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My Big Fat Alien Wedding (Alienn, Arkansas Book 3) by Fiona Roarke (17)


Chapter Seventeen

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Two days before the wedding


Lucy dressed carefully for dinner. The rehearsal dinner was to be held at the upscale basement restaurant, Superior Galactic Gastronomy. As the name implied, snotty wait staff would be serving minimal portions of creative Earther and Alpha-Prime delicacies to the wedding party in several courses as the families did their best to get along until the nuptials were complete.

She applied perhaps a bit more makeup than usual, wanting to look especially nice. Time was running out on her chances to see Axel and spend time with him.

Since there was only one maid of honor, Lucy, and one groomsman, Cam—as Lucy predicted, her parents only unbent enough to allow a single attendant for each the bride and groom—the lone sibling invited from Axel’s side of the family was Valene because she was helping with the Earther wedding preparations.

Valene explained to the Duvall parents that the groom’s folks typically footed the bill for the rehearsal dinner. Lucy’s parents selected the single most expensive restaurant in the basement area, even though Lucy didn’t think that was what Valene meant. But Axel’s sister took that information in stride, making it part of the guided chaos that was this Earther wedding experience. She also explained who attended and who didn’t. Earther wedding traditions apparently only went so far where her parents were concerned and they refused to ask their other three daughters to remain in their quarters while the rest of the family partied and ate exotic food.

Although both families had adult children standing in the front row during the ceremony, the Duvalls did not feel the same way about Axel’s siblings, there were so many of them. Maybe some of his brothers could just stay home. Valene smiled through it all and was very accommodating.

Lucy didn’t care about all that. Part of her wanted to go because Axel would be there and it was one more chance to see her good “friend” before heading back to Alpha-Prime. When he and Francine set up house on Alpha-Prime, Lucy expected she would only see them at annual family gatherings, weddings, births or the inevitable death ceremonies. That would be enough.

While she didn’t get to marry Axel, Lucy enjoyed hanging out with him. He was funny. He understood her. He wasn’t judgy—a term she’d learned from Valene—about anything. Axel thought she was beautiful when the only other person in her family who’d told her that was Francine.

Perhaps they could meet occasionally to discuss the latest Dirk Crusher book. They’d have to arrange a long-distance shipment from Earth to feed their passionate reader fancy.

Axel expected to remain on Earth after his marriage to Francine. He’d mentioned it when they visited Cam’s beautiful lake house. He’d pointed out the property he wanted to purchase nearby. Those plans would certainly change tonight. Her parents would never let Francine reside on Earth. They had plans. They always got their way.

The evening might be inspired by Earther traditions, but she knew traditional pre-wedding get-togethers, especially ones that involved arranged marriages, were often rife with arguments concerning what trades would be offered to the families on each side for the betterment of their family coffers. Rich Alpha families alternated between showing off what amazing thing they were doing for the married couple and trying to get as much from the other family as possible before the wedding ceremony was complete.

She’d attended a wedding where both fathers stood in the front row yelling and arguing across the aisle over the minutia of the trades until bride and groom spoke their vows. Each father claimed the other family had gotten away with far too much.

Lucy’s family was not so petty as to argue little things, but they would definitely argue for Francine and Axel to live on Alpha-Prime.

Her father had secured five very desirable properties for his daughters. As the first to wed, Francine and Axel would get first choice. Hence Ardelia’s outrage at not being the first to wed, although she was the eldest.

Lucy wondered if her parents had compromised to soothe Ardelia’s anger. Perhaps Francine and Axel would get their choice of four properties on Alpha-Prime because Ardelia would have already chosen the best for herself. Lucy looked forward to more than one “discussion” once her father pulled out the old-fashioned green property ledger holding whatever properties would be offered for their selection.

First discussion, why only four selections instead of five? Second discussion, which of the four remaining places will be chosen? A third possible discussion, or rather loud argument, would likely ensue if Axel stood his ground and told her parents and the assembled crowd that Francine was going to live on Earth in a cabin on a lake near his brother once they were married. What if he didn’t want to make any selection from the old-fashioned green property ledger?

Whatever happened, Lucy expected lots of fireworks—another word she’d learned from Valene, who explained it was basically loud booming explosions with various colors of spewing choreographed lights launching into the sky.

She had offered it up as a possibility once Francine and Axel walked down the aisle as husband and wife. Valene explained they could set a timer on a romantic firework display to explode overhead as the newlyweds walked hand in hand down the aisle and into their future life together.

Lucy suffered a vicious spasm in her heart during the explanation and left that particular decision solely to Valene.

There was a knock at her door and Francine popped her head in. “Are you ready to go to dinner? Mother and father are waiting.”

“Sorry, I was daydreaming about one of the details for your coming wedding.” Not a lie.

“Oh? What part?”

Lucy quickly fastened her earrings in place. “Sorry, I can’t tell you. I promised Valene it would be a surprise.” Also not a lie.

