It was difficult to describe how close Ethan and I were. I don’t think either of us could have imagined life without the other, not fully. People used to call us the evil twins and jokingly say that we were joined at the hip. We would hang out with the same people and play in the same band. We listened to similar music, watched the same movies and it was as if nothing could tear us apart.

We supported each other when no one else would. We knew everything about each other. I don’t think we ever argued, even when we didn’t see eye to eye. I know that we had never spent longer than three days away from each other until it was time for us to go to college. That was when everything changed.

The summer filled us with a curious mixture of apprehension and expectation. We were both accepted to college, but we weren’t going together. For the first time in our lives, we were going separate ways. We spent weeks reassuring each other that we would keep in touch and, of course, spend our breaks together. Our moms still lived together. I looked forward to med school and making new friends, and Ethan was excited about seeing the world and his studies.

Each year since we were in our early teens, we went away together along with some other kids we knew. As we got older, we would go alone, no longer needing our moms to hold our hands. It was a two-week holiday in cabins in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nature and away from everyday distractions and problems.

Ethan and I would take long walks and take pictures of animals and plants we encountered. We would sit by the stream for hours talking about our hopes, dreams, and fears. We teased each other and laughed about our past.

He knew all my flaws, but they never seemed to bother him, and I would tease him from time to time about them. He had a kind heart and sensitive nature, which he sometimes covered by acting like a clown. That summer was pleasantly warm, but not so hot that we couldn’t enjoy it. The annual holiday passed way faster than we would have liked.

Days in the sun amongst nature and evenings by the fire, telling scary stories and anecdotes, drinking beer, and playing games. There were only two cabins there, so each of us shared a room with someone else. We always went for the boys-girls split, mostly out of habit. The last night of the trip came too soon and changed more than I could ever imagine…

We sat down by the fire as usual as we drank beer and started to play party games. We weren’t setting off home until the next day, so there was no rush to end the night early. Some of us began to crumble out into bed and only the hardcore night owls like Ethan and myself stayed around the fire.

One of our friends suggested that we play truth or dare. After a short debate, we agreed to give it a shot. We laughed as our friends squirmed with the questions and made fools out of themselves when dared. One of the boys, Jamie, ended up putting on my dress and dancing to music picked out by another guy while we recorded it, someone else had to pretend to make love to a nearby tree, some people exchanged awkward kisses and opened up about personal details when asked.

After a few rounds, Ethan and I were dared to kiss each other. My heart skipped a beat as I heard the dare. I’d had feelings for him for a while, but kept them locked away, I knew we were going to part soon, and I didn’t dare to lose the precious friendship we shared by telling him. We stared at each other in a moment of awkward hesitation before moving closer, and, to my surprise, he didn’t argue with the dare.

This wasn’t going to be our first kiss, but something had stopped us from going further with it. Ethan was the popular one. Girls loved his smoking blue eyes and dark hair. He wasn’t too dark, but had olive skin, and everything about him was different compared to the other guys. Including the fact that he was towering over six feet when he left school.

Guys loved him because he was funny. He loved pranks and could always tell a good joke and everyone enjoyed his antics. He played sports and studied hard; his best quality was that he was always trying to do his best to make people around him feel good about themselves. Which was a rare quality back in high school. Everyone was only worried about themselves. All the time.

I was quite well liked, but timid and quiet until I got comfortable around people. I didn’t like large groups and loud company.

That night, our lips touched, I could feel my head spinning as our tongues danced and my hidden feelings came to the surface with an unexpected force as his strong arms wrapped around my waist. Before I knew it, I put my arms around him.

It was as if there was so much chemistry between us. I’ve never experienced a kiss like that; it was as if he wanted me and only me at that moment in time. Our bodies were so close to each other that you wouldn’t be able to put a leaf between us. His lips were soft, and he tasted of beer and the boiled sweets we’d been snacking on, his chest felt strong and firm against mine and his embrace made me feel safer than ever.

I didn’t know how long we were lost in each other, but I could feel him bury his hand in my hair and his manhood firm against my hip. Everyone was quiet when we finally opened our eyes. I sheepishly looked into his eyes and saw that odd, passionate glimmer in them; he bit his lip, and I bit mine, before we turned to the rest of the group and laughed nervously. People laughed and clapped; some made a few joking comments about us getting carried away, and we laughed them off as we returned to our respective seats.

We sat back down, and I heard my phone buzz. I glanced at it to see a message from Ethan as he put his arm around me in a reassuring way. He was asking whether we should disappear into his room. We stayed around the fire for a few more minutes, and then awkwardly made our excuses.

My heart was racing, as I had no idea what was going to happen, and all I knew was that I wanted to be alone with him and away from the curious eyes of our friends. We held hands as we slowly walked to his cabin and made our way up the stairs and into his room.