Chapter Thirty

AJ

Why am I so nervous? When Dylan opens the door the rest of the way and nods for me to follow him, I’m suddenly terrified to step out of the room. After everything I just heard, I want to run into the room and throw my arms around him, vowing to never distrust him again. Never to walk away. Promise to always stay and fight.

Now I understand what my Grandma meant.

Sometimes, a cheater is a cheater.

But sometimes, a cheater is a man with ocean blue eyes and a sexy swagger who leaves my body humming and yearning for just one more touch. Sometimes, a cheater isn’t a cheater at all.

Sometimes, he’s your forever.

My legs are shaky as I step into the living room. The sun has set and the room is bathed in soft overhead lighting from the vaulted ceiling. It does nothing to camouflage the anguish on Sawyer’s face as he turns from the doorway he was about to exit to face Maddox.

Then his eyes connect with mine.

And it all fades away.

Everything.

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. What would I say anyway? I’m sorry seems trivial in the grand scheme of things. His eyes transform right before my own into relief, into elation. He’s moving before I can even think about heading in his direction. Within seconds, he sweeps me into his arms, his nose buried deep in my neck. My own arms pull tightly on his shoulders and my legs wrap around his waist, as I hang on for dear life. His embrace steals my air, but I don’t complain. Not one bit.

“You’re here,” he states into my neck, his warm breath tickling and calming me at the same time.

“Yeah,” I choke on my emotions.

“Did you hear?” he asks, pulling back a little so we’re face-to-face.

“Yeah.”

Once more, relief washes over his handsome features. “I never want to hurt you, baby. Never ever again,” he vows.

Nodding, I give him a gentle smile. “I know. I’m sorry I doubted you.”

Shaking his head, he adamantly replies, “No, you don’t need to apologize. I know what it looked like, and the fact that I couldn’t remember anything that happened,” he shakes his head again. “I don’t blame you for not trusting me. Hell, when all of the chips were stacked up against me, I didn’t really trust myself either.”

I take my hands and place them on his cheeks, reveling in the feel of the several days’ old stubble on his strong jaw. He’s breathing hard, his eyes bouncing around my face, as if drinking every piece of me in.

And then they land on my lips. They’re slightly ajar, my own breathing a little shallow. Instinctively, I lick them and watch him watch me. I can also feel a little something stirring to life between my legs, just below his belt. Okay, so it’s not little, but it’s definitely something.

It’s like slow motion as his mouth gradually moves toward mine. Right before our lips connect, his eyes meet mine. It’s a look of happiness, of contentment, of love.

And then his lips graze softly across my own. He holds it together just long enough for a taste, one we both long to savor, but then lust takes hold. Sawyer urges my mouth open with his lips and tongue, and devours. He feasts like a man starved. A man possessed. The kiss is bruising and fierce, but does nothing to quench the insatiable burn I feel for him. In fact, it does the exact opposite.

“Wow, this is getting uncomfortable, real quick,” Dylan says after clearing his throat.

“Shit,” Sawyer mumbles as he pulls his lips from my own. He turns to face his brother and cousin, his hands still firmly gripping my ass and me still attached to his front like a spider monkey.

I practically jump off him like I was burned, but Sawyer isn’t interested in letting me go, which means I basically stumble backward as I try to right my askew sweatshirt and turn to face the others in the room.

And holy hell.

Sawyer’s cousin is…yowzers! We rode to the house together, but he was in the back seat, so unfortunately, I didn’t get too good of a look. But now that I can see him in the light, he’s tall, dark, and handsome. Just like his cousin.

“AJ, this is my cousin, Maddox Jackson. He’s a cop in Missouri.”

“We met in the car, but it’s nice to officially finally meet you,” Maddox says, stepping forward and extending his hand. His smile is warm, but those eyes. They’re like chocolate diamonds, all intense and sexy-like. Grandma would like him. A lot.

“Nice to meet you,” I reply, feeling my cheeks burn with a flush.

“Maddox and his family are in the area on vacation,” Dylan adds. “We were all supposed to get together this weekend here at Sawyer’s house, but when he told me how big of an idiot he was, I thought it might not hurt to get our older cousin involved.”

Maddox shrugs. “Glad I could help.”

“Oh, you definitely did. I’m pretty sure we won’t be seeing Carrie any time soon,” Sawyer says, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his chest.

“Good.”

Just then, Maddox’s phone chimes. When he glances at the screen, a wide smile spreads across his gorgeous face. “That’s Avery. Apparently Dax is a little wound for sound, and isn’t having any of the bedtime thing.”

“How are all the kids?” Sawyer asks as we slowly follow them to the garage door.

Again, he smiles widely. “Awesome. Ryder started baseball this past summer. The kid’s a natural, like you. Ellie keeps us busy with dance class, and Dax just keeps us busy. That kid is into anything and everything. And Bean is going to cause me to have a heart attack by the time I’m forty. She’s not even a teenager yet and I’m already having sleepless nights.” Both Dylan and Sawyer laugh.

“You’ll be around this weekend?” Maddox asks me when they head into the garage where Dylan hid his car.

I glance over at Sawyer who gives me a warm, casual smile. “Yeah, I think I will.”

“Good deal. You can help keep my wife from assaulting Sawyer. She’s a huge fan and says he has an amazing ass,” Maddox says, pulling a face, which makes me laugh.

“It is a pretty nice ass,” Sawyer teases his older cousin, earning him the middle finger.

