Chapter Nineteen
“I want to know the joy of how you whisper ‘more’.”
~Rumi
For the next few days, Angel kept to a rigorous schedule with her studies and at the clinic. When she and Brian worked at the clinic together, she arranged for a friend to meet her somewhere for a drink or late-night dessert and did not include Brian. Tonight, she’d planned to meet Char at their favorite coffee shop.
Just as she organized the last of the day’s charts, Brian came to the front office. He leaned against the doorjamb, looking delectable in his kilt. He’d not worn it in days, so she suspected he well knew how his long-legged insouciant swagger enticed her.
“You’ve been avoiding me, Angel. I think you’re angry with me, lass. Can we please spend an evening together…talk things through?”
She put her hands flat on her desk and dipped her chin, not ready to make eye contact. When she finally met his gaze, the urge to capitulate tightened the muscles in her shoulders and stomach. He only needed to say her name with that deep rumble, and she wanted to jump into his arms and wrestle him to the floor. She wasn’t ready for this conversation. Not tonight. Maybe not ever.
“I have plans tonight. Perhaps we can have that little chat tomorrow.” One more day would give her time to figure out what she wanted to say because right now, she didn’t want to rehash the tired I want you, I can’t have you bullshit.
Nothing registered in his expression. No evidence of disappointment or displeasure. He hid his emotions very well when he wished to. Too bad she failed to do the same. She was certain every tingling nerve danced over her skin in an electric display of longing. Taking a note from his book, she attempted to school her emotions and present the same cool façade he managed.
Before she had found words to respond, he continued. “Tomorrow is Saturday. Might we take a drive into the country? I desperately need to get away from the constant cacophony of the city. Would you be willing to spend time alone with me?” His voice remained unflustered, smooth as a breeze across a frozen lake. His stance too cool and reserved by far while she burned.
Yes, no! Absolutely, she wanted to spend time alone with him. On the other hand, they always ended up throwing caution to the wind allowing their passions to soar only to run into the hard wall of his honor.
Brian fidgeted with his hands, the first tiny evidence that he wasn’t quite as calm as he appeared. “I promise not to take liberties with your person, Angel.”
Of course, he’d make that stupid promise. He probably meant it too. But she didn’t want them to avoid this heat between them any longer. Thoughts of him invaded her dreams. His hands, his mouth, his powerful strength called to her until she didn’t know what she wanted from him anymore. But she did know, and there was the rub.
An unfamiliar, endless need swelled beneath her breast. She found this new sensation distressing even while longing to indulge it to the limits of her imagination. And she possessed a colorful, well-informed imagination.
“I’ll think about it. Have a pleasant evening.” With that clipped, closing remark, she dashed out the door as fast as possible before she could change her mind. Char waved her over to a private corner in their favorite coffee shop. “What’s wrong?”
“Good grief, Char, give me a chance to take my seat before you shoot the first barb of the night. Nothing’s wrong. It’s just been a long week. How have you been? I haven’t seen you for a while.”
“Don’t change the subject. You look unsettled. Could it be a certain tall, muscular Highlander is not towing the line?”
Angel squirmed in her seat and fussed with her jacket as she draped it over the back of her chair. How could Charlotte agitate her within minutes?
“Aha! Just as I thought, something has happened. Fess up, spill the beans, and stop fidgeting.” A beaming smile spread across Char’s face. “Oh! Oh! Finally, things have progressed. Damn, it’s about time.”
“Urrrgh. Stop pestering me about hitting the sack with Brian. Besides, he’s the original ‘want you, need you, can’t have you because of his bloody honor’ type of guy. He’s driving me bonkers.”
“Bloody honor? Your lingo is growing colorful. Isn’t bloody a curse in the King’s English?” Now Char was outright laughing at her.
“He asked me to take him out of the city tomorrow. The press of modern society stresses him out even though he conceals it well. Every day he goes for long hikes both morning and evening, come rain or shine. Simon trails after him as if he’s a long-lost littermate. He’s becoming more Brian’s dog than he is mine. Sometimes I worry he might disappear into the wilderness like Daniel and take my bloody dog with him.”
