The following weekend, we finished a three-game tournament early Saturday evening and hung out at a local pizza parlor with our teammates for a while before heading back to my house. Evan texted the address of a party he was going to with some friends from his football team and invited me to join him later. Not happening.

If Gabe and I had the house to ourselves, we weren’t going anywhere. We gave each other hand jobs in the shower, then dressed in boxer briefs and lay on the sofa with our legs entwined and watched Game of Thrones reruns until we started to drift to off. We headed for my room sometime around midnight, locked the door, and fell asleep. I heard Evan come home an hour or more later. It sounded like he was talking to someone. I hoped so. If Evan got laid, he’d be less concerned about my private life. Not that he’d said anything. We were both too busy with our sports and classes to hang out. I had to make a better effort, I mused as I draped my arm over Gabe’s stomach and closed my eyes.

I woke up a few hours later with my lover’s mouth on my dick. Fuck, there was something so incredible about slowly being coaxed to life with Gabe’s talented tongue. It didn’t take much for my orgasm to pull me under. I planted my feet flat on the mattress and held his head when I came. Gabe milked me dry, then rose above me and sealed his lips over mine, thrusting his tongue inside. I loved tasting myself on him and he knew it.

I pushed him onto his back, lowering myself until the tip of his dick hit my chin. I gripped him at the base and studied his girth for a moment before licking him like a lollipop. I was a novice at the art of giving a decent blowjob, but his hum of approval was encouraging.

“Fuck baby, that’s good,” he groaned loudly.

I glanced up and set my finger over my lips in warning before swallowing as much of him as I could. I stroked and sucked, pausing occasionally to fondle his balls. My skills may have been lacking but I made up for it with enthusiasm, bobbing my head while Gabe ran his fingers through my hair. I figured it was safe to do what I liked. Gabe seemed to agree. He lifted his hips and let out a muffled cry of warning. I sucked harder and didn’t stop until he pushed my forehead. Then I crawled over him and laid on his chest.

Gabe rolled over, switching positions and bucking his pelvis playfully. I felt him harden against my stomach. Not enough that he’d want to come again but enough to create a delicious friction. I raised my ass slightly and shivered when his length grazed my hole. I held his face between my hands and gave him a hungry look.

“I want to feel you inside me.”

Gabe widened his eyes and licked his lips. “Now?”

I reached down and squeezed his semi-erect cock, chuckling when he flinched. “Can you?”

Gabe shook his head and rolled to his side. “I can barely breathe right now. Give me ten minutes.”

I hooked my leg over his and shifted to face him. “Should I time you?”

“Such a smartass. Who knew? Actually, I did. You act calm and collected outside of the pool, but I always suspected you were a little fiery.”

“Fiery? Like hotheaded?” I asked dubiously. I was pragmatic and controlled—not fiery in the slightest, but I liked that he thought so.

“No. Passionate.” Gabe traced my eyebrows and cheekbones before leaning in to suck my bottom lip. “You want to know something?”

“Hmm?”

“Every day I want you more. It’s never been like this for me,” he said softly.

“Me either.” I closed my eyes for a second. “I never want this to end.”

Gabe frowned. “Why would it end?”

I shrugged. “I don’t want anything to change, but I’m going to graduate and you’re going to the Olympics. I’m not suggesting we’re like your last relationship but—”

“We’re nothing like that,” he intercepted, furrowing his brow. “And we’re not ending. We’re beginning, babe.”

There was a feverish quality in his eyes that dared me to challenge him. I wasn’t a total idiot. I wouldn’t bring up the weird looks my ex gave me in class or Evan’s questioning stare when I told him I was hanging out with Gabe again. I had a feeling we weren’t as inconspicuous as we hoped.

Or maybe I was an idiot, I mused when I opened my mouth and asked, “Did he hurt you?”

Gabe’s already intense expression went steely. I was instantly reminded of what it felt like to be on opposing teams. His feral gaze was meant to send a warning sign. This topic was off-limits. As it should have been. No one wanted to rehash a painful breakup.…But I was beyond curious about the man who came before me.

When the silence stretched on, I figured he wouldn’t respond. And then he did.

