Three months later ...

Landon scowled and twisted the pack of cigarettes around in his hand. He sat at a plastic picnic table in the back yard of Pinewood Manor, an intensive rehab facility.

Intense, jesus. That word hadn't been strong enough, in his opinion.

He'd thought that by weaning himself off drugs and alcohol throughout his time in Thailand, he'd be able to handle rehab just fine. He hadn't used any drugs the entire time he'd been back in the states, so how hard could it be?

So fucking hard, was the correct answer.

They took his pain pills away, so when his arm throbbed, all he could think about was getting high. On anything. On everything. They told him he couldn't do drugs, which of course made him want to tell them all to fuck themselves. They told him when to get up, what chores to do, which classes to take, everything. They controlled everything, and he fucking hated that.

And that was the hard part for Landon. Rehab, for him, wouldn't be as much about the drugs as it would be about his own emotional issues. His control and anger issues, which were both completely out of control.

Thankfully, the staff at Pinewood had seen and dealt with the worst society had to offer. Landon certainly wasn't their toughest case, and as time went on, he began to realize just how spoiled he really was in his life. It was embarrassing, realizing he was throwing a temper tantrum over being told to do the dishes, meanwhile Betsy was a homeless fifty-seven year old heroin addict who gave blow jobs near freeway entrances in exchange for drugs.

After the night sweats and vomiting passed, and his group and solo therapy sessions started to help clear the fog in his brain, they allowed him to have visitors. He still wasn't ready to tell his parents everything, and he didn't really have any real friends. Velez was still on the run, he couldn't exactly call him.

Of course, the person he wanted to call the most, he couldn't call at all. She didn't want him to, and Landon's therapist agreed with her. It was a bad idea. Landon needed to learn that you didn't always get what you wanted.

So he had to settle for the second most important person in his life, and he'd asked his brother to visit.

Liam was wary of his brother and didn't trust this new venture at all. He'd heard Landon claim he was getting clean many a time, so why should this time be any different? On top of that, Landon was also pretty sure Liam would never forgive him for what he'd put Tori through.

Still, they were brothers, and twins, so as one month turned into two, and more family sessions were had, Liam started to come around. They talked about the past, about how they both felt about their families and their issues with them. Their issues with each other.

There was a heated exchange one week which almost ended in a brawl, with Liam accusing him of forcing him into the position of babysitter, as well as ruining his relationship with their parents. While Landon agreed with the babysitter point, he argued that Liam's issues with their parents were all his own. He was a big boy, he could hash it out with them – being a recovering drug addict didn't automatically make Landon a whipping boy.

After they were pulled apart and led into a private room, away from the rest of the patients and their families, they had a private session. Finally came to the understanding that really, their issues with their parents were mostly in their heads, and had mostly to do with each other. Their parents loved them both, doted on them both equally. They just interpreted their actions differently, projected their issues with each other onto the poor people.

Which led to a future family session with the elder Edenhoffs, themselves. Liam had come along for support, but it turned out it wasn't really necessary. Their mother cried and blamed herself a little, and their dad felt guilty that he hadn't noticed the signs, but they assured both their sons that they loved them no matter what. Doctor or not. Club owner or not. Drug addict or sex addict or not.

It all should have made Landon feel great. He was growing as a person in leaps and bounds. Talking about his feelings and his issues, instead of lashing out. Learning to express his emotions. He felt sharper than he had in years, healthier. He'd turned thirty-three on Valentine's Day, he was still in the prime of his life. He should've been happy.

But he wasn't.

His therapist had recommended keeping a journal, but there were limits to the things Landon was willing to do. He wasn't a diary kind of guy. So then the doctor had come up with the idea of writing letters. All the shit bouncing around in Landon's head, why didn't he write it all out to the people he was thinking about? Then, when he was done, he could choose whether to send the letter or keep it or burn it or save it. He could basically trick his brain into thinking he was actually talking to someone, and shockingly enough, it seemed to work.

His first letter was short, just a couple sentences. But eventually, they were full paragraphs. Full sheets of paper, front and back. Sometimes he'd write every day, sometimes he'd just get one done in a whole week. And every time he was finished, he put them in an envelope, and he wrote an address on the front of it. One address for every single letter, because they were all to the same person.

But he couldn't ever send them.

Tori had said she didn't want to speak to him. She didn't want to be his – what had she said? – his “neighborhood watch”, so he would respect her wishes.

