over to see my three brothers standing there, smiling up at me. Those jerks had known what Ryan had planned and been in on it.
I had never loved them more.
“Are you done?”
“Did she say yes?”
“Are you our new brother?”
Ryan turned to me, resting his hands on my hips. “I know Rule #1 is to never date a musician. But what about marrying one?”
I put my arms around his neck and grinned. “You already know the answer.”