“We hurt each other. Our expectations didn’t match our reality anymore, which I suppose is another way to say we grew apart. We weren’t honest about what we wanted. The funny thing about dishonesty is that you think you’re protecting something and you end up killing it. You know, I didn’t want to tell him I made the national team at first.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. Maybe on some level, I knew we wouldn’t make it. Is that what happened with you and Amanda?”

“Yeah,” I said softly. “I knew it was over well before I broke up with her. I just didn’t know why.”

Gabe held my gaze thoughtfully. “Are you okay? You look sad.”

I shrugged and kissed his brow. “I’m fine. Want to go to the beach?”

He grabbed my wrist when I scooted to the edge of the mattress. “Hang on. If you’re worried about something, you should tell me.”

“I’m not worried, but…Gabe, we can’t sneak around forever.”

“We’re fine. We have six weeks left in our season. We got this.”

“And then what?”

“Hey.” Gabe bent to suck on my left nipple, then sat up. “We’ll worry about it when we get there, but nothing has to change. What time is it?”

“Eight forty-five,” I replied, running my fingers along his spine. “Evan sleeps until noon on Sundays. Get ready.”

Gabe crossed the room to pick up his backpack and frowned. “I need swim trunks. I’m not wearing a banana hammock to the beach.”

I pointed at my bottom drawer and told him to choose whatever he wanted. He dug out a pair of multicolored swim trunks and waved them above his head like a flag. Then he stepped into one leg but lost his footing and almost fell on his ass. He regained his balance and shot a comical glance my way before shaking his hips so his flaccid penis swayed from side to side. I chuckled at his antics and pointed at the door.

I wasn’t sure I agreed with Gabe, but he had the right attitude. I didn’t want to waste a moment worrying about the past or the future and take a chance I might miss out on today.

Some days autumn in Southern California felt like summertime. According to the calendar it was early November, but the seventy-degree temperature, blue skies, and zero breeze screamed beach weather. We rode bicycles from my house to the boardwalk. Evan and I kept a couple of extra bikes in the garage for friends to borrow to go barhopping or to cruise to the beach. I gave Gabe an old, black three-speed with a basket and snickered at his enthusiastic fist bump when he realized his backpack would fit with the towels and Smashball paddles. We stopped at a small market along the way and bought sandwiches and pre-cut watermelon to snack on before continuing to the beach. Then we locked up the bikes, tossed our belongings on the sand, and ran to the water.

When the first big wave rolled in, we caught it and let the current pull us into the Pacific. Gabe came up for air with a whoop. I laughed when he smacked the water’s surface the way he did after he’d made a great play. I swam to his side and impulsively hugged him. There was no one near us, and we were far enough from the shoreline that no one would notice anyway. Nonetheless, I was surprised when he yanked me against him and fused his lips to mine. He pulled back with a grin and pointed to the wave cresting behind him.

“Let’s ride this one in. Last one to shore has to massage my feet. Ready? Go!”

He was long gone before I could reply. I had no hope of catching up to him, but I gave it my best effort. Gabe greeted me with a devilish grin before hurrying toward our backpacks. He grabbed the Smashball paddles and a tiny red ball and motioned for me to join him on the wet sand before handing me a paddle.

“I should warn you that I’m really good at this,” I boasted. “Evan and I got up to two hundred this summer.”

“If that’s the world record, we need to beat it.”

“That took forever. There’s no way you and I can do it in one go.”

He adjusted his sunglasses and scoffed. “Not with that attitude.”

“I didn’t know you were so competitive outside of the pool,” I griped.

“I was born this way. Can’t turn it off. I’m a firm believer that you should never stop till you get what you’re after. And today we’re all about chasing number two hundred and one. Let’s do this, baby.”

Gabe wasn’t kidding. He was wildly competitive. We didn’t hit our goal the first two tries, but we were getting better. One hundred and seven and then one fifty-three. I made him take a break to eat but agreed to continue the quest afterward.

We spread our towels on the sand and unwrapped our small feast. Gabe tore into his sandwich with gusto. I chuckled at his blissed-out expression and focused on the glitter of sunlight across his handsome face. Damn, he was beautiful. He reminded me of a warrior with his proud carriage and furrowed brow. He was the kind of guy who was willing to work hard and make sacrifices where necessary, but he wouldn’t give up. If he set his sights on a goal, he went for it full-board.

