EIGHT
As they ate, he told her about the Marines. She knew he was glossing over the harder details, the blood and death he’d seen overseas, the friends he had lost. She knew when he was talking about those friends who were no longer alive to laugh with him. His eyes would darken, his expression becoming reflective.
He told her about the desert, made her laugh at some of the pranks he and his buddies had played on their CO or other soldiers. She saw the beauty of the sun rising over a desert landscape, or the calm tranquillity of the moon rising, with his deep voice and reverent descriptions.
But he had missed home. She heard that in every word. How beautiful the moon glistening off the sand could be, but it didn’t compare to the early morning fog that rose from the lake or the moon slicing a path of golden light across the wet surface.
How he would miss the guys he’d fought with, but he dreamed of slipping off into the mountains and making the homemade moonshine he, Natches, and Dawg often made.
The silence of the desert, the symphony of the forest. He saw the beauty of the land he’d been in, but he knew the treasures to be found in the land he’d grown up in.
“What about women?” She asked the question that plagued her most as he stacked the dishes in the tiny dishwasher and turned back to where she watched him from the table.
She propped her elbow on the table, cupping her chin in her hands as she watched him curiously.
“I wasn’t a saint, baby.” His lips quirked with that sexy little half smile that was trademark Rowdy. “But there was nothing serious. Hasn’t been anyone in a while, actually. What about you?”
He was leaning against the counter, his muscular body relaxed. Well, mostly relaxed. He was hard. She could glimpse the bulge in the front of his jeans from the lower portion of her vision and was dying for a full look.
“No one for me,” she answered with a self-mocking grimace. “I couldn’t get over you. You left and broke my young heart.”
“Better your young heart than my neck,” he grunted. “I was twenty-two-years-old, Kelly. I should have been shot for even looking at you then.” His eyelids lowered. “But it was damned hard not to look. You filled out a pair of shorts almost as good as you fill them out now.”
She felt the flush that rose over her face, her gaze flickering away from him for long moments as she breathed in deeply.
“You know, those loose clothes are going to have to go,” he sighed. “One of my favorite parts of coming home was watching you run around in those snug little shorts and tank tops. Made my dick harder than hell, but it was a sight I sure as hell miss, Kelly.”
Her gaze slammed into his. The green was darker now, his expression heavy with hunger.
“I…” She swallowed tightly. “I’m more comfortable—”
“Bullshit.” The whispered retort was delivered with a knowing smile. “You’re scared. I’m home now, Kelly. Trust me.”
He had promised her, so long ago, as long as he was around, no one would hurt her. It was the bully, she remembered. She was terrified of staying in the park after school while her mother worked, after the bullies had started picking on her. Unless Rowdy was there. He had taken care of her. And sometimes one of the others. If Rowdy couldn’t be there, Dawg or Natches had been.
“Remember when I promised I’d always take care of you?” he whispered. “You were the littlest bit of thing I had ever laid my young eyes on. Those tears on your face when those bullies stole that frippery in your hair made me madder than hell.”
“You saved my hair bows.” She restrained her teasing smile. “And saved Mom a ton of extra money. I loved my hair bows.”
“You still love your hair bows.” He grinned. “I saw them scattered all over your bathroom last night when I got up for a drink. Damned things own your sink counter.”
The style of those pretty hair trifles had changed now. Rather than actual bows there were silver barrettes, glittering little bobby pins, and stylish little doodads he had yet to identify.
She lifted her brows. “They’re pretty though.”
He pushed from the counter, moving with a predatory ease, a shift of bone, muscle, and sinew that had her breath catching in her throat as he walked to the table.
“No.” He reached out, the backs of his fingers smoothing over the side of her face. “You’re pretty. Too damned pretty for those loose clothes. Take them off for me.”
Her eyes widened. “I didn’t bring a change—”
“You have on a bra and panties, I presume?” His fingers wrapped around her wrist, drawing her to her feet. “I bet they cover you better than that damned bathing suit did when you were seventeen.”
The air was suddenly too thick to breathe, her sight dazed, filled with the color of Rowdy’s eyes and the desire she could see glowing in them. Her thighs tightened as she felt the tingle of response racing through her womb, rippling through her vagina.
“I’ll head the boat for the cove,” he whispered. “We could do some swimming, watch the moon rise over the lake. Would you like that, Kelly?”
