TEN
Rowdy leaned forward, muscular arms propping him up on the mattress as he stared into her eyes. Kelly fought the need to glance away from him, to deny the hold he had on her. There was no turning away from him. He mesmerized her, made her hungry, made her need.
“I’m not scared of you, Rowdy,” she tried to smirk back at him. “Don’t try to intimidate me.”
“If you don’t like the games, then don’t play them.” His voice was dangerously, warningly soft. “You want something from me, then tell me what you want.”
Her teeth clenched in anger.
“Fine,” she snapped. “I want you out of my bedroom and out of my face. Go away.” She made a shooing motion with her hand then stared at him in shock as his hand whipped out, catching her wrist.
Her heart jumped to her throat as he brought her fingers to his mouth, rubbed them against the velvet roughness of his lips before opening them and licking over the pads with a subtle flick of his tongue.
She was helpless. Struck dumb by the sheer sensuality of watching him caress nothing but her fingertips. Feeling the warmth of his lips, the flickering heat of his tongue, the sensual nip of his teeth.
Each caress sent flares of heat exploding with sensual devastation throughout her body. Her nipples were so hard, the nerves there so sensitized, that they were sending rippling flares of response straight to her womb, convulsing it with an erotic punch of pleasure.
“Rowdy…” She was shocked at the whimper in her voice, at her inability to pull away from him.
He came closer. Kneeling on the bed, still holding her hand, he pulled her to him until she was on her knees facing him.
He took her other wrist, placing her palms against his chest before his hands smoothed up her arms, over her shoulders, down her back to her hips. She trembled, shuddering at the light caress; it could have been firmer, could have been more destructive. It was subtle instead. Soft. Giving her the chance to break away, knowing she couldn’t. That she wouldn’t.
“You’re mine,” he whispered again as his head lowered.
She stared back at him, fighting to breathe, fighting against the desires raging inside her. She was helpless against his touch, against the hunger that gleamed in his eyes.
Just as she became helpless against his kiss.
His lips covered hers, slowly at first. So slowly, too slowly. They stroked over hers, his tongue flickering out to lave them a second before his teeth caught the lower curve, nipping at it as he watched her.
Her breathing hitched as she felt his hands bunch in the material of the gown at her hips. It drew slowly up her thighs, working over her flesh, baring her to his hands.
“Easy,” he whispered against her lips. “Just feel, Kelly. Feel for me. Burn for me…”
She felt cool air caress her thighs, then his hands against her naked flesh, callused, heated, as his lips slanted over hers and he stole her mind with his kiss.
Deep, drugging kisses. Pleasure tore through her system, consumed her to the point that the knowledge that she was being lowered, laid beneath him, barely registered in her mind. All she knew was the pleasure. The feel of his hard body above her, his hands smoothing over her bare thighs, her hips, then working on the tiny buttons at the bodice while his kisses ravished her lips.
She was drowning in him. The taste of him. His touch. The muted male sounds of hunger and pleasure as she began to touch him. She needed to touch him. To immerse herself in every sensual sensation she could consume. Her nervous system was rioting with the chaotic impulses rushing through them. The air around them became heated, steamy with the desperation that infused each kiss, each touch.
“God, you taste sweet.” His lips tore from hers, his breathing heavy, hard, as they moved to her neck.
She tilted her neck, panting for air as she felt his teeth rake down the sensitive column, then felt the brush of cool air over her naked breasts.
As his head lifted, she opened her eyes, staring back at him in dazed fascination as his gaze dropped. He had pulled apart the unbuttoned edges of her gown, displaying the swollen, hard-tipped mounds of her breasts.
The expression on his face was pure, carnal hunger. His eyes heavy-lidded, his lips moist and swollen from their kisses, his cheekbones flushed a brick red.
As though suspended between dream and reality, she watched as his head lowered, her eyes widening, a strangled groan leaving her lips as his tongue covered one spiked, aroused nipple.
Reaction shot through her, jerking at her body as her hands tightened on his neck, her back arching. This was heaven. It was ecstasy. The most pleasure she had ever known in her life.
His tongue lashed at the hard point as he sucked the flesh into his mouth, drawing on her deeply, creating a pleasure–pain sensation that had a startled cry leaving her lips.
Lips he immediately covered, stilling the aroused cries as his fingers replaced his mouth. Tweaking at the tender tips, causing her to writhe beneath him as she fought to get closer, to still the ache burning between her thighs.
“Shh. Easy.” His groan was whispered against her lips, his voice dark, desperate. “Damn, Kelly. I can’t take you here. Dad will kill me.”
“I’ll kill you if you don’t.” His chest pressed against her breasts, rasped her nipples so she fought to breathe. “Don’t stop, Rowdy, please.”