“You’re really going to the Olympics, aren’t you?”

Gabe gave me a shrewd once-over with a roguish grin. “Where’d that come from?”

“I dunno. You don’t let go when you get an idea in your head.”

He finished chewing, then nodded. “Probably true.”

“That means I could be here until midnight playing Smashball with you,” I groused playfully.

Gabe chuckled. “We’re gonna do it, Der. Never a doubt. See, it’s all in the way you look at it. You say ‘until midnight,’ but the real goal is ‘until we hit two hundred and one.’ Subtle but it makes a difference. One is based on time and the other on achievement. The achievement is the important part. If you can get timeliness to mesh with achievement, even better. So to answer your question…yes. I’m going to the Olympics. I don’t know when or in what capacity, but it’ll happen.”

“I like that you’re so sure.”

“It’s necessary. If you give yourself any wiggle room, some of that desire seeps through and you begin to second guess your purpose, ya know?” he asked, turning to face me.

“Maybe. I’ve never had a dream that big. Graduating college and finding a job is as big as it gets for me right now. I just don’t want to work for my dad.”

“What does he do?”

“His firm sells technology services to utility companies. Don’t ask me what that means. All I know is, there’s no equipment involved and it’s supposedly the next big wave in the tech market.” I glided my hand over my head to indicate I had no idea what the hell any of that meant.

“Okay, so what do you want to do? Where do you see yourself a year from now? Do you want to stay in the area or move to LA or San Francisco? I know you, Der. You’re a planner. You must have ideas.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I do. I want to go to culinary school and eventually open my own bistro. My parents won’t approve but…”

“But it’s your life.”

“True, but you’ve met my folks at our games. You can probably tell what I’m up against,” I huffed.

“Yeah. They’re a little intense,” he conceded.

“That’s one way to put it. I either have to prepare to do battle or take the easy way out and just do what they expect. I’m twenty-three, but my desire to please and not rock the boat hasn’t gone anywhere. I mean…look at you. The Olympics is a lofty goal, but it’s a solid one. A bright shiny coin…or gold medal,” I commented with a smile. “Mine is fuzzier. The uncertainty makes me feel like I’m treading water in the deep end of the pool in the dark. I can do it, but I wish I could see.”

Gabe tilted his chin thoughtfully. “You use your senses. That’s even better. You say you’re confused sometimes, but you know when to pay attention. You identify the obstacles and take notes. I like that about you.”

“I think that’s a nice way of saying I’m overly cautious,” I huffed before biting into my sandwich.

“Take a compliment, Vaughn. I think you’re cool. I like you and I admire you.”

I lowered my sunglasses and flashed a megawatt grin at him. “Thank you. I think you’re pretty cool too.”

“Aww. Quit it. You’re making me blush,” he snorted, bumping my arm.

We stared at the horizon, lost in our own thoughts for a moment. I didn’t want to talk about uncertain futures anymore, but I was curious about something.

“I thought the Olympics was something your dad wanted. When did it become your dream?” I asked as I reached into my bag for a water bottle.

Gabe furrowed his brow and scratched the back of his neck. “When he had his next kid. I guess I wanted him to remember I was still around.”

“Oh.”

“He didn’t call or come by consistently anymore and…I didn’t do well with the rejection. I was angry all the time. One day it came out in my game. I scored five goals, caused five kickouts for the other team and morphed into a freaking Tasmanian devil in the water. I remember my coach pulling me aside afterward and saying, ‘Passion is your muse. Use it.’ I was maybe eleven. I didn’t know what he meant at the time, but I wrote it down. My mom was always doing that to help her learn English and…long story short, my coach was right. The second I rechanneled my anger, I was free. Pretty soon, the sport that dragged me down and highlighted all of my flaws, like my inability to focus, my lack of drive and determination…became my greatest strength. I made the game mine. It’s not his. It belongs to me. We may share some DNA, but I’m nothing like him. I’m not a quitter.”

“Did he quit water polo?”

“No. He quit on his family. He quit on me. He makes guest appearances now like that’s a big fucking deal and…”

“And what?”