“A bra and panties isn’t exactly a bathing suit.” She drew in a deep breath, moving away from him as she tugged at the large shirt.
“It’s not exactly naked, either,” he said as he moved to the wheel column. “Think about it. So do we go to the cove anyway?” He glanced back at her, lifting a black brow suggestively.
Kelly breathed in deeply.
“The cove sounds like fun.” She finally nodded firmly.
“And the clothes?” His gaze dropped over her body before coming back to her eyes.
She lifted her brow mockingly. “You haven’t done anything to deserve it yet, Rowdy,” she purred sweetly. “I guess I’ll just have to think about it.”
She was going to have to think about it?
As he maneuvered the Nauti Buoy toward the hidden cove, Rowdy found a smile tugging at his lips. He might not deserve to see those loose clothes coming over her perky little body, but he was going to. The long, thin, denim shirt fell to her thighs and draped over her slender shoulders. Even her jeans were loose, a protective shell to cover herself with.
His jaw clenched at the thought. Kelly had never had a problem wearing clothes that emphasized her slender body, until now. The attack had changed that; she was nervous now, where before she had been confident of herself as a desirable, pretty young woman.
She didn’t tease him like she had for far too many years. She was more contained, quieter. And he realized he missed the spitfire she had been. By now, they should have been arguing loud enough to draw attention, while she drove him crazy with a combination of lust and exasperation.
Instead, she was standing at the glass sliding doors, staring into the distance reflectively as her fingers gripped the drapes at the side.
“I think you’re wrong, Kelly.” He leaned into the back of the barstool he was sitting in, one hand gripping the wheel as the boat plowed through the water toward the cove.
“About what?” She turned back to him with a frown, her gray eyes twinkling with good humor.
“I think I deserve to see you stripped down to something decent.” He scowled. “Stop letting that bastard win.”
She rolled her eyes before turning back to the scenery outside the boat.
“You don’t know everything, Rowdy,” she retorted, but there was no conviction in her voice.
“I know you.” He began unbuttoning his own shirt as he glanced at her, his cock throbbing in delight as she glanced back at him, her eyes shadowed with interest.
Within seconds he’d stripped the shirt, tossing it back on the chair behind him as he flashed her a wicked grin.
She turned to him then, crossing her arms over her breasts as she lifted her brow.
“You could at least lose the jeans,” he pointed out. “That shirt is big enough to cover two of you. No one would know.”
Four years ago she had worn that tiny little bikini all damned day, flipping around him like a wood nymph intent on driving mortal men insane. Now, he couldn’t even get her out of her pants.
“You’re pushing,” she warned, her voice holding a subtle snap.
“You haven’t seen me push yet, baby,” he growled in return. “Do you think I didn’t take the time to find out just how much you’ve been hiding since that bastard attacked you? You stopped dressing like the girl I knew and started dressing like your damned grandmother instead. You’re scared.”
“Well, duh!” she mocked him. “Go figure. Maybe I should just prance around naked for you, Rowdy.” She wasn’t really angry, yet. Her eyes were sparkling though, her cheeks flushing with irritation.
“That would work for me.” He grinned wolfishly. “Let’s try it and see if it will work for you. Take yours off and I’ll take mine off.”
“You would take yours off anyway.” Her laughter was soft, knowing.
“For you, baby, anytime.” He winked.
“A far cry from your answer in the past years.” The shade of mockery in her voice wasn’t lost on him. “Why now? You come back and suddenly can’t wait to get into bed with me? It’s enough to make a girl suspicious.”
“No doubt,” he agreed, grinning back at her. “There’s no secret there, sweetheart. I wasn’t about to take a kid to my bed. Being a virgin will be hard enough for you, I at least wanted you to be mature enough to know what the hell you were getting into. But I had no intentions of not coming back for you.”
Surprise reflected in her eyes.
“And if I decided I wanted someone else?” Her eyes narrowed, her lips thinning at the confidence he knew she was reading in his tone.
“Then Dawg or Natches would have taken care of it until I made it back on leave.” He shrugged easily. “I put a claim on you a long time ago, Kelly. You just didn’t realize it.”
“Somewhere between the little sex games that your buddies shared in?”
Ohhh, now was that just a little shade of jealousy there? He watched her closely from the corner of his eye as he kept the teasing grin in place.