His hand smoothed down to her thigh, his fingers close, so close to where she needed them. She gazed back at him pleadingly, feeling her vagina ripple with need, the muscles clenching in desperation.
“If I take you, you’re going to scream,” he whispered, his eyes darkening, a ravenous lust filling his expression. “I want to hear every cry that leaves your lips, Kelly. Every scream as you come around me. I can’t do that here. We can’t do that here. You know that.”
She shook her head, a weak whimper passing her lips.
“I’ve waited too long, Rowdy.”
“Shh.” His kiss was gentle and much too short as he eased her gown over her thighs and then covered her breasts once again. “Tomorrow. We’ll go out on the boat,” he whispered, pushing her hair back before moving slowly to her side and pulling her into his arms.
She laid her head against his chest, fighting to regulate her breathing, to tear herself back from the endless spiral of heat he had thrown her into.
“That wasn’t fair,” she whispered as he lifted the sheet over them. “You’re supposed to be sleeping in your own bed.”
She was too weak to make him move now, too desperate for his touch, any touch, to force him from her bed.
“Go to sleep.” His arms contracted around her. “I’d be fighting shadows if I slept away from you, Kelly. Let me hold you. Know you’re okay.”
She pressed her lips to his chest. “It wasn’t your fault, Rowdy,” she told him softly, wondering at the edge of remorse she heard in his voice.
He was silent, but his hands still stroked her back, soothing now, where seconds before they had been arousing.
“Just let me hold you,” he repeated. “Sleep beside me, Kelly. We’ll argue out the rest of it later.”
“You want me to sleep?” She sighed, shaking her head. “Rowdy, I’m never going to sleep with your hard-on poking at my belly all night.”
“Sure you can,” he chuckled at her ear. “You need your rest, baby. Because tomorrow night, I really wouldn’t bet on you getting any sleep at all.”
She was silent then, lying against him, feeling his arms surrounding her, protecting her. God, what was she doing? She had lived and breathed for the day Rowdy would return and see her as more than just a pesky little girl. That he would see her as a woman, as his woman. And here he was, ready to claim her, and she was fighting it, fighting him. Or was she fighting herself?
“This isn’t a game, Kelly.” His voice was soft, surrounding her, causing her eyelids to flutter in pleasure as it stroked over her senses. “I’m deadly serious about this. About us. I wasn’t joking when I said you were mine. I came home to claim you, if that’s what you still want.”
“Maybe it doesn’t work that way, Rowdy. I want you until I can’t think, can’t breathe. But you’re different now.”
“I’m no different than I’ve ever been and you know it.” His voice hardened. “You don’t like the fact that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to protect you. You want everything tied up in roses and sweet promises. I can give you that, to a point. But I won’t ignore the danger. And you have to accept that. This will be taken care of.”
He wasn’t angry; he wasn’t trying to convince her. He was telling her.
“You’re talking about using me. Me and whatever we share between us sexually, flaunting it in front of him to provoke him.” That terrified her more than she wanted to admit.
“It’s the quickest way to finish this.”
“Maybe the quickest way isn’t always the best.” She didn’t know if she wanted to take that step, if she wanted to force a madman’s hand.
“Or maybe you think you can hide whatever this relationship brings.” His voice hardened. “Do you believe that’s possible, Kelly? Whether you make the choice to immerse yourself in everything I can give you, or not, doesn’t make a difference. Everyone is going to believe you are. He’ll believe you are. My plan will just flush him out quicker, that’s all. But we’ll play it however you choose.”
She didn’t like the easy, matter-of-fact way he said that. She could feel a “but” in there somewhere, she just had to find it.
“You could have at least tried to hide that part of your sex life from the world,” she finally sighed with an edge of irritation.
“Why?” He sounded genuinely curious now. “Kelly, I’m who I am. I don’t hide that, from anyone. I don’t flaunt it. I don’t advertise it. Others have. What happens between you and me I expect will stay between you and me. You don’t advertise yourself, and you won’t advertise our relationship. Why should we do without something we might enjoy because of what others suspect, or think?”
She hated it when he pulled logic into his arguments with her. He had always done that.
“Because I’m scared,” she whispered, rolling away from him to sit on the side of the bed.
“Of me?”
“Of myself. Of what could happen.” She moved to her feet, pacing away from the bed as she rubbed at the chill that rushed over her arms. “You’re talking about pushing someone who isn’t sane. And in the same breath…” She shook her head.
“I’m asking you to make a decision,” he finished for her. “Not about your safety but about something much more important to you. Your sexuality.”
“I’m still a virgin.” Her laughter was self-mocking. “I expected something a little more romantic, Rowdy.”