“It’s not. Fuck him,” he said in a small voice. “If I ever have kids, I won’t be an occasional dad. Maybe water polo isn’t everything, but it’s helped me become a better person. John Wooden said sports don’t build character, they reveal it. I totally believe that’s true. Discipline, friendship, hard work. I don’t know where I’ll be in five years or ten or twenty. Maybe I’ll coach, teach or hey…maybe I’ll work at my boyfriend’s bistro selling—” Gabe tossed a quizzical sideways glance at me. “What are we selling?”

“Baguettes and stuff,” I replied, pursing my lips together to keep my smile from expanding too far too fast.

“Cool. I like bread. The point is…I’m going to keep working my ass off, and I’m gonna do my best to be a decent human. That’s all.”

I swallowed around the lump in my throat, overcome with pride and admiration for him. I felt his pain and his strength as though he’d handed them to me for safekeeping for a moment. He’d left himself open and raw and in that instant, I felt closer to him than anyone else on the planet.

“You’re going to be the best, Gabe.”

He reached out to lower my sunglasses and then his own. “So are you. Kiss me.”

“Here?”

“Yeah. Right here, right now.”

I leaned in and brought my lips close to his. It was a featherlight connection, like we were both holding our breaths and waiting for a sign to commemorate something new and significant between us. Then Gabe closed his eyes and gently molded his lips to mine. Neither of us moved for a long moment. We just breathed and listened and let ourselves become that something new.

But when I licked the corner of his mouth, everything changed in a flash. Gabe cradled my face and pushed his tongue inside in a passionate, demanding kiss that left me feeling blissed out and slightly intoxicated. I let out an awkward laugh and rested my forehead against his.

“That wasn’t a quick kiss. Anyone can see us,” I hummed, not bothering to move away.

“I should probably care, but I don’t. Come home with me, or I’ll come home with you. I just…I want you, Der.”

I backed up, then and studied him for a moment before nodding. “Yes. Let’s go.”

Evan pulled up in front of the house just as we hopped off our bikes and deposited them in the garage. Gabe plucked his backpack from the basket and hooked his thumb toward the street.

“My place.”

“Yeah. I’ll just drop my stuff off. I should probably shower,” I said awkwardly.

“Use my shower.”

“Is it bigger?”

“No, but…” Gabe narrowed his eyes and set his hands on his hips. “Wait up. Are you going to dump me ’cause my water pressure sucks?”

I snickered at his flabbergasted expression, loving that he knew how to set me at ease with a sweet smile and a silly joke. “No. Mine sucks too. I’m just…nervous. We’re doing this, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, we are. But don’t be nervous.” He started to put his arm around me but dropped it and shoved his backpack in front of his crotch when Evan walked up the driveway. “C’mon. I’m sportin’ major wood right now. Quick good-byes, please.”

Evan greeted us with bro fist bumps and a ready grin. “How was the beach?”

“Good. Where’ve you been?” I asked.

It might have been my imagination, but he looked almost bashful when he replied. “I’m working on a school project. Double secret.”

“Oh? Tell us all about it.”

“What part of double secret didn’t you get? I’ll lose my spy card if I divulge confidential info,” Evan said with a laugh. “Are you around for dinner? I miss your lasagna, Der. And that banana bread you used to make for Amanda all the time. He put butterscotch chips in it. So good. I’m going through withdrawals. Has he cooked for you yet? He’s fuckin’ amazing.”

“Yeah, he’s a great cook. I’ve had his spaghetti and meatballs and veggie orzo but not lasagna.” Gabe replied. “You make a mean grilled cheese too, ba—Der.”

“Thanks.”

Evan quirked his brow curiously. I held my breath and waited for him to ask when I’d started breaking out my best recipes for a guy I couldn’t stand a few months ago and if he’d actually almost called me “babe.” Thankfully, Evan let it go. He headed up the path to the front door instead and motioned for us to hurry up.

“Come on. Let’s watch the game. We can order pizza or something.”

“Um…we can’t. We have an early practice. I’m gonna crash at Gabe’s and get a ride with him in the morning. My car’s been acting weird,” I lied.