“Sex games are for adults.” He scratched at his chin as he glanced back at her. “You couldn’t handle them.”
“Who says I couldn’t handle them?” She frowned back at him as she straightened and placed her hands on her hips. “You never gave me the chance to try.”
He snorted. “Don’t let your mouth write checks your body can’t cash, baby. Don’t dare me.”
He gave her a dark, warning look, one she immediately recognized. He wasn’t playing here. Not yet. And before he started, he wanted her aware of the rules.
“I’m not stupid.” She pushed her hands into her jeans pockets, staring back at him with an edge of anger, of arousal. “I paid attention to your reputation a long time ago.”
She wasn’t shying away from him. That was good. He didn’t want her shying away from him; he wanted her curious, interested. He wanted her horny.
“Did you now?” He ran his hand over his chest as he guided the houseboat into a turn that would take it off the main section of the lake and into a more narrow waterway leading to the cove. “And you still teased me every chance you had. You’ve stopped teasing me. Maybe you decided you can’t handle it.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re being a prick.”
“I’m being honest, Kelly.” He gave his head a quick, negative jerk. “You listened to the rumors, you say. Evidently you didn’t listen close enough.”
“What does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said,” he answered, narrowing his eyes as he glanced back at her. “I’m fine with having the princess. I’ll take you to my bed, treat you like crystal, and love you with everything I have to give you, for as long as you can put up with me. But don’t tempt the beast, sugar, because when he gets hungry, you might get more than you’ve bargained for.”
He watched her expression go blank.
“You love me?” She blinked back at him, so damned innocent it made his guts clench.
“Kelly, I’ve always loved you,” he told her, meaning it. Knowing he meant it. “In one way or the other, you’ve always been a part of me. You’re old enough to decide if you want to settle in with one man, forever, or not. I figure I can give you this summer to decide for sure if I’m that man. If not, then I’ll let you go. It wouldn’t be easy, but I’d do it—”
“But, Rowdy, I’ve always loved you.” She watched him in confusion now, hope and fear in equal parts shadowing her eyes.
He tapped his fingers against the wheel, turning it until it swung into another waterway leading to the private cove. Natches’s family owned the small property that bordered the bay. It was on the back side of undeveloped land, and completely private.
“Yeah, I know you have,” he finally answered as he pulled along the tree-shaded bank and cut the engine.
He didn’t say anything more as he moved beyond the sliding doors, throwing out the heavy front anchor weight before moving to the back and doing the same. As he returned to the living area, he paused by the table.
“I came back for you,” he said, leaning against the small bar, forcing himself to stand away from her. “That’s why Dad was so worried. He knew I came back for you. And the rumors are fact, baby. So don’t push me where the games are concerned.”
“I don’t need you or your dad making decisions for me,” she snapped, her gray eyes flaring in defiance. “If we’re going to try for a relationship, then we’ll meet in the middle. Somehow. But not if you think you can plan my life for me.”
His lips twitched. She was a bundle of fire, that was for damned sure.
“Take off the pants,” he whispered. “Let’s go one step at a time, Kelly. See what your limits are together.”
“Our limits,” she retorted. “Not just mine.”
His lips curled into a frankly sexual, wicked smile.
Kelly licked her lips nervously. The action had the head of his erection pounding with need. Damn, he wanted that little tongue there laving the thick crest, licking around it as though it were a favorite treat.
She bit her lower lip and glanced away before breathing in deeply. Her hands moved, pulling out of the jeans pockets before moving beneath the shirt to unsnap the pants. She kicked off her sandals then pushed the jeans over her hips and down her legs.
Within seconds she was laying them over the chair with his shirt before turning back to him.
“You used to tease me like a brazen little hussy,” he whispered, staring at her legs, dying to feel them around his hips. “It was one of the things I looked forward to most when I thought of coming home.” He watched her move toward him, her eyes becoming cloudy with passion as he kept his voice low, carefully teasing.
“You didn’t act as though you enjoyed it,” she murmured as she drew up to him. He jerked as she placed her small hand on his bare chest and ran it slowly down to his tight abdomen. “You stayed away from me.”
He lifted his hand, moving it to her arm, feeling the softness of her skin as he ran his fingers to her elbow and back again.
“If you knew the things I wanted to do to you over the years, you would have run screaming.” He stared down at her uplifted face, his gaze on her lips. The soft, candy pink perfection of those full curves had him aching. “You’re still too damned young for the things I want to do to you. With you.”