“And you deserved something a hell of a lot more romantic, Kelly.” He sighed. “But catching this stalker is more important than romance. And I’m not going to play games with you. From the beginning, we won’t be alone. If it doesn’t happen for you with Dawg and Natches, then we have to at least give the impression of it. We can’t afford to let this guy catch us unawares, I can’t afford to let him hurt you again, because God as my witness, my sanity won’t survive it, Kelly.”
“God!” She pushed her fingers through her hair, turning from him, trying to ignore the fact that she wasn’t insulted, wasn’t offended or furious. “You’re not talking about this thing with your cousins being a one-time deal, are you?” She kept her back to him, kept her expression hidden.
“No. I’m not.”
The rumors had started when they were in their teens. Three young men with charisma and sexuality, who had been the downfall of a local divorcée. It had begun then, at an age that none of the three men would reveal. Too young, Rowdy knew. But damn, it had been hot that summer, and not just from the sun. Loren Barnes had been a quiet, schoolmarmish lady on the outside, but inside she had been hotter than fireworks in July.
She had taken three uncertain virgin boys and, in a few short months, taught them to be men well before their time. All together. All at once. One soft female body, her approval and cries of pleasure penetrating their lust-hazed minds as they took her lessons and drove her to the brink of passion with them.
She taught them how to romance, how to tease, how to cajole, how to subtly drive a woman crazy and make her so wet the slick essence of her would dampen her thighs. She had taught them how much more pleasure they could bring together than alone. And to the Mackay boys, that was what it was all about.
Women were treasures, precious gifts of never-ending excitement, sweetly scented flesh, and mysterious motives. They were a challenge and a comfort, a balm to the soul, and an adventure like nothing else ever created. They were infinitely strong, and yet infinitely vulnerable. Rowdy, Dawg, and Natches had realized years before that alone they couldn’t give the pleasure they could together, but also, they couldn’t protect as well.
Ironically, it was Kelly who taught them that lesson. As a kid, keeping up with her had been practically impossible for just one of them. It took the three of them to keep her safe, to keep her happy as she grew up. Watching for the bullies who liked to pick on her because she was poor, because she was pretty as a picture and sweetly gentle. And they wanted to keep her that way.
She was also impetuous, defiant, and smart as a whip. There had been nothing sexual involved. She amused them, made them laugh, and challenged them to keep up with her with an innocent thirst for life and adventure that appealed to the teenagers. After her mother married Ray, she was then “family,” as well.
As she grew older, as they grew older, things had slowly shifted for all of them. Four years ago it had come to a head. She had just turned twenty, hotter than fireworks and as tempting as sin itself. The three of them had been a little too drunk, a little too wild that night. And she had been there.
“Make up your mind, Rowdy. You don’t put a claim on her, one of us is going to.” Natches’s eyes followed her as she laughed and danced beneath the brilliance of the full summer moon.
“She’s still too young.” He denied the need, as well as the challenge.
“Keeping the local boys off her ass is getting harder,” Dawg muttered. “I’m tired of bruising my knuckles on their thick skulls. Make up your mind. If you don’t intend to keep her, one of us will.”
Rowdy grimaced, finished his beer, then crumpled the can as he fought to hold onto his control. It was getting harder each time he came home, to stay the hell away from her.
“She’s too fucking young and the two of you know it,” he snapped. “She’s not ready for it.”
“She’s old enough to make the choice,” Natches drawled. “You’re going back to the Marines and that’s fine. But if she’s not willing to wait on you, then we aren’t either. Claim her man, or one of us will.”
She had been like a fire at midnight. He had to make her want to wait on him. He had to ensure her need for him. And he had done that. But in doing it, he had cemented his need for her.
As he held her in the darkness of the night, the soft warmth of her pressed into his chest, he knew her earlier protest was the key to her soul. The romance. She needed the romance, she deserved it, but God knew he had no idea how to make it romantic. He could give her pleasure. Enough pleasure to leave her screaming in orgasm, begging for more. But the heart of the woman needed more. A lesson Loren had taught them, but one they had forgotten over the years.
The women they had drawn to them hadn’t been ones to need the romance, or even want it.
For the first time in his life Rowdy felt helpless. Eliminating the threat to her was imperative. And he wasn’t going to lie to her. Not Kelly. She deserved more than that.
“You’re not asleep.” Her whisper was as soft as a breath.
“Neither are you.” He sighed, knowing her mind had been running as fast as his.
They hadn’t said much since that final question. She had drawn in a deep, hard breath, informed him she was going to sleep then curled into his arms, and turned out the lights. But she hadn’t gone to sleep anymore than he had.
“Why do you do it?” she finally asked. He didn’t have to ask what she was talking about. It was a question he had hoped she wouldn’t ask. Yet he had known she would.
He slid his hand from her hip to her stomach, feeling the muscles flutter beneath his palm.
