I lean against the wall, wondering what the hell just happened.

Noah kissed me. I mean, really kissed me.

And I kissed him back.

Damn that was a good kiss.

A kiss that should never have happened. I don’t know what came over me, but I couldn’t stop myself. I needed to kiss him more than I cared about self-preservation. I barely know the man, but it’s as if we’ve been friends forever.

There’s this thing . . . this stupid thing that is going to fuck everything up if I let it happen again.

It won’t. I won’t let it because I’m in no place to bring another set of issues into my chaotic life. Jesus, how dumb can I be? I’m in the process of finalizing a divorce, a single mom, and I’m assigned to write about him.

After I’m sure I won’t look like a giraffe learning to walk after the kiss of a lifetime, I find my way into the kitchen to pour a much-needed glass of wine. My deadline is Monday morning, and I’m way too keyed up to sleep, so I change into my comfy clothes and turn on my laptop.

The Word doc comes to life, I press play on the recorder, let my fingers hover over the keyboard, and start to get a rough draft going.

I mentally giggle about the title, knowing he’ll get the inside joke.

---

Noah Frazier, one of the leading men on A Thin Blue Line, which aired its series finale in late April, is undoubtedly a fan favorite. His character, the charming, broken-hearted, and endearing Officer Writt has been winning hearts for seven seasons. After we, here at Celebaholic, got a chance for an exclusive interview, we aren’t surprised why. He’s funny, sweet, and sexy as hell, but what sets Mr. Frazier apart is his down-to-earth attitude.

During our talk, we learned a little about his aspirations for the future, but more importantly, we asked if there’s a special someone he’s after. That seems to be the burning question on every single, and many married, women’s minds.

Sitting in a local pub in Tampa, Noah spent a few hours chatting and giving me the answers we’ve been dying to know.

I put the tape on and start transcribing.

Noah’s voice is low, and knowing what I know, I hear the double meaning. I write the responses regarding his work, what it was like to be nominated for an Emmy, and how his ultimate goal is to become a producer.

Then I get to what readers really want—the dirt.

I can’t help the smile that forms. I can see his grin clear as day as he said that part. The way his green eyes were full of mischief.

My heart starts to race, and my throat goes dry. I’m the girl he’s talking about. I’m the girl that Noah Frazier has his sights set on, and I know what it feels like to be in his arms, touch his body. My lips tingle as I remember the way his mouth moved with mine, the mint taste on his tongue, and I have no idea what to do about any of that except stay away. Noah has no idea how damaged my heart is, and there isn’t a chance in hell that he’ll stick around if he catches a glimpse of it.

I lean back, close the laptop, and drain the remnants of my wine, already knowing there’s no way I can finish the article now. I have Noah on the brain. It’s been so long since anyone has looked at me like he does. Like I’m worth a damn. A man who has no business chasing a regular girl like me thinks I’m special.

No. I don’t believe it.

He can’t possibly want me for more than just a quick lay. I’m definitely not that kind of girl. I need more, I always have. The last thing I want is to be good, but not good enough for more.

I head to the bathroom to wash my face and get ready for bed. “What was I thinking?” I say aloud as I stare at my reflection. “You’re simple, frustrating, and couldn’t get things right, Kristin. You failed at keeping Scott happy. You’re worthless, just like he told you over and over.” Tears start to fall as Scott’s words fill my head. “You let yourself go. You used to be so pretty. Not tonight, I don’t feel like working that hard to get you to the end.”

There’s no way a man like Noah is going to stick around. I’d be a fool to think otherwise.

Last night was the worst night I’ve had since I left Scott. I cried myself to sleep, hearing fifteen years’ worth of put-downs.

Doubt is irrational and doesn’t care that the voice inside my head is from years of being with an unhappy man. I can tell myself that Scott used his insecurities on me so he felt better, but in the end, I’m not always strong enough to believe it.

Last night was one of them.

Now, in the mid-morning light, I know I was crazy to allow Scott to have that kind of power over me. His words are noise, and I’m going to drown it out with the positivity that lives inside me. Negativity is so much easier to believe, but I’m done with living in that hell.

I have a few hours before he’s due to drop the kids off, and I frantically start to clean just to prove him wrong. I’m a good mother, I can keep a tidy home, and I’m pretty.

A knock on the door startles me.