Char’s sudden intake of breath made Angel sit back in her chair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. But it has become an honest concern. I thought you, of all people, would understand my fear. It is bad enough we haven’t heard from Daniel in months, but Brian takes longer and longer daily runs. You’d think he’s preparing for a marathon—or an escape. I don’t think I can handle him disappearing too.”
The stricken look didn’t fade from Char’s face. “I know you still miss Daniel. I miss him, too. The family misses him, but there’s nothing any of us can do about it. I thought the therapy sessions were helping you get past your feelings.”
“I don’t think there’s any getting past my feelings for Daniel. Some days I can barely drag myself out of bed from the depression, and other days I want to kick his ass for being such a bastard. However, we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you and that hot Highlander hunk that wants you in his bed. What, in heaven’s name, are you two waiting for? If you need a place to stay, you can borrow my townhouse for a night or two. I can always find a place to crash. Better yet, why don’t you take him up on his suggestion and get out of town for the weekend? Just the two of you. Maybe rent a cabin in the Sierras or go down to Henry Cowell State Park for the weekend. Brian would love that.”
“Dammit, Char. That’s the problem, every time things heat up, which is anytime we’re alone, he pulls away, and I end up feeling like crap. I’m pissed at him right now. He tells me he wants me, and then says he can’t dishonor the family, or me. I wish I’d never brought him home. If we go off together for a few nights, it will just happen again. I don’t think my ego can stand another rejection from him.” The waitress interrupted with their order. Char had taken the liberty of ordering their favorite cherry scones and coffee topped with whipped cream.
“I don’t want to push him into anything. It doesn’t feel right. I’m also avoiding him because when we’re together, we can’t keep our hands off each other, but we aren’t moving toward something more. Can you believe this; he actually said he had to ask my dad for permission to court me first. Good grief.”
“You’ve got it bad, and so does he. However, if you don’t snatch him up, some other woman is going to jump his hot bones, and you know it will happen sooner rather than later.”
Char leaned across the table and touched Angel’s hand. “Tell me, my little friend, what’s all the fuss about?” She had the most unnerving, piercing stare as though she could read a person’s thoughts. No wonder she’d captivated her brother. “Shall I tell you about the birds and the bees?”
“I don’t need any sex lessons.”
“Really? You guard your virginity tighter than Fort Knox.” Suddenly, Char sat back in her chair. “Yum, delicious trouble just arrived.”
No, no, no, he couldn’t be here. It didn’t take a clairvoyant to read Char’s face. An expression of mischief and greedy appreciation radiated from her. She sat taller, flipped her hair over her shoulder, and her sultry alter ego emerged. All thrust-up breasts, moistened lips, and come-hither eyes focused on the door, and Angel knew without looking that Brian had entered the coffee shop.
“Could you please not drool every time he comes into the room?”
“How do you know whom I’m drooling over? You haven’t turned your head yet.”
“I know it’s Brian. You don’t have to make a big play for him to annoy me or in another stupid attempt to force me to make a move. Please, give it a break tonight.”
Char slapped her hand. “You’re no fun.” She waved him over to their table. “Good evening, fellas. Are you following us now?”
Jonas pulled up a chair, “You know I’d follow you anywhere, babe.” Brian took the seat next to her. “I stopped by the clinic and found Brian abandoned and lonesome. That’s no way to treat new friends. Sooo, I thought I’d take him out on the town tonight. He needs a little walk on the wild side. Would you girls care to join us?”
Char slid her foot up Jonas’s leg. “We’re women, not girls.”
A quick peripheral glance at Brian confirmed he’d focused his attention solidly on her and not Char. A walk on the wild side was just what she wanted, but not in a public venue. Unfortunately, she’d probably get another night of yes—no—maybe, and that did not fit into her plans. Not tonight. “No thanks, I have homework stacked on my desk. I have to head home.” She gulped the last of her coffee and shoved back from the table. “I’ll see you later.”
The heat of Brian’s stare followed her out into the night where a thick mist and decided chill descended. The night, in every regard, matched the chill enshrouding her heart.