“A man’s pleasure comes from his woman’s,” he whispered. “Because we learned how much better it can be for a woman when no part of her body is neglected. Because we learned as young men how much easier it is to protect what’s ours when we work together. Hell, Kelly, I could give you a thousand reasons and none of them would really make sense. Because it’s who we are, what we are.”
“Will it end?” He knew where she was going, what she would eventually ask.
“Only if you want it to. My needs aren’t more important than yours. It won’t be every time. It won’t be an either-or.”
She was silent for long moments. He closed his eyes, grimacing in painful awareness of the can of worms he had opened.
“And when they find the women they want for their own? What then?”
“It’s not an either-or,” he repeated. “I’ll do nothing you can’t live with, Kelly. Ever.”
“But you’ll want to.” Her voice lowered further. “If Dawg or Natches found a woman they wanted for their own, then you’d want to be a part of it, wouldn’t you, Rowdy?”
“I wouldn’t miss being a part of it, anymore than you would miss their touch after having had it.” There was no way to reassure her, and God knew he wanted to.
He felt her flinch against him.
“You would touch another woman?”
“I would never do anything that would jeopardize us.” That wasn’t acceptable. “Ever. Not at any time.”
As he stared into the darkness, he thought of her touch, her kiss. Could he touch another woman? At any time?
“So it would be my choice?”
“It would be your choice.”
“But you would still want to.” It wasn’t a question.
“I don’t know.” He couldn’t lie to her. He wouldn’t lie to her, even though he was terrified of losing her.
He caressed her abdomen as he held her, as silence filled the room once again.
“This might not work.” Her voice trembled with an awareness of what she might be looking at. “I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if I could handle your need to do it.”
He sighed heavily into her hair, drawing her closer, knowing he could be risking both their hearts with the hungers that tormented him. It was the reason he had left four years before, the reason he couldn’t begin this relationship with anything less than the truth.
“I can live without it,” he told her softly. “I don’t know if I could live without you, Kelly. Not now. Not after the years I’ve spent needing you. I’ll give you everything I am, as much as you want. That’s all I can do.”
She turned to him then, her soft gray eyes dark in the dim light of the room as he stared into the shadowed expanse of her face.
“The first time…”
He closed his eyes. “However you want it.”
Bonding came in so many ways. He would have had Dawg and Natches there, but he wouldn’t push her. He couldn’t push her. Not now.
“You want them there.”
His eyes flew open at the soft statement.
“I want them there,” he affirmed, knowing her safety demanded nothing less. He ignored the possessiveness raging inside him. “Kelly, I want everything for you, and I know that’s hard to understand. The first time, it’s special for a woman. It begins a bonding with her lover, one that never really dies. It’s why I’ve never taken a virgin, never fooled with a woman who didn’t know the score, until you.”
He felt the shiver that raced over her, the little tremor of fear, or response, he wasn’t certain.
“You want me to have that, with them?” The uncertainty in her voice, the edge of hurt broke his heart.
“Kelly, listen to me.” He framed the side of her face with his hand, his thumb smoothing over her cheek. “I’m not going to do a damned thing that’s going to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. Baby, it won’t be good for me, or for Dawg and Natches, if it isn’t something you want with everything inside you. This is your choice. The perception of it isn’t.”
“But you want it,” she said fiercely.
“Don’t make excuses.” He could feel it in her then, the need to have the choice taken from her, to be seduced. “I’m not making them and I won’t let you. Think about it, Kelly. Decide what you want, what you need. I’m not a kid, and you’ve known me too long to be able to fool yourself about me. You’ve known, you wanted to sugarcoat it, pretend it wasn’t real, but you knew. Now decide what you want, because I won’t make that decision for you. Not now, not ever. I love you, baby, but I can’t love you enough for both of us.”
He felt her then, her fingers moving against his chest, leaving a path of fire in their wake as they smoothed over his chest.
“Can you do anything without your cousins?” she asked. “Or do you need their help all the time, Rowdy? Maybe you’re the one making excuses.”
Damn. Her fingers were at his abdomen now, her nails raking over his flesh, tracing the skin above the waistband of his sweatpants.
Impetuous. Defiant. An adventure. That was Kelly.
His hand trapped hers, holding it still against him, his eyes narrowing on her in the darkness.
“Anywhere but here,” he growled. “Now go to sleep, minx. I’ll be damned if I’ll have our parents hearing us in here screwing our brains out. I’m right fond of keeping my private parts intact if it’s all the same to you.”
She chuckled, flipped around, then horror of all horrors, because his control was edging toward nonexistence, that curvy little ass tucked into his hips, cushioning the raging fullness of his cock. Son of a bitch.
“Good night, Rowdy.” Her husky little purr nearly had him coming in his pants. “Maybe tomorrow we’ll see what you can actually do without your cousins around to approve of it.”
A grin tilted his lips. Oh, he’d show her all right, in ways she could never imagine.