He regarded me with that same curious look, then shrugged. “Oh. Okay. I’ll see ya then.”

I waited until Evan disappeared inside the house before I spoke. “I hate lying. It sucks.”

Gabe didn’t say anything. Confirmation wasn’t necessary. Secrecy wasn’t thrilling anymore. It was exhausting. And it felt dishonest. Evan deserved better from me.

Gabe’s apartment was a Spanish-style relic from the 1970s with low ceilings and vintage features that were so dated, they actually looked chic. Like the macramé wall art above the gray sectional and the bright orange spherical pendant hanging over a white plastic dining table. I didn’t get the impression the retro modern vibe was intentional, but it was cool. Best of all, he kept it relatively clean and tidy, I mused, casting my gaze around the open floor plan before setting my backpack on a dining chair.

“Want something to drink?” he asked as he headed for the galley-style kitchen adjacent to the living area. “I’m gonna order pizza. They usually deliver in ten or fifteen minutes. And yeah, I know, a salad for you. Boring vinaigrette on the side, hold the olives.”

I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my black sweatshirt I’d thrown on. “Thank you. Maybe we should have stayed for pizza with Evan. I feel like he knows something is up.”

“I know what you mean. It’s getting harder to behave myself around you in front of an audience. Troy gave me a weird look in the locker room the other day when I put my hand on your shoulder. I have to stop touching you so much. Water okay?”

“Yes, please.”

Gabe filled two glasses and handed me one. “I think Brent has beer too, if you want one.”

“You’d steal your roommate’s beer for me?” I asked with a chuckle.

“Anything for you, baby.”

The sultry look in his eyes went straight to my dick. I was suddenly parched. I licked my lips and then gulped half of my water. Then I set my glass down and leaned against the counter.

“Is Brent coming home tonight?”

“He said he was at his parents’ for a family dinner. They live in Lake Arrowhead, so we have a few hours.” He sidled closer to me and ran his fingers down my neck.

“You look like you want to take a bite out of me,” I joked. “I thought we were having pizza.”

“Fuck pizza.” Gabe stepped between my legs and lined his cock up with mine.

My workout pants and his borrowed swim trunks didn’t provide much of a barrier. I groaned when he jutted his hips suggestively. I tipped my head back, allowing him room to lick a trail over my Adam’s apple and along my chin before covering my mouth in a searing kiss. When the need for oxygen became a reality, I pulled back and laid my head on his shoulder for a moment. I wondered why the gesture didn’t feel odd or emasculating. I’d never leaned on ex-girlfriends the way I did with Gabe. I knew I’d been guilty of stereotyping and assuming a role I thought I was supposed to play in past relationships. It felt incredible to let go and just be myself with him. My newfound sense of freedom was exhilarating. And every day that I became a little more comfortable in my skin, I felt equally stifled by the secrecy. But I wasn’t going to worry about that tonight.

I pushed at his chest slightly and then reached out to touch his swollen lips. “Gabe, we should—”

“Shower,” he intercepted. “This way.”

He held my hand and led me down a short hallway to the bathroom. There wasn’t enough room for two grown men to comfortably share the space for long. Gabe turned on the water, then pulled his T-shirt over his head and undid the drawstring on his swim trunks.

I closed the bathroom door and admired the view for a moment. Gabe’s body was a thing of beauty. I let my gaze travel down his torso to his V-line. I loved the whole package, but my eyes always lingered on that sexy dip leading south. He caught my stare and smirked. “You coming in?”

He stepped into the bathtub and pulled the navy shower curtain halfway across the bar. I finished undressing and set my clothes on the six inches of counter space available before joining him.

“Let me wash your back.” I wrapped my arms around him and wiggled my fingers expectantly.

Gabe handed me a bar of soap, then reached for the shampoo and lathered his hair. “Go fast. The hot water doesn’t last long.”

I washed his back and reached around to soap up his cock, pausing to nibble on his shoulder. “I love your skin. It’s so smooth and…sexy.”

Gabe turned abruptly and kissed me hard. He swayed his hips from side to side, so his thick penis tapped my leg. “We have to hurry, baby. Change places with me. I’ll take care of you.”