“What did you want to do to me, Rowdy?” Her hand slid from his abdomen to his chest again as she stared at him, her eyes reflecting the same hungry need she had shown for years, but it also showed a shadow of fear, of hesitation.
“Everything.” He wasn’t going to lie to her. Now wasn’t the time to hide any part of who or what he was, or the hungers he could unleash on her. If there was a time to be honest with her, it was now. Before the emotional connection that had bonded them for so many years deepened, before there was a chance she could be hurt.
Arousal flashed in her eyes as her breathing became heavier, jerkier. “Give me an example.”
He ran his fingers down her arm until he found her hand, lifted it, pulling her fingers to his lips as he watched her through narrowed eyes. Her gaze flickered to his lips as he licked over the pad of two fingers, her eyelids drooping, pleasure rather than fear filling her gaze.
“You know what I want,” he whispered. “Exactly what I suspect you’re most frightened of now.” He lifted his other hand, smoothing back her hair from her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. “I want to strip you down, love you from head to toe as often as possible, and sometimes…we might not be alone.”
Her breath caught in a hard hitch a second before she jerked away from him, moving across the room, her shoulders stiff and straight as he forced himself to relax, to wait.
“And if we weren’t alone?” Her voice was thin, breathy. He couldn’t tell if it was arousal or fear that inspired it.
“If we weren’t alone, you know the only men I’d ever allow around you,” he told her softly.
“And if it’s not what I want?” She asked, her gray eyes dark, shadowed with indecision.
“Then I won’t press you for it.” He crossed his arms over his chest again as he leaned against the counter. “That doesn’t mean I won’t think about it, that I won’t fantasize the hell out of it. I won’t lie to you, Kelly. Ever. And I won’t have things between us that don’t need to be there.”
“And how do they feel about this?” Arousal lay thick in her voice, as did the fear. “Have the three of you already been making plans to seduce me?”
“There are times when men don’t have to make plans, Kelly.” He kept his voice smooth, even. “They know me, just as well as I know them. No plans will ever be made outside of your presence.”
She breathed in slowly, her nostrils flaring as she watched him closely.
“Which brings me to another point,” he continued. “Whether you want to do it or not, you’re going to at least have to fake it. Until I catch that bastard who attacked you, I’ll let him think it’s going on. I’ll torture him with the knowledge of it. Because I’ll be damned if I’ll let him threaten you any longer. So you might want to think about at least enjoying some of the pretense.”
As he spoke, he watched her pale, then flush as fury contorted her features with lightning swiftness. A spark was all it took, and he had known he was taking that risk.
“You think you’re going to play with me?” she threw back at him, her voice rising in fury. “That I’m going to let you play head games with that sick bastard until he comes after me again?”
Betrayal flashed in her eyes, in her voice.
“Think again, damn you.” She stalked over to the chair, yanking her pants from the seat and jerking them over her legs as she cast him a heated glare. “You’re a son of a bitch, Rowdy. I can’t believe you’d do this.” Emotion clogged her throat, the pain in her voice tearing at his chest.
“Hell yes, I’ll do it,” he snarled, stalking to her as she struggled to snap and zip her jeans. He gripped her arms, staring down at her, rage eating him alive at the thought of that perverted bastard holding her down, cutting her with that knife. “I’ll do whatever it takes, Kelly, do you understand me? He’s a threat to you. A danger. And that I will not tolerate. If we don’t catch him, he’s going to rape again, and the next woman might not live to regret it. Is that what you want?”
“You want to use me.” She slapped at his arms, breaking away from him as she screamed the accusation in his face, her gray eyes swimming with tears. “You want to pervert what I feel for you, what I’ve needed for years, and turn it into some kind of damned war game.”
“I want you until I can’t breathe, dammit,” he growled back at her. “I haven’t taken a comfortable breath since you developed breasts. But he’s going to come after you again, sooner or later. You know it and I know it. What happens if he catches me off guard? If he gets to you again?”
“You can’t know that. And I’m careful now.”
“I snuck up on you yesterday morning,” he snapped. “Do you have any idea how easy it is to get past even Dad’s security system? Do you think you could have stopped him even if that window had been closed and locked?” He saw the truth in her eyes. “Forget that, Kelly. The other girls he raped couldn’t stop him. He raped one of them while her parents slept only rooms away from her. You can’t hide from him, and you can’t run.”