“See you tomorrow,” Maddox says, throwing us a wave over his shoulder and gets into the passenger seat.

“He seems nice,” I say as we watch them back up from the garage and pull away from the house.

Sawyer pushes the button to close the garage door and pulls me into the mudroom. “He is. I think you’ll like his wife, Avery.”

“Four kids, huh?” I ask, slipping my hands into his.

“Yep. Brooklyn was hers from a previous relationship, but Maddox took to her right away and adopted her as soon as he and Avery were married. They had Ryder and Dax right away, and then were surprised with the arrival of Ellie not too long after that.”

“Sounds like a big, boisterous family,” I tell him, stepping into his embrace and wrapping my arms around his waist once more. I can’t get enough of the feel of him against me, the scent of his skin. God, I’ve missed him.

“They are,” Sawyer confirms. “So tomorrow, everyone is coming over here and having dinner. The Italian restaurant is catering it. I don’t want my mom or aunt to have to worry about cooking dinner. It’s been a few years since they’ve seen each other, so I want them to be able to spend as much time together without it being in the kitchen.”

“That’s very sweet of you.”

“It’s the least I can do. I have the biggest place for a gathering, and Dad wants to try the fire pit outside,” he says.

“I’m sure they’re all excited to finally see your place,” I tell him, knowing that his parents have been dying to get over here and see him again.

“I think they’re excited to finally meet the woman I love,” he says, stealing another kiss from my still-tingling lips.

The kiss ends way too quickly, though, and when I open my eyes, his blue ones are fixed entirely on me. “I’m sorry, Alison. I never meant to let my past come down on you like this and hurt you. Fuck,” he whispers, closing his eyes to hide his pain. “I’m just so damn sorry.” His words hold so much remorse and truth that the honesty in them practically reaches out and touches me.

My need to touch him again is too strong to fight, so I reach up and cup his jaw. “Stop apologizing. You didn’t do this. Let’s put the blame on the person who’s solely responsible for this mess.”

He nods in reply, but I can tell he’s not convinced. He feels extremely guilty for the events that transpired, which were not in his control. How was he to know his ex-wife would do the things she did to get me out of the picture? He couldn’t have.

I guess I’m just going to have to be more convincing…

I thread my fingers into his hair and pull his head toward mine. Sawyer seems a little surprised by my boldness, but he quickly recovers, wrapping his own arms around my waist and lifting, pulling me flush against his hard body. My toes dangle just off the floor as he moves us farther into the house, flipping off light switches and making sure all of the doors are locked.

When he reaches the stairs, he sets me down on my feet, but only long enough to slide his arms behind my back and knees, and picks me up, as if carrying me over the threshold. Wrapping my arms around his neck, our lips collide as he starts to ascend the stairs, heading to his bedroom.

Inside, he peels his lips from my own and stands sideways to the bed. “It’s all new,” he says softly, his eyes searching my face for a reaction. His words bring a small smile to my face. It’s comforting to know he removed every trace of Carrie from his bed, from his house.

Gently, he sets me down on top of the new gray and navy comforter, and stretches out atop me. “I missed you,” he whispers as he runs his hand down my cheek.

“I missed you too.” God, did I miss him.

“I haven’t even slept in here since you left.” His confession strikes me straight in the heart like an arrow. “Even with the new bedding, the thought of sleeping without you didn’t hold any appeal.”

Instead of speaking words, I tell him how much I understand with my lips. It starts gentle and sweet, but quickly turns ravenous and intense. Sawyer slowly strips my clothes from my body, savoring and tasting every part of me as if it had been years, not days. When I’m completely naked, he shimmies out of his clothes and grabs a condom from the nightstand.

He covers himself quickly and rejoins me in bed. I slip beneath the blankets, eager to start new memories in this bed. His hands are in constant motion, sliding along my outer thighs, back, arms, and finally, my chest. His touch ignites that constant burn, that ache that I’ve had ever since this man came into my life. It’s amazing how much I want–no, need–him.

Gently, he thrusts inside me, my body practically convulsing with need and relief at the same time. When he’s completely seated within, his eyes meet mine, alive with desire and so much love it makes my heart leap in my chest. His hands are warm and soft and he continues to touch every part of me.

Within minutes, I’m already climbing higher, my body filling with coiled tension on the verge of an epic release. My fingers grip his skin, my legs locking in a death grip around his waist, and my internal muscles squeeze his cock tighter with every thrust. There’s no way I’m letting go, and I’m not just referring to the now. I’m talking about tomorrow and the day after that. I’m thinking about years from now, when our home is filled with little footsteps and laughter. To when we’re old and gray and sitting on the back deck with a glass of lemonade (probably spiked) and watching the waves of the Bay.

I know, right now in this moment, that I will always fight for him, like he has fought for me. It’s not going to be easy, and at times I’m sure one or both of us may question the path we’ve chosen, but that’s love. It’s coming to a crossroads and deciding to take the same path–together. It’s forgiving him or her, along with yourself, when they make a mistake and do everything they can to make it right.

It’s never forgetting all of the million little reasons why you fell in love with that person in the first place.

And as we fly over the edge of bliss, together, each other’s names spilling from our lips, I know that I’ll always love him, faults and all.

“I love you, Alison Jane,” he whispers, his breath a pant against the shell of my ear.

“I love you, Sawyer,” I reply a split second before his lips could stop my words with a searing kiss.

A kiss meant to be a declaration, a beginning.

A kiss that is the start of something more.