I wanted to analyze the sentiment of “taking care,” but he didn’t give me a chance. He scooted around me until I stood under the warm spray. I laughed at his rough ministrations. Gabe wasn’t kidding about hurrying along the action. He kissed me repeatedly as he rubbed shampoo into my hair; then he bit my lip and told me to turn around. He opened the shower curtain and grabbed a tube from the jumble of products on the overcrowded countertop.

“What is that?”

“Lube.”

“Are we doing this in here? I don’t think I—”

“No, baby. Relax. We’ve done this part lots of times.”

“Not in the shower. Is that waterproof? Is there such a thing? Fuck, I should have researched lube brands. Some must be better than others. I’m gonna Google it and—”

“Der, do you trust me?”

I gulped but nodded immediately. “Yes.”

“Good. Turn around. Go on.” He smacked my right cheek when I hesitated, and my dick twitched in response.

Fuck, who was I? I’d never gotten off on power plays, and spanking wasn’t my kink. Or was it? I turned back to glance at the handprint on my ass and scowled at my lover as he squeezed lube onto his hand. “That hurt.”

“And you liked it,” he quipped with a roguish grin. “Spread your cheeks, baby. That’s it. How does that feel?”

Oh, my God. Amazing. I dropped my head and braced my left hand on the white tile and gripped myself as Gabe slipped the tip of a finger into my hole. The cool gel and warm water and the feel of his skin against me was a heady combination. He tapped his erection against my ass and sucked the water from my shoulder as he pushed his digit farther inside me. I groaned and backed up, wordlessly asking for more. He complied, hooking his finger expertly before adding another.

“Fuck,” I whimpered.

“Does that feel good?”

The water cloaked us in a sensual cocoon and highlighted sound and touch. It didn’t just feel good, it felt incredible. “Yes. More.”

He worked a second finger inside and pushed the tip of a third against my entrance just as the water went cold. Gabe pulled out gently and washed his hands again before turning off the spray. He stepped out of the shower and grabbed two towels. We dried off quickly. I tied the navy towel around my waist as Gabe opened the door and tossed his on the floor.

“This way,” he said.

I followed him into the adjacent bedroom. He closed the door behind him, then turned on a bedside lamp. A queen-sized bed with a black-and-white striped duvet and a narrow side table were the only furniture. The white walls were decorated with water polo posters and a giant corkboard lined with evenly spaced personal photos of family and friends. I moved to examine a new one of a selfie we’d taken at a recent tournament just as Gabe pulled me against him and thrust his tongue into my mouth hungrily.

I hummed into the connection and raked my fingernails down his back. We stood naked next to the bed, making out with roving hands and soft sighs. I caught our reflection in the mirror next to his closet. My already aching cock pulsed with need at the sight of us naked together. Gabe followed my gaze and grinned wickedly before squeezing my ass. Our tongues dueled frantically, letting the sweet grind build to a feverish pitch until we were writhing and desperate for friction. He massaged my hole repeatedly as he slid his erection alongside mine and sucked my tongue. Fuck, he felt amazing, but it wasn’t enough.

Gabe stepped aside and pushed the duvet to the end of the mattress. He flopped onto the bed, then held his left hand out in invitation while he stroked himself with his right. “C’mere. Let me touch you.”

“My turn first.”

I crawled between his thighs and pressed kisses down his smooth chest, stopping to lick one nipple and then the other. Gabe hummed his approval as he ran his fingers through my hair. He lifted his hips in a wordless request for me to keep going. I kissed my way south until his prick nudged my chin. I grabbed him at the base and looked up at him before flattening my tongue and licking his shaft up one side and down the other. I briefly sucked on the wide mushroom head, then swallowed as much of him as I could.

Sucking Gabe’s cock had become one of my favorite pastimes. I loved the way he tasted and smelled. But more than anything, I loved his responsiveness. He had a way of making me feel like I was a blowjob genius in training. He tilted his hips as he praised my mad skills.

“So good, baby. Fuck, yeah.”

I loved that he called me “baby.” It was endearing and decadent, something sweet I probably shouldn’t allow. But in the heat of the moment, it was just one more thing that turned me inside out. I backed off to catch my breath but continued stroking him in a firm grip with my right hand while I jacked myself with my left. Just as I was about to open my mouth again, he pushed at my forehead. Then he pulled me against him and rolled on top of me. It was almost a signature move. We laughed at how easily he could switch positions sometimes. But tonight…it made me nervous.

