I walked past reception and clocked in for my shift. Lisa, one of the nurses, approached me. She looked a bit uncomfortable, then cleared her throat.

“Your mom is in the ICU with Mr. Stone. He’s been saying your name quite a bit…” she told me.

I felt my body stiffen. I inclined my head to her.

“Thanks, Lisa, I’d better go and check on my patients. I’m pretty sure Mr. Stone has enough visitors without me,” I told her as I forced a smile.

She shook her head slowly. “Not really…the only person I’ve seen since he was admitted is your mom,” she said.

I couldn’t help but fucking wonder at that. That didn’t seem likely at all. While Ethan and I avoided each other like hellfire, my mom always kept tabs on how he was doing. I knew he had a whole bunch of friends and that his career was a rather successful one.

My mom had told me many times that he was out with friends or Claire and he were somewhere on holiday. Then again, she traveled for work and pleasure on a fairly regular basis. I didn’t want to think about her.

I didn’t want to think about Ethan; I wanted to get away from the last couple of days, not to have to deal with it all. I hoped that my shift would keep me occupied, but things were quiet, and it allowed my mind to wander into the corners I didn’t want it wandering into.

Memories came and went at their leisure, which was both irritating and frustrating at the same time. I thought back to the last time I’d seen Ethan. It must have been at Laura’s funeral a couple of years ago.

She’d fallen ill about four years ago. The cancer came and went, then returned and eventually took her life. At first, I tried to be there for Ethan, but he’d made it clear that he got enough support from his friends and fiancée. I’d met Claire for the first time the last Christmas before Laura passed away. She was beautiful and glamorous.

She talked with a flowing accent, and I found the pitch of her voice slightly irritating. She was crazy about Ethan, and he seemed head over heels in love with her. I was happy for him, but it hurt to see them together. Seeing him shower her with gifts, attention, and affection I could never even hope for from him.

I remembered lying awake that night and wondering what it was about her that made him love her so much?

What was it that she said or did that I hadn’t?

Was she better than me?

I hadn't mentioned Ethan’s name to anyone other than my mom in passing and Mia over all these years. Why was he on my mind all of a sudden? My mind drifted back to the last time I saw him at all… Laura’s funeral. I remember tears rolling down his cheeks and his shoulders shaking as he sobbed.

Claire kept putting her hand on his shoulder reassuringly, I wanted to be the one to comfort him, but I couldn’t be. Claire’s place was by his side; mine was away in the shadows, somewhere they couldn’t see me, somewhere I couldn’t see them.

No matter how glad I was to know he was doing well and he was happy, I felt replaced and hurt; I couldn’t watch them and not feel like I’d missed out on happiness I would possibly never know. I hadn’t seriously dated since Ethan; at first, I couldn’t stand the thought of being with anyone other than him.

Then my studies and career took the most important place in my life and all the people who I considered seeing seemed to fade in comparison to my former best friend.

I avoided the Intensive Care Unit. Part of me wanted to rush to his side, but the bigger, more logical, part wouldn’t let me allow him to hurt me again. Didn’t want to see her there, by his side, holding his hand, and I knew that if I went to see him once, I wouldn’t be able to go back to pretending he wasn’t there, pretending he didn’t exist anywhere in my world.

Like he only existed for the few hours we had to spend in our family home each year. There was no place for me in his life, why should there be a place for him in mine? I felt anger swell up in me as I walked through the hallways of the hospital, desperately trying to find something for my mind to focus on.

I gritted my teeth and kept myself as busy as I could until my lunch break. Sadly, not long after my lunch started, I realized that I needed to drop off some forms for the ICU nurses, so, unable to find anyone else who was able and willing to do this for me, I gritted my teeth and headed for the unit.

As I crossed the unit, I caught sight of my mom; she was sitting by one of the beds, reading a magazine and glancing at the man on the bed now and then. I tried walking past unnoticed, but, as I was on my way back out, I saw her call me over with a gesture.

“Shit,” I swore under my breath. There was no way for me to get away now. I frantically checked my pager, almost hoping for an emergency.

My pager remained silent and, with a small sigh of resignation, I walked over to my mom. She put her magazine down and pulled a chair closer for me. I focused my attention on her, avoiding looking at Ethan. She stood up, smoothed his covers, and briefly stroked the back of his hand.

“His meds just kicked in,” she told me softly as she sat back down.

I idly checked his chart; by knowing his meds, I knew he wouldn’t be awake for a while. It was oddly comforting, as at least I knew that I wouldn't have to speak to him, wouldn’t have to face him... wouldn’t have to deal with the new situation.

“The doctor said he needs to rest for now and that we won’t know the damage until he’s a bit stronger. He’s not conscious much,” she added. She looked tired, and her eyes were puffy. I knew she cared about Ethan a lot; she kept close to both of us, regardless where life took us. I took a long, deep breath.

“From what I can see, yeah, we need him fully conscious before we can assess his movement. By the looks of it, there are some tests still in the lab, so until we get the results from those, I won’t be able to tell you much more,” I replied awkwardly and looked around; there were no flowers or cards.

While our ICU only allowed one or two visitors at a time, we did allow visitors… There was no indication that anyone other than my mom had visited him at all or even bothered to check whether they were allowed to. I frowned and sat down next to my mom, trying not to wonder why no one had come to see him.

“I called Claire, but she said she’s got no reason to be here. I think something must have gone wrong between the two of them,” she told me in the same quiet voice.

I shrugged. I didn’t want to hear it. Ethan’s life had nothing to do with me anymore. No matter how much I missed him. I looked around and cleared my throat.