Francine grinned. “Valene is awesome. She’s worked really hard on this Earther wedding.”

“She has,” Lucy agreed.

“And that’s not to say you haven’t worked hard as my wedding director. I’m so glad I picked you.”

Lucy gave her a knowing look. “Because Ardelia would have been a pain in the patootie.”

Francine laughed. “Where did you hear that? And what is a patootie?”

“A patootie is a backside.” Lucy pointed to hers. “And I learned it from Axel and Valene’s aunt Dixie. She’s something else. Quite a character.”

Her sister nodded. “Valene has mentioned her more than a few times. She sounds a bit like Grandma Matilda. She was always so much fun.”

Lucy nodded. “Yes. She was.”

They joined the rest of their family at the entryway to their temporary quarters. Even though the restaurant wasn’t far away, her parents had arranged for transportation in the form of something called a golf cart.

Golf, Valene had instructed, was an Earther sport involving whacking little white balls into holes in the ground from a distance and the golf carts were used to convey the golfers from one faraway hole to the next. If Lucy played golf, she’d run through the grass barefoot from one hole to the other and leave the golf cart behind.

The ride to the restaurant didn’t take long. Before she knew it, her family was seated across from the groom’s family in a quiet room at the back of the restaurant closed off from the other patrons.

Zebulon Grey, seated at the head of the table with Xenia Grey and Lucy’s parents, ordered several bottles of champagne. Once they each had a slender glass of the bubbly drink, he toasted the nuptials and the happy couple.

Seven Duvall family members sat on one side of the table. Across from them, the Grey contingent included Axel, Valene, Cam and his wife Ria and Aunt Dixie. Aunt Dixie was seated at the parents’ end of the table next to Axel’s mother, who seemed amused by her presence.

Lucy sat next to Francine and across from Valene and Axel.

After the delicious meal had been eaten and the dessert dishes cleared away, Lucy’s father produced the green property ledger and placed it on the table.

“My girls know what this book is, but let me explain to the groom’s family.”

Lucy had already had about four glasses of champagne. She signaled for the server stationed in the room to pour her a fifth. He filled her glass to the very top, emptying the bottle. There weren’t enough bubbly drinks on this planet to deaden her senses completely, but she was as close as she was ever going to get.

“This green volume is my property ledger,” her father explained, as Lucy steadily drank her champagne glass empty. Both Valene and Axel gave her quizzical looks.

“I’ve selected five suitable residences for the happy couple to choose from for their first home.”

“Father! No!” Ardelia half stood from her chair. “You promised me—”

“I’m well aware of what I promised, Ardelia. Sit down.” He gave his eldest daughter a rare disapproving stare.

Lucy forced herself to look at Axel’s parents and not at him. She didn’t want to see unexpected greed for the financial boon the green ledger choice represented. Or worse, despair lodged in his eyes when he discovered where her parents expected them to live. Would he want to live in a rich property on Alpha-Prime if it was offered for free?

“Where are these properties located?” the elder Mr. Grey asked in a civil tone, although his expression didn’t look particularly happy.

Her father, who obviously misread the mood of the groom’s family completely, said with a lighthearted laugh, “Oh, no need to worry. All of these properties are located beneath the very finest spheres on Alpha-Prime. Nothing but the best for my girls.”

“That’s very generous of you, sir. However, we’ll be staying here on Earth,” Axel said clearly and succinctly.

The room went as quiet as the silence of outer space. Axel picked up his half-full champagne glass and took a deep drink, emptying it in one swallow. She guessed he understood exactly how her father would react.

Francine looked surprised, but then a tranquil expression covered her face. Their father was not at all calm. He stood, clutching the green property ledger in one hand and raised a fist. “Earth!” The word came from her father’s lips dripping with disdain. “You expect me to leave my precious daughter on Earth?

“No daughter of mine will live on a backwater colony planet. No place on this unacceptable planet will ever be as grand as the lowliest trash heap abode in the Outer Basin. I have spent a considerable number of credits on the best place for Francine and her sisters to live on Alpha-Prime.”

Lucy’s mother spoke up next. “I must agree. The accommodations on Earth are…well, to be quite honest…dreadful. They are small, inexpensively furnished and completely inadequate for any member of a Designer family. Nothing on Earth will ever provide Francine the lifestyle she’s used to living. You must move to Alpha-Prime, it’s simply the only choice and that’s all there is to it.” She put a hand on her husband’s arm and he slowly retook his seat.

Axel didn’t stand to speak, but he straightened up in his chair. “I’m sorry to disagree, ma’am, but Alpha-Prime is not the only choice.” Lucy expected more anger from him. Instead, he was calm and collected when he added, “I plan to buy a nice piece of forested property including several acres of land near a vast lake. I’m certain we’ll have plenty of room for our purposes and Francine’s life will be just fine.”