“Gabe, wait.”

“What is it?” he asked, backing up slightly.

I propped myself on my elbows and gulped. “I did some research about…you know. Um, I think it’s supposed to hurt. Does it hurt? I mean…you’ve been on the receiving end, right? Did you like it?” I hated that I sounded like such a weenie, but my accelerated pulse was making it difficult to breathe.

Gabe braced himself above me and studied me for a moment before falling to his side. He threw his leg over mine and pulled me to face him. “Maybe we should talk first.”

I closed my eyes and let out a theatric groan. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to fuck this up, but—”

“You’re not fucking up anything. You know how it works, right?”

“Yeah, your dick goes in my ass. Seems simple enough, except your dick is fucking huge,” I huffed sarcastically.

“Why, thank you very much,” he replied in a goofy Elvis impression. When I rolled my eyes, he pinched my ass playfully and nipped my chin. “Everyone’s first time is different. We’ll go slow. If you want to stop, we’ll stop.”

I bit my bottom lip and nodded. “Okay. So now what?”

Gabe cupped the back of my neck and sealed his mouth over mine as he pushed me onto my back again. The passionate kiss went a long way toward rekindling the fire my nerves had doused. I hooked my legs over his ass to keep him close and sighed at the delicious feel of his thick cock gliding alongside mine. My stomach was slick with our combined precum, creating a natural lube as we humped against each other like horny teenagers. I tilted my hips just as Gabe lowered himself on his belly and crouched between my legs. He gripped my dick and waited for me to look at him. Then he motioned for me to give him the lube and condom on his nightstand.

I obeyed before lying back on the pillow to watch him.

“You okay so far?”

I licked my lips hungrily. “Yes.”

Gabe grinned and swooped quickly to swallow me whole. I gasped at the sensual onslaught as he sucked me like a madman. I heard the click of a bottle cap, but I couldn’t focus. He licked my balls while he stroked my cock. And then he gently rubbed a single digit over my entrance, applying just enough pressure to make me want more.

“I’m ready. Put your finger in me.”

Gabe kissed the inside of my thigh as he pushed two fingers in my hole. A lightning bolt of pleasure swept through me. He pushed in and out a couple of times, hitting my sweet spot at each pass. I writhed under him, wantonly lifting my hips to meet the friction.

“Okay?”

“Oh fuck, yes. More, please,” I groaned.

He eagerly complied, upping the tempo as he simultaneously stroked my dick and finger fucked me. I mumbled his name incoherently, arching my back to meet his thrusts. I was on fire.

And then he pulled away.

I sat up to protest but shut my mouth when Gabe ripped open the condom and rolled the latex over his rigid cock. He locked his gaze on mine as he added lube and pumped himself a few times. Then he scooted close and glided his hard-on along my entrance.

“Look at me, baby.” He waited for me to obey before continuing. “Watch me, okay? Remember, you’re in control. If you want to stop, I’ll stop.”

I nodded, then licked my lips nervously. “I’m ready. Do it.”

He set his sheathed cock over my hole and pushed. Fuck, that was amazing. “Still good?”

“So good. Are you inside me?”

Gabe let out a strangled-sounding half laugh. “Just the tip.”

I chuckled at his exaggerated pained expression. “Gimme more. I want you.”

He moved inch by inch, pausing frequently to make sure I was all right. And I was. Sure, it hurt every once in a while, but then a surge of intense pleasure would chase away the pain and send me so close to the brink, I was afraid I’d come before he really started to move. I studied Gabe’s features, noting his furrowed brow and the sweat beading on his forehead as he struggled to stay in control. My heart did a funny flip in my chest. I brushed his damp hair from his forehead and kissed it just as his balls hit my ass.

“How do you feel?”

“Good, but maybe you should move and—oh, fuck. Yes,” I cried.

Gabe pulled almost all the way out before easing his way back inside. Then he did it again…and again. He took his time, slowly rocking his hips back and forth, setting a slow but steady rhythm.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” he hummed.