But he couldn't keep them, either, he soon discovered. He put the first couple letters under his mattress, but his brain just kept thinking about them. So he finally started giving them to Liam. Asked him to hold onto them. Landon figured he could turn them into a goal – if he could stay sober for one year, then he could reopen them and read them back to himself. See if he was still the same man, see how far he'd come.

There was also another good thing to look forward to. Right after he'd checked in, Landon had called his old job. Spoken to the H.R. girl about the drug incident, then they both made calls to the California Medical Board. His license was immediately suspended and he was given a long list of everything he had to do in order to get it back. The rehab director promised to work on it with him, during and after his stay in the clinic – he would make it his mission to see Landon practice medicine again.

So after three months of therapy and groups and working hard to become the kind of man Tori Bellows would be proud of, Landon was done. They were signing his release papers and giving him the green light for society. This time next week, he would be a free man. Completely free, no halfway house, though it was strongly recommended he find an NA or AA group to attend once a week, and a therapist as well. But that was it. In one week, he could go home.

That is, if he could get Liam to agree to pick him up.

“Sorry!” his twin called out as he jogged across the yard. “Sorry I'm late, sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah, you say that every time,” Landon grumbled. Liam grinned big at him.

“Play nice, or I won't share with you,” he warned, holding up a bag.

“Is that ...?”

“Ayumi said I had to share, but what she doesn't know won't -”

Before Liam could finish, Landon snatched the bag out of his brother's hand and dug into it. Liam's girlfriend was an amazing cook, it turned out. Not as good as Katya Tocci, but Ayumi  could cook more diverse dishes, so she had that going for her. She made the absolute best chicken pad thai he'd ever had in his life.

“Does she come over and cook for you a lot?” Landon asked, pulling a Tupperware container out of the bag, along with some chopsticks.

“Why do you ask?” Liam returned his question as he sat down and grabbed some food for himself.

“Just wondering if she's gonna be over there all the time, making all this awesome shit,” Landon said, shoveling chicken and noodles into his mouth.

“About that ...” Liam's voice trailed off. When Landon looked up, it was to find his twin rubbing nervously at the back of his neck.

“What about that?” he asked, not liking the tone in his voice at all.

“She kinda cooks for me all the time.”

“Oh, that's good.”

“Like everyday.”

“Even better.”

“And night.”

“Jesus, I hope you pay her.”

“Well, I do let her live rent free.”

“Wait,” Landon shook his head. “I thought Wulf paid her rent. Is she not living with whatsherface anymore, Brighton Stone?”

“No. Brighton moved out of that apartment.”

“Oh. Nice of you to let Ayumi stay there for free, then.”

“I don't.”

“Liam,” Landon groaned. “I hope someday you have to deal with the shit I do in here. They make me get up at six in the morning, to pray. And then I have to clean the fucking bathroom, and then a million other things, till I can fall down and die around eleven at night, and then I have to do it all over again the next day. So just fucking spit it out.”

“Ayumi moved in with me.”

Well. Landon hadn't expected him to spit that out. He stared at his brother for a long second, counting to ten very slowly in his head.

“That's ... good,” he finally responded. Liam groaned and thunked his head to the table.

“I'm sorry, man. It just kinda happened. She was coming over after Brie would fall asleep, then getting up to go back early in the mornings, it was ridiculous. And Brighton's actually been better, showing up to classes, getting good grades. Then she decided she wanted to live with her big sister again, so she moved downstairs. We didn't even think about it – Ayumi had already sublet her house, so she just came over to my apartment,” he explained. Landon squeezed his eyes shut tight and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“That's awesome. I mean really, I'm glad you're doing well and you guys are going strong after all this time. But Liam, you knew this day was coming. You told me I could stay with you. My doctor and I both agree I shouldn't be at mom and dad's anymore. Now you tell me I can't stay with you, and I only have a week before I'm out of here. I need some place to go,” Landon said in a low voice. Liam nodded quickly.

“I know, I know that, and don't worry at all, I got you your own place.”

“I can't live alone right now, you know that, you were at the meeting. I'm sorry I'm a burden, really, I am, but I'm trying to do this right. If you couldn't do it, you should've told me you couldn't a long time ago. How am I supposed to find somewhere in a week and I -”

“You won't be alone,” Liam interrupted. “The apartment is at the Twin Estates, one opened up. Once of us will either be there with you, or right next door, the entire time. And you can come to the club, I'll give you a job until you get your license back. You can work downstairs, there's no alcohol down there.”

