All day people were in and out of the house to set up for the party. There were the caterers, the servers, the florists, a half-dozen bartenders setting up bars at different locations throughout the house, and a party planner and his team that oversaw everything. The backyard looked even more beautiful than before but now it seemed magical. Pink, purple and white lights lit up the entire back yard. It looked so romantic it made me wish I were a real guest with a real date.
Noah had a team of people to come in and do my hair and makeup. So at six o’clock, Mrs. Ross called up from the foyer. “Natalie, these people are here to help you get ready.”
I had not seen Noah all day. I inquired about him to Mrs. Ross. “He’ll be here in time for the party.” She said. I hated that she never told me if she knew where he was or not.
What did that mean? Did he walk in when all the guests were arriving or a few minutes before so he could greet his guests?
I felt excited and nervous all at once. I’ve never attended such a lavish party, and I never had a team of people helping me get ready. I couldn’t wait to wear the long white dress I bought. It hugged every curve of my body with a scoop neckline and spaghetti straps.
It was eight o’clock and I could hear the people arriving. The invitation said for seven thirty but no one ever wants to be the first guest. My stomach churned at the thought of entering this new world alone. I stayed in my room waiting for my nerves to subside. That never happened, so at half past eight I made my way downstairs.
I knew no one at the party, not personally, but many of the faces looked familiar from magazine covers and just from being famous. I recognized no one from the last party I attended and I knew Mr. Maas was never welcomed back.
As I walked through the crowds of people gathered in some small, some larger groups, I felt their eyes critiquing me. I walked over to the first bar I saw and asked for champagne. The bartender was young and good looking and he liked what he saw. He flirted with me which I welcomed since I was desperate to have someone to talk to.
I stepped away and continued to move through all the people gathered. I wished I would find Noah or at least he would find me. Then a thought occurred what if he had a date, again. If he invited a date, our relationship had progressed less than I thought.
There were many handsome faces eyeing me up and down so if Noah had a date I’m sure someone would latch on. Maybe this would be an opportunity to meet a nice single guy.
Just as I had that thought, a crowd of people cleared and there he stood, Noah Westlake looked sexy in a black cashmere v-neck and black wool pants.
He noticed me right away, and I watched as his eyes scanned by body up and down. Someone had his ear, but he left them mid-conversation and headed towards me. I couldn’t move. His hungry stare made by body turn to jelly. If I took a step, I’d fall.
People stopped conversing as they watched Noah stalk towards me. I realized before this moment no one knew who I was but now they were putting the pieces together. The way he looked at me told everyone, I was his.
He took in a deep breath as he stood only a few inches from me. “Natalie, you are stunning.” He leaned in and whispered in my ear.
I felt a rush of heat move over my skin. “Thank you. I was nervous, I wasn’t sure if my dress was appropriate for this party.” I said.
“That dress or should I say you in that dress is appropriate for any occasion.”
Oh, how I loved charming Noah Westlake. And, oh, how familiar I became with his mood swings.
“Let me introduce you to some people.”
“Noah, you don’t have to if you feel it will embarrass you. No one needs to know Erin’s nanny.”
“I think at this point I realize you’re more than that.” He placed his hand on the small of my back and stood close as we walked through the crowds of guests.
Along the way, he would stop and make quick introductions. I was Natalie, there was no other explanation given, and no one asked.
I became the center of his attention. He talked to me like his date rather than his employee. He whispered in my ear small details about some of the guests, pointed out the couples, those who hated each other, and the richest people in the room.
When alone, Noah treated me like his partner in life, confiding in me like I was his wife. But in the company of other’s he’d yet show this side of our relationship. Even Mrs. Ross was unaware of our intimacy.
I took his temperature. “Who are the eligible bachelors in the room?”
“There are many but only one for you.” His eyes deepened in color.
“Who is he?” I expected his answer before he said it but with Noah, I never knew for sure.
“Me.”
“What if one of them attempts to lure me in?” I asked.
“They won’t.” He said.
“How can you be sure?” I asked.
“Because I already pissed on all the trees.”
“You marked your territory.” I looked at him in disbelief.