“I wouldn’t know about that, Mom, you know I don’t speak to him much. Have any of his friends dropped by?” I asked quickly, trying to change the subject.

My mom stared at me for a moment before her gaze narrowed. “No,” she replied shortly.

I bit my lip, I knew I should be more interested in Ethan’s life, but I couldn’t allow myself to be. I didn’t even want to look at him, lying there in that hospital bed; I glanced away instinctively every time my eyes wandered toward him. By the look on my mom’s face, I knew she’d wanted to say something for a while, but kept hesitating. Finally, she let out a long sigh and looked straight at me.

“I love that boy as if he were my own, Opal. I have spoken to him quite often. He doesn’t seem to have that many friends, not real ones, you know? Close ones, like you two were when you were younger,” she told me slowly.

I looked away again, I’d never spoken to my mom about Ethan and me, and why things had changed between us. I’d always thought she just assumed we drifted apart through college and our respective careers. After all, we no longer shared a house, a school, or a circle of friends.

I no longer sang or played music. On the outside, it could probably just seem like we outgrew our bond and lost most common ground, as it sometimes happens. My mom adjusted his bedding once more and looked at him for a long while before glancing at me again.

“I know Ethan hasn’t been fair to you, I know he let his emotions and his flaws get the better of him, but this isn’t the time to hold grudges. He needs you,” she told me as she touched Ethan’s cheek affectionately.

My heart stopped. Had Ethan told her anything about the night everything changed?

“I don’t know how much he told you, Mom, and I’d rather not talk about it right now,” I told her, trying to keep as calm as I possibly could.

She narrowed her eyes at me in a familiar way before she shook her head. I braced myself, knowing that she was about to tell me off, or maybe even yell at me. No matter how old I was and how much I achieved, that look always made me feel like a little girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“You can’t run from this one, Opal. This is as good a time as any other, and there is no way of putting it off anymore. Both Ethan and I need you right now; we need your support. I don’t know how things are going to go for him and he needs more than a surrogate mom around to help him get back on his feet.

“His fiancée is nowhere to be seen; his supposed friends haven’t even sent a damn card. What else would it take for you to forgive him?” she spoke fast, but didn’t raise her voice.

I chewed on her question, trying to figure out the answer myself, but, before I could find one, she carried on.

“I know his jealousy was misplaced; he should have supported your ambitions, not begrudged them. I’m not debating that, you have the right to be bitter about the way he treated you due to what you wanted out of life and your career.

“You worked hard for it, and he should have appreciated it, he should have been happy for you. I don’t agree with the fact that he cut you off just because he couldn’t stand the fact that you were more focused and hardworking than he was at the time, and I don’t think it was right for him to ridicule and belittle your dreams.

“But times have changed, he has changed, he might not have said it in so many words, but I know he regrets the way he treated you and misses your friendship, misses you. You two deserve a chance at patching things up. For your benefit and his.”

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Ethan hadn’t said a word about our night together. He took the fall; he took the entire blame for our fallout and the last eight years onto himself. I couldn’t help but feel the sting of hurt and admiration as it dawned on me how much he’d protected me and my good name.

I sat there with my mind swinging back and forth between wanting to forgive him because of the lengths he went to protecting me, being hurt from the years past, and feeling desperation to see him back on his feet. My mom sighed and slowly stood up.

“Stay with him for a bit, I’m going to stretch my legs and get some coffee. I’ll pick you up something to eat while I’m at it,” she told me as she dug through her purse for her wallet.

I glanced at her and nodded, preoccupied with my thoughts. I stayed frozen in my spot for a few seconds after she left. My mind raced as I processed what had just been revealed. I glanced at Ethan again as I debated my options; part of me wanted to leave the room and never come back. It seemed like the simplest way of handling the situation, by just not dealing with it.

I knew, however, that my mom was right. Ethan’s accident was going to affect her and, therefore, me. It was going to affect our lives either way, and Ethan did need all the support he could get.

He needed my mom, and he needed me, perhaps more than he ever had before. I didn’t know what had happened with Claire, but I knew we couldn’t count on her anymore. This had to be dealt with my mom’s way, as family. Finally, I mustered the courage to look at Ethan properly.

I slowly made my way to his bedside and, taking a long, deep breath, I finally allowed my eyes to wander to his face. Praying that he didn’t stir or wake up until I was fully ready to face him, I gently rested on the side of his bed. His face was still swollen from his injury, and his skin was pale and covered in sweat. I glanced at his soft brown locks spilling on the pillow around him; memories flooded me again, me teasing him about his girly hair.

I shook my head and returned my gaze to his face. He hadn’t seemed to change much after we parted ways for college, then again, he never did. Not that I’d had a chance to look at him all that closely in the years had that passed.

His skin still seemed as smooth. His eyes were closed, but I could still see his impressively long and thick eyelashes. My gaze dropped to his full lips, and the firm jawline dusted with a few days’ worth of stubble poking from the sides of a well-groomed goatee, and down to his neck and shoulders. I involuntarily smiled at a thin scar on his upper arm, remembering the day he’d gotten it on our hiking trip. Without fully registering what I was doing, I moved my chair closer to his bed and took his hand into mine.

It felt cold and limp. He looked helpless and weak. I felt the wall I’d built around myself for protection melt as I realized that all I wanted was to make sure he recovered fully. My mom was right, no matter how badly I wanted to hide from all this, I couldn’t. I couldn’t throw all the years of friendship out of the window.

Ethan needed me, and I had to be here for him. Something else stirred in my chest, but I shook it off. I missed my best friend, and, while I couldn’t make up for the lost time, I could make sure that we didn’t lose any more of it.