“You go all out, don’t you?” I whistle low before tossing Parker’s brand-new bike into the back of the truck. It looks too shiny and perfect. A good bike is one that’s been with you through many an adventure and has the scars to prove it, as evidenced by mine, thick with scratches and so much mud caked in its various crevices that it will never be totally clean again.

I see him cringe at my rough treatment of his baby. If he thinks that’s bad, he’s never going to make it out on the trail.

“I wanted to make sure I had the proper equipment,” he says defensively.

“You two have fun,” Ben says as he clomps down the stairs, gym bag in hand. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“That’s going to be impossible since there’s no way you’d go mountain biking,” Parker throws back at him.

“Touché.” Ben turns to me before heading to his car. “Mal, watch out for my boy here. I don’t have time to find a new roommate.”

I salute in response. If my interactions with Ben from this point forward are going to have that kind of “bro” vibe to them, I think I’ll be avoiding Ben as much as possible. It’s not that it bugs me when he does it, but it feels wrong when it’s directed at me.

We follow Ben out of the apartment parking lot, but where he turns south, we head north. It’s a short drive to the Blue Sky trail, and not ten minutes later we’re already unloading our bikes and gearing up. Parker has a pair of gloves, which I’m sure he’s going to be grateful for, especially since I forgot to mention it. Upsales at the bike store aren’t always a bad thing, although I think the fancy bottle holder they installed on his bike is a little much. I have a fanny pack, yes a fanny pack, with a water pouch. I’ve had too many tire and chain near-casualties, as well as human near-casualties, to go without water, phone, and a mini first aid for bikes and humans.

Parker bounces on the balls of his feet, eyes darting everywhere, trying to take it all in.

“Are you ready, BoomBoom? If we don’t get going soon, I’m going to have to re-nickname you Pogo.” I try not to laugh at his excitement. I don’t even remember my first trail run, but I remember my first time kayaking, and I was a bundle of nervous energy then too.

“I’ve been ready. Just waiting on you.” He says it with such an intense look in his eyes that I’m wondering if we’re even talking about the same thing.

“Well, some of us don’t have brand-new bikes,” I say as if I hadn’t noticed the strange vibe passing between us. “And I have to make sure my baby is ready.”

The trail starts out flat as we make our way to and around the first hill, and we start at an easy pace. I only need eyes to know that Parker is in fantastic shape. I was totally right about that ass on a bike. But this kind of physical activity calls on different muscles than a bike in a gym, and I don’t want him to regret any part of our outing.

“Weren’t you saying something about ugly dead grass in Oklahoma?” Parker asks with an eye on our surroundings, which at the moment happens to be a valley of dead grass covered in patches of snow.

“Oh, look at who’s decided to be a sassypants. The grass here is dead because of this beautiful stuff we call snow, brought to us courtesy of these things we call seasons. You might not be familiar with either of them, where you come from, but I’m more than happy to introduce you.”

Parker laughs as he speeds up and slows down, repeating the process while switching gears and getting a feel for his new bike.

“This is a pretty easy trail, but there are a few tricky spots, so don’t get too far ahead,” I say where Parker can hear me from several yards away. “We’ll be on the ridge for a large part of it, so even though the surface is pretty even, you still have to watch your speed and your grip.”

Parker is focused on his feet, still trying to find a gear and cadence that feels right to him. I’m focused on Parker, not just enjoying the impressive view that I get from behind, but making sure he’s hitting the curves right and not slipping up.

About twenty minutes into the ride, we round the last hill that faces the eastern valley and cross over to the western-facing side. I yell for Parker to stop, because at this point, you can see for miles across Horsetooth Reservoir, and it’s a gorgeous view. We’ve only been going for a few miles, but the air is dry and Parker is a beginner, so I use this stop as a water break.

We’re only about a quarter of the way through, and although it’s not as muddy as I feared it might be, the worst of the uphill is still to come. The trails themselves have enough traffic to be clear of leftover snow, but that can often make the mud problem worse. I’m thankful that’s not the case today, although I think with the way Parker’s taking to it, he’d probably enjoy a bit of mudding.

As we start back up, some of the more challenging terrain requires greater concentration. This is where I find my zen, pushing my body while being out in nature; it’s the perfect combination for me. It’s the cure for a bad day. A way to motivate myself to carry on when shit gets tough. And a reminder that I’m strong – if a mountain or a river, a literal force of nature, can’t beat me, then Ryan fucking Miller sure as fuck can’t.

I can tell by the look on Parker’s face that he feels the same way. His cheeks are pink, whether from exhilaration or the wind and cold, but the spark in his eyes is pure joy. I gave that to him, and I want to shout it to the world. There will be time for that on the downhills, though.

There are a few steep climbs in this section, to get to where the trail meets a different one. We’re going out and back this time, but based on how he’s taking to it, I have no doubt that he’ll be back for more, and chomping to try the longer and tougher trails.

Only at one spot, where the climb is a little rocky instead of the relatively smooth surface that the rest of the trail is blessed with, does Parker run into a little trouble. About halfway up the climb, he starts to spin out.

