INTERLUDE: 2009
Captain Lillian Accardo climbed down from her Black Hawk helicopter, call sign Big Donna. Her squad was waiting for her—fist bumps, high fives, and hugs all around. Another mission completed; objective secured, all troops back at base. Aside from a black eye Okada got when he came up too quickly behind Miller, no casualties at all.
Chief Pettijohn came toward her, heading to her ride to do the post-mission check. “All well, Cap?” he asked as he approached.
Lilli stopped and turned back to consider her ride. “She’s still got that little shimmy in the swash.”
“That’s because she’s such a sexy beast,” he winked and moved on past, toward the copter.
Lilli liked Chief. He was old-school Army, iron-grey crew cut and stub cigar included, but even so, he didn’t have trouble with a chick pilot. More did than didn’t, but she was making her way. It had taken her almost a year to get her own squad fully on board, but she had them now. She was fairly certain most of them had forgotten she had tits, or had just stopped caring. She took pains not to make them especially obvious—not because she feared the men would make inappropriate contact, which she could handle, but because she liked that the only difference they now saw in her was the insignia on her uniform. She wasn’t a piece of ass; she was their superior. She had their respect.
“Hey Cap, we’re in for cards. You in?” That was Okada. Lilli smiled but shook her head. “Tempting, but I’ll pass tonight.” This close to the front, fraternization rules were looser; camaraderie, trust, and morale were paramount. So she could certainly go hang with the enlisted men of her squad if she wanted. But tonight, she wanted some quiet. She nodded to Mendez, her co-pilot, indicating that she had the debrief, and he was off the clock.
She reported in to Col. Corbett, the battalion Commanding Officer. Corbett had been one she’d had to work to win over. But after scores of successful missions and few casualties—and no troop losses—and after comporting herself solidly in her supervisory position, and proving physically capable, as well—even equal to, if not more capable than, many men in camp—ol’ Corby had warmed up to her.
It didn’t hurt that she was on her third straight long rotation in camp; with nothing and no one in the States to draw her interest, and loving her job like a calling, she was perfectly content to stay put where she was useful and needed. When she’d requested a third rotation, sitting across from Corby at his insufficient camp desk, he’d contemplated her closely for a long, uncomfortable time, his eyebrows raised. Then, he’d nodded. Since that day, he’d been in her pocket. She was going for a below-zone promotion to Major in a few months; she was fairly certain Corby would do what he could to see that she got it.
She’d earned it. She worked hard, she led well, she was smart, and she didn’t back down. But below-zone promotions were rare. She knew her shot was better because she was a female in combat, and there would be good press if she got another early promotion. She wasn’t averse to accepting an advantage. Her sex worked against her 99.99% of the time in her chosen career. If there was a chance for that scale to tip slightly in the other direction, she’d take it.
When she was done with her debrief with Corby, she came out of the command tent and ran headlong into Captain Ray Hobson. He shoved her off and sneered at her. Hobson had a massive pole up his ass over Lilli. He hated women in camp, he hated women in command, and he damn sure hated a woman several years his junior, in the same rank and doing the same job as he. He hated her with a bitter fire she’d at first found bewildering. Now she hated him right back with an even hotter fire. He was a misogynistic asshole who found every opportunity to try to make her feel small and threatened. Time was, he’d succeeded. Now, Lilli was just waiting for him to touch her. Just once, so she could put the bastard on the ground.
“Sucking up again, Hot Lips? You were in there awhile. Musta been sucking something. I’m up for nexts.” He grabbed his crotch.
Lilli’s gorge rose at her inability to take him down for that. But she couldn’t go at him physically, not first. And she wouldn’t report him. With one piece of paper, she’d undo all her hard work. No matter how unjust it was, reporting harassment would lose her the respect of just about everyone in camp. Hell, just about everyone in the Army. She would not give this amoeba the satisfaction.
Instead, she sneered right back at him and said, “That’s comedy gold, Hobs. You must’ve kept the boys in the frat house howling. One way or another.”
His voice low, he hissed, “You’re nothin’ but a cunt, Accardo. Never be more than that.”
She brushed past him and crossed the dusty camp to the mess. She needed to get out of her flight suit, which was blazing hot in the 120F heat, but she was starving. And frankly, right at that moment, she wasn’t feeling like stripping down to take a shower. Privacy was at a premium on a Forward Operating Base, and she felt exposed. It burned her that Hobson could still do that to her, but he could. So she went into the mess, got herself a tasteless chicken sandwich, some chips, and a soda, and sat alone, sweltering and fuming.
She was about halfway through her meal, such as it was, when Lopez, her crew chief, sat down across from her. She looked up, chewing.
“Permission to speak plainly, Cap?”
Lilli nodded.
He leaned in close. “There’s some guys around here, their dicks shrink right up around a woman like you. Some, they just about turn inside out. Gives ‘em a second asshole where their dick should be.”
Well, that was colorful. And he must have seen her confrontation with Hobson, which sucked. Bad enough she had to deal with it; she didn’t relish anyone knowing about it. “Your point?”
“Just don’t let the assholes get you down, Cap. We got your back. You should come play cards. Sitting here alone is just… sad. Miller’s wifey sent everybody a personal fan, so it’s only, like, a hundred in our hut.” He lowered his voice even more. “There’s local beer, too. Okada scraped it up.”
“You know I can’t drink with you, Sarge.” Alcohol was supposed to be banned on base, but Corby didn’t enforce that rule, as long as the troops maintained some control over themselves. These troops saw a lot of action, and he reasoned they needed some ease. Grateful for the privilege, few got drunk. Still, Lilli didn’t want to end up in a bad position. It was entirely possible that she could get called upon to fly unexpectedly, and she wouldn’t risk her men. Plus, she was in charge. Wouldn’t do to get loose and flirty around these guys. She’d worked hard to get them to see her otherwise.
“I know. But we’ll be extra entertaining tonight. C’mon. What else are you gonna do?”
With a sigh and a smile she said, “Gimme 15 for a shower and a change.”
“Excellent! Bring lots of cash for us to take from you!” He put up his fist, and she bumped it.
“Dream on, Lopez. I’ll try to leave you milk money when I’m done.”
After her shower, wearing desert fatigue pants and a loose t-shirt, her hair braided and coiled again on the back of her head, Lilli joined the poker game. As soon as she came into the hut, the guys made way for her. They dealt her in on the next hand. Several guys had bottles of beer, a kind Lilli didn’t recognize. Others had what would look to a layperson like bottles of regular Listerine. Except the mouthwash had been replaced with whiskey, scotch, or gold tequila and sent over in care packages from home. Contraband, but everybody looked the other way.
Okada waved a brown bottle in her direction and said, “Wanna brewski, Cap? It’s warm and tastes like cat piss, but it gets the job done.”
Seriously. He said brewski. He talked like that all the time, like he was an extra in Animal House or something. Lilli thought it was charmingly dorky. “As delightful as that sounds, Okada, I’m gonna let you boys enjoy that on your own.”
Lopez tossed her a bottled water, and they got back to the game, which was competitive as hell but not serious at all. The guys trash talked and made sophomoric jokes. They also gossiped like they were at a quilting bee. Always remembering her role, Lilli still found a way to be in the mix with the rest of them.
This is what Lilli loved. She loved flying, she loved the adrenaline, the challenge of her job. She loved being good at it. Her job fulfilled her. But this, these guys, this bond—she didn’t need any family but this. She would die for any one of them; she’d do it without a second thought.