Landon scowled and stared off into the distance. He didn't like it. He'd never liked change, and now structure was the very foundation of his sobriety. Sure, Liam said someone would always be there, but that wasn't really true. At some point, Liam and Ayumi would want alone time, in their own space, in their own apartment. Some night, Landon would find himself all alone, and he'd start thinking about losing that boy in Colombia. About losing everything in Thailand. And then what? How hard would it be to walk out the door and get a drink? Get an ounce?

But when he looked back at his brother, there was so much love and trust and eagerness in his eyes, Landon couldn't turn him down. He heaved a deep sigh and nodded his head.

“Okay,” he said. “Okay, I'll try it out, but only if I can get a roommate. Maybe I can meet someone at a meeting, or find a sponsor who needs a place to live. If not, I'll have to find somewhere else to go.”

“Yes!” Liam pointed at him. “Yes, I think that's an excellent idea. Finding a roommate will be no problem. Yes, this is gonna be awesome.”

“Your definition of awesome and mine are very different,” Landon snorted, then he realized something. “Wait, did you say Brie moved downstairs with her sister Genevieve?”

“Yeah, why?”

Landon stared at his brother for a second.

“Then where's Tori?”

Tori had been living with the eldest Stone sister before she'd gone on Landon's vacation from hell. Had been living in the same apartment for several years, in fact. He couldn't imagine all three of them squeezing into the tight space.

“She, uh ... she got a new place,” Liam spoke in a low voice.

She wasn't a topic they avoided, mainly because she came up in therapy quite a bit, but she wasn't something they liked to delve into, either. She was very important to both of them for very different reasons, and they were both protective of her, for the those same different reasons. Shit got weird fast whenever she came up.

It hurt to know she wouldn't be there when Landon came back. He hadn't expected them to be friends, but knowing he'd get to catch glimpses of her, it had made the thought of moving back a little more bearable. Now she was who knew where, and he didn't expect anyone to tell him. It made him sad.

And based on the look on Liam's face, it made him even sadder. She'd been a good neighbor to him, a friend, and now that was gone, all thanks to Landon. So he sucked it up and decided to push past it. He started eating his food again and continued on with their conversation.

“So are you still gonna be able to pick me up next week, or have those plans changed, too?”

“Thursday,” Liam said around a mouthful of food. “Eight in the morning.”

“You have to use the lot across the street,” Landon reminded him. “I won't be a resident here anymore, and only approved guests of registered residents can enter the grounds.”

“Got it. The car will be outside, across the street, waiting.”

“It had better be,” Landon warned him. Liam laughed and went to say something back, but a little old lady wandered up to their table.

“Oh my, twins!” she exclaimed, clasping her hands together. Landon managed a tight smile for the octogenarian who came to visit her alcoholic granddaughter once a week. “You know, I myself am a twin! Esther's right over there!”

“Well, geez,” Liam said in a teasing voice as he glanced back at another old woman sitting at a table. “I guess we're not the cute twins anymore, huh, Lando?”

“Oh, stop,” the woman giggled. “Though I must say, if you had been born fifty years ago, kiddo, we'd have given you both a run for your money.”

“I do not doubt it one bit, ma'am,” Liam replied. “I think you're giving us a run for our money right now.”

“Silly boy. I dare say you're even more identical than my sister and I. So striking, the two of you. So handsome! I'm sure your mother is very proud of you both,” she insisted. Landon wanted to point out that considering they were having this conversation in a gated and locked rehab facility, the chances were good their mother wasn't proud of them.

But then he remembered that his mother was proud, and he wasn't an asshole anymore, and this woman was actually being very sweet.

There it is. It may be a small change for most people, but it's a big victory for me.

“Thank you, ma'am, she's very proud of us,” Landon assured her, his voice thick with emotion.

“And she should be,” Liam said loudly as he gestured across the table. “I mean, my brother's a doctor!”

Oh god.

“A doctor!” the woman gasped. “How lucky for you both!”

“Yes, and my brother owns his own successful business,” Landon replied. She beamed at them as if they were her own children.

“How wonderful to see two young, successful, handsome young men – brothers – getting along so well. It's really very special, I hope you know. I bet you're just the best of friends,” she sighed.

Landon glanced at Liam, at his mirror image, at the man who'd been there for him his entire life. His brother stared right back at him. Then a large grin spread across both their faces and for a split second, there was absolutely no way at all to tell them apart.

“Yeah,” Landon answered for them both. “Yeah, we are.”