“If Craig is your gay Obi-Wan, then I’m your gay Yoda.”

This is the first thing I hear upon entering my old apartment.

Craig stands with his hand on the door, shaking his head fondly as Mal and I shuffle past him into the hallway. A quick peek into the living room confirms my suspicions about what is going on﹘Ben leans over the back of the couch where Kieran sits, totally invading his personal space.

“This is the app you want,” Ben says, his arm thrown across Kieran’s shoulder, pointing at something on his phone. “You don’t want that one unless you want to turn into Crach and find someone to cuddle and have meaningful conversations with.”

“Yes!” Mal shouts from beside me, making me jump. “Crach became a thing. I so started that.”

“Crach is not a thing,” Zach deadpans from a red futon that’s a new addition to the living room. Soda cans are littered along with game controllers on the coffee table. It looks like they’re in for a night of hanging out.

Ben grins and straightens up to give Mal a high five. “It’s totally a thing,” he stage-whispers.

Zach stands, arms outstretched, and I embrace him in a hug.

“It’s good to see you, man.”

“You too,” Zach says, and leads me back over to the futon to talk. “How’s your mom?”

I sit down gingerly. My ass has been screaming at me about my morning with Mal the whole drive back to Fort Collins, but damn. So worth it.

Craig and Mal, who notices my wincing with a proud smirk, join Kieran on the couch. Ben remains standing, still hovering as quietly as Ben can, over Kieran’s phone.

“It’s been strange. I’m never sure if what she says is her true feelings or the disease. Like, never in a million years would I imagine my mom supporting my relationship with Mal or encouraging me to go after them.”

Craig’s soda can drops to the coffee table with a clank. “Wait. You two are together?” He looks back and forth from me to Mal.

Ben stands and throws his arms into the air. “Parker, how could you keep this from me? I thought we were like brothers.”

Craig rolls his eyes. “So Ben already knew. But you don’t look too surprised either, Zach.”

“Well, Parker’s moony eyes whenever he looks at Mal aren’t exactly subtle.”

“Are you saying I’m unobservant?” Craig says with heat pointed directly at Zach. “Because I might have to remind you later on just how observant I can be.”

“Yes, please,” Zach squeaks, then ducks his face into his turtleneck.

Crach are being such attention whores that I don’t notice Mal has gone quiet, until their soft voice says, “You told your mom about us?”

It’s taking every fiber of control not to shove Craig out of the way and put myself where I belong, by Mal’s side.

“Yes, and she told me that if you’re what I want, what makes me happy, then I should go after you.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. She even said that it was weird for me to be living at home. That I should live my life for me.”

“And are you?” The hopeful look on Mal’s face is almost too much to stare directly at. I fear it will burn through me like the sun, so much goodness directed in one place.

“I haven’t figured everything out yet. My dad’s so angry right now that I left even for a few days. I’m not sure how he’ll take it if I move back here. But I want to.”

I lock eyes with Mal. We drove back separately from Glenwood Springs, but met up at Mal’s and drove over here together. I should have brought this up then. It should have been a discussion we had privately, not in front of our nosy friends. The only one even pretending not to hang on our drama is Kieran, but even he hasn’t swiped anything left or right for a few minutes.

“God,” Ben sighs and flops into the recliner. “My apartment really is cursed. Be careful, Kieran, or you’ll be next. Thankfully, I’ve been inoculated.”

The oven timer beeps and Ben cheers. “Thank god. I’m starving. Kieran made lasagna, and there’s enough for everyone if you want to join us,” Ben says, looking at Mal and me. I’m assuming Craig and Zach were already invited. “It’s spring break, so party time!”

“Kieran heated up a box of frozen lasagna,” Kieran says as he sets his phone down and heads into the kitchen. “So don’t get too excited. But Ben’s right. There’s plenty. Although some of us have work tomorrow.”

We file into the kitchen and scoop helpings onto Ben’s ridiculous Star Wars plates and return to sit around the coffee table. This time I make sure that Mal and I are together on the futon. But with the ease and comfort that this place and these people instill in me, I know in my heart that Mom’s right. This is my life. Not trying to be her caretaker, and doing a lousy job for her and for me. It feels selfish not to put her first, because she’s my mom and I love her. But I think moving back here and having a job that I love and a partner that I love would be honoring her wishes for me as my mother more than any of my fumbling caretaking attempts could. As my brain connects the thoughts and makes the decision, my body has already lost most of the tension I didn’t even realize I was carrying with me.

Mal cocks their head and hits me with a funny look. “Why are you smiling?”

My hands rise to touch my cheeks automatically. They’re right. I didn’t even realize I was smiling.

“I’m just happy to be back.”

“Oh,” Zach exclaims. “Parker, did Mal tell you about their plans?”

“Yes, and I’m so proud. I think it’s a brilliant idea.”

Mal told me before we left Glenwood Springs how they had decided to start their own freelance graphic design business. Apparently Zach helped them with the planning, and they’ll be working together on a lot of projects. They’ll be able to work from home and won’t have to worry about asshole bosses demanding that they change themself ever again. Their friend and former co-worker Nicole is apparently also on board, and plans to use Mal for side jobs and specialty work whenever she can. They showed me their schedule, and they are already booked for the next month.

Mal smiles, their normally confident self hidden with an unusual burst of humility. “I’m even thinking of looking for a new place in Fort Collins. Someplace with an extra room that I can use for work. It would be nice to be more central, especially if I need to meet with clients and with Zach all the time.”

I reach over and squeeze their hand that’s holding onto their plate. “I could help with that. Make sure there’s enough room for all my things too, maybe?”

Again, not exactly how I wanted to have this conversation with Mal, but I can’t help it. Now that I’ve made the decision, I can’t wait to get back on track with my life. I’m sure the others will think we’re rushing it, and there will be problems with Shelby and the divorce. But if I’ve learned one thing from the past few weeks with my mom, it’s that life’s too short. And I want Mal in my life.

Mal’s eyes slowly spread as my words sink in. They move their plate to the table without taking their eyes from mine. “Do you mean it?”

I smile and shrug. What if Mal thinks it’s too soon? What if everyone here is about to witness my rejection? I really should have reined myself in.

Mal squeals and throws themself into my lap, wrapping their arms around my neck. I have to hold my plate up to keep Mal from landing in it. I relax immediately into their touch. I guess I didn’t have to worry.

“I would love to live with you,” they say, and press a chaste kiss to my lips. We do have an audience, after all, which Ben reminds us with his gagging noises.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mal says without looking. “We all know you’re secretly gagging for it, Ben.”

The room erupts with laughter – everyone except me. I hold the person who has so quickly become my everything tight in my lap. I never plan on letting this one go.