“Shift to a higher gear! Come on, mash it!” I yell, hoping it will power him through all those slippery obstacles. It works, and soon he’s back in the groove.

We finally get to the end of the Blue Sky trail, and this is my absolute favorite spot of the entire trail, maybe even of all the trails in the area. Devil’s Backbone, an enormous ridge that looks like it was punched up from the earth, appears to the south, and you can see the colorful striations in the rock along the ridge. It slopes into a vast valley below that stretches for miles, with more mountains in the distance.

Parker’s mouth hangs open as he takes it all in.

“Selfie time,” I say, and pull my phone out of my fanny pack.

“Can I leave my helmet on?” Parker asks.

“Aww, worried about helmet hair?” I tease him.

We’re both dripping with sweat, and he unzips his jacket just a bit to cool off.

“Come on, I want to see your face,” I urge, and although he complies, he makes a really big deal out of it.

I scrub my hands along his hair until it’s so ruffled he looks like he stuck his finger in a socket. Perfect. I pull the phone up, adjusting so that we can see the ridge in the background, and he sees his hair in the screen. For our first picture, he has his mouth pursed mid-protest and a hand halfway in front of his face. I roll my eyes, but let him use the camera to fix the mess. This is why I pull mine into a ponytail. When it’s to his satisfaction, we retake the picture, and one more where I surprise him with a kiss to his cheek. That one’s going to be my phone background.

We drink more water and settle back onto our bikes, with our helmets, gloves, and fanny pack firmly in place.

“Are you ready?”

“It hasn’t been that hard, really.”

“I’m not talking difficulty. I’m asking if you’re ready to fly, baby. Because it’s a roller coaster ride from here on.”

The grin that overtakes his face is what I’ve been waiting for. Now it gets fun.

This time I take the lead, and I’ll admit, but not to him, that part of it is so he won’t lose control on some of the faster turns. I wasn’t kidding about the ridge, and it’s a serious drop. I really don’t want to kill Parker on our second date.

We start back down and pick up speed. At one point, where the trail is hilly and fast, the kind that makes your stomach drop like a carnival ride, I hear Parker whooping behind me. I let a laugh ring out across the ridge. I’d forgotten how much fun it was to ride with others.

My calves burn toward the end. They’ve been overused, as I don’t just pump my legs but maneuver my entire body on pedals to take advantage of the momentum. Sweat drips into my eyes and makes them burn, but I can’t wipe it away and risk losing control. Finally the ground levels out, signaling that we’re almost back to the parking lot.

Parker babbles on and on about what he saw, what he did, how amazing it all was, until we get back to the truck, and even then, he doesn’t let up while we load up our bikes. No sooner than I slam the tailgate into place, two arms slip around my waist.

“I’m sweaty,” I try to protest while Parker’s nose nudges behind my ear.

“Mmm, I don’t care.” He dots kisses from my ear down my neck. “Thank you for giving me that.”

I turn in his arms and press my lips to his. I wish I could give you everything. I can’t say it. It’s too soon, but I tell him with my mouth instead.

“What are you doing tonight?” he murmurs against my lips when I finally pull back for breath. “I want to take you out to dinner.”

“Other than needing to run home for a shower, I’m all yours.”

He kisses me again, short but soft flutters. “Perfect. Bring a bag with you when you come back this evening? That way I won’t have to worry about you driving back so late.”

I smile against his lips. “My, my, but what would Ben think?”

Parker puts enough space between us to make me uncomfortable. I already miss his warmth.

“I know I should have talked to you first, but I kind of already told Ben.” My legs are already jittery from the bike, but that sentence almost does me in. Parker already looked contrite, but at my surprise, now he also looks panicked. “Please don’t be upset.”

“Oh, hon, I’m not upset. I’m in shock. You told Ben? Everything?”

He nods, fiddling with his jacket zipper and avoiding eye contact.

I grab his jaw and force him to look at me. “I’m really not upset. But this is huge. Are you okay?”

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’ve lived the last, how old are you?” I realize I should have known this fact earlier, but it’s kind of exciting knowing that there are things we still need to learn about each other. That means lots more time together, and I’m all for that.

“Twenty-seven.”

“Because you’ve lived the last twenty-seven years of your life believing one thing about yourself, which has now been turned on its head, and you’re so casual about it.”

“I’m anything but casual. But I’m not ashamed of being with you. Or liking you. I spent too many years letting other people dictate everything about me, and it wouldn’t be right to do that to you.”

I will not let him see me cry, so I bring his face down to mine again for another kiss. This one is fiercer than the others because there are too many emotions swirling around inside me and this is the only way I know to let them out. Fingertips brush away my tears, because of course, I couldn’t fool him.

“Come on,” Parker whispers. “The sooner we get going, the sooner we get to start our date tonight.”

I reluctantly separate and head toward the driver’s side. Parker settles into the cab beside me and clicks his seat belt into place with a wide smile. “So, when can we go again? Next Saturday?”

I’ve created a monster.