This is not how I planned on spending the break that Penny is home. I fully intended to use the time to cement our relationship and make her stop running from me. Or at the very least, figure out why she keeps running from me. But of course, nothing in this family can be easy.
As soon as she arrived in town, I was heading over to her house. Then, I got a phone call from Max saying Rosalind is in labor. As frustrating as the information is because it is derailing my plans with Penny, I am excited for them.
The baby boom we have going on is awesome. I love being an Uncle. It is so much fun playing with the little people, watching their little personalities bloom, and seeing my brothers catch hell. But, it also makes me yearn for my own with Penny and having her round and swollen with my seed. To have her take my name and make us the family I knew we would be from the moment I saw her.
Here I am sitting with my family and Penny, who is across the room, for the past four hours waiting to hear about Rosa and the baby or babies…. none of us know. I am pretty sure she has managed to keep it a secret from Max too, which is hilarious because he hates to be kept out of anything.
Ham comes over to me and watches me staring at Penny.
“You ever going to pop that cherry, little brother?”
“Really, Ham? Don’t talk about her like that?”
“Whoa Jace.” He says holding up his hands. “I meant yours, cool it. Ava would have my ass if I talked about her sister like that.”
For some reason, I cannot stop myself from pacing. Somehow, I feel this time will be different than all the rest. There is an eerie feeling inside me, as if something is going to go wrong. Don’t ask me why or how, but it’s a gut reaction I have. As I go to make sure Kennedy is alright, while Sterling is in the bathroom changing the baby’s diaper, out walks Max. Instantly I know by the forlorn look he has, that something has happened. My mom grabs him in an embrace; letting him know we are all here for him, before he opens up and gives us the news.
“It’s three babies. Two boys and one girl. Maxwell James Jr. 4lbs, Dale Michael III 4lbs 5oz and Selena Rose 4lbs 7oz. All healthy and beautiful…. f…….” And then, my brother breaks out in a full-on cry. My stomach jumps into my heart and suddenly, I cannot breathe. As everyone else stands there, not knowing what to do, because Max NEVER cries; I fall to my knees alongside him and put my arms around and hold him. I could care less how we look right now, this is my fucking brother and he needs me right now.
“Max, man what’s wrong? You said the babies were ok, right? So, what’s happened? Whatever it is, you know we are here for you. Tell us so we can help bro.”
“It’s Rosy. My Rosy lost too much blood during the cesarean and she flatlined on the table. They are working to bring her back and told me I couldn’t be in there. But Jace, I swear man, I cannot lose her. I mean, I know I am supposed to be strong and all that shit, but she is my fucking heart, without her it doesn’t beat. Do you get it? She is my fucking air Jace. I won’t be able to breath if she doesn’t. Babies. I cannot even think of the babies right now.”
Holy shit. Rosalind is in trouble. Everyone around me is now sobbing and I can feel a tear fall down my face. I love my brothers for real, but their wives and my mom are the heart of our family. They became my sisters the minute my brothers brought them home. To lose one of them, I don’t know how our family would survive. I look to him to tell him she will be OK, but he grabs me by the shirt and blows my fucking mind.
“Jace, if something happens to Rosy, I will no longer be able to walk this earth. One day when you fall in love with your soulmate you will understand. But, I need you to promise me if it does happen, you will take care of my babies. The others have their lives, kids, and shit. I need to know my babies will be first for someone. Can you promise me this Jace?”
What. The. Fuck. Seriously, what else can I say? What do you say to your brother, who is seeing his whole life crumbling in front of his eyes?
“Of course, Max. I will take care of your babies.”
It has been a long fucking night and even though we have been here a full 12 hours, we still don’t know the progress on Rosalind; other than she is in a coma and only time will tell. Of course, Max is not going to leave, and the babies need to stay for at least a week to get their weight up.
I stumble into the parking lot of the hospital and try to get into my car, before I lose it. Banging my hands on the top of the roof of the car, I shout as loud as I can, while tears are running down my face. Automatically I start cursing God and asking him how he could do this to our family. I do not even realize I have fallen to the ground in full blown cry, until an Angel is there and holding me in her arms.
“Shhhh …. It’s ok Jace. I am so sorry. Everything will be ok. Come on babe. Let me get you home. You’re in no shape to drive.” She says to me.
Vaguely realizing what is happening, I look to her and say exactly what is in my heart, “Penny. My sweet girl. Don’t leave me. I do not want to be alone tonight.” I plead with everything I have inside of me.
“I won’t Jace. I promise. I won’t leave you.” She says.
I do not have it in me to decide if she is talking about ever or just right now. But, I am going to take what I can get right now; because I am running the risk of becoming numb and I don’t want that to happen. Not, when my brother needs me more than ever. We make it to my place and go inside. Suddenly, I don’t know what to do. Lucky for me, Penny is here.
“Jace, why don’t we get you undressed and in bed? You have had a long emotional day. I will fix you a drink and then you should try to sleep.” She says to try and convince me.
All I can think about is life is too short and we must take each moment as it comes. With that thought in my head, I halt her movement and grab her face. Looking into her eyes, I rub my thumbs over cheeks and finally tell her everything in my heart.
“I love you Penny and I want to spend my life with you. Stop running from me, before we waste too much time.” I plead with her.
She shocks the hell out of me, when she says, “You’re right Jace. Make love to me.”
Fuck. It’s about damn time.