He took a sip of his scotch and I inhaled, his heady scent made me ravenous. “Trust me, Natalie, every man and woman in this room knows who you're with tonight.” He placed his hand on my waist and pulled me into him. He then did the unexpected and kissed me in front of everyone. When he finished, he looked at me, “I think everyone knew you were my date tonight except you.”
“You might be correct,” I said. "I assumed your Russian girlfriend would be back or any of the many women you could have.”
“And why would I choose another…” He took another sip of scotch and gave me a devious smile, “when I only want you.”
I swallowed a sip of champagne like it was a golf ball.
“Do I make you nervous, Natalie.”
“No, oddly never, you are just unexpected.”
He looked at me with an understanding in his eyes. He knew what I meant and how his moods shifted. I accepted and enjoyed the good moods when they came and learned to ignore the cold, distant moods.
Later that night when all the guests and cleaning crew left his house, he and I sat together in the backyard. There were white leather couches brought in for the party so Noah and I snuggled together on one couch.
It was a mild evening, and the night felt peaceful.
We were both plied with alcohol so the expected happened… we were kissing. It started innocently with some small kisses and caresses but shifted to need, lust and want. I lifted Noah’s black cashmere sweater above his head and explored his chest with my mouth. Noah had other plans in mind. He took me by my ankles and pulled me down to the edge of the chaise part of the couch. He bent my knees and spread my legs. He rolled my dress up over my head and placed it under my head like a pillow. He slid off my panties, rolled them in a ball and brought them to his nose. He took a long inhale breathing in my scent then he placed them in his pants pocket. I felt so vulnerable as he stared at my wet folds. With no warning, he stuck his thumb inside of me while palming my clit. “Fuck my finger, Natalie.” He demanded.
I moved down on his hand. With his other hand, he palmed my breast and played with and pinched my nipple. He then pressed down on my stomach and the movement sent me over the edge. I moaned his name while milking his thumb.
Noah pushed down on his erection as if to control it. He unzipped his pants and stood over me. With one strong thrust, he entered me. He grabbed the back of the couch for leverage and pounded into me. My tits moved up and down with every thrust. I could feel his balls smacking my ass. “Natalie, look at me.”
I peered up at him. His eyes penetrated mine and never faltered not even as he came inside of me.
We stayed together on the couch holding each other into the early morning hours talking. He asked me a lot of questions about my family and boyfriends and why I never married. I confessed to him that a con artist fooled me; a con artist that took my money and left with a pile of debt.
Noah confessed he knew everything about my past before he hired me and he knew I wasn’t telling him the whole story. “Natalie, when you have the money I have you can find out anything. I know that asshole tried to kill you.”
My breath shuttered. “Why did you hire me? A con artist lured me into a relationship. I fell for it.” It was a humiliating time in my life and the reason I lost my job. My ex harassed me at work every day. The university felt I was a huge liability, and they feared I was a risk to the faculty and student’s safety. My friends all abandoned me and I couldn’t blame them. He was unhinged, capable of doing sick, horrific things.
“Not Stupid, trusting, and you know why I hired you.” Noah moved the hair resting on my cheek and tucked it behind my ear. “You trusted a man who took all your money and tried to kill you because you loved him.” Noah sat up. “You see Natalie, no one has ever loved me like that and the women in my past did not differ from your ex. They took from me, maybe not in such a criminal way as Sean…”
I cut Noah off mid-sentence. “You know his name?” I asked. It shocked me to hear Sean’s name uttered from Noah’s lips.
“Yes and I know that he is dead.”
Dead? “How do you know?” What was Noah saying?
“Like I said, Natalie, when you have the money I have you can find out anything.”
“So, you know how he died.” This moment felt surreal. I felt relieved and scared.
“He had a fatal accident. You shouldn’t concern yourself with the details, just know that scumbag will never bother you again.”
“Noah, did you have something to do with it?” I asked.
“Natalie, I never get my hands dirty, now, let’s go to sleep.” He stood and extended his hand to help me up.
My brain tried to process everything he said. Did Noah have something to do with this fatal accident? I felt vulnerable. This man knew so much about me but there was so much about him I didn’t know. Was he capable of harming someone? Was he a predator? Was he my predator? Was I repeating my past with Noah?