“Kristin, you home?” Danielle’s voice comes from the other side.

“Hey.” I smile as I pull it open.

She lifts a cup of coffee in her hand, and I want to kiss her. “You are the best friend a girl could have.”

Danni laughs and enters the house. “This place looks great, hun. You’ve done a great job of making it look different and yours.”

“You think?”

She nods. “I do.”

“Thanks.” I motion to the couch, and we both take a seat. “I’m trying.”

Danielle looks at her own cup and then back to me.

“You okay?” I ask.

“Scott told Peter something, and I went back and forth because Peter asked me not to repeat it, but fucking hell, you’re my best friend. I don’t care that they’re friends. It’s me and you against the world, right?”

My stomach clenches thinking this must be bad if Danielle is here at ten in the morning on a Sunday. Peter must have thought it was bad enough to repeat it as well.

“You’re scaring me a little.” I try to laugh but it sounds weird.

“Scott called Peter and told him that he has proof you’ve been having an affair.”

Okay, now I laugh. “What? An affair?” I shake my head at the idiocy. “How could I have time to have an affair when I was too busy being a shitty wife to him?”

She closes her eyes. “I guess last night—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” I get to my feet. “I was working! I had an interview. Noah is who I’m covering right now, and we had dinner for my article. Unbelievable.” I start to ramble because he’s ridiculous. “How does a dinner equal an affair?”

Danni puts her hands up. “Don’t shoot the messenger. I just know he’s going to be a prick and try to use this.”

Use this? Good God, he’s unreal. Then it hits me, the only person he could’ve heard this from is Jillian. “So, his assistant sees me not even twenty-four hours ago and calls him on a Sunday to let him know that I was out to dinner. She’s a very dedicated employee.” I spit the last word.

“I want you to be prepared, Kristin. He’s the guy who doesn’t want the cookie but doesn’t want anyone else to have it, either. I worry about you. I worry that he’s going to fuck with you if he suspects things. Peter and I got in a huge fight this morning when he told me. I went off about how Scott shouldn’t have a say in your life when he’s the one who asked for the divorce.”

I take her hand in mine and squeeze. She has no idea how much I appreciate her friendship. Peter and her relationship has been strenuous, and they’ve finally found a way to work through it. The fact that she’s fighting her husband for me is unfair.

“Please don’t do that. Don’t let your marriage get tangled in my divorce.”

She gives a sad smile. “We’re fine. He understands now that I hit him over the head with the truth. Peter and I think Scott is using him right now. He calls to get information that Peter doesn’t have, and he’s seeing it now. Then he told Peter that he was clearly under the web of lies you’ve been twisting to make us all think you’re the victim.”

“He is such a narcissist!” I groan. “How was I making a web of lies? What lies, Danni? That he probably cheated on me God knows how many times? Whatever, he wants a fight, I’m more than prepared for one.”

Scott could make me think I was crazy for thinking what he was doing was wrong. It was as if my questioning things meant I was delusional. I don’t know how he does it, but he can twist anything so that it’s someone else’s fault, spin a lie into a truth. I never saw it until I got out, but now that I have, it’s crystal fucking clear.

Danielle releases a loud breath through her nose, and I know this next part won’t be good. “You know Peter refused to take his case, but he wanted me to warn you that if Scott claims you were unfaithful during the marriage, it can affect custody, alimony, and child support.”

I’m not playing this game with him. “I was never unfaithful.”

“I know.”

“If he accuses me of this, I swear . . .” I trail off, not even sure what I’ll do. My lawyer is good, but I’m sure she’s no match for whatever he could afford.

I’m so fucked if he does this. Peter works for a top criminal defense law firm, but he came from family law when he was just starting. He’s represented a lot of athletes who have gotten themselves into sticky situations, and if he’s worried . . . I should be, too.

“Don’t show him your cards, Kristin. Don’t let him know you have a clue. This is what he wants.”

“I’m trying to be fair and get this over with! I want to be divorced already! I want my life back—without his voice in my head.”

Danielle squeezes my hand. “It’s time to play his game, but smarter.”

“How? I don’t think like that.”

She raises her brows. “It’s a good thing you have three best friends who have your back. You will not be alone with him. One of us will be here as a witness for any interaction you have, he doesn’t have a case if every aspect can be refuted.”

“This is crazy.”

She shakes her head. “No, honey, this is war.”