Chapter Twenty-Two
Cierra
“Come on, tell me!” Kelsey chided playfully, leaning back on the couch with a beer. “I know when you’re hiding something from me. Out with it!”
I tipped my head back and stared at the ceiling, a grin curling my lips when I thought about exactly what it was I was keeping from her. Yeah, the whole thing was a total mess, but that wasn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy indulging my little inner monologue about Trace whenever I got the chance.
It was the first time I’d really seen Kelsey since Trace and I hooked up the previous weekend; I guessed some part of me knew if she found out she’d be furious with me, and I didn’t want to face up to that. She still seemed pretty hung up on him, and I felt like a grade-A asshole for going behind her back to indulge whatever it was Trace and I shared, however intense it was and however much I enjoyed it.
“It’s really nothing,” I assured her. “Just a crush. That’s all.”
She leaned in. “Is it that Cory guy? What’s he like? Is it time for me to Facebook stalk him to see if I approve?”
“No, really, it’s fine.” I waved a hand.
“I can’t believe you’re actually dating someone again. It’s been so long since you were with someone you actually seemed to like.”
“Hey, it’s not my fault that most of the men in this city are trash.” I didn’t want to be having this conversation. I wanted to steer us somewhere else entirely, because I knew as long as we were on the subject, there was a chance that I’d let something slip, tipping her off that something had happened—hell, was happening between Trace and me.
“So true. Most of the men in this city are fucking trash.”
I eyed her for a moment. She’d called me earlier in the week, sounding emotional, but I couldn’t figure out why. As far as I knew, she was still seeing Chandler and dating a few other guys, so I wasn’t sure what was up with her. One thing I’d bet on was it involved a man; Kelsey’s whole life revolved around men.
“What’s been going on with you?” I asked, and her head snapped up from where she had been picking at the beer label for the last minute or so.
Her eyes met mine, then darted away. “Nothing. I’ve just been….” She trailed off just as I had earlier, leaving the words hanging in the air.
“Go on.”
She shook her head. “Nothing, really.”
I held my hands up. “Whatever you say. Just know I’m here to listen if something’s bothering you.”
She nodded, and for a few minutes, a thick silence filled the space between us. I lifted my beer toward my lips, letting it dangle in the air for a second before I spoke. “What was Trace like when you dated him?” I took a big gulp in hopes it would calm down my jitters.
Kelsey frowned. “What do you mean? Like, in what way?” She crumpled the beer label in her hand. “You probably know him better than I do. You guys work together now.”
I half shrugged. “Yeah, but not really. I mean, he runs the company and all that, but I’m just downstairs trying to keep things moving.”
“What do you want to know?” She gave a small sigh and her lips puffed out. Finishing her beer, she cracked another, immediately taking a sip.
“I don’t know.” I ran my fingers through my hair. I just wanted to talk about him. I couldn’t get him out of my mind, and even though I put on a brave face, I was crazy about him. And he acted as though he liked me. The passion and heat we had between us didn’t seem to want to leave us alone. All I wanted was to see and spend time with him. I hadn’t felt this drawn to a man or this crazy about one in forever.
“Well, you know I think he’s a giant asshole.” There was an edge to her voice. “He’s mean and manipulative, and I wouldn’t wish him on my worst enemy.”
“Right, good to know,” I muttered.
Her eyes narrowed. “Why? What do you think of him?”
“I only know him as my boss. He’s smart and seems to care about us—his employees.”
“I don’t know how he is as a boss, but he’s a jerk when it comes to women. I think his goal is to fuck the under-thirty-five female population in San Francisco.” She laughed dryly, but her gaze never left my face. “Do you have a crush on him? I wouldn’t blame you. He’s damn good-looking, and believe me, he knows it.”
My heart jumped into my throat and I put the empty beer bottle to my lips, pretending to drink from it.
“You wouldn’t be his type anyway,” Kelsey said as she flipped her hair over her shoulders.