Ardelia, red-faced, launched herself to her feet. “I demand first pick of the Alpha-Prime properties. I was supposed to get married first and I want the first selection from the places in the green ledger. It’s completely unfair that Francine and her horrible, unsuitable groom get to make the first selection when no one wanted this arranged marriage anyway.”

Aunt Dixie stood up, but she was so short it wasn’t very dramatic. “Axel is not a horrible or unsuitable groom, you snot-nosed, spoiled little brat. Why are you even here? This is supposed to be the rehearsal dinner for the wedding party and parents only. You are the one horning in. And another thing—”

“That will be enough, Aunt Dixie. Please sit down.” Axel’s father didn’t stand up, but his voice projected as if he had. Aunt Dixie, grumbling under her breath about the unfairness of life, took her chair. “I’m sorry you don’t care for our chosen home planet, Harrison and Adeline. We find it rather lovely and we’ve been happy here for several decades.

“However, the choice of living quarters, while typically on Alpha-Prime for most arranged marriages, is not absolute in the paperwork our two families signed.” He nodded once at his wife. “Xenia and I had already planned to make the Earth colony our permanent home and ensured that language was included in the paperwork when you generously asked us to combine our families in this endeavor. As you well know, the groom typically decides on the domain in any marriage on Alpha-Prime, arranged match or not. In the interest of fairness, if you would rather cancel the wedding arrangement because of this issue, now would be the time to do so.”

Axel’s eyes widened. Lucy perked up and took notice. All of what Mr. Grey said was true. The groom or his family was undisputedly always allowed to choose the permanent domain for the new couple on Alpha-Prime. Her father knew this and had selected five very expensive upscale domains to tempt his future sons-in-law to make their homes where he wanted instead of the likely lesser places each groom would provide.

Lucy’s father looked ashen. He closed his eyes and sat back in his chair, clutching the green ledger with white knuckles.

Francine, ever the peacemaker, said, “Father. I know you’re disappointed, but perhaps we can look at the different properties when we travel back to Alpha-Prime for our wedding there.” She tilted her head and gave Axel a smile. “Perhaps we could move this decision into the future. Perhaps Axel could be persuaded to live on Alpha-Prime at a later time, once he’s seen the wonderful properties that I know you’ve chosen for us.”

Their father cleared his throat, glanced at the green ledger and eased his tight grip. “May I show you the property choices? Perhaps you could look at them before making a final decision, Axel.”

Axel didn’t seem swayed to change his mind. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up. It’s unlikely I’ll change my mind. However, in the interest of considering all the information available, we can take a look at your green ledger. I’d also be willing to look at the properties on Alpha-Prime before purchasing any land here on Earth.”

Lucy’s father smiled in the way that said he expected Axel wouldn’t turn down any of the five places he’d chosen. Her father was used to greed being a useful device for his purposes.

He opened the green ledger to reveal the electronic device within. He pushed a few buttons and a hologram appeared above the table with the first property in a tri-dimensional representation, so no matter where anyone was seated around the table, the images could be seen.

The images spun above their heads so everyone could see all sides of each property as a digital voice explained the amenities of each choice.

The grandest was naturally the one Ardelia wanted. It was nearly as large as their parents’ home and in the same area as their expansive palace. Ardelia stared at the hologram with a sort of manic zeal and practically drooled.

If Lucy had her choice, she’d pick Cam and Ria’s home at the lake for her permanent place to live. For all the grandeur of these premium Alpha-Prime homes, they didn’t have any view of water or trees. Much of the landscape on Alpha-Prime included beautifully shaped rocks and brick-like pathways alongside patios designed in pleasing patterns.

The truly rich sometimes had a very expensive—small by Earth standards—water feature. There was either a miniature fountain or decorative bowl of water much like the birdbath she’d seen next to the porch at Cam and Ria’s cabin.

The tri-dimensional video blinked out.

“Well, what do you think, Axel?” Lucy’s father asked, sounding confident his future son-in-law would be awed and want one now that he had seen their opulence.

“That final property is very beautiful and certainly larger than all the other properties. I think I’d like to look at that property first once we get to Alpha-Prime.”

Ardelia jumped up, hands tightened into fists, and pounded both of them on the table in front of her, rattling the glasses and silverware. “No! I want that property! You cannot pick that one! In fact, I demand to have that property. You may not look at it because you will not be able to select it anyway. It’s mine!”

“Ardelia, sit down,” their parents said at the same time.

Lucy noticed the corner of Axel’s mouth turn up. He caught her eye and gave her a quiet grin. She realized he’d singled out the extravagant property for the sole purpose of riling Ardelia. A giggle bubbled up in her throat. She quickly covered it with a fake coughing spell.

No one seemed to notice as Ardelia continued to curse everyone and everything around her in order to sway all within earshot that she wanted what she wanted and she wouldn’t shut up until she got her way.

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