And so did he. Or something better than amazing. I didn’t have words for how I felt. I was overwhelmed. This was beautiful and raw and more intense than anything I’d ever experienced with a lover. Every push and pull seemed to right the balance. We fit each other so well. The ways we were the same and the ways we contrasted were in perfect harmony, from our similar height and build to the difference in our skin color. And the soulful, sweet way he looked at me as he moved inside me was sheer perfection.

Gabe flattened his chest against mine and captured my lips as he quickened his strokes. My dick was trapped between us now, and the friction we generated felt incredible. The mattress creaked when he picked up speed. We shared a smile at the incessant clink of metal but when he changed his angle, pumping and thrusting his hips wildly, my vision blurred. I knew I wouldn’t last.

“I’m close,” I whispered as that first tingle of awareness flitted along my spine.

“You go first, baby. Come for me.”

Gabe braced himself on one hand and closed his fist around my throbbing cock. And I exploded. Cum shot up my chest and over his fingers. I trembled as I clung to him, burying my face in his neck while I rode out one of the most intense orgasms of my life. Gabe’s own release pulled him under a moment later. He collapsed on top of me, bucking his hips and gasping for air. I held him close until he caught his breath and nuzzled my cheek.

Gabe smiled and carefully disengaged from my body. He rolled the spent condom from his cock with a sheepish look. “I better get rid of this. Be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

I watched him leave the room and listened as he moved down the hall and into the adjacent bathroom. Then I sat up and looked down at the mess of sweat and cum on my chest in wonder.

We’d actually done it. He’d been inside me. I’d gone years without thinking twice about anal sex to thinking about it all the damn time and wondering how it felt to be connected to someone that way. Now I knew.

I gingerly set a finger over my entrance and—

“I brought you a towel and—fuck, that’s hot. I could watch you finger your hole all damn night,” Gabe purred in a sex-hazed voice. He swiped the mess off my stomach and then jumped onto the bed beside me.

The blush was instantaneous. “I wasn’t fingering myself.”

“Oh, sorry. Is there another term for sticking your finger in—”

I pounced on him, straddling his stomach and pulling his hands above his head. The smartass remark I had on the tip of my tongue was reduced to a whimper when he lifted his hips suggestively.

“I loved it,” I blurted.

Gabe gave me a lopsided smile as he pulled out of my grasp. Then he gathered me close before rolling sideways so we faced each other. “Me too.”

“I probably need a little recovery time, but I want to do it again.” I traced his toned abs before meeting his gaze. “And I want to fuck you too. Will you let me?”

“Yes.”

“Really? Just like that?”

“Of course.”

I pursed my lips and looked away for a moment to gather my thoughts and somehow communicate what I was feeling.

“I…you’re special,” I blurted lamely.

His tentative smile morphed into a boyish grin. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I readily agreed before shaking my head. “No, you’re more than special. You’re extraordinary, and I just—”

I caught myself before I blurted the “I love you” on the tip of my tongue. He’d either think it was a heat of the moment confession, or he’d freak out altogether and the last thing I wanted was to scare him away. I bit my lip and tried to think of a non-threatening way to tell him I’d do anything to be with him.

Gabe threaded his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead. “You just what?” he prodded.

I gulped and leaned into his touch. “You’re my favorite person. I want good things to happen to you.”

He gave me a thoughtful stare, then caressed my cheek lovingly. “You’re mine too, Der. Want to know a secret?”

I smiled at his signature question. It had a funny way of adding intimacy to our situation since we were, by definition, a secret. “Hmm?”

“If I could have anything in the world, this is all I’d want. Me and you. The rest doesn’t matter.”

“The Olympics doesn’t matter?” I joked. I couldn’t help it. His intensity surprised me. I felt a stupid desire to lighten the mood before I pledged my undying love.

Gabe frowned. “The Olympics have nothing to do with us. Water polo has nothing to do with us. We’re our own thing, and what we have is special.”

I nodded profusely, then smothered him with kisses until he chuckled. When I tickled his sides, he flipped me on my back and pulled my arms over my head. He grinned down at me, panting as he stared into my eyes. I could have sworn I saw everything I felt for him in that look.

Maybe even love.