Then I thought back to that night when he called me to pick him up at the gentleman’s club. His hands bruised and bloody from a fight. Did he fight with Sean? How would he get to him or how did he lure him there? Did he kill him?
I peered up at Noah. “Noah, please tell me you didn’t kill Sean.”
“Do you wish he was still alive?” Noah’s jaw ticked.
“No. I’m relieved he’s dead. I just don’t want to think of you as a killer.” I stood up from the couch.
“Natalie, I did not kill Sean.” Noah wrapped his arms around me. “But he was a bad man, and it’s better that he no longer walks this earth. You were not the only girl he harmed.”
I reached for my throat as I thought back to that night when Sean tried to kill me. I needed to escape. I needed to breathe.
I pushed Noah away from me so I could catch my breath. I paced around taking in air attempting to take deeper breaths but my lungs wouldn’t allow it. Noah watched but said nothing. He waited for me to calm down then he took my hand.
“Natalie, please talk to me.”
“Noah, I’m so confused. You have me so confused.” My tears fell. “I understand none of this. Sometimes you are so caring and loving than other times you are cruel and hurtful, yet when another man hurts me, you…” I covered my mouth not wanting to say what I thought.
Noah stared at me but said nothing. I waited for an explanation but instead; he left me there and walked into the house. I stared at the back of the house and only moved when I saw his bedroom light go on. I tiptoed upstairs and went into my bedroom, locked the door then locked the door inside my room that led to Erin’s room. I slipped out of my dress and crawled into bed.
Noah left the next day saying nothing to me. I heard the front door close and he just never returned home. I pictured him running off to his Colorado home to think. I despised the way he dealt with his feelings but I couldn’t change him. I had to wait for him to come around and he did after days away.
By the second day of not hearing from him, I felt intense exhaustion and my body felt achy. Erin would be here in two days so I went to bed during the middle of the day hoping the rest would help.
“Natalie.” Her voice sounded far off. “Natalie, are you up here?”
I spoke, but I knew she couldn’t hear me. Maybe, she’d just go away. I wanted to be alone, please leave me alone. My bedroom door opened, and I cowered under the comforter.
“Natalie, you are here.” She came closer. “Is everything okay? Why are you still in bed?”
I stuck my head out from under the cover. “Hi, Mrs. Ross. I have a little cold. I’m just resting.”
Mrs. Ross stepped closer and reached her small bony hand out. The coldness of her skin against my forehead brought me some relief. “You’re burning up.”
She tucked my comforter in around me. “Natalie, I will call Noah. He needs to come home.”
“No, please don’t.” The last thing I wanted was Noah feeling obliged to come home because I had a little cold.
“Natalie, you’re burning up, you shouldn’t be alone and I can’t stay with you because I have to get home to my husband.”
Mrs. Ross’s husband had a heart attack a year ago that damaged eighty percent of his heart so she became his caretaker. “Mrs. Ross, I promise I’ll be okay. Please don’t call Noah.”
“Natalie, he’ll want to be here.”
“No, he won’t. Please! Just bring me some bottles of water before you go, please.” I begged her.
Mrs. Ross huffed as she left my room. A few minutes later, she came back with four large bottles of water and placed them on my nightstand.
“Natalie, I’m leaving but please call me if you need anything.” She looked around the room. She walked to the other side of my bed and grabbed my phone. “I put your phone next to the water. Please, don’t be stubborn, call me if you need anything.”
“I’ll be okay. I don’t feel that terrible.”
“Natalie, you’re an awful liar.” She rubbed my forehead and brushed strands of my hair off my face then left.
I covered myself from head to toe and drifted off to sleep.
I woke up, my sheets soaking wet, and I shivered. I stripped myself of my wet clothes and walked into the bathroom. I sat in the empty tub waiting for the hot water to cover me. My body shook until the hot water covered me up to my neck warming me from the outside in. Steam floated off the surface of the hot water as I sat back and closed my eyes and fell asleep.
“Natalie.”
I opened my eyes.
Noah knelt at the side of the tub, his fingers trailed through the water while his other hand rubbed my cheek. “Natalie. I need to get you out of the tub. The water is cooling.”
“You’re here. I told her…”
“Yes, I’m here and did you think Elaine would listen to you.”