“What do you mean?” I asked, dread weaving through me.
“He likes them blonde and real busty. Like me.” She threw me a cold smile as her gaze flickered to my chest.
Now, I’m not exactly flat-chested, so I figured Kelsey’s remark was meant to make me feel like crap. I cleared my throat. “Are you over him?”
“He hurt me like hell, but I’m not gonna let him ruin my life. You know I don’t have a shortage of men who want to date me. Chandler’s so in love with me, it’s cute. I’m just telling you not to fall for his charms because he’s nothing but a player. He knows how to seduce a woman, I’ll give him that. But once he’s had his fill of her, he just moves on.”
“I’m just glad you’ve moved on.” Kelsey not pining away for Trace took the guilt out of the equation for me. The Trace she described wasn’t my Trace, but maybe the Trace I knew was the fake one he used when he wanted to dupe a woman like me. Being a good judge of character was one of my strong suits, and I didn’t think I was that far off base with him. He really was a nice guy, even if he was a little bossy and spoiled.
“You should keep away from him and stick to that guy Cory.” Kelsey nudged me with her foot, bringing me out of my musings. I smiled weakly.
Cory had texted me the day after the launch asking how everything went. I’d been so wrapped up with Trace that I only answered briefly, and when he’d called me, I didn’t pick up. Since he’d been back, he’d asked me out to dinner and lunch a few times, but I wasn’t interested in going. The truth was my feelings were just for Trace, and it wasn’t fair to keep going out with Cory and lead him on. I had no idea what was going to happen between Trace and me, but I couldn’t switch off my feelings for him like a light switch. I wished I could because it would be a lot easier. Why did I have to fall for Kels’s ex and my boss? I couldn’t count the number of eligible men I’d met over the years since college, yet he was the first one to have me feeling that sweaty-palmed, fluffy-headed crush. Maybe this was the universe’s way of putting me in my place, of reminding me that no matter how in control I thought I was, things could spin out on me at any moment.
“Hey, hey.” Kelsey waved her hand in front of me. “Earth to Cierra. Calling in.”
“Sorry. I just have so much work stuff on my mind.” That was the understatement of the year.
“Let’s stop talking about men, and Trace in particular, and go out for some fun.”
I wanted nothing more than to stop talking and thinking about Trace, so I let her babble on for a while as my mind drifted to why I wanted to hang out with Kelsey. It seemed like I was nothing more than a sounding board. She never asked about my work, and she hadn’t mentioned the launch at all until I brought it up. Hanging with her was like spending the night listening to a series of monologues.
I looked up at Kelsey, and for a moment, it was like I saw her for the first time. She was the most self-absorbed person I knew, expecting the world to twist around everything she wanted and needed without any kind of thought for anyone else. I remembered all the times when she’d called in tears about some guy and would push me to go out with her even though I’d told her I had to work the next day, or I was too tired. Whenever I wanted to go out, if she didn’t want to, she wouldn’t budge. Our friendship was very one-sided, and it was getting real old.
“… so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how this pans out,” she sighed, finishing some long, dramatic anecdote about her job that I’d completely tuned out without realizing it. I blinked, snapping back to reality, and shrugged.
“I guess so,” I agreed, looking down at my beer. Even though I had just started it, I suddenly wasn’t much in the mood to continue the night any further. “Hey, can we call it?” I faked a yawn, stretching and tipping my head back. “I’m tired. It was a long week.”
She paused for a moment, her lips pressed flat and her brow wrinkled. “You’re really going to sit home on a Friday night?”
“Yeah. You know I’m usually dragging my ass on Fridays.”
“Whatever,” she snapped, getting to her feet and dumping her beer bottle loudly on the coffee table next to the couch. “I’ll catch you later.”
Grabbing her bag, she stormed out before I had the chance to walk her to the door. In that moment, I wondered if Kelsey even knew how to be a friend.