“Stop yelling at me!” She pushed him back furiously, her hands cracking against his stomach as she slapped against it to forcibly put distance between them.
“You aren’t listening to me,” he snarled.
“And I won’t listen to you,” she screamed, the tears falling from her eyes, her face pale, her eyes raging with fury and the sense of betrayal he could see tearing through her. “You call this love? Setting me up? Oh God, Rowdy, how could you do this to me?”
A sob tore through her body as she stared up at him, her fists clenched at her side, tears wetting her cheeks and breaking his heart.
“Do what, Kelly?” he finally asked wearily, shaking his head. “Want you safe? Well? I’m telling you who and what I am, and what I am endangers you with this bastard anyway if he’s even heard of me. Dawg, Natches, and I have been sharing our women since we were old enough to understand what our dicks were made for. You know that as well as anyone else does. Loving me doesn’t mean you have to do shit about it. Loving you doesn’t mean it’s something I have to have. But we’re talking about more than that now. We’re talking about your life, and I’ll do whatever the hell it takes to keep that bastard from ever touching you again. Ever, Kelly.”
“And how do you know it wasn’t one of them?” she threw in his face. “It could have been either of them. He tried to rape me anally, Rowdy. And the three of you are considered the ass-fucking kings, so tell me how you know it’s not one of them.”
“Because they know me,” he snapped back. “And they’ve watched you twitch that little ass at me since you were a teenager. Trust me, baby, if it was one of them, they would have never made the mistake of believing that good girl persona you project to every other man close enough to watch you. You’re a good girl to the world, but you, baby, are bad to the bone when it comes to me. I know it, and you know it. You just have to accept it.”
“Get fucked!” she screamed back, enraged, her face flushed red, her eyes glittering now with a fury he’d rarely seen in her.
He smiled. A slow, teasing, wicked grin that only fueled her rage as his gaze dropped down her body then back up.
“But, darlin’, ain’t that what we were talking about?”
Before she could do more than gasp he had her in his arms again, his lips covering hers, his tongue slipping past her lips to taste the wild anger and arousal pumping through her.
She didn’t think. She didn’t fear. He felt her hands grip his shoulders, her little nails pricking against his flesh as his hand moved beneath her shirt, to her thighs.
“Damn you,” he growled, lifting his head to stare into her dazed, stormy eyes as his palm cupped the hot flesh between her thighs, the heat of his flesh searing her even through her jeans. “I bet you’re wet, Kelly. So fucking wet it’s seeping through your panties.”
He pressed closer, feeling her hips buck at the pressure against her clit.
God, he wanted to strip her. He wanted to tear those clothes off her and lay her down on the closest available surface and devour her. He wanted to bury his lips between those perfect thighs, send his tongue searching through the silken folds of her pussy.
And she wanted it, too. She was pressing against his hand, her hips bucking into it as the heat of her filled his palm.
“Feel good?”
“I hate you,” she snapped, her breathing rough as a low whimper left her throat.
“No, you don’t.” He rotated his hand, watching her eyes flare, feeling the heat intensify against his palm. “You love me, Kelly, just like you love this. And you want more. Admit it, baby.”
Her thighs parted further as his fingers curved, massaging the sensitive flesh through her clothes.
“I want you, not a game,” she cried out, arching to her tiptoes, helpless against him. He liked her helpless against his touch, loved feeling the heat of her against his hand.
“And if the game comes with it?” He watched her intently, his eyes narrowed. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. And this is what it takes. I won’t let him catch us unprepared. I won’t let him touch you again.”
He released her slowly, hating letting her go as she stared back at him miserably.
“Think about that,” he whispered, keeping his voice gentle. “I hate it like hell, and no one wishes I could have seduced you more than I do. I would have loved seducing you, baby. But your safety is more important.”
“My safety?” she asked mockingly. “Or your desires?”
Anger flared inside him. “You know me better than that, Kelly.” He kept his jaw tensed, his tone of voice low. “Nothing matters as much as keeping you safe.”
“But only on your terms,” she pointed out, furious, causing him to pause. “On your terms and by your rules. Well, you know what, Rowdy, your rules suck. Maybe I need to decide if playing your game is worth the risk to my heart and to my safety.”