I sat up and reached out my arms. Noah helped me stand then wrapped a towel around me and lifted me out of the tub like a rag doll.
“Noah, I need to change my sheets.”
“I’ll do that. I will put you in my bed.”
Carrying me, he walked out of the bathroom into my bedroom, out into the hallway and into his bedroom. He pulled back the covers, and he sat me on the side of his bed. He walked over to his armoire and pulled out sweatpants and a long sleeve t-shirt.
He dropped his clothes next to me and toweled me off. “Lift your arms.”
I did as he instructed and he put his shirt on me. Then he instructed me to stand. I stabilized myself by resting my hands on his shoulders while he bent in front of me directing my feet into the pant’s legs then pulled the sweats up to my waist.
I sat back down and he took the towel and dried the edges of my hairline. “Do you want to keep your hair tied up or let it down?”
“Down.”
Noah removed the hair tie from the bun on top of my head and my hair cascaded down over my shoulders. He looked at me then kissed my forehead. “You still have a fever. Get under the covers. I’ll be right back.”
I drifted off to sleep but awoke when I felt the bed sink and his arms were around me as he pulled me into his body. The warmth of his body lulled me into a deeper sleep.
I pried my eyes open as I heard his voice saying my name. He sat on the side of the bed wearing soft flannel pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt. Even in my sick state, he still made my mouth water. “Natalie, you need to eat and drink something. I brought you chicken soup.”
He propped pillows behind me and helped me sit up. A steaming bowl of chicken soup and a mug placed on a tray waited for me on the nightstand. “Where did you get the soup?”
“I made it.”
“No, you didn’t.” I didn’t believe him even though I knew Noah was a good cook.
“Natalie, it’s easy to make chicken soup.”
“You made this?” He placed the tray on my lap and the delicious smells seduced my taste buds. He handed me the soupspoon, and I scooped up the soup. I blew on the hot soup and brought it to my mouth. The hotness of the soup scratched at my chest from the inside.
“Good?” Noah watched me swallow my first spoonful.
“It’s delicious.” I took another spoonful but stopped midway. “Thank you, Noah. I’m sorry Mrs. Ross bothered you but I’m glad you’re here.”
“Natalie, I would do anything for you. Never think you’re a bother.”
“But…”
“No, stop, I would do anything for you. That’s all you need to know. Now, eat your soup, I’ll be right back.”
“Stay for a minute. I need to tell you something.”
Noah stayed and listened as I began my apology. “Noah, I’m sorry I pushed you away the night of the Fundraiser. Your life scares me sometimes, you scare me sometimes.”
Noah sat on the edge of the bed. “Natalie…”
“Let me finish.” I placed by hand in the air to still him. “Noah, even though, you keep so much from me, I know your life has not been easy, but neither was mine. Not only has my adult life been difficult but my childhood was just as trying. I don’t want to know what you did but I need you to know how thankful I am to you for caring for me the way you have.”
Noah pondered what I said before he responded. “Natalie, I wish I could be better for you and I’m trying but I’m glad you know that I care for you. I care for you more than myself.” He got to his feet seeming unsteady with what he revealed to me. “I need to put your bedding in the dryer. I’ll be right back. Eat.”
As soon as Noah left, I put down the spoon and cried. Why couldn’t he be like this all the time? After I let out a good cry, I ate my soup and sipped on my tea still pondering how wonderful it felt when Noah opened his heart to me.
Noah came back about twenty minutes later. “Open your mouth.” Noah stuck a thermometer under my tongue. It beeped, and he took it from my mouth. “102. I will get you some aspirin.” He went into his bathroom and came out with a bottle. I opened my hand, and he shook two aspirins into my palm. He handed me my tea, and I popped the aspirins in my mouth and swallowed them. “Now, lay back. Try to sleep.”
“What about you?”
“I will take the dishes down and clean up the kitchen then I’ll join you.”
“You don’t have to if you have other things to do.”
He kissed my forehead and tucked me in like I’ve seen him do to Erin dozens of times.
I woke again but this time Noah sat up in bed reading but now he was naked. At least he had no shirt on. I lifted the comforter. He had no pants on either but he wore boxer briefs. He looked over at me with a devilish grin. “What?” he asked.
“What happened to your clothes? Not that I mind that you’re laying naked next to me.”
“Your little feverish body was like a furnace while you slept. I was hot.”
“Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. How are you feeling?”
“I feel a chill. I think I need another bath.”
“I’ll run it for you.” Noah placed his book on the table next to his bed, stood up and walked into his bathroom.
I listened as the water gushed out hitting the tub. I expected none of this. I knew he was a loving father, and he cared for me monetarily but this shocked me. I felt sad as I thought about how disappointed he must have been when he married a woman like Erin’s mother. Noah was caring, and protective of his daughter and then I realized he was protective of me. He wasn’t a predator. He wanted to make sure Sean could never hurt me again. I understood a little more about this man but we still had a long way to go. It would take time to move past the hurt he’d caused me with his whores and the walls he put up but I could be more empathetic towards him.
Noah came back out and helped me out of bed. I walked in his bathroom and my mouth dropped open. “This is the first time I’m seeing your bathroom. It’s huge.” Marble covered every surface, the shower at a quick glance had a dozen showerheads, and the tub looked more like a tiny pool. There was a little sitting area in front of a row of windows. The same windows where Noah stood staring down at me the first day we met.
Noah stripped me of my clothes. Then he took off his underwear, stepped in and held his hand out for me to join him.
“This a nice surprise.” I expressed.
“You didn’t think I’d let this opportunity pass me by. Sick or not, I welcome every moment I can be naked with you.”
Noah sat down in the hot water and I followed him. He positioned himself against the wall of the tub, reached out, grabbed me by my waist and pulled me into his lap. He separated his legs, and I sunk in between them, and I rested my back on his chest. He brought his knees up and I wrapped my arms around the outside of his thighs. I wanted to stay like this forever.
He roamed his hands over my skin as I sunk deeper into his body. I could feel his erection growing up against my lower back. Even in my sick state, I wanted him and he wanted me. There was silence except for the trickling of water as Noah drifted his hands through the water stroking my body. My body relaxed and sleep took over.
Barely awake, Noah lifted me from the tub, wrapped a towel around me and placed me on the couch in his bathroom. He stepped out and returned with fresh clothes for me to wear. He dressed me then carried me back to his bed.
That night and the night following, I slept with Noah in his bed. Sunday night when Erin arrived, Noah greeted her while I slept. He came back to bed around eleven and I asked him if I should return to my room since Erin was here. He answered with a simple no then wrapped his arms around me and fell asleep. His steady warm breath swirled around my ear and I savored the closeness.
I woke first but instead of getting out of bed, I nested deeper under the covers. Seconds later, Noah followed. He rubbed his morning erection on the side of my thigh. I coiled into him and buried my head into his neck trailing light kisses on his skin. Noah reached his arms around me and kneaded my behind. He moved his hand off my behind and slipped his fingers between my legs. He placed two fingers inside of me and moved them in and out. “You’re so wet for me.”
I eased onto my back and let him cover me with his body. I lifted my hands over my head and he intertwined his fingers in mine. My legs opened for him and my hips invited him to enter, he pushed his erection inside of me. Our hands locked together above our heads while the weight of his body controlled the situation. Every thrust had our bodies moving like an ocean’s wave, Noah pushed my body into the bed and my body followed his current. We flowed in time with each other until the wave crashed and pure pleasure rolled over us.
We lay there quiet in each other’s arms until Noah spoke. “I wish it could always be like this.”
“It can be.” I knew somewhere in his soul, he felt it couldn’t.
“It can’t. There is a monster in me and I don’t know how to bury it.”
“Maybe we can't bury it but we can silence it. Noah, I need you. I’m in love with you.”
I thought he’d remain silent as he had in the past when I revealed such an intimate thought to him but instead he spoke. “You need to stop saying that. You should have known better than to fall in love with me. I thought you were smarter than that.”
“But sometimes you are so kind.” Pain touched all my nerve endings.
“Kindness is not love. I can care about you and your welfare but get love out of your head. I don’t believe in love.”
Noah ended the conversation by leaving me in bed. “I’ll take care of Erin this morning. Shower and come down when you feel up to it.”
Then he left.